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Chapter 2 :
Right here, right now :
For a brief moment H.G stood there not knowing what to do or say to appease the situation. Had she not known Myka the way she did, she would have assumed that the panic in her friend's eyes was an indication that her feelings weren't shared and that Myka felt betrayed by such a revelation.
Fortunately, H.G knew Myka better than Myka knew herself and her instincts were telling her that the panic in her friend's eyes was actually fear, a paralyzing fear of her own feelings perhaps but most likely of the rather new and unexpected aspect of this whole situation and the only thing she could do to help her through it was to give her space and time to process.
"Don't worry Myka, I never expected you to say anything in return." Lowering her voice, H.G stood still and fought her hardest to resist the urge to make physical contact with Myka to try to comfort her.
"No, I want us to talk. I just need a minute to process." Myka's legs along with the rest of her body was still shaking, but somehow she found the strength to raise her head and give her friend a small but sincere grin.
"Good. Well, Leena told me I could stay at the B&B until the regents make their decision, so I was thinking I would drive there, take a shower and change clothes. The smell of the warehouse is rather overwhelming." Although, H.G had yet to smell apples , the smell that emanated from the shelves and artefacts somehow seemed to drawn her even deeper into the warehouse, and that was specifically what she was trying to avoid.
"I like it, it reminds me of my father's book store. Now come on, I'll drive you." Unable to sustain eye contact much longer, Myka took a few steps towards the car, pressed her thumb on the clicker to unlock it and opened the driver's door.
"You do know that I'm perfectly capable of driving your modern cars, right?" Of all the modern objects and amenities H.G had to familiarize herself with, the use cars was probably what she enjoyed and fascinated her the most.
"Yes, but I figured since every one is here at the warehouse, that the B&B would be empty and that we could talk without being disturbed." There was no doubt in Myka's mind that H.G was eager to explore what ever was going on between them a bit further so she was grateful that she was willing to give her space and time but she knew herself well enough to know that the longer they'd wait, the more likely she'd be to chicken out and run away.
"Alright then." Considering Myka body language still showed that she was as unsettled as she was a few minutes ago, H.G was impressed by her determination. Now, the only thing she could do was sit back and allow Myka to take control of the situation and simply follow her lead.
Being a follower was something H.G was never good at, if anything she was a charismatic leader who had always prided herself on defying authority every chance she got. She also applied that natural leadership to her love life and whether her lovers were men or women, she was always the one deciding of the terms of the relationship, perhaps as a way of simplifying things by showing them exactly what her expectations were but most importantly as a way of taking control of the situation, to avoid letting them in. In fact, her apparent confidence and bossy attitude were merely an armour she had been wearing for so long she barely knew how it felt not to be confined inside.
Unfortunately, in this particular situation, she had no choice but to pass the reins to Myka and most importantly to open her heart to her, to let her in, in a way she had never allowed herself to before.
By discussing her true feelings with Myka, H.G knew she was potentially exposing herself to the biggest heart break since her Christina had died but strangely the thought of Myka rejecting her and of having her heart ripped out off her chest wasn't so terrifying.
Actually, the thought of finally allowing herself to love and to be loved in return pretty much eclipsed every possible downsides and made it all worth it. She had spent over a hundred years bronzed, working on a plan to destroy the world but Myka's company had made her desire a different existence, one free of hatred, resentments and lies.
More than H.G Wells the 147 year old father of science fiction literature, warehouse 12 agent obsessed with time travel, who tried to destroyed the world, she wanted to be Helena, and even though she had yet to figure out what that entailed, she was determined to try her hardest, knowing that with Myka's by her side she could accomplish anything.
"Well, this is the bathroom, you can find clean towels in the cabinet underneath the sink, don't worry they're mine and Pete is under strict instructions not to use them, feel free to use my soap and shampoo as well." After a rather quiet drive back to the B&B, Myka gave H.G a quick tour of the B&B and of her room, where Leena had left her personal belongings, before escorting her to the bathroom.
"Thank you, I hope you don't mind If I indulge myself and stay longer than necessary, but I rather enjoy your modern bathing facilities."
"No, please take as much time as you need and enjoy it when it lasts. Pete spends at least half an hour in the shower every morning and considering how many people are living here, we often fall short on hot water."
"Well, I'm pretty handy, I'm sure I can fix that for you."
"That would be great." Myka was standing a couple of feet from H.G, she was nervously chewing on her bottom lip, her hands were shoved in the back pockets of her jeans, she was struggling to make eye contact and yet she couldn't bring herself to walk away.
"Good. Well, if you'd excuse me, I can hear the shower calling me, unless you wish you join me of course." That was certainly not the most subtile way to lighten the atmosphere but unfortunately the words slipped through H.G's teeth before she could censor herself.
"What? No, no. I was just..." Myka mumbled as she took a few steps back towards her bedroom, stroke by H.G's forwardness.
"It was a joke Myka, relax. I have no intention of jumping you, at least not just yet and certainly not like this." Obviously, H.G had no intention of making Myka's uncomfortable but those rather sexually explicit teases were part of who she was, of her seduction technique but she knew she'd have to unable them for the time being.
