The bathroom doorknob rattled and clicked; the wooden door buckled and shook. Curled in a fetal position on the toilet, Audrey pressed her hands over her ears, desperate to block out the hideous cries of the beast outside.

"Master? Is everything okey-dokey in there? If you open the door, Momo can help."

This wasn't real. None of this was real! There was no such thing as monsters or ghosts or animal-people! Yes, there were fairies, and okay, space aliens existed too, but a little girl who looked and acted like a human-sized kitten?

"Master, are we playing hide-'n-go-seek? Master?"

Okay, so maybe this was the least improbable entry on her list of freaks, but she wasn't about to validate the existence of this clingy little monstrosity!

"It's all in my head," Audrey told herself. Mind over matter, right? All she had to do was go about her morning routine, not responding to or acknowledging the yowling cat-girl at her door. Fairies died if nobody believed in them, right? Maybe that Disney crap worked on cat-girls too. "Yeah, just ignore her."

The remote for her bedroom's surround sound system was still on the bathroom counter. Audrey switched on one of her classical playlists – a little Chopin to soothe her nerves – and went about prepping herself for the day.

In the mirror, a pale girl with black hair made her launch back in fright. Then she remembered.

Right, dyed my hair again. Raven black with streaks of soda pop blue framing her face, almost like she had a pair of horns curling down from her ears. Her fingers brushed the coloured streaks experimentally, wondering what she would look like with all-blue hair. Would Celeste like that?

Another knock at the door broke her reverie. "Maa-ster? Come find me, okay? This game's getting boring."

Audrey cranked the volume and dove in her grooming.

As much as she'd scoff otherwise, looks like hers didn't come naturally. On a good day, it took her at much as an hour to get ready, and that included showering, shaving her legs, plucking her eyebrows, moisturizing her skin and applying make-up, all with the delicacy and focus of an artist touching up her masterpiece canvas. Nobody gave you the time of day if you were frumpy and greasy. To Audrey, every day was the opening premiere of an opera, and the world expected its prima donna to look grand and glamorous beyond measure.

When she opened the door, ready to dazzle the world with her frilly, Lolita sundress and heels, the room was quiet and empty - only the crumpled blankets of her four-poster bed to greet her; only the April sunshine from the balcony invading her private chamber. Audrey nodded to herself, pleased that she'd willed away that hellion.

Big mistake. The cat-girl was squatting in front of her room's wall of fish tanks, tail swishing as she followed the colourful creatures gliding through the water.

"Momo's saying 'good morning' to your fishies, Master, but they're all super shy."

Audrey bit back the urge to scream. All good, Aud. Play it cool. There was nothing to rage about, because there was no one to get angry at. There was no need to scream, because there was no hungry brute threatening to turn her sea treasures into sushi. Mind over matter.

Still, she'd sure as hell do a head-count on her babies when she came back tonight.

She pushed through the double-vaulted doors of her bedroom and into a hallway of glittering chandeliers, gold-framed portraits and lavish, red carpets. Audrey brushed past the ostentatious decor without a second glance.

Nikki had asked her – that time she'd invited the nerd and her girlfriend over – why her family needed a home with so many rooms. "What do you even use them all for?"

Audrey had rolled her eyes. "It's for entertaining, duh." Was her father really supposed to impress all of his real estate clients and investors with some hovel of an apartment furnished with plastic chairs and video game posters?

Celeste, on the other hand, had been appropriately awestruck by the cavernous rooms and corridors. "This facility could easily house my entire village on Tendricide. Audrey, you must have a multitude of friends with which to share this with."

Caught off-guard, Audrey's tongue had stuck in her throat. A long and damning silence had followed.

"Of course I've got friends," she told herself now, but the empty echo of the hallways still surrounded her like mocking laughter.

Down the stairs, down three floors to the dining hall, where a buffet of pastries and breakfast foods greeted her with their warm aromas. She was about to dig in when a low, jolly voice at the table made her freeze: "Audrey! How's my little angel pie this morning?"

