This isn't meant to be a depressing story though the Lost Boy topics aren't the most pleasant. But I needed something that Vala could relate to in a very visceral way and get Landry to introduce Dr. Graham to the mix.
Vala had decided to set two personal goals for herself after watching a self-help author on one of the many TV talk shows she watched. In fact, watching more talk shows on TV was number one on her list of things to do to achieve her first goal. That was to learn more about the Tauri, their planet & their many cultures. It had taken her more than a little time and a lot of reading to even start to understand this planet. There were so many varied places on the Earth with different cultures, peoples, societies, politics, and religions and so on. It was as if Earth was a planet that contained a multitude of other planets. In her experience planets tended to be more homogeneous. Though the Goa'uld might have controlled a planet their culture rarely affected the basic structure of life on that planet. Usually all the cultures on an agrarian planet were agrarian societies. On trade planets everyone was involved in trading. People on mining planets mined. Perhaps it was because the Goa'uld had populated each planet with a single group of people with the same society or culture. Over the years groups may have splintered off but their roots remained the same.
Vala was also realizing how different her experience on Earth would have been if she had arrived in another country. For a long time she had equated Earth with America. When watching television she had begun to catch glimpses of those parts of the planet that were not America. It seemed that the differences had nothing to do with the Stargate. The Americans knew no more about the SGC than the people in any other country. She was convinced that she had been fortunate to end up in this America. But she was fascinated by the other different Earth places she heard about.
Her second goal involved Daniel and Vala thought it could only be helped by her integration into Tau'ri culture, or as she had to remind herself, American culture. Though she was discovering that even this one country seemed at times to be many different countries all at one time.
Vala had been flipping though the channels when she heard the host of a show say that they would be speaking with one of the "Lost Boys of Sudan" after the commercial. Vala immediately thought of Peter Pan and the Lost Boys of Neverland and stayed on the channel waiting for the interview to start.
It turned out that these "Lost Boys" were survivors of the Sudanese Civil War, orphans whose families had been killed by Government troops. The young boys made their way to refugee camps in Kenya and Ethiopia, often taking years to get there walking hundreds of miles through the African wilderness. They had been named after the Peter Pan's group of orphans. Though dismayed by their suffering she was pleased to hear about those who had managed to escape.
Vala was interested in their plight and began to read about these "Lost Boys". Her friends at the Public Library recommended books, films, and other sources of information. She would also search for information on the Internet. It was a depressing subject and an inspiring subject, some people made it out of their horrible existence. That spoke to Vala on a very personal level.
On the morning of the day when she ended up screaming at General Landry, things changed. Vala had been focusing on what she thought of as her "Lost Boys" but that day she had broadened her search and discovered another group of children.
They weren't "Lost Boys" who lived through Hell but made it out, they were "Child Soldiers". Children forced to fight in armies, sometimes forced to commit atrocities even against their own families. Often given drugs to force their compliance the children were easy to manipulate and cheap. The children weren't paid and were easily replaced.
The more she read the worse she felt. After the first hour she had trouble reading through her tears. Though it seemed most of these child soldiers fought in Africa she was shocked to see references to children fighting in countries on all of the continents. She felt compelled to continue reading. Vala understood now what Cameron meant about not being able to look away from a train wreck.
Vala was angry, scared, and shocked. She tore herself away from the images on her computer screen and ran out of her room. Vala couldn't contain her rage, she had to find Daniel. Vala knew that she would start to breathe again once she saw him. Daniel was her anchor, her connection to all that was good. In her world, in her life and in her heart. Daniel was her home.
Vala had decided that after chocolate her favorite English word was "home". In her life (or perhaps lives) Vala had learned that where you lived physically meant nothing. She had been a god, a slave, a criminal and more. Lived in palaces, spaceships and cells. Vala often found inspiration in Earth phrases that were considered platitudes by many. But she knew that a house was not a home. She had pushed her desire to belong somewhere deep inside. Vala had stopped believing that she would ever find a home, or that she deserved a home. She had been betrayed and she had betrayed. She had long ago decided that her behavior was unforgivable and so there was no reason to think about her guilt. In order to function she had learned to ignore and suppress her deepest feelings.
