AND MORE! I already have a few chapters typed, so you'll get a lot of this very, very, VERY fast.

It's still not mine, unfortunately.

Now... just read.

Chapter 2: Chapter 1: I Accidentally Vaporize my Pre-Algebra Teacher

Mack's POV

As soon as I heard the chapter name, I burst out laughing.

Amid my peals of laughter, I heard that weird skinny kid- Leo, maybe?- ask, "Are all of the chapter names gonna be that ridiculous?"

Mr. Blofis checked the table of contents, then nodded.

Leo turned to Percy with respect in his eyes. "Well, done, Perce."

Percy grinned at him, making my insides melt (yes, of course I have a crush on Percy, who doesn't? [Besides Kaitlyn, of course- that girl is strange…] That stupid blondie better make way for Mack!). "You bet, Flaming Valdez."

Leo grinned. ("Flaming Valdez? What kind of a nickname is that?)

Mr. Blofis cleared his throat before continuing.

"Look, I didn't want to be a half-blood."

The girl with the spiky hair and punk clothes snorted. "No one does, Perce."

I pondered this. Being a half-blood seemed like a pretty good deal. Why wouldn't they want to be children of gods and have cool powers?

"If you're reading this because you think you might be one, my advice is:"

"Duck and cover!" the emo kid, Nico, cried. Almost immediately, all of the demigods hit the deck. Bewildered, I glanced at the gods (GODS! I can still hardly believe it… although Percy is pretty incredible, so it makes sense). They were all snickering and giggling.

"Um, why are you all on the floor?" I asked the demigods.

"Percy's giving advice!" a girl with choppy brown hair braided with a feather cried. She was really beautiful, even though she seemed to be trying to play it down. "Percy gives TERRIBLE advice!"

Mr. Blofis rolled his eyes before continuing.

"Close this book right now. Believe whatever lie your mom or dad told you about your birth, and try to live a normal life."

The demigods looked up in shock.

A blonde boy with startling blue eyes (just like that punk girl's; I think they're siblings, but they look almost nothing alike) looked incredulous. "He gave good advice," he mumbled in shock.

Percy rolled his eyes. "I can give good advice sometimes, Jason."

The punk girl (blonde-hair blue-eyed boy's sister) laughed. "Yeah, well, too bad this never works." She quieted her voice to a whisper. "After you realize, you can't go back."

All of the demigods nodded in agreement.

"Being a half-blood is dangerous. It's scary. Most of the time, it gets you killed in painful, nasty ways."

Ah. So that's why they wish they weren't demigods (or half-bloods, whatever, I don't care).

"If you're a normal kid, reading this because you think it's fiction, great. Read on. I envy you for being able to believe that none of this ever happened. But if you recognize yourself in these pages- if you feel something stirring inside- stop reading immediately. You might be one of us. And once you know that, it's only a matter of time before they sense it too, and they'll come for you. Don't say I didn't warn you."

"You didn't warn me," Nico said, whining slightly. Percy sent him a glare. He whitened (I didn't know that was possible, he was paler than a vampire to begin with) and looked away.

"My name is Percy Jackson."

"No way, Sherlock!" the punk girl exclaimed.

Percy sent a glare her way. "Watch it Grace." So Grace is her name… huh. It doesn't suit her. Or is it her last name? I think it is. I think her name starts with a "T".

"I'm twelve years old. Until a few months ago, I was a boarding student at Yancy Academy, a private school for troubled kids in upstate New York. Am I a troubled kid?"

"YES!" the whole class yelled. So did all of the demigods and even a few gods. Percy grinned. We knew him so well.

"Yeah. You could say that."

That Leo kid took out a notebook and pen from an odd toolbelt around his waist and spoke what he was writing aloud: "Percy… admits… to… being… a… troubled… kid… on…" He paused to check the date, then wrote it down. Percy shook his head in amusement.

"I never denied being a troubled kid," he said to the room.

Everyone smirked at him.

"I could start at any point in my short miserable life to prove it, but things really started going bad last May, when our sixth-grade class took a field trip to Manhattan- twenty-eight mental-case kids and two teachers on a yellow school bus, heading to the Metropolitan Museum of Art to look at Ancient Greek and Roman stuff."

The grey-eyed woman with the dark hair nodded in approval. The blondie, Annabel or something (curse you for stealing Percy away, dumb blondie!), just smiled.

"I know- it sounds like torture."