"Daddy?" What's he -? Audrey quickly arranged her face in the brightest, bubbliest smile possible. "Good morning, daddy bear! I thought you were still away on that business trip!"

The obese man at the head of the table laughed off her surprise, setting down his utensils to belch loudly and pour himself a liqueur from the beverage cart at his elbow. "Finished early, and I caught the red eye into town last night. I thought: breakfast with my little pumpkin – what could be better?"

"Oh daddy, you're so silly!" Shit, I don't smell like pot, do I? Audrey discreetly popped a stick of gum into her mouth and chewed vigorously before skipping over and greeting her father with a kiss. "Did you buy me that new dress I asked for?"

"Ordered and in transit, my angel pie."

"In transit? Daddy, now what am I supposed to wear this weekend?" Ugh, men really were useless. "Can I at least get some money to buy something, daddy bear? Oh, and I wanna change my hair again!"

Her father laughed like a simpleton as he rifled through his wallet. "If it's for my angel pie, how can I say no?"

You don't, Audrey snorted as she counted up the bills. Only a hundred? "Daddy, this isn't –" she stopped, interrupted by a new presence slamming the door behind her.

Fuck, not her.

Like a thundercloud on a picnic, the woman blocked off all good cheer. Dark hair withering with gray, and a weary, Asian face lined with stress and baggy eyes. She wasn't even dressed, just a loose-fitting nightgown and a robe flopping off one shoulder. No surprise as to why she'd left her room: the bottle dangling from her hand was empty.

Audrey busied herself gathering breakfast, while her father actually made an attempt at conversation. "Kasumi, good to see you're awake. How's the new painting?"

"Ripped it up… Wrong… all wrong…"

Audrey grimaced. The lazy bitch couldn't even make the effort to speak in a full sentence.

"Darling, Doctor McAlister said you should save your draft work."

"What does he know?" Her hand shot across the table for the scotch, only for the decanter to be pulled from her reach. Audrey's father coughed and pushed forward a small tumbler holding three enormous pills.

Kasumi glared at him with a childish petulance. "Fine." She threw back the cup of pills, chased them down with a gulp of water and stuck out her tongue to prove she wasn't hiding any. "Satisfied?"

Audrey followed the exchange stiffly and silently, wondering when her father was going to bring up the bug crawling over Kasumi's face. "What the hell happened to you? You've got something –"

Audrey stopped. 'Something' didn't do the great, black beetle justice. Easily the size of a smartphone, an unnatural red light pulsed from under its carapace, but Kasumi just went about pouring herself a drink as though it was a mole she'd grown accustomed to. From a distance, her cheek appeared to have sunk into a dark hollow. Her face had never looked more skull-like.

"You really aughta check your face. Just sayin'."

Kasumi scrunched in confusion but swiped anyway. Her fingers passed through the bug like it was nothing but shadow. Then, the woman had the gall to glare at her like she was the crazy one! "Can't stand cats… you know that," she muttered.

Cats? Audrey's eyes zipped towards daddy, who was laughing merrily as he dropped bits of his croissant into the delighted mouth of the friggin' cat-girl!

"Aren't you precious? Audrey, you never told me you got a cat!"

"Are you blind? That's a little girl!"

"Ah, so it's not a 'he'?" The kitten purred happily as her father scratched behind her ears.

"Take it away," Kasumi grimaced, forcing the beetle to reposition. Audrey was at her limit.

"What is wrong with you people? There's bugs crawling over your face; there's some freaky furry prancing around in a bathrobe; how are you all staying this calm?"

"Pumpkin, I'm not upset that you got a new pet. My angel pie can have as many animals as she wants; anything to make my little girl happy."

"I have sensitivities," Kasumi moaned.

I need a drink, Audrey thought. Before daddy could object, she helped herself to the scotch, and the strangest thing happened as she titled back her glass: The girl disappeared. With her luck it was just another damned trick of the light, but she had to be sure.

Normal look. The cat-girl squatted on the floor. Audrey raised her glass and looked through the curved surface. Gone.

