Breakdown
Riku drove for a collective total of three hours—to the beach, through all the back roads he knew, and then finally home. The driving did nothing to ease his restless mind. Every time he dared to take his mind off the road in front of him and the look-alike cars before him, his thoughts drifted back to the night prior. So many things could have been prevented. All he had to do was keep his mouth shut and not suggest anything until Sora brought it up. Sora would have been ready then. Sora wouldn't have broken up with him if he hadn't asked.
Riku wasn't aware until three minutes later that he had slammed his fist down against the horn. It was not until an angry neighbor stormed out of their house and began shouting at the parked car that Riku realized he still had the fist on the wheel. Right. Angrily, the silveret removed his fist, the silence doing nothing to sooth his rough nerves. All Riku wanted to do was beat the living daylights out of something. Anything would work.
Figuring that he couldn't spend the entirety of his life in the driver's seat of his parents' car, Riku kicked the driver-side door open and jostled out of the car. A gentle breeze swept through his thin, silver hair, at once obstructing his view. He didn't mind, though. Right now Riku wasn't really too pleased on being able to see anything this cruel world had in store for him. Perhaps if he hadn't loved Sora so god damn much this wouldn't be so damn difficult.
Riku's eyes drifted upwards towards the dreary looking sky. It was days like these that he used to spend with Sora, curled up on a couch, surfing through the boring channels on tv. They'd make out, whisper sweet nothings, laugh, and tease each other senseless. Why did the memories seem so fuzzy and faraway now? Riku shuddered and huffed, abruptly leaving his driveway and entering his small, two story house without speaking a single word to the still hollering neighbor.
He walked through the dining room and ran past the living room to the stairs. Since the night before, he couldn't bare to look at the room. It held memories that were too real and too fresh to be dealt with. His legs pushed down onto the stairs and mind raced up them. Pushing through his door, Riku then found his bed. At last, some comfort.
Just as Riku's silver locks hit his pillow, he felt something vibrate in his pants. A sigh exited his mouth as he glanced at his phone. He flipped it open and saw he had a new text. Axel. Perfect.
"Hey, r u busy?" said the text.
"Not really. Not in the mood to text," Riku typed at lightening speeds and threw his phone onto his nightstand. His mind fell back into the past, where it had been all day. His eyes closed.
There he stood with Sora on the beach. It was late September the year before. The sun's rays made Sora's dark hair appear blond. It made Riku smile. Riku stood close to the brunet as he pointed at a surfer out in the distance crash into a wave. They both laughed as the man tried to stay afloat but was crushed under the wave. Sora turned to Riku and smiled. It was at that moment that Riku took Sora's hand for the first time.
A tear seeped out of the corner of Riku's eyes. Such a beautiful memory held so much weight in Riku's mind. He wondered if Sora even remembered that day on the beach at all.
Just as Riku felt as if he were about to lose what little composure he had, the cell phone on his nightstand began to vibrate. It wasn't a text. It was a phone call.
"What do you want, Axel?" Riku asked with a hint of hate.
"You didn't say anything about calling," Axel said. "Can I come over?"
Riku groaned in utter defeat and responded with a despondent, "Can't you tell when someone wants to be alone?" Riku really didn't expect Axel to answer with a yes. The redhead never believed in 'personal space'. It was, apparently, against the redhead's religion or something like that.
"I really need to talk to you, though," Axel said persistently. The tapping of his fingers against wood could be heard over the phone. "I mean, you are the person I'm turning to for advice, you should be honored."
"Why are you making it seem like me giving you advice is some sort of favor you're doing for me? That makes no sense, you idiot," Riku scoffed irritably, his hand flexing. He had never gone this long without holding Sora's hand. He missed the way it felt so perfectly within his. How Sora's fingers would clasp in his own. With each passing moment, though, the strength of that feeling faded. Riku needed it again to refresh his mind. It wasn't just want, it was need.
"Oh, shut up," Axel grumbled and then asked, "So, can I?"