Now the grey-eyed lady (she had to be Athena) was glaring at Percy like she wanted nothing more than to tear him to shreds. The blondie was hiding her laughter.

"Most Yancy field trips were. But Mr Brunner, our Latin teacher, was leading this trip, so I had hopes."

Percy grinned. "And here's where Chiron makes his debut."

The man in the wheelchair dipped his head. He must have been Chiron.

"Mr. Brunner was this middle-aged guy in a motorized wheelchair. He had thinning hair and a scruffy beard and a frayed tweed jacket, which always smelled like coffee. You wouldn't think he'd be cool, but he told us stories and jokes and let us play games in class. He also had this awesome collection of Roman armor and weapons, so he was the only teacher whose class didn't put me to sleep."

"And here comes the explosion," I heard Percy mutter.

"You SLEEP in CLASS!?" Athena yelled. She looked murderous.

Percy coughed. "Moving on."

"I hoped the trip would be okay. At least, I hoped that for once I wouldn't get in trouble."

A girl with dark skin, golden eyes and curly hair the color of cinnamon shook her head and smiled softly. "That'll happen, Perce." She seemed pretty young, like around thirteen or something, unlike the others, who were around sixteen and seventeen.

"Boy, was I wrong."

The girl grinned wider. Her eyes glittered. "Told ya."

"Yeah, yeah, Hazel, we get it," Percy grumbled.

Hazel.

"So you were right once, Levesque! Whatever!" Leo yelled.

Hazel Levesque stuck her tongue out at him.

"See, bad things happen to me on field trips. Like at my fifth-grade school, when we went to the Saratoga battlefield, I had this accident with a Revolutionary War cannon. I wasn't aiming for the school bus, but of course I got expelled anyway."

Three boys were rolling around on the floor, laughing uncontrollably. Two looked awfully similar, but the third was Hispanic. However, the three had identical expressions of absolute delight at finding out something so ridiculous.

"Oh, shut up," Percy muttered.

"And before that, at my fourth-grade school, when we took a behind-the-scenes tour of the Marine World shark pool, I sort of hit the wrong lever on the catwalk and our class took an unplanned swim."

If the sons of Hermes were laughing before, it was nothing compared to now. They were joined by a hysterical Leo. In fact, everyone was laughing, even the gods. However, only the sons of Hermes and Leo were on the floor.

"And the time before that… Well, you get the idea."

"NO!" everyone cried.

Percy shrugged. His eyes sparkled like the sea on a sunny day. I wanted to drown myself in them.

"That's all, folks," he said, miming tipping his hat.

More laughter.

Finally, it was quiet enough for an exasperated Mr. Blofis to continue reading.

"This trip, I was determined to be good."

"Sure you were, Perce," a bulky Chinese dude said, shaking his head.

Percy grinned. "I always am, Frank. Trouble just seems to find me."

"All the way into the city, I put up with Nancy Bobofit, the freckly, redheaded kleptomaniac girl, hitting my best friend Grover in the back of the head with chunks of peanut butter-and-ketchup sandwich."

"How dare she!" growled the punk girl. "You better tear her to shreds, Percy!"

A boy with curly hair and a rasta-style cap shook his head. "It's okay," he said.

So he's Grover, I thought to myself.

"Grover was an easy target. He was scrawny."

Grover rolled his eyes. "Loving the description, dude."

"Sorry G-man, but I didn't know why!" Percy exclaimed, defending himself.

Grover just sniffled derisively.

The punk girl grinned. "Yeah, goat boy, you should forgive your best friend for being an ignorant male."

Percy's eyes widened. "I am hurt, Thalia!" he exclaimed (Thalia! That was it!), putting a hand to his chest.

Thalia rolled her eyes and snorted.

"He cried when he got frustrated."

"I do not!" Grover dried indignantly.

"Not anymore, but you used to, back in sixth grade," Percy replied.

"He must've been held back several grades,"

"I was right about that," Percy said with a smile, "only for the wrong reasons."

"because he was the only sixth grader with acne and the start of a wispy beard on his chin. On top of all that, he was crippled."

"I feel so loved," Grover said huffily.

Blondie grinned. "You are loved, Grover. We're just bad at showing our affection."

Grover snorted. "Sure, Annabeth." Oh! So Annabeth was her name. Weird. "You and Percy have so much trouble showing your affection."

Annabeth smiled and looked at Percy with loving eyes. He returned her gaze.

Barf! Too much lovey-dovey stuff! I didn't think Percy would be all sweet with girls. It must be torture for him!