No, not gone, just so much shorter. A proper kitten, one with whiskers, paws, and chocolate-brown fur now sat next to her father.

Glass down. Girl.

Glass up. Cat.

Everyone was staring at her. "Angel pie, are you -?"

"Fine! Just fine, daddy bear. Whoops, I've gotta get to campus now!" As she backpedaled, Audrey tucked the shot glass into her purse for safekeeping. "I'm taking the limo, daddy bear, okay? Thanks, love you, bye!"

She had no such goodbye for the woman who was her mother.

"Wait for me, Master!" Bloody hell, the cat-girl was following her straight to the garage!

"Campus!" she barked at the driver – it was the black guy today, and he didn't bat an eye as she slammed the back door in the face of a little animal-girl. Behind the limousine's tinted windows a sad kitten with warbling, amber eyes watched her speed off. The glass, something about the glass, Audrey realized. Fuck, did this mean she had to spend the rest of her life hiding behind lenses? She didn't care what the fashion world said about the hipster revival; she was so not putting up with eyeglasses.

Desperate for a sense of control, Audrey punched the number for the hair salon into her phone. "Hey Chico, I want my hair re-done! Coloured, cut – the works. Make it blue this time."

A tired sigh crackled through the receiver. "I have a name, you know. It's Kyanna, and I'm booked solid this weekend, Audrey."

"So cancel somebody! C'mon, if you do my hair right this time, I'll tip you mad money. Or have you already got enough diapers to last the month?"

A low growl. "Bitch, I am up to my eyes in stress right now. If you so much as mention my son, I swear I'll –"

"You'll what? You want your manager talking to you about another customer complaint, hmm?"

Another sigh, this one of resignation. "I'll text you the time, princess."

Kiarra (or whatever her name was) hung up first. That was different. What's crawled up her ass and gotten her so pissy? Audrey shrugged off the oddity and thumbed over to Tiffany's profile. Once more, the line directed her to voice mail.

"Screening your calls again? You've been a no-show all week; what's going on, Tiff? Look, call me, okay? I need to talk to someone normal."

That headache was returning with a vengeance.

As per routine, the driver let her off a couple blocks from campus. Audrey had learned to be selective about showing off her family's wealth. Designer clothes and shoes might get you mad attention, but start rolling up with fancy cars and hired help and suddenly everyone glared at you like you were living cancer.

When she barged out of the car, the world and all of its fucked up weirdness hit her hard.

Some dopey hipsters were playing hacky sack on the campus quad. A circle of bouncing, cartoony radishes were springing alongside the game. The veggies smiled maniacally as they sang cultic nursery rhymes:

"Das sind mir unbekannte blumen! Schneide sie ab! Schneide sie heraus!"

More dragonfly snakes buzzed around a crowd of stoners, perching on the tips of their bongs and inhaling the smoke like honeybees sucking nectar from flowers. Crows with stilt-sized legs were shadowing a group of girls carrying heavy textbooks, pecking needle-like beaks into their shadows. The campus was suddenly overrun by a parade of weird-ass cartoons from looney-land, and nobody seemed to give a shit!

"There's a freakin' Chinese dragon circling up in the sky," she ranted to whoever could hear. For God's sake, it was cherry red and sporting the most racist Fu Manchu moustache on its scaly lips. "Are you people all so stoned you can't see shit anymore?"

And there, on the other side of the lawn, staring and smiling at her like the world's most adorable stalker was –

"Master! Momo had to run super-duper hard to catch up, but here she is!"

Audrey had never felt more motivated to get to her physics lecture early. She tore into the engineering building, up stairwells and down hallways, and when she found the auditorium, she slammed the doors and barricaded it with her body. The terrified look on her face was mirrored by the bug-eyed panic of the Asian kid standing behind the teacher's podium.

"Who the fuck are you?" Audrey snapped. She didn't dare move, and neither did he. He tried to take a step back, but a flash of pain across his face kept him rooted to the spot. At least she assumed it was pain. The way he groaned and gripped at the podium, it was almost like he'd just -

Exhaling in relief, the boy spun, and Audrey's face contorted at the embarrassing sound of jeans being zipped up. No fucking way, did he just -?