Vala threw open Daniel's door. She felt herself panic, thinking that if she couldn't find him the world would collapse around her and she would be "lost" herself.
Later that afternoon she was glad that she had ended up in General Landry's office. It would have been too easy to find solace and comfort in Daniel. He would have held her and reassured her that all would be right in the world. But it wasn't and she would have been a coward if she had refused to face the realities of her new world. Vala accepted her many faults and flaws, but cowardice had never been one of them. Perhaps she stretched it into recklessness and disregard for her own safety, but that would be part of another flaw. One she felt that she shared with Daniel. Thinking about Daniel brought her comfort but her meeting with Dr. Graham had brought direction to her fear and anger.
Dr. Graham had arrived in Landry's office while they were eating. Landry introduced him to Vala while she continued to eat. Vala enjoyed eating, the simple fact that she had food to eat, leant real enthusiasm to a function considered commonplace to the people at SGC.
"Thomas I would like you to meet Miss Vala Mal Doran. Miss Mal Doran this is Dr. Graham."
Vala smiled at Thomas and focused all of her attention on connecting with him. He understood how she could so easily con and manipulate people. It wasn't a fake smile, she really was happy to meet him and her enthusiasm for life made him respond in kind. He had read her file and was excited about spending time with her. Not as a patient but as an individual. Landry had explained to him on the phone that he wasn't asking for psychiatric treatment for Vala he wanted Thomas to help her find answers. He was looking forward to discovering the questions.
"Miss Mal Doran I am very happy to meet you. I have..."
She interrupted him "Please call me Vala."
"Only if you call me Thomas."
When the man had walked into Landry's office Vala was surprised at how young he was. Feeling as if she was reading a fortune cookie she would describe him as "Tall, dark and handsome". Not as handsome as her Daniel but taller, darker and younger. He had a scruffy, almost, beard like Daniel had when she first arrived on Earth. Vala had discovered that it was actually what they called a "fashion statement" for most men. She suspected that Daniel had just forgotten to shave for a week or three. Though she also suspected that Daniel was not without vanity.
On Thomas it was obviously a choice. Vala had seen enough magazines ads to recognize that he bought his clothes somewhere other than the local mall. She liked to see flair and style in people's appearance, something sorely lacking around a military base. When he returned her smile she felt an immediate connection.
As they shook hands Landry smiled at both of them. He was pleased with himself and felt as if he was involved at the start of something good.
"Well, Thomas" said Vala. "Do we head back to your office so you can get me on your couch?"
He laughed and said "As much as that appeals to me, which it does, you are not my patient. So I'm sad to say that means no couch."
Vala quipped "I think that my not being a patient means we don't rule out any furniture. Couches, chairs, beds!" She was enjoying flirting with Thomas but it wasn't as much fun as flirting with Daniel. There was no chance that she could disconcert this man, let alone make him blush. But it was enjoyable just the same.
"Vala, I think that we will be comfortable in my office. If that's okay with you we can get out of the General's way and head down to my neck of the woods." He noticed Vala's slightly confused look and clarified his statement. "Down to my area of SGC."
"Sounds fantastic! You'll have to explain the necking in the woods part later."
Thomas took Vala's arm and they left the office. Thomas had closed the door when he entered Landry's office and Walter hadn't been able to hear anything the three of them had said. But he heard laughter and when Vala and Dr. Graham came out of the room they were both smiling and General Landry was laughing at the last thing Vala had said.
Vala smiled at Walter saying "Thank you so much for the lovely food, Walter. You managed to bring a large number of my most favorite treats."
Walter managed a quiet "You're welcome." And then they were gone.
Once the General was back in his office Walter slowly let out his breath. Walter was intrigued. Dr. Thomas Graham was their top civilian psychiatrist. He had been brought in recently to supervise a major research study at SGC but he also continued to work at major universities throughout the country. Gossip was that he was smart, nice, gorgeous but "taken."