Disclaimer - You know the drill. You don't seriously think I created Harry Potter, do you? Give me a break, I'm not that smart. No, these characters are the sole property of J. Rowling and a number of publishing companies.
A/N - This can be read as slash or non-slash, and I didn't really intend it one way or the other. So take it however you like! Enjoy, and review!
AffectedMangoO - this chapter ought to answer your questions J
HOLD ME, KEEP ME
Remus awoke confused. Where was he?
He struggled to sit up, but something was weighing him down. He managed to push himself up a bit and realized Sirius was asleep practically on top of him. The events of the past night began coming back to him.
He had spoken to Dumbledore…his father. Dumbledore had found his parents. He had gone out walking in the rain, and returned to find Sirius waiting for him. Remus realized Sirius must have fallen asleep in his bed. Sighing, he pushed his friend aside and crawled over to the next bed, the one belonging to Sirius.
Sirius mumbled something and flopped down, his hair falling into his eyes. Remus felt a sudden rush of affection for his best friend. Sirius had always been so kind to him. Remus thought back to the day they'd first met on the train to Hogwarts in their first year. He had been shy and nervous, worried no one would like him, wondering where he would find friends. Sirius and James had been monopolizing one of the compartments, talking animatedly and throwing chocolate frogs around. It had been Sirius who had first noticed Remus wandering and had casually called him in. Sirius had cheered louder than anyone when Remus was made a Gryffindor, and had insisted that Remus sit in a seat he'd saved for him. Sirius had run to the dormitory that night and claimed the bed next to the corner one, allowing Remus to have the corner, where he was most comfortable. He had always made a special effort to see that Remus was happy and content.
And last night he had comforted Remus, had let him cry unquestioningly, had stayed with him until he fell asleep. Remus curled up on his best friend's bed and watched him sleep, smiling a little. Maybe it really would be okay. After all, what was so upsetting about meeting his parents, for the first time in ten years? He should be happy, he reasoned. They'd obviously made an effort to find him. That meant they'd missed him. They'd be pleased to have him back. Instead of spending the summer holidays in a muggle group home, he would be able to be with a family who loved him and cared for him. Instead of lonely Christmases at Hogwarts, he could celebrate with his newfound parents.
And yet he worried. I won't be that little boy they're looking for, he thought. Even if the child they lost is me, I'm not him. Not anymore. And a colder, harsher thought suddenly occurred to him - they wouldn't know he was a werewolf.
Remus had very few memories of his home or family, but he did remember the night of his werewolf attack. The night he'd been bitten he'd made his first transformation and run away from home. He'd gotten so thoroughly lost that he'd never managed to find his way back, and had been taken in by the group home. The boy his parents had lost hadn't been a werewolf, hadn't killed. Would they still want him, Remus wondered, if they knew what he was?
Sirius likes me, Remus thought. Sirius doesn't care I'm a werewolf. Some people are really just okay with it. It'll be okay.
Sirius stirred, his eyes opened. "Hey Moony."
"Hi," Remus whispered. "Thanks, Padfoot."
"Hey, it's okay…" Sirius sat up. "You want to talk?"
"I guess…I don't want to wake up these guys."
"We'll go down to the common room." Sirius led the way, and they sat in front of the fire. "So what happened, Remus? You said Dumbledore found your parents?"
"Yeah." Remus stared pensively into the flames. "I mean, he thinks he did. He got a letter from some guy looking for me. Says he's my father. Gave a pretty good description."
"So how come he's just now looking for you?" Sirius asked. "I mean, why didn't he try writing to Dumbledore back in your first year?"
Remus sighed. "They thought I was probably dead. Only his wife…my mother, I mean…well, she had the idea to see if I'd ended up at Hogwarts."
Sirius wore a puzzled expression. "Isn't that good news though? It'll be nice to be reunited, right? Have a family again and all?"
"I guess. It might be. I don't know." Remus avoided looking at Sirius. "Things are good now, you know? And I waited for them so long, but they never came, and I'm happy again. And I don't want to think about the past. It…it hurts." He was hugging himself a little. "D'you know I used to chain myself up in this wet old basement during my transformations? No one knew I was a werewolf…well, I lived with muggles, I couldn't really tell them, could I? And I'd scratch the hell out of myself, and then I had to clean myself up and pretend nothing had happened."
"Oh, Moony…" Sirius touched his shoulder.
"I don't remember being with my parents, Sirius. Everything I remember before I came here is bad. And maybe they're great parents, but to me they're part of that nebulous past that I just want to leave behind me.
"And they don't know I'm a werewolf, either," he pointed out. "Sure they want me now, but how do you suppose they'll feel when I tell them that?" He sighed. "It's not just that. I don't know what they expected of me. What if I'm just a great big disappointment and they wish they'd never contacted me?"
