IMPORTANT EDIT/NOTE:
I'm going to be doing my 1 year and 10 months (1 year and 8 months left now) of NS starting early Feb, and therefore will be unable to continue writing regularly... if I even do.
Chapter 3 update: I started it from before I enlisted... but it's still very much in the works. If you've been eagerly waiting for it... well I'm sorry, but I refuse to rush it cause it would probably come out badly. I'm sorry about making you wait, though x.x

So. As a New Year's present, here's Chapter 2! Here's wishing all readers a Happy New Year 2011, and if you wish me the same thing then you can make it happen by leaving a review ^^

Tobias Mason Park: Thanks! ^^ That was quite encouraging

Jen1490: That's for your imagination to think about :)

Disclaimer: In Chapter 1.

Notes #1 and #2 apply.

"So, after that totally degrading and undignified experience…"

"Oh come on, Marco. Stop being a whiny crybaby. It wasn't as bad what you did to Jake. You don't have a girlfriend or cousin here to watch you get totally embarrassed. Or should that be 'em-bare-ass-ed'?" Rachel jibed.

"Right. Luckily, Cassie has some sense of when to pull Jake off before it reached that point where my dignity would have been totally lost. Nope, nowhere near as bad as Jake's experience. At least I stopped earlier than Jake did."

{Well, at least now you know that sometimes it's best to leave some questions unanswered. For some people, anyway.}

"Anyway, passing over what Jake just did to me earlier, and going back to the list. Otherwise poor Tobias will never get back to his meadow. Some larger, more terrifying hawk might come to steal it from him like that time a few weeks ago. Poor Tobias," I said snidely.

{How on Earth do you know about that? I don't remember ever telling anyone except Rachel. And you're too unobservant about these things.}

Oops.

"I never told Marco anything. He'd probably think it was funny and laugh at you for the next few days. Which means…" Rachel paused, deep in thought, and then glared daggers at me. Which meant that Rachel had just reached the only possible conclusion that could be drawn. Which was the correct conclusion, by the way. If those daggers were real, I would be decapitated. And a few days later you'd find my head on Rachel's wall being used as a dartboard.

*Gulp*

Goodbye, world.

"IT WAS YOU! THAT HAWK WAS YOU! Do you know how much stress and worry you gave Tobias? Did you know how terribly frightened he was of losing whatever little territory he managed to get! When I get my hands on your sorry arse…!"

Hell hath no fury like a Rachel whose lover was threatened. It would be sweet, if the Rachel in question wasn't currently advancing toward me. Every muscle in her arms and legs was threatening to become highly acquainted with my body.

"Ohh. Marco, my man, you have just landed yourself in deep, deep trouble."

"You know what? Now's a really bad time for me to be typing this list. If you'll just let me get back to you guys later… heh." I nervously chuckled. But before I could get up and run, Rachel slammed her hands onto the chair I was sitting on and positioned her face a few inches away from mine.

"Never. Ever. Do. That. To. Tobias. Again." And she punctuated each word with a sharp jab into my chest.

"Ow! Okay, okay, Xena! I'll never, ever do that again! I promise! Jake! Cassie! Tobias! HELP ME!" My voice had probably just gotten so high nobody would be able to hear it soon.

{I never knew Marco could do such an impressive imitation of a terrified mouse.}

Rachel's face suddenly lit up, like she was struck with a sudden brainwave. Unfortunately for me, she was. Struck with a sudden brainwave, that is. "You know, people, I could get Marco to promise anything now. He's so scared of me he's probably going to agree to everything. Any requests?"

I would have made some comment about how great power came with great responsibility and she should be responsible instead of trying to make me wet my pants in sheer terror but to be honest my brain had pretty much frozen up at that point. Thankfully Jake decided to redeem himself and remain my best friend by pulling Rachel off.

"Come on Rachel, let's just get this whole thing over and done with. After all, Tobias DOES need to get back to his meadow sometime soon, and you can always threaten Marco later."

Scratch the part about Jake redeeming himself.

Anyway.

Number 4. I shall not freak Tobias out by 1) morphing that larger-than-Tobias red-tailed-hawk that I acquired the other day and 2) landing on a tree in his pasture.

"Okay. What else in my life do you guys want me to give up? Pocket change? Satisfaction? Happiness? Intelligence?"

"You should give up your looks. Then at least people who see you won't have to wait until you open your mouth to know that you're dumb. Saves everyone a lot of time, really."

"Straight through the heart, Rachel." I mimed sticking a blade through my heart. "Wait. Did Rachel just admit that I'm cute? Or that I'm good looking? Or both?"

"In your dreams, maybe. I'm just saying you don't look as stupid as you are. Which is unfortunate for the rest of the world who has to talk to you at least once before finding out that your shoe size is probably higher than your IQ."

Just then, who should walk in but the remaining missing member of the Animorphs. Who also just happened to be the one who was not human. He was in human morph, thankfully. My father might have been working but a four-eyed scorpion-tailed freaky blue deer isn't exactly easy to miss, even by the less-than-average person on the street.

{Hello Rachel, Cassie, Tobias, Marco, Prince Jake. What are you doing with the computer?}

"Don't call me Prince. And Marco's making a list."

"Correction. They're making me make a list."

{I see. These Messages have mentioned that one should create lists if they start to find themselves losing their memory or nor remembering things that they should. Marco, are you losing your memory?}

"It's not that kind of a list, Ax. Marco has done very stupid things recently that have angered almost all of us. The problem is that he finds these kinds of things funny. So we are trying to stop him from doing these things ever again by creating a list of things he should not do."

"I am of the opinion that I could live my life without an extra person telling me what to do. However, unfortunately for me, daddy over there, along with mummy, daddy's crazy cousin and the birdbrained in-law refuse to even listen to me. What a dysfunctional little family we are."

{Ah. How about the time where you almost made me contact the Andalite home world because you made me think that there were psychic spoon-wielding warriors on Earth who could defeat enemies with their telekinetic powers?}

"Hey, not you too! And it's not my fault you believe everything you watch on your TV, you know! Even little human kids can tell that they aren't real. Hmm. I never knew that I sould be THAT persuasive."

" You almost made Ax divert the Andalite Fleet away from Earth because he thought we wouldn't require their aid! It was fortunate that Cassie was nearby and asked Ax what he was doing! Which was terrible anyway, because Cassie's almost as bad at popular culture as Ax is!"

Great. Rachel was beginning to rave again. I could just imagine little flecks of foam flying out of her mouth. Oh wait. That wasn't foam, that was saliva.

And it almost hit me in the face.

Eww.

Number 5. I shall not try to convince Ax that Alakazam (or Pokemon in general) are real.

"I don't get why this is something I have to avoid, anyway. Ax, with all his amazing Andalite sensibilities, should be able to tell truth from fiction. I mean, after all, the Yeerks were able to tell that Pokemon weren't real."

Suddenly, I saw Ax's hooves flying in my direction from the corner of my eye.

*THUMP*

"AHHH!"