"Fine, whatever," Riku moaned, burying his chin down into his pillow. "But if I'm an irritable ass, you'll know why."
"Thanks for the warning, bud," Axel said with a small snicker on his side. "I'll be over in ten minutes. I have to bribe the keys away from my mother. Anyhow, see you there. Don't get too dolled up for me." And with that, Axel hung up, ending the short conversation on a bizarre note.
"Creep," Riku grumbled, though a trace of affection was there. Axel was his best friend. Sure, he got annoyed with him, but nothing could ever possibly break their friendship. "At least I won't have to deal with being lonely the entire day," Riku mumbled to himself as he tossed the cell phone off the bed, watching as it landed onto the ground with a gentle thud.
And right now all Riku wanted was to be back at that beach with Sora, holding the brunet's small hand in his for the very first time. All he wanted was Sora…not some lame conversation with Axel.
Riku considered turning on some music or the TV for background noise until Axel came, but decided that he should enjoy the last few drops of silence he could have for hours…even if silence met being alone to his own thoughts.
All over Riku's walls were pictures of Sora. Pictures of him covered in powdered sugar when they tried to bake cookies last Christmas. Pictures from dances. Pictures of moments that would never be duplicated ever again. The pictures had to come down at some point. Riku figured now would be better a time than ever. His hands pried the still frames off his ocean blue walls. He watched as each picture fluttered to the ground.
Ten minutes seemed like hours. The silence rang through his house. Any other afternoon Sora would be over at Riku's, or online, or calling or texting Riku. Riku sat on his bed starring at the pictures wondering if one day he and Sora could be friends like before. He wondered if he had the capability to be "just friends" with the brunet. Probably not. It would hurt too much.
As he sat there, reminiscing, a pang of guilt and remorse clung to him, stinging his heart. What did he do wrong? Had he done something wrong? God, he should have seen this coming. Riku groaned and buried his face into the pillow, not bothering to go downstairs and wait for Axel. The redhead could let himself in, anyhow. He knew where the spare key was, under the mat by the front door. All Riku's mind could focus on was all the things he had done wrong. He should have asked for more simpler things before sex. He should have asked to go slow. To do things that would make Sora more comfortable with the whole intimate thing.
Sure…they had done some things, but not many. There were no climaxes or releases that Riku could remember. There were spells of clothed grinding that nearly sent him over the edge until Sora shyly stopped it; unable to go through with such a huge step, but that had been all. Riku nearly wanted to bang his head against something. Why had he let his hormones take control and ruin his best relationship?
Riku must have zoned out for a good ten minutes because when Axel arrived in his bedroom, swinging the keys around on his fingers, he was quite surprised to see him.
"Miss me, beautiful?" Axel said with a smirk.
The truth is, Riku only missed Sora. He was sure Axel knew this. Riku rolled his eyes at his best friend."You got here fast," Riku stated apathetically, rolling on his side to stare at Axel with a lifted brow.
"Not really," Axel responded with a snort and snagged Riku's computer chair. The redhead dragged said chair over to the bed and sat at it, his legs on each side of the small back piece as he leaned his elbows on the top. "You going to pay attention or do I need to get you hyped off something first?"
Riku rolled his eyes. "Just tell me what you so desperately needed me for," Riku explained irritably, folding his arms to his chest as his aquamarine eyes met Axel's sharper, greener ones. At once, the silveret knew something was dreadfully wrong. Riku looked at his friend, never once breaking eye contact.
A moment of silence and then, "Axel. What did you do?" He was being very serious. He just knew something was amiss by the way Axel looked at him that helplessly.
"Remember two summers ago when I went to that part up at the university?" The wild redhead hardly ever looked serious, but Riku saw a hint of sincerity locked away behind his friend's cat-like eyes as he spoke.
"The one I refused to go to because the people at that college are complete dickheads?" Still, even if Axel was being serious, Riku couldn't help but being a smartass.
"Yeah, that one…," Axel paused and looked at the ground. "I slept with someone."
Judging by Axel's tone, Riku decided to keep his mouth shut. Something was very wrong.
