Chapter Two

He looked awful. All his good looks had vanished completely. His face was wrinkly, and saggy. He never did fulfill his dreams of being a famous artist, musician, or dancer. His appreciation for such was undermined by those who didn't have half the talent he did.

Squidward Tentacles lived in Mid-Town, Bikini Bottom all by himself. His peculiar home was once a rock made to look like a squid, but had withered away like ole' Squiddy himself. Squidward thought he might be glad when Spongebob and Patrick moved away, but he was not. He was sad and lonely. He tried painting, but the silence drove him crazy. He couldn't complete a single painting. So, he tried music. But with things so quiet, he realized how terrible he was, although he'll never admit it. And he tried dance, but the poor old man couldn't perform like he used to.

Squidward had lost everything he ever loved in life. Now, he sat in front of the television all day. He remembers when he watched "Bikini Burgers with Spongebob Squarepants". He remembers how jealous he was. He could cook a fine casserole, if he didn't say so himself. He had a much more acquired taste, unlike Spongebob, who only knew Krabby Patties and cereal.

He had even turned out worse than Patrick Star. Patrick Star was a complete idiot, and yet found out to make a living with people thinking his intelligence was brilliant. He taught Wumbology at the Bikini Bottom University. Squidward remembers being held in Patrick's hands while Patrick ranted on and on about Wumbology and how Squidward thought Patrick was so stupid. He wanted to kill himself.

"I wumbo, you wumbo, he/she/we wumbo! Wumboing, wumbology, the study of wumbo! Gosh Spongebob, it's first grade!" He exclaims, clearly disappointed in his friend. Squidward truly thought he had died and gone to hell.

Squidward had nothing, nothing to look forward to, nothing to care about. Everyone in Bikini Bottom hated him. They called him Old Man Squirdturd. It was embarrassing. All the kids laughed at him, and he was too afraid to come into town. He was broke, and Krabs fired him long ago. So Squidward became a hermit.

Squidward had even contemplated suicide. What was there left to live for? Everything he had aspired didn't work out and everyone in his life hated him. Except Spongebob. Spongebob never tried to do bad to Squidward but Squidward kicked him to the curb and spat on their odd interpretation of a friendship. He had told Spongebob to get away and he hated him. He told Spongebob he never wanted to see him again.

Squidward felt bad, because now, he was truly alone. He still blamed Spongebob for why they fell out, so he didn't feel guilty about being a jerk. Squidward would cry himself to sleep, hating himself, hating the world, and hating everyone and everything.

Today, Squidward needed to go into Mid-Town. The Chum Bucket was hiring, and Squidward would take any job that would take him. He could barely afford to feed himself and had sold every painting he owned. He couldn't sell them for much, but he barely got by. Squidward didn't have a car, so he had to walk to town, whilst every agonizing step made him contemplate going anywhere.

Mid-Town was empty and lonely. He was one of the only people that actually owned houses there. There was so little to do, and no one to talk to, he'd gone mad in his creative brain. Squidward sometimes imagined people. He imagine people talking to him. They told him mean things. And sometimes, a really nice lady would appear and tell him that she loved him. She gave him hugs and kisses and she didn't mind his body at all. She was so beautiful, and Squidward felt lucky to have her, even though he sort of knew she wasn't real.

Squidward bumped into a large metal object and he cursed explicit words at it. He looked more clearly at the object that was much larger than him, and realized that it was The Chum Bucket he had shouted at. Squidward's head ached and he sighed miserably.

Squidward waltzed in with a smile on his face that wasn't real. He heard a soft noise yell and he looked around to find it. "Hey you! You imbecile! Down here!" Squidward looked down and saw a tiny green spec talking to him. Squidward nearly forgotten that if he were to work at the Chum Bucket, he'd be serving a moldy grain of salt named Plankton.

"Well, hello sir. My name is Squidward Tentacles and I'm-"

"Yeah, yeah. I know who you are, Squirdturd... You need a job, you're hired." Plankton yelled.

"And what position would I be participating in?" Squidward asks kindly, even though through all his anger and rage, he wanted to smash Plankton and wipe his guts across the floor. He contained himself.

"You'll man the cash register while I stay in the kitchen and make some chum." When Plankton said he'd make chum, he literally meant it.

"Mr. Plankton sir, I'm very appreciative for the job, I just wonder, what made you search for a position. I'd like to know if I can live up to being as well as the worker before me." Squidward said kindly. Being so kind wasn't really something Squidward was used to, but he'd have to be a suck-up if he wanted the job.

"You'll never be as good as the one before you." Plankton says softly.

"And how so? I'm a very good performer with years of experience. I'm sure I can manage a little-" Squidward is cut off by Plankton's raging scream.

"Karen! Karen was the one before you! But her motherboard crashed! The graphics card failed and she's gone now! Dead forever!" Squidward could hear the pain in Plankton's voice as he talked about his wife who left him a widow. Squidward almost felt bad for Plankton, but then again, not so much.

Squidward continued his butt-kissing with Plankton, and what was supposed to be him getting a job, turned into him gaining a friend. "Sorry sir, but I'm busy on Saturday." Squidward says, lying, trying not to sound desperate."

"What about Sunday, then?" Plankton asks.

"Sounds like a plan." Squidward accepts, with a hint of happiness in his voice.

"Sunday at two?"

"Who could resist?" Squidward says, smiling for the first time years.