"He had a note excusing him from PE for the rest of his life because he had some kind of muscular disease in his legs. He walked funny, like every step hurt him, but don't let that fool you. You should've seen him run when it was enchilada day in the cafeteria."

"And there goes your cover, Grover," said a girl with straight blonde hair in pigtails, large blue eyes, and braces. Surprisingly, she was really pretty.

Grover turned red and muttered, "Shut up, Lacy."

"Anyway, Nancy Bobofit was throwing wads of sandwich that stuck in his curly brown hair, and she knew I couldn't do anything back to her because I was already on probation. The headmaster had threatened me with death…"

Gasps were heard around the room.

"…by in-school suspension if anything bad, embarrassing, or even mildly entertaining happened on this trip."

"That's not death!" Adrien cried.

"Don't worry us like that, Percy!" Kaitlyn said pleadingly.

Percy laughed. "I was twelve. Back then, in-school suspension was synonymous with death."

One of the nearly identical children of Hermes gasped theatrically. "Percy used a big word! We need to throw a party!"

Percy glared at him. He shut up.

""I'm going to kill her," I mumbled. Grover tried to calm me down. "It's okay. I like peanut butter.""

"Nice try, dude," a good-looking boy with brown hair and hazel eyes said.

The Cherokee girl with the feather in her hair frowned. "At least he tried, Mitchell."

Mitchell grinned. "Whatever you say, Piper."

"He dodged another piece of Nancy's lunch. "That's it." I started to get up, but Grover pulled me back to my seat."

"Don't hold him back, Grover!" a buff girl with stringy brown hair cried.

All of the demigods and gods, plus Chiron and Grover, stared at her incredulously.

"Clarisse, you care," Grover said in a touched voice.

Clarisse turned red. "I do not! But there's no fighting, I'm bored!"

Percy grinned. "Sure, Clarisse. Sure."

""You're already on probation," he reminded me. "You know who'll get blamed if anything happens." Looking back on it, I wish I'd decked Nancy Bobofit right then and there."

"We wish you had, too," Thalia said darkly.

"In-school suspension would've been nothing compared to the mess I was about to get myself into."

There was silence.

"I hate foreshadowing," Nico mumbled.

"Mr. Brunner led the museum tour. He rode up front in his wheelchair, guiding us through the big echoey galleries, past marble statues and glass cases full of really old black-and-orange pottery. It blew my mind that this stuff had survived for two thousand, three thousand years."

"Longer," the gods said, speaking in unison. They all smiled at each other, even Hades. It occurred to me that they probably didn't agree on much, so this was unusual.

"He gathered us around a thirteen-foot-tall stone column with a big sphinx on the top, and started telling us how it was a grave marker, a stele, for a girl about our age. He told us about the carvings on the sides. I was trying to listen to what he had to say, because it was kind of interesting,"

"Percy… you were listening in school?" Annabeth asked in a mockingly awed voice.

"Shut up, Wise Girl," Percy replied.

"I'm so proud of you, Seaweed Brain!"

"Knock it off," Percy muttered, but he was grinning. If someone else was teasing him like this, even if it was me, he'd be mad. What made her so special?

Leo grinned. "I'm sure it was only a one-time thing, Annabeth."

"but everybody around me was talking, and every time I told them to shut up, the other teacher chaperone, Mrs. Dodds, would give me the evil eye."

Grover, Annabeth, and Percy all shivered.

"I hated her," Percy muttered.

"Alecto?" Nico asked sympathetically.

Grover, Annabeth, and Percy all nodded.

"Mrs. Dodds was this little math teacher from Georgia who always wore a black leather jacket, even though she was fifty years old. She looked mean enough to ride a Harley right into your locker. She had come to Yancy halfway through the year, when our last math teacher had a nervous breakdown."

"Nervous breakdown," Percy said with a snarl. "If he left because of a nervous breakdown, then I'm immortal."

Grover nodded in agreement.

"From her first day, Mrs. Dodds loved Nancy Bobofit and figured I was devil spawn. She would point her crooked finger at me and say, "Now, honey," real sweet, and I knew I was going to get after-school detention for a month."

"Monster," a girl with soil brown hair and green eyes said.

All of the other demigods hastened to agree.

"One time, after she'd made me erase answers out of old math workbooks until midnight, I told Grover I didn't think Mrs. Dodds was human. He looked at me, real serious, and said, "You're absolutely right.""