"I only drank a few beers. The party wasn't that exciting," Axel said as he nervously turned the chair from side to side. "So, I decided to explore the house. I went up stairs and saw a door open. It was this kid, Seifer's, room. I think he was the one throwing the party." The redhead stopped speaking. His head fell onto his hands.
Riku looked onto his friend, realizing how hard the confession must be on the boy. "Axel, I think I get. You don't have to go into detail."
"No, that's not all," Axel continued. "He was getting CDs. He saw me and said I was beautiful. He offered me some vodka or something. I took it. We talked…and then I woke up the next morning feeling like complete hell. It was then he told me he had HIV…after we had had sex. After I gave him everything. It was then he fucking took the liberty of telling me about his disease."
Riku fell silent for a long moment. At first he wanted to yell at Axel for shoving this huge burden on him the day after Sora broke up with him. It was too much to handle in two days. Then Riku was stunned. Axel. His best friend, apart from his now ex boyfriend, had HIV? Was he going to die? Then the anger returned as he glared at Axel. Why hadn't he used protection? Why hadn't he been smarter? And then there was denial. Maybe Axel had been mistaken. Maybe he didn't have it…and finally, finally came acceptance. Axel had come to him seeking advice. Help.
"…And why are you telling me this now? You've had it for awhile. Why tell me now?" Riku wondered lamely as he stared accusingly at Axel, as if Axel had just committed the cruelest of crimes. The silveret was too despondent to feel sympathy at this moment.
Axel snorted and sheepishly rubbed his forehead and then the back of his neck. He was nervous, Riku could tell. "Well, not to be blunt, but…" Axel cleared his throat and looked over to Riku, meeting his gaze for a moment. "…But I want to date this guy. You know, the one I've been crushing on and have gone on a few dates with? Yeah, him."
Riku understood, then. "So you're not sure how to tell him?" Riku guessed, biting his bottom lip with a sigh soon afterwards. "I don't know, Axel. You've dug yourself into a huge hole this time. I don't know what I can say to do…it's either tell him now or tell him when you're feeling like things are going to get more intimate, I guess."
Axel shrugged. "More than you know," Axel whispered under his breath, concealing a shard of information before looking back up to Riku. "And how would I go about telling lhim, huh? Just say, 'Oh hey, guess what? I have HiV. Guess we can't have sex. Sorry.'"
Riku rolled his eyes. "Then just don't have sex with him," Riku drawled. "Your relationships don't last that long, Axel. I wouldn't even be thinking about sex if I were you." Riku then added on, "Considering what happened."
"Don't be so harsh," Axel's eyes flashed a bit of anger. "It's not the sex, really. I just like him, a lot. I like him enough to not want to constantly be lying to him." He made sure to accent the last bit of his statement. Axel was hinting at something, but Riku didn't pick up on the vibe.
"So, tell him." Riku laid back down on his bed. "It will sting, but not as badly as if you were to hold that information in. "
"You're right. Time to swallow my pride and tell the truth," Axel moved from his position on the chair to the foot of the bed. His back rested firmly on the wall, and he smiled, "I really like him, Riku."
"Do you think he likes you back?" Riku said while propping himself up on an elbow to see his friend's facial expressions.
"Who knows. I'm not taking chances. I'm going to tell him. I'm ready for something that will work, for once."
"And if he doesn't like you because of your past mistakes, than he wasn't worth it." Riku closed his eyes at the conclusion of his statement. His heart pounded a bit faster. Thinking about his friend finding someone had made him realize he had no one. Riku picked out a college that would be close to Sora. He pictured them one day sharing an apartment. Now, all he could do is hope that one day Sora would speak to him again.
xx x ♥ x xx
A small stand of light found its way between Sora's curtains. It pierced through the emptiness of his room and landed on Sora. The sunlight illuminated Sora's cheek, which had been paled from lack of movement and nourishment. A groan passed through his lips as he turned over, pulling his blanket over his head in the process. He cursed the warmth of California's rays and momentarily wished there to be snow in December instead of sunshine.
