Disclaimer:

I don't not own anything. Sadly, Stephanie Meyer does. I own the idea of the story, and that is all.

Chapter 1

It's day one; the day after Edward was killed. So many question are in my head, and yet they will go unanswered. Why didn't Alice see this happening? She was the psychic of the Cullen's, I don't understand. Was she so focused on my own wedding, that she never once registered in her mind to look into the future for Edward? Or wait, Alice couldn't see me if I was with Jacob, so did that mean when she looked into the future, she saw nothing, but let it go. Did she this fight unravel in Edward's mind. I need these answers, and I needed them now. I was slipping away, and no one was there to stop it, to stop me from falling into a dark world. Edward was gone. He was my angel, my god, my one true love, my soul mate and now he's gone forever. I was going to spend the rest of my life with him by my side, and now I was flying solo.

Alice, oh hyperactive Alice, why didn't you see this happening?

I don't understand it. I can't come to terms with it. It being a death battle, the blood shed of my angel, and the fires going up, and black smoke destroying the once over casted sky. If Alice didn't see him, why didn't she tell anyone? Why didn't she tell me? If my own wedding was the cause of this, how was I to live with myself? Alice was to occupied, and her brothers life slipped through her mind unnoticed. What about Jasper? Did he sense anger, or anything in Edward's emotions that day? Ahhh! I was going insane, and I can't stop it. Every question played through out my head like a record and it was on repeat. My hands as shaky as an earthquake are closed around my face. My legs, are the only thing holding me up. They don't last long. Nothing in my body does, it's shutting down. Finally I give in. Collapsing onto my bed, I find a pillow and scream as long as I can into it. Time was ticking, and I was living my life without Edward every second. This wasn't suppose to happen. Screams could be heard through my house, but faintly enough none of my neighbors could here it. Was Charlie home? Who knew, No one was at my door to see if I was okay. So the screams kept coming out of my mouth. I never seized to stop them, they took over my body. A couple minutes, or a minute, I wasn't sure, took all the energy out of me. The last scream left my lips, and the tears began. I wasn't pushing my head in the pillow now. I was staring the clock. Shifting my body up was hard, but I managed to sit up straight enough despite the energy was gone in my body.

5:40 pm, Sunday night.

It's been exactly twenty-four hours since Edward's presences was here. Things began flashing before me all around my room. Every place held a part of him, even my body did. I hugged myself, and imagined it was Edward's cold arms around me. Sadly, I couldn't bring out any cold feeling in my body so I let my arms fall to my side. The spot of my bed were I was sitting was the exactly same spot he last kissed me. This kiss was so sweet, so passionate yet so rough at a point I almost fainted from not breathing. That kiss was maybe the last thing I could touch and I swear the coldness was still there. Fingertips brushed against my dry lips, and I closed my eyes for a second. The only person I saw in my black mind was Edward. His pale white skin, his topaz eyes Click. What was that? I glanced up at the clock, swearing in my head that only a vampire could hear the sound of it. Surprisingly I did hear it. Maybe I was going insane. Chocolate eyes of mine glanced at the clock, and I read the time out loud.

"5:41"

Startled a little at my own voice, my hand responded in going to my throat. Was that my voice? It was raspy, dry, and it hurt. Screaming really tore at my throat. Thinking once again- My mind went off. When I screamed, Did any of the Cullen's hear me scream? I let that sit in my mind a little till I thought about my dad. Charlie hasn't seen me since saturday morning. Of course he was worried, sometimes He would knock on my door and ask if I was fine but I just replied with a nod of my head and he would close my door and leave me alone. Sick of him always coming in, I locked my door for the first time in a while. Nothing stopped me from staying in the state I was in. Everyday I knew would be a difficult task, but I let Charlie worry about that for now. My room has become my home, not the place I stay in when I sleep, or do homework. It's my place of sorrow, and I choose to stay in it. I refuse to leave. Every second turns to a minute, and My energy slowly dies. No movement at all, I don't even push myself up when my legs begin to fall asleep. If my stomach growls, my mind doesn't register to get up and go get food, it's the least of my worries. Fragile legs of mine are bent close to my chest and my arms are draped around them in a hugging embrace. Last time I attempted to hug myself, nothing cold brushed against my skin. This time, a cold draft escaped into my room from under my door. I let myself shake, and tremble. Insane people sometimes were seen holding themselves, and rocking back and forth. Right now, I was that. Insane? Maybe, but I just rocked back and forth in a motion that would make me sick if I had food in my system. My attention turned to my door as I heard footsteps pass my door, and then stop.