"Oh, way to blow your cover, Grover," Annabeth said.

"Mr. Brunner kept talking about Greek funeral art. Finally, Nancy Bobofit snickered something about the naked guy on the stele, and I turned around and said, "Will you shut up?" It came out louder than I meant it to."

"Of course it did," hot blue-eyed guy, Jason (who is nowhere near as hot as Percy), said with a laugh.

Percy laughed, too. "It always does, Grace."

I knew he was Thalia's brother!

"The whole group laughed. Mr. Brunner stopped his story. "Mr. Jackson," he said, "did you have a comment?" My face was totally red. I said, "No, sir." Mr. Brunner pointed to one of the pictures on the stele. "Perhaps you'll tell us what this picture represents?" I looked at the carving, and felt a flush of relief, because I actually recognized it. "That's Kronos eating his kids, right?""

Zeus, Poseidon, Hades, Hera, and Demeter all groaned.

"Of course," Poseidon muttered. He looked just like Percy, only older and with more smile lines around his eyes.

""Yes," Mr. Brunner said, obviously not satisfied. "And he did this because ..." "Well..." I racked my brain to remember. "Kronos was the king god, and-""

"GOD!?" Zeus roared. The air crackled with electricity and the smell of ozone overcame all others

""God?" Mr. Brunner asked. "Titan," I corrected myself."

Zeus sniffed. The air stopped crackling. The smell of ozone faded away. "He was not a god," he muttered.

""And ... he didn't trust his kids, who were the gods. So, um, Kronos ate them, right? But his wife hid baby Zeus, and gave Kronos a rock to eat instead. And later, when Zeus grew up, he tricked his dad, Kronos, into barfing up his brothers and sisters-" "Eeew!" said one of the girls behind me. "-and so there was this big fight between the gods and the Titans," I continued, "and the gods won.""

Annabeth laughed. "Nice summary, Seaweed Brain."

Athena was stunned. "You just summarized the deadliest war in history in a sentence. A sentence."

Percy shrugged. "Hey, I'm special."

"Some snickers from the group. Behind me, Nancy Bobofit mumbled to a friend, "Like we're going to use this in real life. Like it's going to say on our job applications, 'Please explain why Kronos ate his kids.'" "And why, Mr. Jackson," Brunner said, "to paraphrase Miss Bobofit's excellent question, does this matter in real life?""

"Busted!" Grover exclaimed happily.

""Busted," Grover muttered."

Everyone laughed at how little Grover had changed.

""Shut up," Nancy hissed, her face even brighter red than her hair. At least Nancy got packed, too. Mr. Brunner was the only one who ever caught her saying anything wrong. He had radar ears."

The Hermes kids nodded earnestly in agreement.

"I thought about his question, and shrugged. "I don't know, sir." "I see." Mr. Brunner looked disappointed. "Well, half credit, Mr. Jackson. Zeus did indeed feed Kronos a mixture of mustard and wine, which made him disgorge his other five children, who, of course, being immortal gods, had been living and growing up completely undigested in the Titan's stomach. The gods defeated their father, sliced him to pieces with his own scythe, and scattered his remains in Tartarus, the darkest part of the Underworld. On that happy note, it's time for lunch. Mrs. Dodds, would you lead us back outside?""

"Way to change the subject, Chiron," Hermes muttered.

Chiron smiled.

"The class drifted off, the girls holding their stomachs, the guys pushing each other around and acting like doofuses. Grover and I were about to follow when Mr. Brunner said, "Mr. Jackson." I knew that was coming. I told Grover to keep going. Then I turned toward Mr. Brunner. "Sir?" Mr. Brunner had this look that wouldn't let you go- intense brown eyes that could've been a thousand years old and had seen everything. "You must learn the answer to my question," Mr. Brunner told me. "About the Titans?" "About real life. And how your studies apply to it." "Oh." "What you learn from me," he said, "is vitally important. I expect you to treat it as such. I will accept only the best from you, Percy Jackson." I wanted to get angry, this guy pushed me so hard."

"It was for a good reason, Percy," Chiron said.

"Yeah, I know," Percy said with a grin. He obviously loved his teacher a lot.

"I mean, sure, it was kind of cool on tournament days, when he dressed up in a suit of Roman armor and shouted: "What ho!'" and challenged us, sword-point against chalk, to run to the board and name every Greek and Roman person who had ever lived, and their mother, and what god they worshipped."