Sora hadn't left his house let alone his room since the break up. His bed had been his coffin of sorts. There was a complete lack of motivation surging through his veins. All he wanted to do was feel the pain he knew he deserved for leaving Riku.
Sora's mother had been concerned. She occasionally wandered up into his room to check his fever and give him soup, but he constantly told her he wasn't feeling any better and that he wasn't hungry. He ate some, though. Enough to keep him from starving, but not enough to keep him healthy enough to not become sick entirely. In fact, Sora had almost given himself an illness (that he didn't' already have…) from being in this room so long without food and that constant guilt nagging at him. It had been enough to give him a fever.
One day he'd tell Riku, Sora figured in his mind. One day far from now. When Riku had kids and a family. That would be when Sora told him. That way he wouldn't feel like he had to come back to Sora know that he knew. Hell, Sora doubted Riku would ever want him back in the first place. He was skinny. He was unpopular. He was just an average person. Why did Riku even fall in love with him in the first place? Was it just a stroke of luck?
Still, Sora wouldn't question Riku's love. Or what had been love until two days ago. Sora shuddered at the memory and quickly blocked it away. He needed to stop thinking about how he should have waited a few more months until he and Riku got together instead of having sex with Axel. He should have waited.
Sora was jerked out of his thoughts when a knock came upon his door. Sora lifted his head from a plethora of tissues that surrounded his limp body. Curiously, Sora tilted his head, just slightly, to the side and hoarsely stated, "Come in…" Though he really would have rather to be alone.
His spiky, blonde haired brother entered the room, his hands in his black jacket pockets. Sharp, blue eyes locked on with Sora's dull ones. Roxas frowned and lingered near the entrance of Sora's bedroom, surveying the scene for a long moment. "God, you look like hell," Roxas lamented as he walked over to his brother.
"Don't come closer," Sora croaked out, faking a cough. "I'm…" Another fake cough and, "Sick."
Roxas rolled his eyes and sat down at the edge of Sora's bed. "Cut the crap, Sora, I know you're not sick. I'm not going to tell mom, though, don't worry. I'm not that big of a jerk." He offered a weary smile before continuing. "You've missed two days in a row, Sora…This isn't healthy. I know you're not sick so stop moping around."
Sora shook is head. "If you only knew…" The truth is, even if Sora had been making himself ill on purpose, he was feeling worse than usual. Besides the massive amounts of crying, Sora felt weak. Weaker than usual.
"What don't I know?" Roxas eyed his brother. "Ever since I decided to move in with dad after the divorce you've cut me off. I had to find out from Riku that you guys broke up. I should have heard that from my brother, not from his ex."
"You're right. I'm sorry," Sora paused. "I'm sick, Roxas."
"Like I have mono sick, or I have a broken heart sick?" The blond stared at the brunet. He hoped to find some hint of the answer in Sora's eyes but was left with nothing.
Sora didn't want to tell Roxas. If he told his brother about the disease it would make it real. So far, only he and Axel knew about Sora's condition, and Sora wasn't about to talk to Axel regarding his physical state. But if he confessed his sins to Roxas, someone would know. Someone close to him. It would bring the virus to life.
Sora took a deep breath. He didn't want to lie. Not to his brother. "Like, I have HIV sick." Before Roxas had the chance to respond, Sora buried himself beneath his blankets. He didn't want to see Roxas' eyes. He didn't want to see disappointment.
And the blond blinked. That's all he could do. His brain tried to comprehend the statement, but it couldn't. His friend…his brother…he couldn't have HIV. How could this have happened Roxas thought. He knew Sora had only been with one other person beside Riku, and that was a girl back in ninth grade. They didn't have sex…
"Wait. Did Riku lie? Did you guys have sex? Did he give it to you?" Roxas thought out loud.
Sora shot up from under the covers. "No! Never. Riku doesn't have HIV. Ax—I mean an ass from some party gave it to me." He forgot that no one knew about Axel's infection. Axel asked Sora to keep it that way. None the less, Sora couldn't have Roxas thinking Riku did something wrong. It was Sora who had done the wrong. Everything wrong.
