Chapter 2: Road Trip!!
Voltar pried open the door to Dr. Frogg's lab with a crowbar. "Henchbots 17 and 32!" He beckoned his mechanized minions. "Stand to attention! You have EVIL to assist me with!" he looked around. They were no where in sight.
Cursing under his breath, Voltar began to strip search the lab for his Henchbots. He even checked Dr. Frogg's utility closet and junk drawer, leaving the area a huge wreck. Feeling extremely annoyed after ten minutes of searching with no results, he tossed a wrench at one of the shelves, knocking over and triggering several blaster rays. Voltar ducked behind the work table, barely avoiding being disintegrated. He exhaled an infuriated growl. "They took the Henchbots too?"
Meanwhile, several miles down the highway, Dr. Frogg and Red Menace were making good time in the V-Mobile. Dr. Frogg put his advanced technical know-how to good use the night before and gave the L.O.S.E. jalopy a much needed tune up for the trip. Although the vehicle was still an eyesore, the motor ran like that of a brand new mustang. To reward himself for his efforts the mad scientist drove first, fifteen miles above the speed limit of course. He felt so alive behind the wheel, feet gracing the gas pedal and wind whipping through his messy blue hair. And best of all, there was no irritating backseat driving from Voltar!
The Henchbots sat in the back, playing polka on their boom box. Normally Dr. Frogg would have programmed them to play Rock Gothlington's "Pick Your Poison (Or I'll Pick it For You!)" live tour album, but in honor of October Fest, he allowed the polka. He and Red Menace were already half way through their first can of beer. Red Menace drank from a "Thirst Aid" helmet to keep his hands free.
"WE ARE SUPER EVIL MEN!
WE RAISE HELL 'TILL FIVE A.M.!
ALTHOUGH WE'RE BOUND BY VILLAIN LAW,
WHAT GOES ON TOUR STAYS ON TOUR!" They sang zealously in unison.
Red menace laughed as he leaned back in his seat. He sucked on his "Thirst Aid" helmet straw, savoring the smooth flavor of the beer. "You think we were too hard on Voltar?" He asked timidly. "I mean, it's for his own good that he stayed behind, but I think it really hurt that we didn't invite him for the ride."
Dr. Frogg snorted. "He'll get over it." He assured his soft hearted comrade.
"I'm a little nervous." he admitted. "You think Voltar and Doomie will be all right by themselves?"
Dr. Frogg shrugged. "No."
"Maybe we should go back for them."
"NO!" Dr. Frogg cried in protest.
"Then…maybe I should call the lair; see if they're doing okay."
"No!"
Red Menace frowned, distraught. "Then what should I do?"
"Keep drinking." Dr. Frogg instructed, flicking the brim of his beer holder helmet. "Voltar will be fine. Like I said, he'll get over it. And even if he doesn't, oh fucking well! I need a few days away from the lair- and away from that little pest and that rabid mutt." he added with a low growl.
Red Menace shrugged. "It never hurts to travel. Still, Voltar is part of the team. I could have looked out for him had he gone with us; made sure he stayed sober."
"To hell with the team!" Dr. Frogg slammed his steel clawed fist against the dash board. "Voltar is NOT ruining October Fest for me! It's the only holiday I truly give a shit about. I looked forward to it every year when I was a child. Though I suspect the Metroville October Fest will pale in comparison to the festivals we throw in Munich."
"I don't know. The brochure said it's really authentic."
Dr. Frogg cracked a smug smirk. "I'll be the judge of that. Hand me another, would you, Red?" He asked, extending a claw.
"Maybe we should wait until we get to the festival grounds before we really start drinking. I promised Voltar we would be responsible."
"You don't have to promise that puny lush anything! Beer me!"
Red Menace climbed over his seat, reached into Henchbots 17's mouth and pulled out a cold beer. Dr. Frogg also converted the Henchbots into walking coolers the night before, so they could sneak their own supply of alcohol into the festival. Red Menace didn't like the idea of smuggling in drinks. That seemed too much like stealing, but Dr. Frogg insisted it would be cheaper to get wasted that way.
Red Menace handed his mad scientist pal the beer. Dr. Frogg popped open the tab with ease, as if his claws were designed to do just that task, and started chugging. Once he gulped down the very last sip, he tossed the empty can over his shoulder. He glanced to his side and noticed Red Menace squirming in his seat. "Relax. I'm taking the back roads. No one will pull us over. Besides, I can hold my liquor. Trust me."