"No," Sirius cut in hoarsely, and Remus was startled to see tears in his eyes. "Moony, you won't disappoint them. You're wonderful. They'll love you."
"But what if they don't?"
"They will, or they're fools," Sirius managed a half-smile. "In which case, who cares what they think?"
"I've got to see Dumbledore after classes," Remus said. "Do you think you could…I mean, if it's not too much trouble…"
"I'll be there." Sirius gripped his friend's shoulder. "You don't even need to ask."
''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''
If Dumbledore was surprised to see Sirius accompany Remus into his office, he didn't show it. He simply motioned for the boys to sit down, before taking a seat opposite them behind his desk.
"Your father owled this morning, enclosing a note for you," Dumbledore addressed Remus, handing him a piece of parchment. Sirius leaned in to read over his friend's shoulder.
--Dear Remus - I can only imagine how awkward this must be for you. I hope we will be able to speak in person before long. Your mother and I were most relieved and pleased to hear that you are getting along so well at Hogwarts. You have not left our thoughts these ten years, and we are eager to be reunited with you and begin to rebuild our family. We understand this will take time and wish to give you as much time as you need. However, please know that we anxiously await the day you feel ready to meet with us. Best Regards, Raymond J. Lupin.--
Remus kept his eyes on the parchment long after Sirius knew he had finished reading. Dumbledore seemed to know as well, for he spoke after a decent interval. "Have you considered meeting with them, Remus?"
"Yeah." Remus spoke so softly that Sirius wasn't sure he'd actually spoken. For a moment he thought he must have imagined it.
"What would you like to do?"
"I'll.." Remus swallowed. "I'll meet them. But I want Sirius to be there."
Dumbledore didn't seem surprised, but Sirius was This was the first he'd heard of this; he'd expected Remus would want to be alone with his parents. But if Remus wanted him…Sirius nodded to Dumbledore. "Right, I'm going with him."
"I'll extend them an invitation to the castle," said Dumbledore. "You may meet with them here, in my office, and I will be present for the meeting. As will Mr. Black," he added, cutting off Remus' interruption. "I am sure they will want to come as soon as possible, will that be all right?"
"Yeah," Remus said. Sirius felt a cold hand slide into his and gripped it.
"Very well." Dumbledore dismissed them. Sirius wrapped an arm protectively around Remus' shoulders, and they headed back to the dormitory to catch up on some sleep.
A/N - This can be read as slash or non-slash, and I didn't really intend it one way or the other. So take it however you like! Enjoy, and review!
AffectedMangoO - this chapter ought to answer your questions J
HOLD ME, KEEP ME
Remus awoke confused. Where was he?
He struggled to sit up, but something was weighing him down. He managed to push himself up a bit and realized Sirius was asleep practically on top of him. The events of the past night began coming back to him.
He had spoken to Dumbledore…his father. Dumbledore had found his parents. He had gone out walking in the rain, and returned to find Sirius waiting for him. Remus realized Sirius must have fallen asleep in his bed. Sighing, he pushed his friend aside and crawled over to the next bed, the one belonging to Sirius.
Sirius mumbled something and flopped down, his hair falling into his eyes. Remus felt a sudden rush of affection for his best friend. Sirius had always been so kind to him. Remus thought back to the day they'd first met on the train to Hogwarts in their first year. He had been shy and nervous, worried no one would like him, wondering where he would find friends. Sirius and James had been monopolizing one of the compartments, talking animatedly and throwing chocolate frogs around. It had been Sirius who had first noticed Remus wandering and had casually called him in. Sirius had cheered louder than anyone when Remus was made a Gryffindor, and had insisted that Remus sit in a seat he'd saved for him. Sirius had run to the dormitory that night and claimed the bed next to the corner one, allowing Remus to have the corner, where he was most comfortable. He had always made a special effort to see that Remus was happy and content.
And last night he had comforted Remus, had let him cry unquestioningly, had stayed with him until he fell asleep. Remus curled up on his best friend's bed and watched him sleep, smiling a little. Maybe it really would be okay. After all, what was so upsetting about meeting his parents, for the first time in ten years? He should be happy, he reasoned. They'd obviously made an effort to find him. That meant they'd missed him. They'd be pleased to have him back. Instead of spending the summer holidays in a muggle group home, he would be able to be with a family who loved him and cared for him. Instead of lonely Christmases at Hogwarts, he could celebrate with his newfound parents.
And yet he worried. I won't be that little boy they're looking for, he thought. Even if the child they lost is me, I'm not him. Not anymore. And a colder, harsher thought suddenly occurred to him - they wouldn't know he was a werewolf.