Roxas breathed in deeply and looked wearily at Sora. Suddenly everything made sense. "So that's why you guys broke up, then? You told him and he got mad?" Roxas guessed, frowning at Sora who continued shaking horribly, looking like he was about throw up any second. Sora looked horrible.
"…No. I broke up with him because I didn't have the heart to tell him," he explained calmly, closing his eyes. "I couldn't tell him that I…" Tears began to fall at this point. "That I had had sex before. That he wasn't going to be my first when I would have been his. It would have torn him apart, Roxas! And then this disease! Oh god!"
"Sora..." Roxas sighed and placed a hand cautiously onto Sora's hand. He wanted to thank him for telling him, but he didn't think it'd be the right place to say that. Not now, anyway. "Do you have the test results?"
Sora shifted uncomfortably. "…Yes…"
Roxas frowned and then paused. He would have asked to see them but he knew it would just be even harder on Sora if he did that. "When did this happen?" the blond dared to ask, chewing his bottom lip worriedly. How could Sora, of all people, get this? Roxas' stomach felt entirely flipped upside down at this point.
"Summer, before Riku and I started dating…party…guy was unprotected…you know the rest…" Sora whispered brokenly as he looked off to the right, pretending to be occupied with something in his room. Something. Anything to keep his mind off the shame that was flickering in his once happy blue eyes.
"I'm sorry," Roxas said sympathetically. "Mom and Dad don't have to know. I won't tell them, I promise… but you're making yourself sick, Sora… I'm really worried about you." Roxas stared concernedly at Sora, hoping that maybe it was just all in Sora's head and he never actually got the disease. Yeah right. Things like that only happened in dreams.
Sora wanted to cry again. "Roxas…I can't get my mind off this…just thinking about anything makes me want to throw up. And I think I'm just sick in general…I probably caught something. I don't know…"
Roxas nodded and then sighed. "All right…Maybe we should go down to the clinic, see what you caught, get some medicine for it, and then make you take it so you can get back to school and not fail," he said sternly.
"…Whatever…I don't wanna leave but…whatever. It'll be better than taking cold medicine," Sora sighed.
Roxas glanced at the clock on the nightstand. It read 5:15 p.m. "Well, they're closed for today. We'll call tomorrow and make an appointment."
"But if we make an appointment I could be better by the time they have an opening,"
Sora fidgeted. He didn't want to go to the doctor. Insides he felt like he was dying; he didn't want confirmation on that fact.
"Sora, if what you're saying is true, you may never be better," the statement was hard for Roxas to say, but it was the truth. HIV was incurable. It often led to AIDS. It often led to death. Roxas shivered at the thought of losing his brother. That couldn't happen. "We're going to get you retested. I want proof."
"But, Roxas, I have proof! I have a letter from the last place I got tested from," Sora whined. He needed Roxas to accept that Sora had made bad decisions. Sora needed someone to accept that he had HIV because he couldn't himself.
"I don't care what proof you have. I need my own proof. I want a doctor to tell it to my face that you have it. Not a piece of paper sent in the mail," Roxas' hand took Sora's. He held it softly. They sat there in silence for a while: each lost in their own thoughts.
Roxas squeezed his brother's hand. "But Sora, you need to tell him."
"Why? He probably hates me anyway. He has every right too.."
"…He doesn't hate you," Roxas interrupted. "Do you think he does, honestly?" The blond grabbed Sora's phone from the nightstand and powered it on. He pointed to the screen that flashed a message reading '10 new voicemails.' "Sora, he doesn't hate you. For the love of God and all that is holy, tell the boy. He has a right to know the truth."
"But he'll hate me even more then," Sora reasoned. It wasn't good reasoning, but he didn't have it in him to tell Riku. Sora noticed his brother shake his head at his statement. "Can I at least wait until after the new test results are in?…I don't want to worry him anymore than I have to."