Annabeth looked impressed. "Nice, Chiron. That would have been fun."

What the hell is wrong with this girl?

"But Mr. Brunner expected me to be as good as everybody else, despite the fact that I have dyslexia and attention deficit disorder and I had never made above a C- in my life. No-he didn't expect me to be as good; he expected me to be better. And I just couldn't learn all those names and facts, much less spell them correctly."

"No one can, Perce," Thalia said. "Well, besides Annabeth."

Annabeth smiled with pride.

What a bitch.

"I mumbled something about trying harder, while Mr. Brunner took one long sad look at the stele, like he'd been at this girl's funeral."

"I was at her funeral," Chiron said. "I'm surprised you caught on to that."

Percy shrugged. "What can I say? I notice things."

Annabeth smirked. "Yeah, like you noticed that I've had a crush on you since we were twelve, Seaweed Brain."

"Yeah, but besides that."

All of the demigods laughed. I looked at Annabeth with jealousy in my eyes and was surprised to see her staring back. Her eyes were cold and calculating. She obviously could see that I liked Percy. However, instead of commenting, she just turned and starting staring down all of the other girls who were staring at her jealously (pretty much every girl except for Kaitlyn- again, what is wrong with her?).

"He told me to go outside and eat my lunch. The class gathered on the front steps of the museum, where we could watch the foot traffic along Fifth Avenue. Overhead, a huge storm was brewing, with clouds blacker than I'd ever seen over the city. I figured maybe it was global warming or something, because the weather all across New York state had been weird since Christmas. We'd had massive snow storms, flooding, wildfires from lightning strikes. I wouldn't have been surprised if this was a hurricane blowing in."

Demeter sighed. "Why are you always fighting? You could have just had a bowl of cereal. No wonder you were so cranky."

Artemis rolled her eyes. "Cereal isn't the answer to everything."

Aphrodite nodded. "For once, I agree with Artemis. Cereal is not the answer to all problems. Love is!"

Artemis groaned. "No, it's not that, either."

"SILENCE!" Zeus thundered.

Everyone shut up.

That would be a useful skill to have, I thought to myself. The thundering voice thing.

"Nobody else seemed to notice. Some of the guys were pelting pigeons with Lunchables crackers. Nancy Bobofit was trying to pickpocket something from a lady's purse, and, of course, Mrs. Dodds wasn't seeing a thing. Grover and I sat on the edge of the fountain, away from the others. We thought that maybe if we did that, everybody wouldn't know we were from that school-the school for loser freaks who couldn't make it elsewhere. "Detention?" Grover asked. "Nah," I said. "Not from Brunner. I just wish he'd lay off me sometimes. I mean-I'm not a genius." Grover didn't say anything for a while. Then, when I thought he was going to give me some deep philosophical comment to make me feel better, he said, "Can I have your apple?""

Everyone laughed.

"Typical Grover," Thalia said teasingly.

Grover blushed.

"I didn't have much of an appetite, so I let him take it."

"That wasn't Percy!" Annabeth declared.

I wanted to roll my eyes. Of course it was Percy.

"What do you mean?" someone asked.

"Percy's ALWAYS hungry!"

Everyone started laughing because that was true. I didn't laugh. A few other girls abstained from the hilarity, too. Stupid blondie, cracking dumb jokes that insult Percy and having him laugh about it!

"I watched the stream of cabs going down Fifth Avenue, and thought about my mom's apartment, only a little ways uptown from where we sat. I hadn't seen her since Christmas. I wanted so bad to jump in a taxi and head home."

"Mama's boy," someone muttered.

Without turning around, I said, "If Sally was your mother, you'd be a mama's boy, too."

Percy smiled gratefully at me. I smiled back.

Annabeth smiled at me, too. "You're right," she said, "Sally's the greatest."

Crap. She'd met Sally, too? There goes something I thought I could hold over her.

"Yeah," Percy agreed. "Then again, Mom loves you, Wise Girl."

And Sally thinks she's great, too. Perfect.

"She'd hug me and be glad to see me, but she'd be disappointed, too. She'd send me

right back to Yancy, remind me that I had to try harder, even if this was my sixth school in six years-"

"SIXTH SCHOOL IN SIX YEARS!" Leo shouted. "YES! I finally found someone with a record worse than mine!"

Percy laughed. "Trust me, it gets worse. You'll seem like a model child next to me, Valdez."