"If you say so." Red Menace replied with a smirk before taking another long sip from his "Thirst Aid" helmet. He sat back, resting his feet on the dash board. "But let me know if you start to get tipsy so I can take over the wheel."
Dr. Frogg couldn't help but laugh. "Okay Red, I'll be sure to do that."
"WE ARE SUPER EVIL MEN!
WE RAISE HELL 'TILL FIVE A.M.!
ALTHOUGH WE'RE BOUND BY VILLAIN LAW,
WHAT GOES ON TOUR STAYS ON TOUR!" They chanted once again. It was going to be a good trip…
Meanwhile, at the L.O.S.E lair…
"GENIUS!" Voltar declared as he hopped down from the stack of chairs set up in front of the bathroom door (the downstairs bathroom, not his private one of course). "Screw those guys! I don't need Frogg, Red OR the Henchbots to spread evil!" He stepped back a bit to admire his work. Placed atop the slightly cracked open door was a bucket filled with tomato juice.
Voltar snickered menacingly to himself, rubbing his gloved hands together. "The second Red or Frogg have to use the bathroom, they'll open the door and get juice spilled all over them! Oh, I'm TOO good!" He commended himself aloud.
Voltar stood, staring at the bathroom, anxiously waiting for one his minions to reach for the doorknob. But it would be a long while before Dr. Frogg or Red Menace would be home to use the toilet. Voltar crossed his arms over his chest, pouting. "Dammit, this is taking too long!"
Suddenly, Doomageddon materialized behind him. Startled by the loud fwoosh and the intense heat from the blue pan-dimensional flames, Voltar stumbled forward, screaming. He landed head first against the bathroom door, slamming it shut. The bucket fell right on top of him, extinguishing the flames.
"GHEEEEK!" He shrieked, realizing he was smoking and drenched in tomato juice. Voltar slung the bucket at Doomageddon. The hellhound caught it in his jowls and swallowed it whole.
"Bad dog!" Voltar scolded, wiping away the juice from his face and shoulders. "Do that again and I'll have you neutered!"
Doomageddon tilted his head and smiled innocently. Voltar stomped towards him, scowling. "Don't think just because Frogg isn't here you can use ME as your personal chew bone!" He warned.
Doomageddon dismissed the little villain with a bored yawn. He teleported himself onto the couch and curled up snugly for a good nap. Voltar got right in his face, scowling. "Did I say you could steal my seat?"
Doomageddon glanced up at him with one eye and snorted, exhaling a huge cloud of green smoke from his nostrils. Voltar covered his mouth, choking. The air quickly cleared. Able to breathe again, he turned back to Doomageddon, raising a disapproving finger to scold him once again, but he paused. An idea came to Voltar- a good idea. NO! an EVIL idea! YES! Revenge was as good as his! "You miss that back stabbing, leader ditching son of a bitch, Dr. Frogg, don't you, boy?" He cooed, patting Doomageddon's scaly head.
The hellhound whimpered, nodding. He DID miss the mad scientist, or he missed biting, chasing, barking at and pouncing on him. No one was more fun to torment than Dr. Frogg.
"Tell ya what-" Voltar began suavely. "I hereby give you full permission to chew whichever part of Dr. Frogg's body you want If you teleport us to October Fest. Hell, you can gnaw off Frogg's claws at the front gate for all I care, just so long as you drop me off inside the festival."
Doomageddon jumped to his feet and cheerfully wagged his spiked tail. That sounded like a great deal to him. More than happy to oblige, Doomageddon pounced on Voltar and engulfed his entire head. Voltar screamed, kicking and punching in a desperate attempt to free his masked head from Doomageddon's mouth, but it was no use. The hellhound's jaws were like a bear trap.
The hellhound concentrated his demonic energy. Flames consumed Doomageddon and he disappeared from the living room with Voltar inside of him.
A/n: Woo! Quick update. I was going to wait another week to post this, but thanks to insomnia, I was able to crank this chapter out fairly quickly. This chapter is a little boring in my opinion. Sorry about that. Things will get more interesting soon, I promise! The dialog between Red Menace and Doktor Frogg was almost entirely ripped off from a Mighty Boosh episode. But I love the idea of Red and Frogg singing their own villain version on the Shaman drinking sing-along song XD