I never meant to make this a multi-chapter fic, but this just appeared, and i figure what the hell. if you like it, i will continue. if not, blah.
Since our last trip to the RENT dressing room, the characters inside had changed a bit. Angel was alternately brushing her wig and trying out different colors of lipstick. Maureen was lying on the floor, thumbing through a magazine with a picture of a blond man and a Latina woman embracing on the cover. Benny, having a slightly anal-retentive need to color everything perfectly, was still working on his Rent: The Movie coloring book. He was doing the "Goodbye Love" page, and Mimi's coat was driving him crazy.
"Hey Angel, do you think I'm 'shallow, melodramatic, and energetic'?" Maureen asked, turning over onto her stomach and gazing up at the drag queen on the couch.
"Um…honey, why do you want to know?"
"Well, this quiz I took says that I am, and also that I'm 'inconsiderate, headstrong, and viv…vivacious'. Ooh, vivacious sounds good. But c'mon, I'm not really shallow, am I?" Angel shifted uncomfortably.
"Not…all the time…" Maureen shrugged and went back to her magazine. Angel, relieved that she hadn't sparked another hissy fit, picked up her brush again. Benny growled as his crayon slipped a little, and the sleeve of Mimi's coat blurred at the lines.
"Oh god," gasped Mimi as she stumbled in the door. She was dressed in a black bikini top and shiny blue sparkle pants. Collapsing onto the couch, she closed her eyes and sighed, her head lolling wearily.
"Girl, what's your problem?" asked Angel, putting down her brush and shaking her wig out. Mimi groaned and turned her head to look at Angel.
"I have been in so many fics that it's not even funny. I'm freaking tired, don't the writers get it? Plus, my mouth is numb because I've had to make out with Roger, Mark, and god knows how many OCs in the last couple hours! Oh, and some idiot got my movie costume and my stage costume mixed up, so now I'm half-blue and half-topless!" She groaned again. Angel rolled her eyes.
"Honey, be happy you have fics to be in. The last fic I was in was K+ with nothing more than hugging and cheek kissing. Everyone cries at my death scene in the movie and the musical, but do they actually write fics about me? No! And I get forced into the worst clothes you can imagine, I'm not kidding." Mimi didn't argue. She had seen Angel's ensemble in most fics.
"Hey, people might not write about you much, but you're the universal 'favorite character'! I'm just a bitch who gets to screw random people when writers need drama!" Maureen raised herself onto her elbows and glared at Angel, who rolled her eyes again.
"Maureen, that's your favorite thing to do," Mimi pointed out. Maureen shrugged and mumbled, "It still hurts."
"Hey, what about me? I have three uses in life: sleep with Mimi for conflict, talk about sleeping with Mimi for conflict, or ask for the rent and then sleep with Mimi for conflict! I have a soul too, you know!" Like always, everyone ignored Benny.
"Anyway, where are the guys? Is it possible that there's a fic going on without any girls?" Mimi glanced around, as though hoping to see Mark or Roger or Collins lurking in a corner.
"Hey, what about Joanne? She's not here either." Angel shrugged and capped a lipstick.
"I know that Mark and Roger have some T-rated Mark/Roger going, but I'm not sure about Collins or Joanne." Maureen rolled her eyes.
"I can't believe Collins is in a fic and I'm not. I mean, come on. No one ever reads fics about him," Maureen complained. Angel glared at her.
"That's not true!"
"Compare Collins stories to Maureen ones, hmm?" Maureen pointed out, raising an eyebrow. Angel was just about to snap back when Joanne walked in the door, hurriedly buttoning the top button on her shirt.
"Jo! Where the hell have you been?" asked Mimi. Joanne jumped as though Mimi had yelled at her.
"Um…nowhere. Not doing much, you know, just…um…nothing." Angel frowned as she watched Joanne nervously sit on the edge of a chair. Mimi was also looking a little suspicious. Maureen, however, was not paying attention. She had turned back to her magazine.
"Were you in a fic or something?" asked Angel. Joanne shrugged.
"I might have been…we all are, you know, because we're fanfic characters…right?" Angel sighed.
"Joanne, I keep telling you, stay out of Collins' pot stash. You know it makes you freaky." Joanne shook her head so fast it was a blur.
"I did not go into his pot stash! I just…I dunno, I'm jumpy." Joanne's eyes darted around the room, lingering every so often on Maureen. Angel and Mimi looked confusedly at each other for a moment. Then understanding dawned on their faces, and Mimi groaned. Angel looked back at Joanne with one eyebrow raised.
"Which of the guys did you have to fuck this time?" Maureen looked up so fast it was a miracle she didn't get whiplash.
"Who's talking about fucking? Pookie?" Joanne cowered under Maureen's glare.
"What? I don't know what you're talking about!" Joanne exclaimed. For a moment, she kept up the indignant look. Then her shoulders slumped and she sighed.
"It was a stupid Mark/Joanne fic. God, I hate them…" Maureen squealed in fury. Angel and Mimi rolled their eyes, while Benny finally looked up from the "Today 4 U" page.
"You had to fuck Mark again? I hate that! It's bad enough that I sleep with everyone and his brother or sister, but when they pair you with Mark, they go too far!" Maureen leapt up and ran out the door, slamming it behind her. Angel rolled her eyes, and Joanne buried her head in her hands.
"I can't believe how worked up she gets about these things. It's ridiculous; she fucks the rest of us and all the characters from other fics all the time, but they pair you with Mark and she blows a fuse," Mimi said. Angel snorted.
"Blow a fuse? Mimi, it's ten to one she'll make some eleven year old writer cry and then beat the shit out of Mark. It's a little more than blowing a fuse." Joanne moaned.
"Jesus. The thing is, I actually don't like Mark/Joanne that much. I mean…" she looked nervously at the door, then leaned in towards the two on the couch. "Mark's a nice guy and everything…but doing those fics with him—"
"Hon, it's not a secret that Mark sucks at sex and every other thing those horny writers make us do with him. It's like, come on, people! Just because he's got a scarf and he's the color of milk doesn't mean it's at all pleasant to get into bed with him!" Mimi complained. Angel nodded.
"You couldn't have said it better, girl. And there aren't half as many Mark/Mimi fics as there are Mark/Angels." Angel shuddered. "It's bad enough when the pinheads make me straight, but Mark? The poor little guy is just not that good, and that's a fact. I just plain prefer Collins over all the rest of you, if you want the truth." Mimi sighed.
"Lucky. You actually like your canon pairing. I mean, Roger can be nice and all, but…he's so—"
"So what?" asked Roger as he walked in the door.
The crazy thing is, there are more Mark/Mimi fics that Mark/Angel ones. I checked! but oh well. I'm sorry, but Mark really doesn't seem like he'd be that great...it's just my thoughts. i love that little Markypoo, we all know that.