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He was the youth pastor.
The fucking youth pastor?
Not that I would have minded fucking the youth pastor, but –
No, Leah. Just no.
Christ on a cracker.
He was gorgeous: high cheekbones and clear skin that any girl would kill to have. I noticed the sharp, defined jaw covered in a five o'clock shadow and realized that he was much older than I'd initially thought. Early- to mid-twenties at least.
I couldn't keep my eyes off him while he did devotions and small group activities with the kids. After the initial chaos had died down, some of the kids were put into groups according to age, and Edward would spend a few moments with each group. They would talk and then pray. A few of them cried and I wished I was closer so I knew what was going on. I wanted to know what made kids cry these days.
My brother never cried. Not when Dad died; not when our mom married Charlie.
Maybe he was broken.
Fuck, maybe I was broken, too.
Watching the way they blatantly poured out their hearts and told their problems to Edward made me wonder how it could be so easy for them. This guy was practically a complete stranger to these kids and they completely trusted him. Teenagers are notorious for not trusting adults.
I didn't even talk to my mother the way they talked to Edward. I surely wouldn't have talked to someone I hardly knew like that. Edward deserved a medal for getting them to open up like this.
It reminded me of how my mom tried to get me to go to therapy when Dad died. I didn't want to talk about it, especially to some nutcase that was supposedly qualified because they had a degree hanging on their wall. I'd found plenty of other ways to clear my head.
I'd become a regular at the little hole-in-the-wall bar that Quil owned in La Push. I'd been there the night of my DUI. Sam used to take me there all the time. That is, before he started fucking my cousin behind my back. Things changed after Emily got pregnant. Sam married her and they spent their nights at home wrapped up in their little family. It was disgusting, really. I'd never seen the kid, though my mom told me it wasn't totally unfortunate looking if you could look past its giant head.
I didn't think too much about Sam and Emily; neither one of them were worth it to me. Besides, after Sam and I split up I got "custody" of our friends. Paul and Embry were fun to hang out with most of the time. Paul could get handsy sometimes (hence the decking), but that was where it ended. He knew that if I were going to wake up in anyone's bed after a night out it was Embry's. Embry and I both knew that what went on between us was strictly casual. Neither one of us were looking for, nor were in the position to be in, a serious relationship. Embry made me feel wanted, something I'd stopped feeling when Sam and Emily started fucking around.
I hadn't seen much of the guys since my DUI. That mostly had to do with my not having a driver's license. And the fact that Charlie had gotten me a job working dispatch at the police department. The job was mainly because he and my mother didn't want me lying around the house all day, seeing as I'd stopped taking my journalism classes in Port Angeles when I refused to ride the bus. It was also convenient to work in the same place since he could drive me while my beautifully restored Camaro sat unused in the garage.
I refocused my attention on the kids in front of me and was surprised to see them moving around again. I watched Edward pull the kids into a kumbaya kind of circle and take out an old, leather-bound book. Oh, it was a Bible. He opened it and started reading and, though I didn't listen to the words or quite care what they meant, listening to his voice sent a weird, warm shiver through my body.
Shit, I thought. I really am going to hell.
Edward talked about the scripture he'd read, then reminded the kids about a meeting they were having on Tuesday regarding the group camping trip. He closed in prayer before letting them go.
I bowed my head with them and picked at my nails while he prayed. I hadn't heard many people pray, but the way Edward did it was different than the ones I had heard. There was nothing glamorous about it; he wasn't doing it to let people know that he knew how to pray. His voice was quiet as he spoke, asking for forgiveness of sins and guidance throughout the week.
There was a chorus of "amens" and the group dispersed. They pushed out the door beside me and spilled into the parking lot. Some got into cars while others took off walking in different directions. I watched Edward talk to parents and give high-fives to the kids until no one was left but the two of us and a small black-haired girl who looked like a little gothic version of Snow White.
"Oh, hey! You're still here." He smiled when he saw me. His teeth were too straight, too perfect. I wanted to lick them, to curl up into that pretty mouth of his and feel his voice vibrate through me.
"Where else would I be?" I questioned and fought against my eye roll. Be nice, be nice, be nice, I chanted in my head. Well, my mother chanted in my head. Then I really did roll my eyes.
"I thought you might have run out on us." Edward stepped around me and went back into the hall where he started cleaning up soda cans and candy wrappers off of the floor. No fucking wonder the kids were acting so damn crazy earlier. Maybe I should clue him in about some healthy snack ideas.
The black-haired girl climbed up onto the stage and gently removed the electric guitar from its stand. She sat on the edge of the stage like Edward had done earlier and plucked at the strings. Only a soft twang could be heard as she went through different chords.
"Be careful, Alice," Edward warned. The girl, Alice, rolled her eyes but nodded before carefully packing the guitar in its case. She hopped down from the stage and helped him with the last bit of trash before he turned off the lights and led us out the door. She brought the guitar with her and he laughed softly because it was nearly as big as she was.
"Thanks." He took it from her and opened the door. I stepped out first and Alice quickly followed. Edward locked the door behind us.
"Do you need a ride home?" Edward asked me as the three of us began to cross the parking lot. Great, he knew I didn't have a license. Of course he knew. I hated this town.
"No thanks. I'm sure the Chief will make sure I get home safe and sound." I tried to keep the annoyance from my voice, but not really. I was annoyed. I was annoyed and angry at Charlie's… perfection. Everyone in the surrounding area practically worshipped the ground the guy walked on. Even Seth. I hated it. I hated that he'd been my dad's best friend and now he was fucking my mother. My poor father was probably rolling over in his grave.
"He's a nice guy." Edward smiled again. I was pretty sure I was the only person in the world who felt the way I did about Charlie.
