This is for you afmamabear. (: hope it's what you expected. To me, it sucks, but I have had serious writer's block lately.
Spoilers: Swan Song and Pyramid
Chapter 3: Sunday Bloody Sunday "I can't believe the news today
Oh, I can't close my eyes
And make it go away
How long...
How long must we sing this song
How long, how long...
'cause tonight...we can be as one
Tonight..."
Ziva couldn't understand. Why? How? It was Franks...a man she cared about, another, man that she cared about, gone. Like that.
She wasn't listening to the words that either Ducky or Gibbs were saying. Than she heard the "Swan Song" and all she had to do at the moment was leave. She couldn't take it. She had to get out of there.
"Excuse me." were the only words that she could utter. She, Ziva David, was upset by death, well, that did all change once she got back from Somalia, she faced it every day...but now, it was someone that she cared about. Now she felt, different.
She got into the elevator and took a deep breath. Her nerves were frayed and she was about to fall apart, just when he entered the elevator as well. She sighed, she felt comfortable to bear her emotions at the moment.
"There is always another monster." she said, her comment not only referring to the Port to Port killer, but every other deemed 'bad guy' that had ever encountered her.
"Yeah," was the only thing he could say to her. He knew that she was about break.
"I mean, we pursue them but we just keep making targets out of ourselves."
"Better us than someone who didn't sign up for it." she stared at the floor. All of her emotions were finally at the top. 'someone who didn't sign up for it' what did that mean?
"I don't think I can take anymore." she said and she made a bold move, a move that the old Ziva wouldn't dare to, she held onto him.
"Hey..we're going to get him...okay?" he held her fave in his hands. The doors opened to McGee and Abby partaking in the same comfort as Tony and Ziva were. "Bring it in." and with that, the close-knit group became one.
One to weep, one to mend, and one to kick Cobb's ass for killing their friend.
"Broken bottles under children's feet Sunday, Bloody Sunday
Bodies strewn across the dead end street
But I won't heed the battle call
It puts my back up
Puts my back up against the wall
Sunday, Bloody Sunday
Sunday, Bloody Sunday"
Tony could see it from a mile away. They were in a hole. All of them. Gibbs was full of rage. Abby was full of ...Abby. McGee was full of confusion. And Ziva, Ziva was full of suppressed sadness and confusion and anger and grief.
They pulled up the crime scene photos on the big screen. Franks' body, laying on the cold, wet cement. Tony couldn't pull his eyes from them. McGee was looking down and doing something on his computer. Tony heard a sharp intake of breath. Ziva turned around.
He felt like they were stuck. They couldn't get Cobb, where was he? No one knew, not Gibbs, not Vance, not even Kort.
He felt like his hands were tied and his back was against a cold stone wall.
"And the battle's just begun Sunday, Bloody Sunday
There's many lost, but tell me who has won
The trench is dug within our hearts
And mothers, children, brothers, sisters
Torn apart
Sunday, Bloody Sunday"
They were all there. All there when the body of Cobb was brought in to Ducky. It felt good to see the bastard on a slab, but in there hearts it felt worse.
Ziva stood there, watched as Ducky went over the usual stuff, cause of death, etc. She was staring at Cobb, Tony saw her pain. They all were conflicted.
'There's always another monster, another family without a son or a daughter. A empty space in your address book, an empty space in your heart' she played this sentence over and over. It was told to here when she had first joined Mossad, when her first partner was killed. It was told to her by Ari. She believed every word now.
"How long... Sunday, Bloody Sunday Wipe the tears from your eyes Sunday, Bloody Sunday (Sunday, Bloody Sunday)
How long must we sing this song
How long, how long...
'cause tonight...we can be as one
Tonight...tonight...
Sunday, Bloody Sunday
Wipe your tears away
Oh, wipe your tears away
Oh, wipe your tears away
(Sunday, Bloody Sunday)
Oh, wipe your blood shot eyes
(Sunday, Bloody Sunday)
Sunday, Bloody Sunday (Sunday, Bloody Sunday)"
Tony couldn't stop thinking about what happened with Ziva in the elevator.
"I don't think I can take anymore.." he couldn't stop hearing her voice. He knew she was upset, but, her tone was...exasperated. Resigned. Foreign.
He knew she wanted nothing then to move on, but he also knew that she didn't know how long she can keep up her stone cold assassin looks.
In the elevator all he wanted to do is to comfort her, tell her to not cry (Franks wouldn't want that) and that it was all going to be fine.
But who was he kidding...
And it's true we are immune (Sunday, Bloody Sunday)
When fact is fiction and TV reality
And today the millions cry
We eat and drink while tomorrow they die
It was three o'clock in the morning, a Sunday. She couldn't sleep. Ziva couldn't help but see him, Franks, on that cold metal slab as Ducky did his autopsy. She couldn't take it.
She got up, threw on some shorts, and got in her car. She didn't know where she was going, until she got there.
Tony's.
She went up the stairs and knocked rapidly on the door. She heard a thud and a curse, and then the door opened.
"Ziva." was all he had to say. She was on him in an instant. Just like that, hugging him, trying to compose herself. She couldn't help it. She felt, safe, in his arms. They stood like that for what seemed like hours. Holding each other in the doorway of his apartment. When she finally spoke, it was like a shot through silence.
"I was always taught that being immune to feelings after someone's death is the right thing to do. But now, I feel no immunity Tony. I feel hurt." he squeezed her tighter. "I expected to be able to see death, but go home and not feel a thing, but I am hurting Tony, I...do not know."
"I know Zee, I know." They stood that way for an hour. Holding each other. Crying together. It was then that they knew, no matter what they did. They couldn't stand around while people died and not feel a thing.
They were human after all.
That sucked. But yeah. Captainjojo don't worry, I did not forget about you! I'm just working on making sure I have the perfect Jibbs song. (: yours will be next, promise.