"Belrose? That you?" An Asian woman in a suit jacket rose from behind the podium, weaving drunkenly as she adjusted her eyeglasses and wiped her mouth. "Huh, I guess I did leave that door unlocked."

"Y'think? Shit, how's walking in on you the most normal part of my day?"

Miss Yumi just shrugged, shameless as ever.

"Welp, introductions! Jeong-Yang, this is Audrey from my second-year class. Belrose – Jeong-Yang. He's one of our international students on scholarship. Say hello, Jeonny boy."

Instead of greeting Audrey, Jeong-Yang bolted out the closest door.

"Jeong-Yang needed some extra tutoring," Miss Yumi coughed, not that Audrey needed the cover story.

"Fucking awesome! He go down on you too?"

"His English is crap, but between you and me, that boy has a talent for oral presentations."

"Fuckin-A," Audrey crowed as she offered Miss Yumi a high-five. Now this was a teacher! Audrey could feel the stress of her crazy visions melting away in this comforting presence.

Aiko - she insisted Audrey use her first name off-hours - was the bomb. She smoked weed, she partied hard, and she fucked every guy she came across. Every girl too, if Aiko's boasting rang true. Plus, she got paid like a boss to stand around and read PowerPoint slides to a bunch of jaded college kids while she farmed out her marking to a teaching assistant. Aiko was living the good life, and Audrey could only dream of landing a gig just as sweet.

"So, you have fun last night, kid?"

"Gave a hand job to a Brazilian guy, got a new number," Audrey shrugged. The lies flowed so easily when she was with Aiko. The teacher never questioned or disapproved. "Say, you see anything weird today?"

"Like you getting to class early?"

"Pfft, never mind." Maybe everything was just in her head. "Hey, Aiko, got any more tips for picking up chicks? It's for my friend. You know, the barista who's so far in the closet it's not funny?"

"Hmm, this is the one who's going after a dom, right? Big trick with alpha dykes is to make them think they're in charge; that they're taking the initiative. Gets their lady-dicks all puffed up if they think you're a sweet, little virgin who's never had a good, rough lovin' before. Hmm, tell your friend she needs to get this girl to teach her something."

"What, like going over homework?"

"No, smartass. Okay, look - I went out with this Mexican chick the other month, but she was cold as ice to start, right? Then I got her to teach me all the dirty words in Spanish. Holy fuck, when I started whispering all those words back into her ear… ohh shit, I swear she was just aching to fuck me right then and there."

Teaching, huh? Audrey filed away that tidbit for later. "So what happened with this Mexican mama? C'mon, what happened after that?"

The auditorium door slammed shut, and a new voice, crisp and professional, added her own thoughts. "After that, Dr. Yumi, you naturally took it upon yourself to disclose your complete sexual history – including all STIs – and obtained clear and unambiguous consent from this partner before proceeding. Because anything less would be a contribution to the rape culture plaguing our society."

Like a teen girl caught out after curfew, Aiko paled.

Audrey rolled her eyes. Not this insufferable bitch again. The intruder was a black chick, skinny as a rail and flat as an ironing board, and compensating for her shitty bod with the stupidest hair and accessories this side of Nikki's sci-fi conventions. Sure enough, today her dreadlocks were bundled up in neon blue pigtails, while her eye contacts were coloured red and blue. The only consistent part was the bitch's hoity-toity attitude. Torn jeans complimented an off-the-shoulder top emblazoned with another social justice slogan. Today's billboard read #FuckColumbusDay.

Zoey gave their teacher a courteous nod, and a perfunctory one to Audrey. "Greetings, Doctor Yumi. Belrose."

"You know she needs a PhD to be a doctor, dumbass."

"Check your privilege, Belrose! If Ms. Yumi chooses to self-identify as a doctor, then you have no right to deny her preferred personhood. Isn't that correct, Dr. Yumi?"

