I could see the sweat glimmering in the sunlight, it was like a thousand little diamonds covering my body. My nude body, that was only shied by the thin, silk cream colored sheet around me. I knew it was early, maybe four or five in the morning. But, I couldn't go back to sleep. Not after what happened last night.

I lost my virginity to...Linden. I gave in. I let my vulnerable state ruin all I've held onto. And possibly ruin any chance I had at being with Gabriel.

Or escaping...

"Time for bath." I was snapped out of my thoughts by Deirdre's cheerful voice. Maybe I was wrong about the time. She usually doesn't come till around noon.

I, on instincts, then pulled the sheet tighter around myself, when my senses came back. I was completely bare, and covered in sweat and semen. I did not want Deidre to see me like this. Regret covering my body like a second skin. A mistake that should've never happened, but did.

And all that was left to show for it was the fluids that now cover my body.

"Um...I'll go run it myself. T-Thank you though." I told her, and with that, and a little hesitation, Deirdre was gone from the room.

I breathed out a sigh of relief, as I moved my body off the bed, taking the sheet around my body, with me. It was like it was in slow motion, or like I was watching everything I was doing in another body. Surreal almost.

My legs felt like jelly, all rubbery, as I made my way into the bathroom. I kept my view on the bath, and the bath alone. If I saw what I looked like in the mirror, I know I would break. The one thing I've kept at bay, would finally fall apart.

I would fall apart.

And the nauseated feeling in the pit of my stomach would make it's self known. Probably all over the floor. Because I felt too weak to make it to the toilet.

But, I held it in, and I willed myself to the bath. Dropping the sheet I had a death-grip on, onto the cold tile floor.

And as I watched the water pour down into the bath like a steaming waterfall, I thought of Jenna.

And how she would probably be shaking her head right now, in disappointment.

I couldn't stop the tears that slid down my already stained cheeks.

"Shhh, Bowen, please!" I heard Cecily exclaim in her loud voice from across the hall. I knew she was probably trying to breastfeed him again, and again, it probably wasn't going the way she hope'd . I knew Vaughn was feeding him formula behind Cecily's back. I wanted to tell her, but, I knew she wouldn't listen.

Vaughn had her, and Linden wrapped around his finger so tightly, that there was nothing that could make them see differently about him.

Only Jenna and I saw different...

My heart started aching again, and I could feel tears welling up in the back of my eyes. I held them at bay though, I didn't want to break down here. I had to be presentable.

I had to be the actress I have become, and pretend everything is fine.

I'm the first wife of Linden Ashby.

I moved across the hall with quiet steps, almost like a ghost. I headed towards the library, or at least I was, till I ran into a warm frame. A frame I got to know very well last night. One that moved with my body, and made me regret it the very next day.

Linden...

"Sweetheart? Are you alright? You look a little pale." As Linden says this, as he steps back and cups my cheeks with his hands. His hands softly caresses my cheeks. Making my cheeks then burn a fire hot blush. This time, it wasn't faked.

And neither was my pulse jumping up. But, I rather not admit or acknowledge that one.

"Y-Yes, I'm fine. Just a little tired, that's all." I mentally cursed at myself for stuttering. I never stutter around him, why did I start now?

Something is out of place here. These feelings and all.

"Are you sure?" Linden persists, his green eyes holding nothing but concern, and worry in them. It almost made me want to tell the truth. Almost.

"Yeah. I'm sure." I plastered a fake smile on my lips, and stepped away from his grasp. I didn't even look in his direction, as I walked into the library. I didn't want to see the hurt laced in his eyes, like tightly woven vines.

I also didn't want to remember last night.

But, the nausea waves in my stomach was too much of a reminder to forget.

Wait...Why do I keep feeling nausea?

Maybe it's just all the crying I've been doing. Or not eating. I don't know when the last time I've felt the need to eat. Or act like I was living.

I don't even feel all that alive right now. Even as I sit down in one of the armchairs, and picked up the last book I was reading before...Jenna fell sick with the virus.

Before she died.

Because of trying to protect me...And Gabriel.

I wonder what he is doing. If is alright? Or is he being tortured by Vaughn. Maybe Vaughn found out about our plan.

The sickening thought made me vomit a bit, in the back of my throat. I couldn't, and wouldn't stand the thought of that happening. It was only way out of here. For freedom.

But...

To see Linden's face, broken and shattered to pieces, I felt a part of me wanting to stay, a huge part of me. To make him happy.

And that shocked, and frighten me more then I would let on.

I had to make a choice before the end of the month though.

One that would change everything for the three of us. Linden, Gabriel, and I.

An Ivy of freedom.

Or a key-card of a soft heart.

The choice was mine for the taking...

And breaking.

TBC

A/N

I hope you all enjoy this chapter! And this story!

Thank you to all of you who has read this story. It means a lot.

Also, thank you to: buddyrox818 for the review and favorite! It meant a ton to me!