"Mikey,"

"Yes Gerard?"

"Um, c-can you stop?"

"Why? i promised to make you feel better." he said, the tip of his nose getting dangerously close to my dick. i was shaking, trying not to fall into a flashback and squirmed, saying "I-i do feel better now, much better, so you can stop."

he smirked up at me and whispered "Would you like to feel amazing?"

ok, now i was seriously not liking this. his hand was slowly running up, closer and closer to my manhood, that wasnt even the slightest bit hard might i add, i swear it probably shrunk cuz i was that scared.

so i pushed him off and pulled my pants back up.

"I-im going to bed Mikey, i'll see you tomorrow." i said hastily and nearly ran from the room. as soon as i reached my room i fell into a full fledged flashback, returning to the scene i was having before

he managed to get the belt around my throat, i could hardly breathe. my eyes felt like they were going to pop, my spine was contorted. he pulled down my pajama pants and stroked my not at all hard dick. "Get it up boy, ima need it." he said, giving me a hand job, but i still wouldnt get a full hard on, i was too scared. "I said GET IT UP!" he yelled and punched me hard, my nose breaking. i couldnt even scream out in pain, i knew i couldnt waste the precious limited air supply i had. he tried again, but i still couldnt get a full hard on, so he continued to punch me, bruising whatever his fist came in contact with, breaking my eyebrow open, blood gushing out of that too. dear god, he was gonna kill me if i didnt do this. but i was trying to weight the pro's and con's of the situation. i finally decided that i didnt want to die, so i tried to think of the dirtiest images and started to stroke myself, imagening it was some amazingly hot person. he pushed my hand away, slamming it so hard against the tub that i could feel two of my knuckles crunch, and started to stroke me himself, wanting the satisfaction of getting me hard. i continued to think of the dirtiest things, till finally i had a hard on. "Thats a gud boy, now why dont you return the favor?" he said and tugged his pants off. i almost wanted to say, "No need asshole, your pretty fuckin hard." but i didnt want to give him ideas. so my shaking hand wrapped itself around his hard memeber, stroking it softly. it earned me another hard blow to the face and he yelled "Did i say be gentle?" "Dad, why are you- OH MY GOD! GET OFF HIM!" my friend shouted from the door, i guess he had come to see why there was so much comotion. i wasnt hard anymore either. i was gasping for air, bleeding and crying. suddenly, the older man flicked out a pocket knife and held it to the little space on my throat, resting on my main artery. "Dad, please, let him go." my friend tried again "If i let him go, then you have to show me a good time." his father said with an evil grin. i looked at my friend thru my good eye and he looked at me, whispering, "Im so sorry." then he ran off, locking his door. "NO! HELP ME! CALL THE FUCKING POLICE, DO SOMETHING!" i managed to yell, wasting air, but my friend just shouted back "I CANT! JUST FUCKING PRETEND OR SOMETHING!" the man chuckled, but stopped when he saw i wasnt hard anymore. so he took the blade to my stomach, cutting the word "Sinner" into it. i cried out, it hurt so bad! "Now ima do this one more time, and you better get it up." he said as he finished slicing me. i nodded fervorently, and closed my eyes, literally replaying every hot porno i had ever seen. his hand was rough with me now, squeezing too tight, it hurt. but i forced myself to ignore the pain and focus on the dirty images in my mind. once i was hard again, he pulled the belt tighter, just to hear me choke, then grabbed my legs and put them on his shoulders. i couldnt move, i was too scared, too weak. i could feel his dick at my entrance and i tensed up. then he shoved himself inside of me. i let out a strangled cry. FUCK IT HURT SO BAD! i could feel a warm liquid coming out of my hole and i knew it was blood by the thick sticky feel. he laughed and rammed into me, enjoying the sounds of my screams, enjoying the sounds of me gasping for breath and getting none, enjoying the complete control he had. i kept begging, trying my hardest to plead with him. but that only made him laugh harder. i hadnt noticed him continue to cut me, my arms, my neck, my stomach, everywhere. i just wished for death. then out of nowhere he shot into me, grunting. the feel of his cum filling me was so shocking, i felt my eyes widen, and i tensed, gasp/choking. "Told ja id take gud care o you." he whispered slamming my head against the tub, leaving. i took the belt off from around my neck and gasped for air. once i had it, i cried. there was a puddle of my blood beneath me and my ass was on fire. blood pourred from everywhere, my ass, my stomach, my neck, my legs, my arms, and now the back of my head. i didnt want to move, so i just lay in a broken pile and cried. i heard someone come into the bathroom and i closed my eyes tight, waiting for another blow, but it never came. "G-Gee? im so sorry, i didnt know what to do..." it was my friend. i opened my good eye and looked at him, he was staring at the floor. i was still wheezing, still hurting, but now i was pissed. he left me here. this is his fault. "I-i called the police, like you said... they should be here soon." "why didnt you help me?" i asked in a raspy whisper. he was going to answer till we heard the door bell. he ran to get it and i heard him say "In the bathroom, help him!" people ran up and i saw the police. they covered me up and lifted me from the tub. they had the man who did this in handcuffs, but he was smiling. when he caught my eye, he blew me a kiss.

