Hey Murayama Tsuru here. I have returned with the second chapter of this slightly ridiculous story. For those of you who are confused by what happened with the witch; you should be. Don't worry, I'm confused about too, so I'll try and find an explanation later…ah…I wasn't supposed to say that…What I meant was that…all will be explained later…well anyway, here's the second chapter. I hope you enjoy.

Disclaimer: I don't own Gintama; it's the property of Sorachi Hideaki-Sensei. But I wish I owned Gintama, that would make me a comedic genius!

Kamui was in his office when he heard the rumors. Frankly, he was pretty happy for his second in command; but he'd never say that aloud. If Abuto had finally gotten over Kada, that was probably a good thing. But then came a blood-curdling scream, and a small frown settled on Kamui's lips. Then the complaints came pouring in, which was when Kamui decided he had to do something.

It wasn't that what they were doing was…bad…exactly, it was more that Kamui liked to be the only really loud one…ok…that came out wrong, but that's beside the point. Abuto was the one being loud with his new girlfriend, and it was disturbing the peace. So Kamui stood up and went to Abuto's room.

But he wasn't there, and Kamui's eyebrows knitted in consternation, "If they're not doing 'it' in his room where else where wou…Abuto, that dog, he's becoming more and more like Hosen every day." Kamui chuckled as a light went off in his head

So Kamui then walked over to Abuto's bathroom, grinning. When he got there, he yelled, "Oi, Abuto, you in there? I've heard some complaints about screaming women in your bathroom." But there was no answer.

So, Kamui tried again, "Abuto, I know you're in there. If you and your girlfriend can't keep it down, I'll be forced to come in there and shut you up myself." But there still wasn't an answer. Feeling annoyed, Kamui glared at the door, willing Abuto to feel the force of his look through the thick wood. But that still didn't work.

So, Kamui did the rational thing and tried the doorknob, it was locked. Then Kamui did the irrational thing and kicked the door, having lost all patience with Abuto. But, no one was in the bathroom. A window stood open, though signaling that someone had probably left through it. Kamui's antenna twitched once, twice; and not sensing Abuto in the general area, Kamui turned around and left, feeling bored. The people who had watched this scene felt sorry for Abuto; because when Kamui actually found him, there would be hell to pay for sure.

Meanwhile, outside the ship, Abuto was in the water where the ship was docked. Mentally sighing in relief, Abuto thought to himself, "God, I'm glad there was window in that bathroom. I don't know how I would have escaped that situation otherwise."

But, Abuto's relief soon turned into a grimace as he surfaced. With a hiss, he took a breath and went back underwater. Abuto cursed himself for forgetting that he left his umbrella back in his room. He contemplated going back to his room and getting it, but decided against it in the end; with his rotten luck, he'd inevitably run into the admiral, and everything would just blow up in Abuto's face.

So, Abuto swam over to the concrete part of the harbor and hauled himself up as fast as he could; before the sun's stinging rays could have their way with him. This was a lot harder than one would think with only one arm.

Once Abuto was out of the water, he threw his cape over his head. He then stood, supporting the cape with his arm and started looking for a convenience store to buy a new umbrella.

Once Abuto actually found a convenience store (who knew there were none in the harbor). The only person in the store was a gangly teenager manning the checkout area (it was a really small convenience store). The boy's looked changed from extremely bored, to jaw on the floor lovestruck as Abuto walked by. Abuto hardly noticed, though, and walked straight to where the umbrellas were. He was rather disappointed by their selection; most were clear, or had unnecessary patterns on them and none of them had any sort of weapon at the tip. Abuto sighed, how anyone could find a decent umbrella on Earth, these seemed so completely worthless, hardly ably to keep rain away, much less the sun.

Abuto then spied a plain black umbrella and picked it up. He put it back almost immediately, though, because the frills on it made Abuto want to gag; who in their right mind would use this thing!

Abuto sighed again grumpily and chose one of the other opaque umbrellas they had; it was a blue, Chinese style umbrella with white ring at the top. When he took it up to the counter, the teenager who had been staring at him blushed fiercely and started trying to make conversation.

Abuto, growing impatient at the boy's stuttering, finally snapped, "Will you just ring up the damn umbrella already? I don't have time for your hormones."

The boy, only half registering what Abuto said, finally managed to ring up the umbrella and said a little dreamily, "thanks for reminding me what to do, miss. That'll be 500 yen."

Abuto reached for the wallet in his cape, but stopped when he realized something. With a coy smile, Abuto said to the clerk, "It seems as though I've forgotten my wallet. If you could, would you be able to help me out…?"

The boy blinked, "Um…I-I don't think I'm allowed to do that…"

"Well, think of it this way…" Abuto batted his eyes, laughing hysterically on the inside as the boy struggled to breathe, "Life is full of choices. And if you choose do to this for me; I'll make it worth your while."

The boy swallowed thickly, and then looked around to make sure his boss wasn't around. Seeing no one, the boy turned back to Abuto, a dark blush staining his cheeks. He then took out his wallet, and Abuto could practically see the thoughts running through his head.

Abuto, having seen enough, ruffled the kid's head. The teen gave Abuto a confused look as he took a thousand Yen note.

"Keep the change." Abuto winked as he turned and sashayed out the door. A low chuckle escaped Abuto's lips as he exited, sending tingles running up the clerk's spine; and leaving him knowing nothing else interesting would happen today.

Abuto, finally in a good mood, opened his new umbrella as he got outside. He started walking aimlessly, figuring he should probably try and find that witch again; but it didn't seem all that important at the moment.