"Huh? Oh y-yeah, absolutely!" The teacher bobbed her head compliantly, while she furiously wiped her palms on the back of her skirt. "Yeah, I'm all for empowering our identities!"

"Besides," Zoey continued, "with all of the institutionalized racism and sexist wage gaps plaguing this campus, it's nigh impossible for an Asian woman such as Dr. Yumi to obtain the financial opportunities to both support herself and further her education."

"You're so right, Zoey! Gotta fight the power! Right, Audrey?"

Ugh, that posh, know-it-all attitude. That calmly upturned lip. God, the urge to kick the ever-loving crap out of this smug, brown-nosing bitch was overpowering. "What're you doing here anyway? Sniffing out signatures for your latest crappy Internet petition?"

"I am here on a personal matter. Dr. Yumi, I have come to a new understanding of my gender: I am now a Class-3 cybernetic android. My pronouns are now thou and ye; as in, 'thou may go to the bathroom', or 'ye may answer the next question'. I trust this will not be an issue."

"Issue? Naw, naw, we're cool. Everything's cool! Uh, Zoey darling, that conversation earlier, I was just –"

"Dr. Yumi, the language you were using could encourage many vulnerable female students to put themselves in unsafe sexual situations." Zoey put on her most judgemental glare, and Audrey knew what was coming next.

Oh shit, bitch's bringin' out the 'P-word'.

"Dr. Yumi, your language was very problematic!"

OHH SNAP!

"Still," Zoey conceded, "it was only Belrose this time, and we all know she's a lost cause when it comes to preventing the spread of venereal diseases."

"Oh, fuck off."

"Nevertheless, you should take the time to re-educate yourself about various forms of consent. I think it would be most enriching for your career if you attended my next presentation at the campus Womyn's Center. Faculty support is always appreciated."

At this point, even a puppy cowering before a rolled-up newspaper had more dignity than Miss Yumi. "Yeah, yeah! Sign me up, Zoe! Us minority girls gotta stick together, right?"

Zoey rolled her eyes, but Miss Yumi's compliance seemed to satisfy her for now. Nodding firmly, she limped off to her preferred seat.

Fucking hell, even her walk has to be 'special'! The loud-mouthed turd always made a show of waddling like a stiff-legged penguin, because of course a 'cybernetic android' couldn't just walk around like a normal human being. Fucking snowflake.

"Yeah… great," Miss Yumi mumbled. "Sooo great, much thanks. I'm so screwed…"

Audrey offered up her purse flask but Miss Yumi declined, indicating her personal thermos packed with her strongest 'stress relief' medication.

"So, kid, what did you and our star student get up to last night? Got a very polite e-mail from Miss Honours Cheerleader telling me that she'd be missing class, and if I could forward all of the notes. You get her hammered or something?"

"What do I look like, Tiff's secretary?" Inside, Audrey's stomach sank. She told Miss Yumi, but not me? What the hell is going on?

Zoey gave a sharp, scornful laugh. "So Miss Maye will be absent yet again? How unfortunate. At this rate, even with all of her white privilege, she'll find it quite difficult to maintain her GPA. Perhaps her scholarships will be awarded to someone truly in need of equity."

Oh fuck off already! Audrey had a kraken-level torrent of swears ready to unleash, but the point was moot once the other students started filing in and drowning out her voice. Undeterred, she settled for pissing off Zoey with her mere presence, and took a seat in the 'cyborg's' row, making sure to spritz herself with the most pungent perfume in her handbag for maximum irritation.

Just a regular day of putting bitches in their place, Audrey assured herself. No weird-ass visions; this is purr-fe… perfect.

As usual, Miss Yumi's lecture was boring as hell, but at least today's class went by faster without Tiffany's constant stream of questions. Odd that she'd miss all those interruptions, Audrey reflected, but Tiff always asked something insightful and forced Miss Yumi to clarify her textbook mumblings. White privilege my ass. Tiffany could teach this class better than anyone!