i snapped out of it, gasping as if it had just happened. i curled into a ball and cried, because worse than the rape, worse than the flashbacks, worse than anything, was the fact that that had made me gay.

the man went to jail for life, and i didnt talk to the boy anymore. i never want to see him again. i started to cut after that, on the only place he hadnt hurt, my thighs.

he had cut everywhere else, except my thighs. that was the only part of me left. the only part i truely owned, so i cut them, to remind myself that i am a sinner, i am damned to hell, and i never have a chance at heaven.

there was a noise next to me and i froze.

"Gee, relax, it me." Mikey said, grabbing my hand.

"h-how'd you get in here?" i asked, my hand trembling.

"Gee, we dont need to do this." he whispered.

"Do what?"

"We dont need to hide it anymore, if we like eachother, why not be with eachother?"

"Mikey, i-" i was trying to tell him i didnt see him like that, but he pressed his lips to mine.

my breathing spiked, i was shaking head to toe, and i was trying to think of how to get him off me. he straddled me and i could feel his aroused member in his pajama bottoms, which was all he was wearing.

he was kissing me harder now, but pulled away suddenly and asked "Did you jack off already?"

"What?"

"Well, your not hard, and i am. im really hard, so i was wondering if you jacked off already."

"Yes! i did!" i said a little too excitedly. he smirked in the darkness and said "You mind helping me with my problem?"

i wanted to tell him that i did mind, very much.

but i knew what would happen. he would stop talking to me, he would join everyone else and call me crazy, and only he knew it was true. i couldnt lose my only and best friend, so i slowly reached into his pants and gently stroked him.

he moaned out a little and pulled his pants down so i could have full access.

i continued to give him a hand job, feeling the sticky pre-cum leak down.

"suck me Gee!" he gasped out.

"No, let just start with this." i said, not wanting to do anymore of anything with him.

"mmm, ok... ooh yeah Gee, just like that." he moaned as my thumb gently made little circles on his head, running along his slit.

after another minute or so he was trembling and said "i-im soo c-close!" he started whimpering, his hips gently bucking.

when he exploded, he growled out my name, gripping my hair and riding out his orgasm in my hand. when i thought he was done, he started making gentle little pumps and more jizz came out, just oozing from his tip. then he thrusted himself into my hand two more times and came again.

dear god, this boy could go on forever.

he pumped softly once more and once again oozed, then i felt his dick twitch in my hand, signally he was beyond empty.

he collasped back onto my floor and sighed happily while i looked for something to clean all this jizz off with.

it coated my whole hand and literally dripped onto my floor.

he suddenly grabbed my hand and licked some of his own seed off and then pulled me down and kissed me, ramming his tongue in my mouth. for the first time in my life tasted my little brother, and it made my stomach turn.

this was wrong, so very wrong.

i pulled away, not wanting to share spit or him anymore.

"I love you Gerard." he whispered and shoved his hand in my pants grabbing me. suddenly, anger rocked thru me and i pushed him away.

i guess he thought i wanted to be kinky and do some kind of role play, cuz he giggled and said "ive been bad, big brother, mommy sent me to stay in your room, wanna have some fun?" then he stroked my thighs, whispering "So bad, so fucking bad."

"Mikey get out." i said, trying not to sound too mean.

"Would you like to come in?" he asked, licking his lips.

"Mikey-" but he pulled me ontop of him and opened his legs, waiting for me to shove myself in him. i pulled away, but he only rolled us over and tried to do it himself.

i suddenly was blinded by rage and i pushed him off hard. he flew into the wall with a loud thud, i got up and growled, sounding demonish.

i could see him shrink against the wall, eyes wide. "G-Gee?" he asked in a whisper.

"Get your fucking pants and leave." i growled out, sounding scarier. he grabbed his pants and ran out.

i was mad, so fuckin mad.

i wanted to see blood, and not my own.

do it Gerard, make him pay for doing that to you. justin said.

i could feel my anger building even higher

Yes Gerard, feel the rage, let it burn through your forsaken veins, doesnt it feel good? Allie cooed.

"Yes... yes it feels good." i whispered to them.

i was seeing red, i could see through the dark room like daylight had broken loose. i wanted to taste blood, and lots of it.

Gerard, go. you have the blades dont you? he's thin, easy access to his arteries, easy access to his death. Go, go kill Michael. he used you, he took advantage of you, just like that man did. he made you do those things, what makes you think Michael wont? Go Gerard, Go. they both urged me.

"Yes, your right, your both right. he used me, he made me do those things, he forced me..." i walked over to my dresser in a trance, grabbing my blades, picking the sharpest ones.

then i walked robotically to Michael's room, stopping outside the door.