Roxas sighed and nodded. "All right. Then we'll wait until then. But please, speak to the boy before he drives me insane. He's already started bugging me at school, asking where you were and why you won't answer his calls."
Sora frowned. "I suppose…I could text him. I don't think I can handle hearing his voice," he whispered quietly, hugging his arms tightly to his body. "I'd probably blurt out something I shouldn't and there goes everything."
Roxas sighed again. "Okay. We'll go tomorrow, get the test, I'll have my proof. If you really are…then you tell Riku and see what he says. If he wants proof, I'll…confirm it. If he doesn't want to be with you, then fuck him. If he still wants to be with you and understands, then god bless him." Roxas frowned. When Riku had told him they had broken up he had assumed it was for a selfish reason. Not this.
"Thanks…" Sora lowered his gaze and poked a few tissues. "I love him, you know…" Sora whispered softly, tears prickling at his eyes. "I really, really do. And I would do anything…anything to be with him and take all of this back."
"I know, Sora," Roxas murmured and sat back down, resting his hand on Sora's shoulder, giving it a light squeeze this time. "I know."
Sora leaned into his brother's warm and proceeded to bury his face against Roxas' chest, hands clenching tightly at the other male's shirt as he silently sobbed. There were no tears. He didn't have any left anymore. All Sora wanted was to be with Riku. He hadn't meant to hurt Riku. He hadn't meant to do any of this. All he wanted right now was Riku.
The phone rang. "For the love of…" Roxas growled when he heard the phone. What? Would this make eleven voicemails? "Answer it, Sora. Talk to him." Roxas chucked the phone at the shaking Sora, handing him a Kleenex in the process, just in case.
Sora stared wide-eyed at the phone, uncertain if he should answer it or not. The phone vibrated in his hand. He looked at Riku's name on the screen. All of the sudden, a longing to hear Riku speak made its way into Sora's heart. "Well…it has been days since we've talked." A few seconds ago he wanted nothing more than to ignore Riku and pretend he didn't exist. Oh how fickle emotions can be.
"That's the spirit," Roxas patted Sora's back and stood from the bed. "I'm going to go talk to Mom. Have fun."
Sora's fingers flipped open the phone. Cautiously, he placed the phone to his ear. "Hello?"
"Sora? You…you answered!?" Riku's voice sounded a bit confused. He had been expecting the call to go straight to voicemail like it had countless times before.
"Yes, it's me," the brunet picked up a pencil and twirled it around his fingers nervously. He didn't know how one converses with an ex, especially one you still loved…"What's up?"
"Not a thing," Riku paused. Everything inside him told him to not bring up the breakup. He knew it wouldn't solve anything. No matter how much he begged and pleaded with Sora, Sora had made his decision. Riku couldn't change Sora's mind. He sighed into the phone.
"Something wrong?" Sora smacked his forehead. Dammit, of course there's something wrong. You broke up with him, you idiot, he thought to himself. "…Sorry."
"I'm not going to lie to you," Riku said bluntly.
"I never asked you to…" Sora's voice trailed off into the distance. One thing Sora never wanted was Riku to lie.
"It's not ok--It may never be ok, but I'm dealing, sort of," Riku tried to hide the hurt underlining his voice. A silence plagued the conversation. The silveret could tell Sora was not up for discussing the taboo matter at this point in time. "How are you feeling?"
"I feel like I'm on my deathbed." For once, Sora didn't lie. "I'm pretty sick, Riku."
"You haven't answered my calls or texts. No one, not even your brother, has heard from you. I thought you were dead." The words flew from Riku's mouth at an amazing speed.
Does that mean Riku cares about me even though I hurt him? Sora contemplated this idea and then realized he was still on the phone. "Sorry to worry everyone. Roxas came over today. He's taking me to the doctors soon."
"Well, I suppose that's good news, then," Riku answered laconically, his fingers tapping slowly on his knee. His words were simple and stripped of any emotion whatsoever. It was odd to hear him speak to Sora in such a tone, but it was to be expected.
