Death Warmed Over
Or, alternatively, the horror of when death itself throws a Halloween party.
Things are gonna get weird.
Disclaimer: Bleach is not mine. End of story. Neither is it real, or I am profiting in any way from this source of trivial entertainment. Which saddens me, because I have no Renji to cuddle with…
Chapter 2: Of Scary Movies and Spray Paint
"RUUUKKIIIAAA! I NEED MORE BLOOD!"
The aforementioned "Ruuukkiiiaaa" sighed and went to look for some more ketchup.
The gallon jug of real-fake-blood had run out long ago. And now the seemingly limitless supply of fried food condiments were rapidly being depleted as well… Finding a rather questionable red bottle in the very bottom on the pantry, she shrugged and poured it into the container that was once the home of the real-fake-blood so it wouldn't be suspicious.
Stalking upstairs, Rukia shoved it into his chest. "This is the last of it, Your Goriness."
Ichigo, for his part, was fussing over getting the right degree of spikiness in his hair so that it disguised the headband the sword was attached to, since he had neglected to get the XXL container of real-fake-blood. Not that he would admit this.
He was also really hoping that this stuff would come out of his shirt. The label said it would… but he had his doubts. It kinda smelled like ketchup, and he thought that that stained at least. His favorite skull shirt had mysteriously disappeared after he gave it to Yuzu to wash after that one punk chucked his fries at him last week… But then, it might have been the other guys blood that stained it too… Regardless, Ichigo had had bad experience in the past with red liquids coming in contacts with his clothes, so he was understandably wary.
Rukia stared at the small red puddle that had made it's way from his head, down his shirt and pants, and onto the floor. "You think that's a bit of overkill?"
"No way! I bled tons more when Renji stabbed me that one time!" Ichigo replied, slightly offended. He knew his wounds.
Ah yes, the great Battle of Remote. Renji had randomly shown up one day. Ichigo was not home, as he and Rukia were off… cleansing some hollows. Yeah. Hollows. So anyway, Renji showed up, and was poking around the house, when he discovered, GASP, TV.
So, needless to say, Renji had spent a considerably long time spaced out in front of the boob tube, and then he figured out how to… change channels. Pounding upon the remote in his haste to discover all that this strange box held for him (and considerably excited to find more like the Victoria's Secret ad that had popped up one time) he broke it.
And then Ichigo walked in.
A great battle ensued. I mean, you just don't mess with another man's TV. And then break his remote of all things. The nerve!
Rukia often liked to remind them of how long it had taken to clean up all the blood when the two friends started bickering.
They would stop real quickly then.
Regardless, Ichigo didn't give her more than a small side-long glance to see that she wasn't too displeased when he proceeded to empty the container on his head. Immediately, the scent of strawberries filled the air.
"The hell-!"
Strawberry syrup. He had poured strawberry syrup on his head. And it reeked of strawberries. He would never be able to live this down. He was late as it was… he didn't have time to take a shower and re-do his entire costume… If they called him Strawberry now… Ichigo repressed a violent shudder. But just barely.
Rukia laughed insanely, her nose twitching and her little bunny ears nearly falling off her head in her mirth.
Ichigo stopped to stare. Suddenly, for some reason, he didn't feel like ripping her hair out anymore… How peculiar.
Sometime later, they finally managed to make it out of the house without blowing any holes in the wall. A new record.
Ichigo was grumbling about smelling like a sissy.
Rukia was shivering in her scanty costume and the October weather.
Finally taking notice of her plight, Ichigo offered her his rather sticky and strawberry-smelling coat, mumbling something about not trusting his father to treat her if she got sick when she was dressed like that. Rukia took it gratefully, breathing in the jackets scent when she thought he wasn't looking. Ichigo in every sense of the word. It was rather pleasant actually.
They walked on in silence, Ichigo dropping behind to let Rukia lead the way and staring up at the harvest moon.
Renji picked that moment to mysteriously drop out of the sky.
After giving a small, "Yo," to them both, he suddenly noticed what Rukia was wearing, and understandably gawked for a small moment. Ichigo gave a "Yo," back, and then realized what Renji was wearing, and what he was currently looking at. Renji tore his eyes away to meet Ichigo's.
"YOU!" Both pointed at the other, Ichigo at the katana sticking out of Renji's gut and the wakizashi protruding from Ichigo's skull. They launched themselves at one another with all the grace of the fighter's they were born to be, and-
"RENJI! ICHIGO! Do you want to mess up your costumes!"
Each removed their hands from the other's neck and proceeded to scuff the ground with their collective foot.
"Umm… no… I guess not…" Renji stammered, still not meeting her eyes.
She said his name first. "Che, I can beat him up anytime I want-" Rukia glared at him, and Ichigo quickly shut up, even if he continued to sulk internally.
They continued walking.
"Why the hell are you here?"
"Why the hell do you smell of strawberries, Strawberry?"
Damn. He had him there. Stupid Rukia… there was a reason he had hidden that bottle… "Long story." He grunted.
Renji got the hint. He was all for a good ribbing, but that was getting cruel. Even if their friendship was an uneasy one and they got along pretty well most of the time, he knew Ichigo wouldn't hesitate to attack him. Part of the reason he ended up liking the guy. But he really didn't want to mess up his costume…
"Renji- what are you doing here?" Rukia asked.
"Well, see, most everybody was put out on patrol tonight, cuz all the Hollow sensors were just going crazy, and we thought that Menos had gotten himself out or something or your Quincy friend got his hands on some more of that bait stuff again. Turns out the sensors can't tell the difference between Hollows and those kids in the Scary Movie masks, but none of the higher ups quite figured that out yet. Didn't really feel like going back to deal with Byakuya, and saw a flier for your buddy Keigo's party, so I went back, grabbed my gigai, told a few guys about it and stopped by the costume shop and here I am." Renji panted slightly at his rather long winded explanation.
"Lemme get this straight. Keigo advertised this party?" Ichigo asked, eyes widening in horror.
"Yeah. See- look right there!" Renji pointed to the street, and the building beside them.
ONE NIGHT ONLY!
THE MOST SPECTACULAR HALLOWEEN SPECTUACULAR
YOU HAVE EVEN SEEN!
ASANO'S HOUSE- 8:00!
FREE FOOD!
It was sprayed in neon orange paint, the entire width of main street. And on the signs. And the fence. And the traffic lights. And a confused looking dog.
And his giant smiling face was painted like a billboard right onto the side of the mall.
"Dear… god…"
This was why Ichigo hated parties. Because Keigo never knew where to draw the line.
"Free food! Hurry up!" Renji dashed ahead, stomach growling audibly.
Ichigo had never been this afraid his entire life.
A/N: I am having the easiest time writing this. I think I need to relax more on my other stories. That must be the key to resolving writer's block.
Feh. I hope you're enjoying reading this, because I really should be getting ready for a horse show right now. Doing things like cleaning my books. Or re-stocking my hair kit. Things that are ever so more exciting than writing this.
So review. Or else. Dun dun dun.