"-and I was probably going to be kicked out again. I wouldn't be able to stand that sad look she'd give me. Mr. Brunner parked his wheelchair at the base of the handicapped ramp. He ate celery while he read a paperback novel. A red umbrella stuck up from the back of his chair, making it look like a motorized cafe table. I was about to unwrap my sandwich when Nancy Bobofit appeared in front of me with her ugly friends- I guess she'd gotten tired of stealing from the tourists- and dumped her half-eaten lunch in Grover's lap."

"Bitch," Thalia muttered.

""Oops." She grinned at me with her crooked teeth. Her freckles were orange, as if someone had spray-painted her face with liquid Cheetos."

Leo laughed. "That's high fashion nowadays."

"I tried to stay cool. The school counselor had told me a million times, "Count to ten, get control of your temper.""

"Please," Thalia said, grinning. "If that works for you, I'm dating Nico."

"Hey!" Nico protested. "What's so bad about that?"

"One: I am a Hunter. I don't date. Two: you are like a brother to me. In other words, you're too annoying for me to want to date you."

Nico huffed.

"But I was so mad my mind went blank. A wave roared in my ears."

"Yay!" the children of the gods cried. "Ass-kicking Percy!"

"I don't remember touching her, but the next thing I knew, Nancy was sitting on her butt in the fountain, screaming, "Percy pushed me!" Mrs. Dodds materialized next to us. Some of the kids were whispering: "Did you see-" "-the water-" "-like it grabbed her-""

"And THAT, my friends, is why you never make Percy angry," Thalia said. "He'll douse you."

Percy laughed. "Yep. Hey, Thals, remember our game of capture-the-flag against the Hunters? You shocked me bad, I doused you, you shocked me into the creek, and then-"

"I remember," Thalia interrupted, shivering at the memory. "You just stood up and willed the whole creek to rise with you. It was terrifying. If the Oracle hadn't come, I probably would have died."

"Rachel?" Jason asked in confusion.

"No," Annabeth said softly. "Before Rachel."

"I didn't know what they were talking about. All I knew was that I was in trouble again. As soon as Mrs. Dodds was sure poor little Nancy was okay, promising to get her a new shirt at the museum gift shop, etc., etc., Mrs. Dodds turned on me. There was a tri-umphant fire in her eyes, as if I'd done something she'd been waiting for all semester. "Now, honey-" "I know," I grumbled. "A month erasing workbooks.""

"NEVER GUESS YOUR PUNISHMENT!" the sons of Hermes and Leo cried. Hermes nodded emphatically, agreeing with his sons and Leo.

"That wasn't the right thing to say."

"No," Leo said, sarcasm dripping from the words he spoke. "It was exactly the thing to say."

""Come with me," Mrs. Dodds said. "Wait!" Grover yelped. "It was me. I pushed her." I stared at him, stunned. I couldn't believe he was trying to cover for me. Mrs. Dodds scared Grover to death. She glared at him so hard his whiskery chin trembled. "I don't think so, Mr. Underwood," she said. "But-" "You-will-stay-here." Grover looked at me desperately. "It's okay, man," I told him. "Thanks for trying." "Honey," Mrs. Dodds barked at me. "Now." Nancy Bobofit smirked. I gave her my deluxe I'll-kill-you-later stare."

All of the demigods shivered.

"That's the worst," the twin-like sons of Hermes said softly.

"Oh, come on, it can't be that bad," a egotistical jerk of a jock named Daniel said arrogantly from behind me.

Percy looked past me at him. The look on his face was feral. He looked like a wolf. Immediately, I knew that he would kill Daniel. That's what his eyes said.

I shivered. I knew that Daniel was probably shivering even worse. He got the full blast.

Thalia smiled sinisterly. "Never doubt the son of Poseidon."

"Then I turned to face Mrs. Dodds, but she wasn't there. She was standing at the museum entrance, way at the top of the steps, gesturing impatiently at me to come on. How'd she get there so fast? I have moments like that a lot, when my brain falls asleep or something, and the next thing I know I've missed something, as if a puzzle piece fell out of the universe and left me staring at the blank place behind it. The school counselor told me this was part of the ADHD, my brain misinterpreting things. I wasn't so sure."

"You have good extincts, son," Poseidon said.

"If only you'd listen to them," Annabeth muttered. How does she get away with insulting him so much? Usually Percy doesn't take that kind of shit from anybody!

"You know you love me," Percy said with a grin.

Annabeth turned to him, gazing into his sea green eyes. (Why is she so damn LUCKY?)