If I were completely honest with myself, Charlie wasn't that bad. He loved my mother, was a good solid male figure for my brother, but… for me? He wasn't my dad. I missed my dad. I missed him even more when Charlie came to pick me up with Seth. In my car. With my fifteen-year-old brother behind the wheel.
"Oh, you have got to be fucking kidding me!" I cried. Edward coughed lightly beside me. I turned to him, slightly embarrassed and ready to apologize. Alice looked at me with a wide smirk, her dark hair covering most of her face and her big blue eyes lined with dark eyeliner. I noted the curve of her cheekbones and how the slope of her perfect nose was similar to Edward's and assumed they were related somehow.
"Sorry," I mumbled. Alice rolled her eyes but Edward shrugged.
"Not like we haven't heard swearing before," he explained with a smile. "Hey, Chief!" Edward greeted my stepfather with a smile and a handshake while Seth lingered behind him, his eyes locked on the skinny, dark-haired girl beside me. Alice glared at my brother for a moment before holding her hand out to Edward. He sighed and reached into his pocket, handing her a set of keys.
"I'll be right there," he told her as she walked away toward a newer-looking sedan across the lot.
"How are things going so far?" Charlie asked. Edward shoved his hands in his pockets and shrugged.
"Not bad. Kids are okay. Seem to be warming up just fine." I couldn't help but notice the small smile he wore. It wasn't smug. In fact, it was the complete opposite. He seemed generally surprised that the kids were being cooperative and opening up to him.
"You'll do fine." Charlie patted his shoulder and turned to me. "Ready?"
I didn't answer. Instead I stalked past him and slid into the backseat of my car in silence. Seth climbed in the passenger seat and turned to me tentatively.
"I just wanted to practice a little. And Charlie said it's not good for a car to just sit around…" He trailed off at my icy glare.
"I don't give a fuck what Charlie thinks. The next time I see you practice in my car I rip your fucking hands off." Seth sighed but didn't respond because Charlie opened the driver side door.
"Finished practicing?" he asked Seth.
"I didn't want to upset Leah," my brother mumbled. I scoffed. By "upset me" he clearly meant "I want to keep my limbs."
"Oh, I'm sure your sister doesn't care. It's not like she can drive the car. It needs to be used." Charlie reached over and mussed Seth's hair.
"No, I don't care. I don't care that you let a fifteen-year-old drive the car that I saved for years to buy. The car that I helped Jake restore and that I buy the gas for and pay for the upkeep. No, I don't care at all," I muttered under my breath and seethed in the backseat, glaring at Charlie in the rearview mirror.
The rest of the drive was silent. Once we were inside I went right past my mother and to my room. I dialed Embry's number quickly. I needed to get out of the house.
xXx
"Ugh. C'mon. I'm not in the mood." I pushed Embry off me for what felt like the hundredth time.
"Then why did you call me?" he asked as his hand traveled up my thigh and under the hem of the jean skirt I'd thrown on.
Okay, fine. There was a reason why I'd called him. And a reason that I'd put on a tiny piece of denim and no underwear. But then I changed my mind.
"Just take me to Quil's. I wanna dance." I slid farther away from him and crossed my arms in front of me.
"You sound like Dane Cook." He snorted as he turned his truck back on.
"What?" I asked as he pulled back onto the road and headed for the bar.
"He has this skit where he makes fun of girls because they always say things like that. I just wanna dance." He imitated me with a nasally voice and a lisp.
"It's a good thing you have a nice dick." I shook my head and looked out the window as we drove. I missed La Push, especially now that I didn't have a way to get out here. The streets I used to drive down with my dad, my old school, our old house. Everything was so easy before Dad's heart attack.
"What are you thinking about?" Embry reached over and I moved even closer to the door. He continued to hold out his hand, palm up, with his eyes still on the road I reluctantly took his hand, lacing my fingers with his. It was nice to pretend that we were more than we were sometimes.
"How fucked up everything is," I admitted just as he pulled into the gravel parking lot of Quil's.
He turned my palm toward him and kissed it softly. I closed my eyes and pretended again.
"Let's go. There's some new guy playing tonight and Quil said he's awesome."
I followed him up to the bar, the smell of stale beer and smoke recognizable from the parking lot. Quil had an amazing ear for music. He had a ton of local artists coming in and out of the bar each week. It was one of the main reasons the place was still open.
"Damn," I breathed as we walked in the door. The place was packed. The guy must be good if the crowd was that big on a Sunday night.
"Right? Quil said he's some kid from Chicago. Had like, classical training or some shit and likes to play in dive bars. How crazy is that?"
"Crazy," I muttered and led the way to the bar. I ordered us a couple of beers and Embry found a table with Paul and his flavor of the week. Paul gave me a noncommittal nod, not meeting my eyes, and I smirked, remembering the way his face felt when it collided with my fist. I looked around and noticed the crowd was… not normal.
"From what I heard, this guy is something else to look at." Paul's date leaned across the table after noticing my confused look.
"Is that why all the whores are out?" Embry asked as he slipped an arm behind my chair.
We laughed but Paul scoffed.
"I saw him earlier. He's nothing special. Kind of weird looking."
"Not your type?" I asked him and he glared at me. "Oh, come on. I thought we were friends again." I pouted and he rolled his eyes.
"Just don't fucking punch me again."
"Keep your hands to yourself then, sweetheart." I patted his cheek and took a sip of my beer. Paul flinched away but didn't have a chance to respond because the sound of an acoustic guitar filled the dingy bar and everyone's attention turned to the little stage up front.
Then his voice came and the crowd parted in front of me, like the fucking Red Sea or something. I choked on my beer and coughed loudly. Of course I would think something biblical because there, slouched on the ratty old stool in my hole-in-the-wall bar, looking like an angel who'd been kicked out of heaven, was the youth pastor.
Edward fucking Cullen.