Knock, Knock. Lifting my head off my knees, Charlie just knocked. Damn, He knew I locked it. Positioning myself back into the curled up ball on my bed I heard Charlie start to speak. He cleared his throat.

"Bella..."

A sigh followed after my name, and then he spoke up again. Leave me alone, was all I thought

"Bella please come out of your room. I brought home for you. It's downstairs and I want you to come down and eat some of it. We also have guests here, so please make yourself present."

I shook my head, as I lifted it off my knees. Tears emerged from my eyes, and cascaded down my cheek, and onto my shirt. Disappearing act of my tears, I said only the words I could only process, in a whisper loud enough for Charlie to hear.

"He's gone"

I heard footsteps going back downstairs, he was gone now and thats when it hit me. It's as if my body was under attack. My legs fell against my bed, and it seemed as If I were having a seizure but it was a panic attack. The third one today. My heart rate rises and doesn't show any sign of slowing down. That scares me. Even though that wasn't the only thing, I could feel my blood being pushed through my body rapidly, and my throat felt smaller. Air was being trapped inside me, and I couldn't get it out, or bring it in. Why was my throat closing? This panic attack was worse then the ones before, and thats when I stood up from my position and started gasping for air. Something was wrong, I couldn't breathe. I scratched at my throat, and tried to get air into my nose, and mouth. Nothing worked, so I thought I would try to get Charlie. The bed trembled as did my legs, and they slid off my bed in a swift movement. I moved to fast, and thats when it happened. My body, weak, and broken, fell off the bed with a loud thud. I saw nothing but darkness. I couldn't hear or see, maybe I was dead.

Charlie heard the the sound from Bella's room, and glanced at Jacob and Billy. Those were the guest's he was talking about. Jacob was a foot ahead of Charlie, and ran up the stairs. Being a werewolf, Jacob had strength Charlie didn't, and since Bella's room was locked. He took the opportunity to rip the door of the hinges. He set the door in the hallway, and rushed to Bella's side on the floor. He still thought of her as his best friend, even though yesterday Bella wanted to kill him. Jacob picked Bella's lifeless figure up, and placed her on the bed. His eyes stared at Charlie for an answer.

"Why isn't she opening her eyes?"

Jacob spoke up, but then turned to Bella. Her body laid limp in the bed, and his hands brushed against her cheek. Charlie shook his head and went to her window. He placed his fingers on the bottom and pushed up the window to let some cold air in.

"I don't know. She must of fainted or something. She hasn't eaten all day."

Charlie set himself beside Jake, and let his hands lay on Bella's legs.

I was coming back as Charlie spoke. I heard only eaten all day. I felt something, well, somethings that felt like hands on my body. My cheek was warm from the touch, but it didn't register. My leg almost had a hand on it, but it wasn't hot. Weird. I slowly, and when I mean slowly, I mean my was there, and I heard a few sighs, and felt presence in my room but to open my eyes was the hardest thing to do. It drained my life from me, so I kept them shut. A voice startled me, as it was only a foot from me.

"What are we to do" Jake said.

" I don't know, One minute she is telling me He's gone, and the next she passes out."

Charlie said, and just shook his head. Bella's been acting weird ever since Saturday night. He didn't understand it, but he soon would. Charlie stood up from Bella's bed, and stepped out of her room in a few steps, he turned his head and spoke to Jacob.