"I know I do," she whispered. She stood on her tiptoes and kissed him.

When the kiss exceeded ten seconds, I cleared my throat.

They broke apart, grinning lovingly at each other.

That's it. I officially despised Annabitch.

"I went after Mrs. Dodds. Halfway up the steps, I glanced back at Grover. He was looking pale, cutting his eyes between me and Mr. Brunner, like he wanted Mr. Brunner to notice what was going on, but Mr. Brunner was absorbed in his novel."

"Chiron!" everyone said.

Chiron shrugged, but he was blushing.

"I looked back up. Mrs. Dodds had disappeared again. She was now inside the building, at the end of the entrance hall. Okay, I thought. She's going to make me buy a new shirt for Nancy at the gift shop. But apparently that wasn't the plan."

"Of COURSE it wasn't the plan, Kelp Head!" Thalia yelled. "Hello? Anyone home? MONSTERS DON'T PUNISH YOU BY MAKING YOU BUY T-SHIRTS!"

"Shove off, Pinecone Face."

"I followed her deeper into the museum. When I finally caught up to her, we were back in the Greek and Roman section. Except for us, the gallery was empty."

"It's always like that," soil-haired girl said with a sigh.

One of the Hermes twin-things (the taller one) put his arm around her. "Well, Katie, if it weren't we'd know the world was ending."

Katie rolled her eyes. "Shut up, Travis."

So he was Travis. The other was… um…

"Hey, Connor, back me up on this!"

Connor! That was it.

Connor laughed and said, "The world ended the moment you put your arm around Katie and she didn't pull away."

Katie blushed and pulled away.

"Mrs. Dodds stood with her arms crossed in front of a big marble frieze of the Greek gods. She was making this weird noise in her throat, like growling. Even without the noise, I would've been nervous. It's weird being alone with a teacher, especially Mrs. Dodds. Something about the way she looked at the frieze, as if she wanted to pulverize it…"

Everyone shivered. This teacher was obviously not human and was also extremely terrifying.

""You've been giving us problems, honey," she said. I did the safe thing. I said, "Yes, ma'am." She tugged on the cuffs of her leather jacket. "Did you really think you would get away with it?" The look in her eyes was beyond mad. It was evil. She's a teacher, I thought nervously. It's not like she's going to hurt me."

"Wrong, Kelp Head!" Thalia cried.

"Shut up, Pinecone Face."

"She's right, you know."

"I know, Death Breath. Now can we please continue the story? I like this next part."

"I said, "I'll-I'll try harder, ma'am." Thunder shook the building. "We are not fools, Percy Jackson," Mrs. Dodds said. "It was only a matter of time before we found you out. Confess, and you will suffer less pain." I didn't know what she was talking about. All I could think of was that the teachers must've found the illegal stash of candy I'd been selling out of my dorm room."

Everyone laughed. Typical Percy.

"Or maybe they'd realized I got my essay on Tom Sawyer from the Internet without ever reading the book and now they were going to take away my grade. Or worse, they were going to make me read the book."

"Eventually, Annabeth forced me to read it," Percy told the class.

Of course Annabitch did.

""Well?" she demanded. "Ma'am, I don't..." "Your time is up," she hissed. Then the weirdest thing happened. Her eyes began to glow like barbecue coals. Her fingers stretched, turning into talons. Her jacket melted into large, leathery wings. She wasn't human. She was a shriveled hag with bat wings and claws and a mouth full of yellow fangs, and she was about to slice me to ribbons."

"A Fury?" Jason asked, shocked. "That was your first monster?"

"Yep," Percy replied.

"How are you not dead, man?"

Percy smiled. "You'll see."

"Then things got even stranger. Mr. Brunner, who'd been out in front of the museum a minute before, wheeled his chair into the doorway of the gallery, holding a pen in his hand. "What ho, Percy!" he shouted, and tossed the pen through the air."

"What's a pen gonna do?" I asked.

Percy smiled and pulled a pen out of his pocket. I had seen him with it before. He always pulled it out when he was anxious.

"You'll see," he replied with that maddeningly attractive twinkle in his eyes.

Annabitch glared at me. Was I making her jealous? Excellent!

"Mrs. Dodds lunged at me. With a yelp, I dodged and felt talons slash the air next to my ear. I snatched the ballpoint pen out of the air, but when it hit my hand, it wasn't a pen anymore. It was a sword-Mr. Brunner's bronze sword, which he always used on tournament day."