"Yeah," said Sora. "I should be back in school late this week or something," he went on to say, looking over at Roxas with a shrug. Maybe this week, maybe next. Right now he didn't care about his grades. No, all he cared about was the man he had just hurt and that stupid disease that plagued his thoughts and body. God damn it all.
"Oh," Riku responded, a bit surprised. "Going to be gone that long?...I hope it's nothing serious."
The casual conversation nearly killed Sora inside. What they should be saying was how much they loved each other and how their days were, and just how totally in love they were and how they'd never be apart. "I don't think so. Just annoying and making me feel like I'm dying." Which I am.
"If it's straining you to talk, I can hang up," Riku offered, his tone still void of emotion. If you listened hard enough you could barely pick up on the concern. On the heartbreak that laced his voice.
"It's fine…don't worry about it," Sora murmured and began tracing small shapes onto the back of the phone. He had never felt this nervous speaking with Riku before. "Unless you have to do something?" Sora would never admit just how wonderful it was to hear Riku's voice. Just his voice sent shivers down the brunet's spine. Good lords.
"Nothing really," Riku admitted. "But I'm low on minutes, so I have to make this short. I haven't purchased new ones yet."
Sora nodded, regardless of whether or not Riku could see. "Well then, you better go. I don't want to waste your minutes," he said quietly, his mind straining and struggling and aching to tell Riku it would all be all right and that he still loved him. But he couldn't. He couldn't do that. He had to continue with this heartbreak.
"Sora, talking to you isn't a waste," Riku answered sternly. There was a thread of honesty and compassion in that sentence. It was easily detected.
"I suppose… but you'd probably be able to put them to better use," Sora reasoned, shaking his head. Don't waste your money on someone who broke your heart and lied to you, Sora thought weakly, his grip on the phone tightening in pain. Don't even bother talking to me. I'm not worth your time anymore.
"I'm not going to argue about this. You know how I feel and that's all… but I guess I just have to get over it. Anyhow, I better go. I'll…see you around, okay?" Pain. There was so much pain leaking involuntarily from the silveret's voice.
"Yeah…see ya." Sora had to bite down his tongue to resist whispering the usual, 'I love you'.
"I-…See ya," Riku echoed, having to do the same thing.
Sora hung up and held the phone in trembling hands.
xx x ♥ x xx
The next day crept along at an amazingly slow pace. Sora's absence from school made Riku's reluctance to pay attention to his studies grow. He was used to the brunet pestering him, telling him to pay attention so he could graduate. Now all Riku got was Axel asking for relationship advice. He knew Axel was going through hell at the moment, but all Riku wanted was a break.
So, as the final bell rang and the silveret grabbed his belongings, he decided to go visit Namine at work. The drive to Angel Falls Café took but 15 minutes. By the time Riku found his usual table, his mind was already racing through the past and all the time he had shared with his ex in the establishment. Before Riku was able to sulk into his cup of coffee, Namine appeared at the table, saving Riku from his thoughts.
"Well, nice of you to stop by," Namine said as she took a seat at the table.
As Riku nodded and opened his mouth to speak, his eyes caught sight of a thin brunette girl. Usually, Riku would have looked past the girl to whatever boy she had and would check him out, but this girl was different. For whatever reason, his eyes locked on to her and suddenly Riku forgot what he was about to say and simply stared at the mystery girl.
Namine took heed of the current situation, smiled and said, "Oh, silly me. This is my cousin, Olette. She just moved here from Ohio." Namine motioned Olette to the table, "Olette, this is Riku. He's basically my best guy friend."
And then Olette smiled. Riku didn't understand what was going on. Something inside of him beckoned him to say something to the girl and something else reminded him of Sora. So, instead of speaking, he went through a mental battle over what he should do.
"Nice to meet you," Olette squinted and smiled as she raised a hand to Riku.
Riku lightly shook the hand, "Same to you."
"Oh, I forgot to tell you," Namine interjected. "Riku's ga—"
An elbow pushed into her side inhibiting the rest of the word from forming. "I'm glad to meet you," Riku said as he glared at Namine.