"Just call if she wakes, okay?"

Jacob nodded his head, and watched Charlie leave. I felt the only body left on my bed scoot closer. A tear fell from my cheek the second I realized it was Jacob. That tear slid past his eyes, but when the second one left mine, his hand brushed against my cheek to rid my face of any tears. His hand was warm, to warm for my liking. That energy that I didn't have anymore, was suddenly there. With a swift movement of my eyelid, my eyes were open. Shock was read all over his face. Surprise, I've waken from the dead. No joke in that, but I wonder what Jacob saw in my eyes – pain, hurt, anger, lifeless, depression. I wasn't sure but I saw his lips move. Damn it, Don't talk to me, I thought.

"Charlie, Bella's up."

Instinctively since I didn't want to hear his voice, my index fingers pushed against my ears and I tried to block out the sound. Shutting eyes tightly, might I add. I thought I was alone now, because the weight was off my bed. Jacob left. Before I had the chance to open my eyes, I felt arms go around me, and pull me up. Also, I was shaken, Charlie must of thought I fell unconscious again. Then I heard his voice, It sounded as if he was scared.

"Bella, Oh Bella, Open your eyes."

Responding as if I were commanded, my eyes flew open. The light that was seem through my eyes was dull, and surely Charlie would notice, but he just jumped as did Jacob when they saw my eyes. I scared both of them. Good, Leave me alone. Charlie looked at my face expressions, a face with only eyes that did something. My lips never moved, I didn't smile, and I didn't flinch. I stared. Charlie released the hug between us, and he mouthed sorry.My assumptions that Charlie would leave after that were wrong. Dull eyeballs of mine stared off into space, into a deep thought. In reality it wasn't a deep thought, believe me when I say this. I was numb once again and nothing registered to me. The only thing I knew how to do was to shake, to tremble. Everything inside my ached, every muscle seemed to spasm in pain and every inch of me shook. So of course, Charlie stared at me for a moment, and then his arms were back around me in a hug. I stiffened under him, and didn't mold myself into a hug. I just sat there. At least my trembling body stopped.

"Bella you scared me to death."

Death, Oh that sent me off. Maybe I was registering things in my mind because someone, something told me "Push him away, He's going to bring you down again." Well, I responded to that and my arms straightened out as my hands pressed flat against his chest and pushed with all my might. Tears did emerge when I did this, and my raspy voice broke the silence as pushing Charlie was succeeding.

"Get Out!!"

My voice did scare me, but it worked. They hit him harder then I thought, but I would be alone now. Silence was something I could live, and being alone just added to my own happiness. And to think, that happiness wasn't Webster's definition of it. I created my own meaning, and it was not about smiles, or being happy. My happiness was when I saw Edward in my dreams, or when I simply cried to be with him. All I knew now was I was going to be alone for a little while and I gave in to my weak body, and fell into my bed. I didn't cling to the sheets, I laid there in a small curled up ball and let the tears fall from my eyes. The heaven's would surely see my pain, and kill me. If not, I would end own my life, but I didn't stop to think that Alice could see this happening. Misery, and Pain engulfed me, and I close my eyes for the day all alone was going to end. I suffered trying to sleep but the instant I saw Edward in my dreams, I smiled, and spoke out.

"Edward, I need you.
I miss you, I love you."

Guessing by the way my dream was going, I broke into sobs, wet, and painful, but it was something I was okay with. My dream started to fade, and I saw Edward disappear. It's been a year since Charlie heard me wake up screaming because of Edward leaving me. Now, He would be hearing it again as my screams echoed through the house, and my body laid in that round ball and my sheets soaked with my own sweat. I didn't bother opening my eyes, because I fell back into a dream invading sleep only to be connected with my Edward once again. This process happened every 2 hours, and by then, I was becoming weaker. Daylight would soon wake me up completely, but until then my screams, my tears, and my dreams of Edward would occur.