"And that is how a pen can be useful in this situation," Percy said, uncapping the pen. It elongated until he was holding a bronze sword. It glowed- quite possibly with awesomeness, but also with power.

"This is Riptide," he said before touching the tip. It turned back into a pen and he stuffed it into his pocket.

"Mrs. Dodds spun toward me with a murderous look in her eyes. My knees were jelly. My hands were shaking so bad I almost dropped the sword. She snarled, "Die, honey!""

"Quit it with the "honey", Fury!" Deeves (Chuck) said. It surprised me- usually Deeves was a pretty quiet person. Huh.

"And she flew straight at me. Absolute terror ran through my body. I did the only thing that came naturally: I swung the sword."

"Of course it came naturally," Daniel muttered jealously. What an arrogant, green with envy asshole.

"Well, you can't have killed her just like that," Jason said.

"The metal blade hit her shoulder and passed clean through her body as if she were made of water. Hisss! Mrs. Dodds was a sand castle in a power fan. She exploded into yellow powder, vaporized on the spot, leaving nothing but the smell of sulfur and a dying screech and a chill of evil in the air, as if those two glowing red eyes were still watching me."

"No way," Jason muttered.

All of the girls (besides Kaitlyn) stared at Percy with adoring eyes.

"He's so strong!" I heard a cheerleader whisper.

"So cool!" another girl squealed.

Annabitch glared at them and drew closer to Percy, like she was claiming her territory.

Soon to be my territory, I thought to myself with a smirk. Annabitch would not get Percy in the end. Of that I was sure.

"I was alone. There was a ballpoint pen in my hand. Mr. Brunner wasn't there. Nobody was there but me. My hands were still trembling. My lunch must've been contaminated with magic mushrooms or something."

Annabitch rolled her eyes and face-palmed, muttering, "Magic mushrooms. Honestly Seaweed Brain…"

Percy sent her that endearing smile/smirk that made all of the girls in the room start drooling. I didn't, but I had to use all of my self-control to not jump him then and there.

"Had I imagined the whole thing?"

"NO!" everyone cried.

"I went back outside. It had started to rain. Grover was sitting by the fountain, a museum map tented over his head. Nancy Bobofit was still standing there, soaked from her swim in the fountain, grumbling to her ugly friends. When she saw me, she said, "I hope Mrs. Kerr whipped your butt.""

"Who?" Nico asked.

"I said, "Who?""

Nico scowled.

""Our teacher. Duh!" I blinked. We had no teacher named Mrs. Kerr. I asked Nancy what she was talking about. She just rolled her eyes and turned away. I asked Grover where Mrs. Dodds was. He said, "Who?" But he paused first, and he wouldn't look at me, so I thought he was messing with me."

Leo shook his head. "You need lying lessons. Rule number one: never hesitate. Rule number two: if you look someone in the eye when you're honest, look 'em in the eye."

Grover blushed.

""Not funny, man," I told him. "This is serious." Thunder boomed overhead. I saw Mr. Brunner sitting under his red umbrella, reading his book, as if he'd never moved. I went over to him. He looked up, a little distracted. "Ah, that would be my pen. Please bring your own writing utensil in the future, Mr. Jackson." I handed Mr. Brunner his pen. I hadn't even realized I was still holding it. "Sir," I said, "where's Mrs. Dodds?" He stared at me blankly. "Who?""

"Now, Chiron, you know how to lie," Travis said, nodding his approval.

Katie smacked the back of his head.

""The other chaperone. Mrs. Dodds. The pre-algebra teacher." He frowned and sat forward, looking mildly concerned. "Percy, there is no Mrs. Dodds on this trip. As far as I know, there has never been a Mrs. Dodds at Yancy Academy. Are you feeling alright?""

"That's the end of the chapter," Mr. Blofis announced. "My throat's feeling a bit dry. Would anyone else like to read?"

Percy raised his hand. "May I read, Paul?"

"No," Connor said, "you'll skip all of the embarrassing parts."

"I could read," Thalia offered, her innocent voice contradicting the evil grin on her face.

"Please no," Percy begged.

"I'll read," I said with a tone of finality. No one argued. Mr. Blofis passed me the book.

I took one look at the chapter name and burst out laughing.

When I finally finished laughing, I read out, "Three Old Ladies Knit the Socks of Death."

Hehehe... I'M SO COOL yeah anyway RFF please!

I forgot to do this last time, so

Love ya! lulu