Remus had very few memories of his home or family, but he did remember the night of his werewolf attack. The night he'd been bitten he'd made his first transformation and run away from home. He'd gotten so thoroughly lost that he'd never managed to find his way back, and had been taken in by the group home. The boy his parents had lost hadn't been a werewolf, hadn't killed. Would they still want him, Remus wondered, if they knew what he was?
Sirius likes me, Remus thought. Sirius doesn't care I'm a werewolf. Some people are really just okay with it. It'll be okay.
Sirius stirred, his eyes opened. "Hey Moony."
"Hi," Remus whispered. "Thanks, Padfoot."
"Hey, it's okay…" Sirius sat up. "You want to talk?"
"I guess…I don't want to wake up these guys."
"We'll go down to the common room." Sirius led the way, and they sat in front of the fire. "So what happened, Remus? You said Dumbledore found your parents?"
"Yeah." Remus stared pensively into the flames. "I mean, he thinks he did. He got a letter from some guy looking for me. Says he's my father. Gave a pretty good description."
"So how come he's just now looking for you?" Sirius asked. "I mean, why didn't he try writing to Dumbledore back in your first year?"
Remus sighed. "They thought I was probably dead. Only his wife…my mother, I mean…well, she had the idea to see if I'd ended up at Hogwarts."
Sirius wore a puzzled expression. "Isn't that good news though? It'll be nice to be reunited, right? Have a family again and all?"
"I guess. It might be. I don't know." Remus avoided looking at Sirius. "Things are good now, you know? And I waited for them so long, but they never came, and I'm happy again. And I don't want to think about the past. It…it hurts." He was hugging himself a little. "D'you know I used to chain myself up in this wet old basement during my transformations? No one knew I was a werewolf…well, I lived with muggles, I couldn't really tell them, could I? And I'd scratch the hell out of myself, and then I had to clean myself up and pretend nothing had happened."
"Oh, Moony…" Sirius touched his shoulder.
"I don't remember being with my parents, Sirius. Everything I remember before I came here is bad. And maybe they're great parents, but to me they're part of that nebulous past that I just want to leave behind me.
"And they don't know I'm a werewolf, either," he pointed out. "Sure they want me now, but how do you suppose they'll feel when I tell them that?" He sighed. "It's not just that. I don't know what they expected of me. What if I'm just a great big disappointment and they wish they'd never contacted me?"
"No," Sirius cut in hoarsely, and Remus was startled to see tears in his eyes. "Moony, you won't disappoint them. You're wonderful. They'll love you."
"But what if they don't?"
"They will, or they're fools," Sirius managed a half-smile. "In which case, who cares what they think?"
"I've got to see Dumbledore after classes," Remus said. "Do you think you could…I mean, if it's not too much trouble…"
"I'll be there." Sirius gripped his friend's shoulder. "You don't even need to ask."
''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''
If Dumbledore was surprised to see Sirius accompany Remus into his office, he didn't show it. He simply motioned for the boys to sit down, before taking a seat opposite them behind his desk.
"Your father owled this morning, enclosing a note for you," Dumbledore addressed Remus, handing him a piece of parchment. Sirius leaned in to read over his friend's shoulder.
--Dear Remus - I can only imagine how awkward this must be for you. I hope we will be able to speak in person before long. Your mother and I were most relieved and pleased to hear that you are getting along so well at Hogwarts. You have not left our thoughts these ten years, and we are eager to be reunited with you and begin to rebuild our family. We understand this will take time and wish to give you as much time as you need. However, please know that we anxiously await the day you feel ready to meet with us. Best Regards, Raymond J. Lupin.--
Remus kept his eyes on the parchment long after Sirius knew he had finished reading. Dumbledore seemed to know as well, for he spoke after a decent interval. "Have you considered meeting with them, Remus?"
"Yeah." Remus spoke so softly that Sirius wasn't sure he'd actually spoken. For a moment he thought he must have imagined it.
"What would you like to do?"
"I'll.." Remus swallowed. "I'll meet them. But I want Sirius to be there."
Dumbledore didn't seem surprised, but Sirius was This was the first he'd heard of this; he'd expected Remus would want to be alone with his parents. But if Remus wanted him…Sirius nodded to Dumbledore. "Right, I'm going with him."
"I'll extend them an invitation to the castle," said Dumbledore. "You may meet with them here, in my office, and I will be present for the meeting. As will Mr. Black," he added, cutting off Remus' interruption. "I am sure they will want to come as soon as possible, will that be all right?"
"Yeah," Remus said. Sirius felt a cold hand slide into his and gripped it.
"Very well." Dumbledore dismissed them. Sirius wrapped an arm protectively around Remus' shoulders, and they headed back to the dormitory to catch up on some sleep.