Audrey's eyes wandered from the overhead projector to the tall windows beaming sunlight from the auditorium's upper walls. She could hear a tapping noise against the glass. Pigeons? Some asshole tossing rocks? She glanced up, and her body froze.

The friggin' cat-girl, pressing her nose against the glass and knock-knocking her fist on the pane! Audrey tried to play it cool, but their eyes had already met, and with a happy smile, the feline stalker started banging louder. Audrey's freaked-out face didn't go unnoticed.

"Stop looking at me," Zoey hissed from across the row.

Was that bitch pretentious and blind? "Why the fuck would I look at you?" Audrey whisper-hissed. Crap, now the cat-girl was pounding both fists for attention. "Cut that out!"

"Cut that -? Are you threatening me?"

"Not you, the other retard!"

"Belrose, that term is very proble-"

Audrey flipped her the bird. For Zoey, that was the last straw. The millennial sprang to her feet and waved her hand frantically.

"Dr. Yumi? Belrose is objectifying me! I'm feeling very unsafe around her! Please tell her to leave the class!"

Aiko rolled her eyes. "Hey, Red, you wanna quit ogling your classmate?"

"Why the hell would I be eye-fucking that bitch?"

"There, you see? She's denying my sexual appeal because I'm a person of colour! Dr. Yumi, you have to –" Zoey's hand flew over her heart. "Y-you have to –" Zoey swooned and buckled at the knees. A murmur of concern raced through the classroom as the millennial clutched her windpipe and started hyperventilating.

"Can't…. Can't breathe. I can't – Dr. Yumi, please! She – she's triggering me!"

The panic was serious now – students clambering from their desks and dialing their phones for help. Audrey just put a palm to her aching temple. Were people still buying this asthma attack bullshit?

As the classroom deteriorated into chaos, Miss Yumi quietly uncapped her thermos and gave herself a long and much-needed shot of self-medication. "God, I wish I had something stronger," she sighed. "Hey Red, how's about you go take a washroom break or something? Take five, or ten; hell, take the whole period."

Audrey gladly grabbed her gear and stood up, squeezing out of her row as a gaggle of Zoey's snowflake support group pressed in to coo and comfort the poor, oppressed child. Audrey imagined a sick grin across the black girl's face, but she didn't look back to confirm. The cat-girl had leapt out of the windowsill. She was coming after her again.

Leaving class was a stupid idea: the hallway outside the auditorium was lined with floor to ceiling windows. Audrey was a sitting duck out here. Walking briskly in search of cover, Audrey whipped out her phone and speed-dialed Nikki.

"Audrey? I'm at work, y'know."

"Nikki, you seen Tiffany? She's not in class today. Again." Something truly fucked up was going on, but Tiffany would know what to do.

"Um, no. I kinda think she wants some time alone after what happened. I mean –" A sudden pause. "Wait, you mean she didn't tell you?"

"Tell me what? What's going on, Nik?"

The nerd girl clammed up tighter than a virgin's legs. "Um, sorry, I'm not supposed to say anything. Um, I gotta go, so … yeah."

Click. Just what was going on here? Audrey tried calling the cheerleader again, and was redirected to voicemail. "Tiff, talk to me! What the hell is going on with –"

Audrey stopped. Not that she wanted to; oh, she wanted nothing more than to rant and rave at her so-called friend some more, but she was no longer capable of speaking. The dreaded chill emanating from across the hallway had paralyzed her jaw and her legs.

The black shadow silhouette stared her down once more.

"Not you," she whimpered into the phone. Even in broad daylight, with fresh sunlight streaming through the full-panel windows, the figure remained cold and black as death. This time, she could clearly see the greasy soot that made up its body; see how it spun and swirled like a thundercloud packed into a human shell, a storm on the move.

It was moving for her.

"Stay away, stay away!"

"Something the matter?" An older gentleman in a suit, approaching from the opposite direction. Shit, Audrey knew this guy. Dean Wormwood, one of the senior admin. He'd sat opposite the table when they'd forced her to repeat the whole story about the night at the frat house.

