Blaine doesn't notice the new email until fifteen minutes after it arrives but as soon as he does he closes everything else down and with a deep breath clicks it open.
From:
Kurt Hummel
Subject:
Re: Wedding Negotiations
1. Set a date – Or not? (I'll explain.)
2. New York or Ohio
3. Pick a season: Fall
4. Vows ?
5. Singing at the wedding – Do I even want to know?
6. Honeymoon (!) – This is worth talking about!
7. Children, careers, home – This we have to talk about.
8. Theme. Place. Size
9. Wedding party (who?)
11. Rings
12. Last names
13. Money
Assuming this is a list of things we need to talk about, I propose this amended version in order of importance (kind of) and discussion:
1. Don't set a date
2. Children, careers, home
3. Money
4. Rings
5. Last names
6. Honeymoon (!) – This is worth talking about!
7. Wedding party (who?)
8. Theme. Place. Size
9. Vows ?
10. Singing at the wedding – Do I even want to know?
Love
K
xo
PS. Skype me if you like.
Blaine reads through it twice, his heart in his throat and his head spinning. He thinks maybe this is what Kurt felt like before, the overwhelming too-muchness of it. Then again, that's why he made the list.
He rereads that first, important point once more:
Set a date – Or not?
Then he clicks Skype back open and waits anxiously for Kurt to accept his call and connect.
Kurt's in his pyjamas, his hair damp from a shower, and he's smiling.
"You don't want to set a date?" Blaine blurts and then blushes because he must seem so desperate.
Kurt's lips twitch into a broader grin.
"Listen to me for a second, okay?"
"Yeah."
"I mean, like really listen. We both agreed we need to work on communication and that being in different states makes that hard so I need you to listen."
Blaine stares and then nods slowly, meaning it.
"I'm not saying I don't want to get married to you. I said yes, I meant yes, stop doubting that, I've stopped doubting that. I stopped doubting it as soon as I said it. But everything you promised me, the… everything for eternity and being together and loving each other, none of that needs marriage. That's… We could be married and miserable and I don't want that. I want to be happy and you make me happy."
Kurt stops but Blaine doesn't know if he's meant to speak yet. Kurt watches him, seemingly trying to gauge how well he's listened and then he keeps going. "I wanna be married to you, I really do, I've wanted that since before I met you but we're so young. That's what my dad thinks though he hasn't really said it. I don't want to set a date yet. I want to be engaged to you. I want to be with you. I want you to come to New York and for us to work all our shit out and then I want to get married to you. Does that make sense?"
Blaine processes and Kurt fidgets in front of him. "It does. Can I say something?"
Kurt cracks a grin and nods.
"Burt told me we were too young."
"Yeah, I thought he might have. Do you really want to set a date? I mean… when? When were you thinking?"
Blaine realizes quickly that, ridiculously, he hasn't really thought that far ahead. The list… he has so many ideas for the list —seasons and suits and best men and vows—and he wants to be married to Kurt but the logistics seem to have somewhat escaped him. "I just… I wanted soon," he answers honestly.
"Okay. Why?"
"How'd you get so wise?" Blaine wonders aloud because the point is so obvious now.
Kurt laughs, light and high and shakes his head. "Are you agreeing with my wisdom because you agree with it or because you don't want to upset me?"
"First one."
"If we wait, and don't set a date, we can still plan all the rest."
Blaine heart skips a beat because all the rest is everything.
"I've put the whole 'kids, career, lifestyle' thing up the top because we really should check we're on the same page for that but then the rest we could enjoy. We have time. We can pretend we're both going to have lots of money and options and plan a dream wedding and maybe later we could come back to reality, set a date and see how much money we actually have?"
"Can we say less than five years?" Blaine asks.
Kurt stares at him and sucks on his bottom lip. "Less than five years," he agrees and Blaine breathes out a sigh of relief. "But I'd like to be engaged for at least a year. I'd like to live with you for at least six months."
"Yeah. Okay. Less than five, more than one."
"And hopefully we'll have some money and an extensive plan."
"And even if we don't have money we can just pour all that planning into a really extravagant vow renewal ten years later when we'll definitely both be successful and rich and—"
"Start another list!" Kurt teases and Blaine huffs out a laugh.
After several long moments Blaine says, "Thank you for talking to me."
"Thank you for listening."
"So we're not setting a date," Blaine says, trying on the idea and finding it pleasing. "I'm going to come to New York and we'll live in sin for a while, see how that suits us."
"Sounds perfect to me."
"Do you want to tackle point number two?"
"I kind of just want to go to sleep."
It's after midnight and they've both had ridiculously big days. "Point number two soon then?"
"Definitely," but Kurt doesn't say goodbye. "Were you gonna go to bed now?" he eventually asks.
Blaine shrugs, "I probably should."
"Could we not log off yet? It'll feel weird not going to sleep next to you."
"What do you…" Blaine begins to question but then the image tilts and blurs and when it's righted again Blaine can tell that Kurt's put his laptop down on the bed and sure enough he's sliding under the covers and settling his cheek to the pillow, staring bright-eyed back at Blaine.
"Hang on," Blaine mumbles and moves quickly out of shot to pull off his clothes and slip into bed in just his underwear with his laptop. He opens it properly and checks the image of him being transmitted to Kurt.
"This is weird," Kurt says but he's still smiling.
"This is nice," Blaine whispers.
They talk about nothing until Kurt begins to mumble and then forgets to answer at all, his breathing settling evenly into sleep. Blaine doesn't care how ridiculous he feels reaching out to trace the shape of Kurt's cheek with his fingers pressed against the screen. Then Blaine closes his eyes and goes to sleep as well.