"Oh," Olette responded with a warm smile, sitting at the table with her cousin and 'new acquaintance'. "Well, any friend of Namine is a friend of mine," she explained casually, lacing her hands together on the table. She appeared nervous and Riku couldn't help but liken her demeanor to his ex's. It was gentle, untamed, and innocent. Or so the first few minutes of conversation told him.
Namine was still trying to figure out what the push was for before Riku spoke again. "Do you like it here so far?" Sea green eyes shimmered shamelessly at her. It wasn't a pathetic come on, but more so a look of subtle interest. Riku swore up and down it wasn't because she somewhat reminded him of Sora. No. That wasn't it at all.
"I do," she responded at once, the smile never fading. Sora's never faded either. "It's a lot warmer and…less chaotic," she admitted with a sheepish shrug.
"Well, that's good," Riku answered just as casually as before.
Their eyes met and Olette shyly looked away, turning to her cousin. "If all of your friends are this attractive, I'm going to have a hard time fitting in," she giggled, the warm smile morphing into a pleasured grin.
Riku chuckled at this. Well, we are an attractive bunch, he thought, mildly amused. "You'll fit in just fine, don't worry," he reassured her, an almost flirtatious grin on his own face. And for some reason, it felt almost wrong to be flirting with someone, even though he was single. And yet… at the same time, it felt oddly right. Exciting, almost. Even if this was a girl. Even if this could be pointless. She was cute. She was shy. He was single. She was…hopefully single. He needed something to take his mind off Sora. It all fit together wonderfully.
Namine figured she'd ask later as to why Riku was acting so…well, straight all of a sudden.
Riku, feeling no need to be passive, inquired, "If you're not busy this Friday, we could go see a movie? I heard that new movie…with that Will Smith guy is pretty good."
Olette blinked in surprise. "Sure. That'd be nice." Another smile.
"Consider it a 'welcome to the town' sort of thing." His somewhat-fake smile glittered with threads of honesty. Behind that honesty was hurt. Hurt that only he could feel and see. It didn't matter, though. As long as Sora was off his mind for a few moments, everything was fine. Everything was going well.
"Mmkay," the girl said with a smile. "So, Riku" she made sure to accentuate the 'ku' in his name and she placed her beverage on the small table. "What grade are you in?"
"Senior. Thank god. And yourself?" It was nice to have a normal conversation with someone who knew nothing about his breakup. The past few days had been countless questions surrounding Sora, all of which took a stab at Riku's heart. He was now beaming with energy at the idea of speaking about normal, mundane topics.
"Junior. I think I'm going to stay out here for college," Olette said as she played with her hands. "I like the warmth."
"It'll get to you after a while," Riku took a sip of his coffee, never once taking his eyes off of the girl that sat before him. "You know, I've never seen snow."
"What?!" Olette almost chocked on her hot beverage. "Oh, we'll have to fix that at some point. Sure, it's a pain sometimes, but it cancels class. And it is beautiful."
"And I love beautiful things," he said with a smile that only Riku could produce. Olette giggled.
Namine's head moved back and forth watching the two engage in their conversation. At first, she was confused as to why Riku would give Olette the time of day, and why she was being ignored. Not only was Olette a girl, but she really wasn't Riku's type. Namine loved her cousin, but she wasn't the brightest or most special girl out there. Olette was quiet, reserved and loved to read while Riku was confident, outgoing and into video games. Then, it clicked. Opposites attract, the blonde thought to herself.
"Well, I'm going to let you two catch up. I am working after all," Namine smiled and glanced at Riku. "Call me later. We have much to discuss."
Riku nodded, "See you Namine." His attention went back to the girl. They talked for a full hour about each other's lives. For some reason, Sora never appeared in his conversation. Riku briefly touched on the fact his boyfriend had just broken up with him, but he made sure to quickly recover and change subjects.
With every word spoken to the girl in front of him, Sora faded a little more into the background until all Riku saw was a pretty little girl named Olette.