"It's after me! Can't you fucking see it?"

"Pardon me? Care to repeat yourself, young lady?"

Oh, wasn't this rich? A demonic abomination was stomping towards them both, and this geezer was getting triggered by her cuss words! You could probably hold this ass-hat up at knifepoint and he'd be scowling about the length of your mini-skirt! Now the shadow thing had marched up into Wormwood's face, and he had the nerve to keep staring at her like she was the monster!

"It's right there! In front of you!"

"In front of wh-UUH!" The shadow hoofed Wormwood in the crotch, and the man crumpled into a fetal position. Clearly this thing could make itself felt if not seen. Obstacle eliminated, it turned to her again.

"Get away!" Audrey ducked around the corner, where she plucked the metal canister from her handbag and sprayed a stream of bear mace at the monster's head for a sold five seconds. It didn't even flinch; if anything it seemed puzzled, tilting its head as to question why she was adding her atomized particles to its stormcloud body.

Irritated, it batted away her arm and ripped her purse from her shoulder.

"Hey, that's my stuff, you fucker!"

Its mouthless body roared at her with enough force to throw her to the ground. It raised its foot, ready to stomp her into submission, when –

"NYAA!"

A flash of brown fur and blue cloth leapt over Audrey's head and tackled the shadow to the ground.

Her stalker, the friggin' cat-girl.

Except now, the sickeningly-cute cosplayer had made a new transformation. She wasn't just a cat; she was an all-out animal, wild and vicious as she raked her nails through the shadow's vaporous body, tossing streams of dark energy left and right like she was digging out its entrails. She was disembowelling this shadowy motherfucker, and she was doing it all with a puffy blue bow tied to the tip of her tail.

Audrey didn't know whether to be impressed or terrified.

Writhing and roaring under the torment, the shadow relented. Its body slumped into a formless vapor that slithered frantically down the hallway, retreating like a cowardly snake. Audrey's purse, still caught in the tail end of its mass, bounced along the floor for the ride.

"Get back here, you meanie!" Bounding forward on all four limbs, the cat-girl chased the fleeing cloud to a grate in the wall, where it poured itself into the ventilation system like a mouse diving into its hole. Audrey's purse caught against the grate, and a small panic ensued as the shadow fought to pull its catch through. A snarling cat-girl batting at the metal cover convinced it to give up.

"Cheater," the cat-girl snapped, daring the monster to come out and face her again.

After half a minute of her posturing, she grew bored and gave up. Chomping down on Audrey's designer handbag, she skittered back on all fours and spat the chewed-up leather at her feet. Audrey cringed, but she didn't dare put her fingers within reach of the little hell-spawn, this demon in kitten's clothing. The cat-girl smiled sweetly, her fingers black with the shadowy residue she'd dug from the silhouette's abdomen. Any fool who saw her now would assume the little cutie had been scooping up handfuls of blackberry jam.

She could rip me apart and draw finger-paintings with my bloody guts, Audrey realized, and yet the damn thing just kept smiling at her!

"That was scary, Master! You aughta be more careful. Momo's had ta rescue you two whole times now, and you're super heavy t'carry."

Audrey snatched up her purse and pulled out her shot glass. She held it to her eye. Cat-girl. Cat. Cat-girl. Cat, but no matter the form, the creature kept those golden-almond eyes that smiled at her with such adoration.

Audrey sighed and stowed away the glass. "Cutting it a little close there, dumbass! That thing was gonna stomp out my teeth!"

"You'd be smooshy like jelly," the creature agreed.

"Well don't just sit there waiting for someone to scratch your ass. C'mon!"

"Nyaa? Where're we going, Master?"

"They don't allow animals on campus, fuzz-for-brains, so we're going to the park." She spun around. "What the fuck do I call you, anyway?"

"Momo!" the cat-girl chirped. "Momo's name is Momo!"

"Momo. Ugh, whatever. Just get moving!"

Audrey needed some answers, and this 'Momo' kid had a whole lot of explaining to do.