As he was walking though, he began hearing wolf-whistles. He tried to ignore them, he really did, but it seemed as if the idiots were following him. Abuto kept walking, his good mood slipping away with every whistle.

Soon, it got annoying enough, that Abuto finally turned around, growling, "If you don't cut that out right now, you're really going to regret it,"

Not seeing anyone directly behind him, he lifted his umbrella and surveyed the surrounding area. There weren't too many people around that looked like they'd be so overtly annoying. And then his eyes landed on three high school dropout looking guys.

When the three saw that Abuto had spotted them, they started the whistling up again. Abuto walked up to them, glaring, and the one who seemed to be the leader called out in an arrogant voice, "Hey boys, looks like she finally caught on to us."

Abuto sighed, he really wished these three idiots would go away, but that didn't seem likely to happen any time soon. Abuto turned to leave, not seeing any point in staying if all they were going to was talk about him like he wasn't there.

But before he could get more than a step away, someone put a hand on his shoulder, and said in an almost threatening voice, "Hey, honey where you going? You gonna leave us without having any fun?"

Abuto sighed again; they really weren't going to make this easy, were they. He then turned around and said as coldly as he could, "I just came over here to see what those annoying sounds following me were. Now, I can see that your bark is worse than your bite, so I'll be going."

The grip on Abuto's shoulder tightened, but Abuto wasn't too concerned, he could take these three easily. One of the two lackeys then commented, "Hey, boss, she's got an umbrella. That must mean she's one of them Yate we've been hearing about. Heh, heh I bet she likes to play rough."

Abuto could not stop the groan that escaped his lips. He then ground out, annoyed, "You guys really are idiots. 'Yate', you've got to be kidding me. It's Yato, and yes, I'm proud to say I'm a part of that race. And if you don't remove your hand from my shoulder soon, you will learn the true meaning of the word."

"You're right, Kazuma. She sure does seem to be a feisty one. I'm sure it'll be even more fun to play with her now."

"If that's your idea of a compliment," Abuto snorted, "Then you are sorely mistaken. I hadn't realized that guys could be this obnoxious."

"You must be really sheltered if you just finding out now how persistent guys can be."

"No," Abuto said thoughtfully, "Not sheltered. I'm just seeing things from a new perspective."

To himself Abuto thought, 'If I find these guys annoying, I wonder what Kada thought of me…'

Abuto must have missed something the guy said because the next thing he knew; he was narrowly dodging a sloppily thrown punch. And the leader hooligan then began yelling angrily in Abuto's face, "You bitch, how dare you ignore me like that, and then dodge my punch like it was nothing."

Abuto gave the guy a withering look, "That's what you're mad about? No wonder you don't have a girlfriend, you get mad way too easily."

The hoodlum turned red in anger and started spluttering. Once he could actually make a coherent sentence, he glared at Abuto, furious, "How dare you make fun of the Yusuke of the Reikai gang! If you weren't asking for a fight before, then you sure are now. Prepare yourself, Yato woman!" Abuto grinned; this was going to be fun. If it was a fight these idiots wanted, then it was a fight they'd get.

Abuto took his stance as the leader came at him (he was amazed they weren't coming at him all at once). Now since Abuto had only one arm, and it wasn't raining so he needed it to block the sun, he used kicks as his primary method of fighting.

Once they hoodlum was close enough, Abuto kicked out. But, the kicked stopped short of Yusuke, which confused Abuto immensely. Abuto then realized that he had tried kicking Yusuke from the distance he would as a man. Abuto groaned, this was not going to be as easy as he thought.

Yusuke smirked seeing Abuto's kick had missed him, "Looks like this going to be an easy fight, boys. I'm bettin' I can take of her all myself. Then we can brag that these Yato aren't as good as they say they are."

At that, Abuto saw red. They were not going to get off insulting the Yato just because Abuto wasn't at 100% fighting condition. Abuto looked up to the sky and saw his chance.

The sun was hiding behind a cloud, so Abuto threw his umbrella up and ran toward Yusuke, who was still yuking it up with his lackeys. Once the poor leader of the Reikai gang actually noticed Abuto, it was too late. The punch hit so hard that he went flying, only half registering what had just happened.

The two lackeys watched in stunned silence as their boss landed hard behind them. Realizing what had just happened, they ran over to their unconscious leader, checking to make sure he wasn't dead.

The two then looked over at Abuto, who had retrieved his umbrella and was walking away. The one called Kazuma then yelled at Abuto, furious "We'll remember this you Yato bitch!"

Abuto chuckled and without looking back replied, "Abayo, Reikai Gang flunkies, I'll remember your sorry mugs as well."

Abuto then resumed his walk, his good mood reignited somewhat. He was thinking he'd go try his luck at a Pachinko parlor, when someone tapped him on the shoulder and an annoyingly familiar voice said, "That was some fight back there. I was a little worried for you, but I saw that you were a Yato, so I didn't step in to help."

Abuto turned and saw the silver hair he didn't want to see that matched with the voice he didn't want to hear. Behind him was Sakata Gintoki, grinning like the idiot Abuto thought he was. Abuto grimaced internally, thinking, 'This guy will be nothing but trouble for me.'

And that is the end of the second chapter. I think this chapter brought out my sadistic side a little, but I couldn't help it! If I were in Abuto's position, I'd probably do the same thing. I hope you all enjoyed this chapter as well and I hope to see you in the next one. As always reviews are always appreciated!

-Murayama Tsuru