"I know. I will be in my room." Smiling nervously, her heart pounding the inside of her chest, Myka turned around and finally walked away towards her room.
In her young life, she had met many men she had found herself attracted to, but the effect H.G seemed to have one her was something completely new and as frightening as it was, it was also exciting.
For the next thirty minutes, Myka lied in bed, her eyes closed and her childhood teddy bear in her arms. For the first time in her life, she wasn't trying to prepare herself by coming up with different scenarios of how this conversation could unfold and prepare her responses accordingly.
For the first time in her life, she felt there was no need to, not only because H.G Wells was everything but predictable but mostly because also seemed to have that ability to destabilise her completely just by looking at her with those big brown eyes. When that happened, there was no thinking rationally, all she could do was jump right in and allow herself to be overwhelmed by the warmth of H.G's eyes.
Question was, was Myka willing to this, what ever this was, a real chance? Was she willing to expose herself to deception and pain again? Would the remorse of not taking that chances be worse than the regrets of doing so if H.G was ever to betray her again?
Right now, Myka didn't want to think about H.G betraying her again, she didn't want to be rational and weight the pros and cons of taking a chance. If she had learned anything since working at the warehouse it was that life was to short and the opportunities to find true happiness were too rare not to be seized.
"Please, come in." Myka said, as she suddenly snapped out of her contemplative state by the loud knock on her door.
"Well, that was... fun. I love that hair dryer thingy that blows both cold and hot air. I'm sure women in England must be very found of this invention." H.G said as she shyly entered Myka's room, her hands behind her back.
"Yes, the hair dryer can be very handy when the weather isn't warm enough to allow air drying or when you don't have time, please sit." Swallowing hard, trying to keep her composure, Myka sat straight up in bed, lifted her legs against her chest to leave enough room for H.G to sit close to her.
"Well..." By analyzing her body language H.G could easily see just how uncomfortable and frightened Myka still was and under other circumstances she would have broken the ice with a gentle touch or even a kiss but she knew that, in that particular situation, expressing her affection would have the opposite effect.
"So, when did you know?" Although there was no perfect way to start this conversation Myka was curious to find out when and how H.G had come to realize her feelings.
"Well, strangely the first time I felt that ... attraction was the second time we met when you pushed me against that wall and almost choked me to death, but it wasn't until I found myself incapable of killing you so I could destroy the world that I came to realize that what I was feeling was much more powerful and complex than a simple physical attraction." H.G replied, smiling at the memory of that second encounter and how despite knowing kempo, she had found herself so overwhelmed by Myka's charisma and aura that she remained paralyzed and unable to defend herself or even free herself from Myka's grasp.
"Funny you should say that, for me it was when I found myself unwilling to sacrifice you to save the world." This bond they shared had been forged under extreme circumstances, it couldn't be rationalized or even explained and it most certainly couldn't be ignored anymore, but maybe it was the way it was meant to be, intense, enduring, even painful.
"And let me guess, you first felt the physical attraction when I literally swept you off your feet and saved your life?" H.G jokingly replied as she slowly moved closer to Myka.
"And here we go again with the modesty." The truth was, H.G knew her better than she was willing to admit and while it might come handy and save them long and painful conversations, this ability H.G had to read her like an open book was unsettling and frightening. What if H.G didn't like what she read? What if the person she was deep down didn't leave up to the outside, to the person she had been to her so far?
"This has nothing to do with modesty, I'm just very much aware of the effect I have on women..." Modesty was certainly not her strong suit and now that Myka had confirmed the reciprocity of her feelings, she had every intention of taking things to the next level by being more straight forward and demonstrative, confident that Myka would slow her down if necessary.
"Right, I almost forgot you've been women before." Slightly uncomfortable, Myka tried her best to avoid H.G's gaze. How could she forget that H.G had once said that many of her lovers were men, implying that most of them were actually women. Myka had always been the smartest, most educated, most experienced in everything she ever accomplished but this time it was different. This time she was the newbie, the inexperienced one and she knew she'd have to let H.G guide her but was she ready or even willing to lose that control she held so dear and hand it over to H.G?
"It's true that I was rather adventurous in my youth but it doesn't matter now because not only it was literally over 100 years ago but most importantly because none of what I have experienced in the past can compare to what I'm experiencing with you, right here, right now." Looking in Myka's eyes, H.G was able to confirm her suspicions and establish that Myka had never been with a woman before. Far from being disconcerted, she simply moved a little closer to her, cupped her beautiful face with her right hand and started stroking her cheek with her thumb before leaning in to press her mouth against Myka's shaking lips.
Hi guys!
I hope you enjoyed this chapter and that you approve of the way I handle this conversation. Knowing those two characters I figured an explicite and overly romantic or fluffy conversation would be too OOC and that things needed to be more implied and a bit awkward.
As usual I'm open to suggestions and criticism.
Unlike for my other stories, I'm going to do my best to include stoylines from the show and to have the other characters participate instead of just focusing on their relationship.
I actually have a really good idea that involve Claudia and Helena that will surprise you.
As always feedback and ideas are more than welcome!