A/N: I AM SO SORRY!!! no excuses I'm just sorry :s, hope this makes it up. All I can say is that I wanted to write an ending that fitted not just write an ending because it needed one which is why it took soo long.
Ok two main songs inspired this firstly is 'My Immortal' by Evanescence, if you can get hold of the just piano version it's the one I was listening to. Secondly was 'You Oughta Know' by Alanis Morissette though that link is more for me, 'My Immortal' is more obvious.
Right here we go with the second half hope it's good enough, sorry again about the cliffy just really couldn't resist, ok back to the probably is, but trying not to be Gwen bashing, and of course Janto love.
Once again nothing belongs to me, but Santa said if I'm very very good . . .
Xxx
"YOU BASTARD!" the shout had echoed round the cavernous space like a fog horn, causing three heads to snap towards Jack's office in equal amounts of confusion and shock, though one seemed to find a little hilarity in the situation.
Xxx
"Tosh?" Owen stood facing the shock of black hair and pale slender line of her neck, studying the detailed stitch of her top and deciding just how much of his hunch to divulge. Owen had been planning to keep stum but Jack's, somewhat over joyful, reaction to Ianto's return had completely changed his mind.
The captains exuberance only confirmed Owen's nagging suspicion that something had happened, something big and nasty, thought the act itself quiet enjoyable . . . but he digressed. Thing was Ianto wasn't an idiot, jackass sure, pompous git sometimes, but never, never an idiot. He was going to find out it was just a matter of time. Ianto was going to need someone and Owen opted out, he wasn't good at love, not even his own. If he had to talk about anyone else's it got, for lack of a better word, messy. And Owen was in no way going to endanger his own health by saying the wrong thing to Ianto, no fucking way, he needed help. He needed Tosh.
Tosh turned in her chair to face Owen, a pretty little blush colouring her cheeks, matching her pale pink top and giving her the glow that always came with her hidden affection. Owen was staring down his eyes glazed, obviously fixed on some decision he had yet to make. The right corner of his bottom lip sucked into his mouth gleaming a little with saliva as his jaw quivered in an action betraying nervous thought, Tosh smiled, she was prone to lip biting too.
"Look, you trust me, right? Of course you do, we've only saved each other's lives a couple of hundred times," Owen wasn't really too sure how to start this, or continue it for that matter. It wasn't a question of trust, between them, but Tosh had such blind faith in Jack, total unadulterated love for them all and he wasn't quite sure how she would react. Her being the closest one to Ianto except for Jack didn't help either. "Right I don't really know how to say this, so, I'm just gonna. You're gonna have to go on faith Tosh." Tosh's head tilted to the left a little taking Owen in, calculating his words, factoring in the shifty stare and jittery stance, concluding Owen was going to tell the truth, or at least he thought he was.
"Look Gwen's wounds were old Tosh, I'm talking weeks old, but the blood was fresh on both Gwen and Jack and definitely hers, I checked. Jack's an arrogant bastard, but he was losing it on the phone, seriously freaking out. He was losing her." Owen paused to pick his next words carefully, Tosh could appreciate fact and so far that's all it'd been, but this next bit was trickier. "Ok, I'm a doctor right, and a damn good one so believe me when I say I've seen that on Ianto too."
Tosh's expression morphed into the equivalent of a question mark; she couldn't quite get what Owen was hinting. Gwen had been hurt and Jack worried, so what, but Owen was right Gwen's wounds or lack thereof didn't match the blood, and what did Ianto's wounds factor into any of it, the only correlation there was Jack's pani . . . JACK. "You think Jack did something don't you? With Gwen, something that would hurt Ianto," Owen visibly relaxed, thank God Tosh was smart, he'd known he wouldn't regret telling her about Jack's residual energy, when he'd first picked it up.
"Yes," Owen voice was more like a sigh of relief "I could be wrong, unlikely, but I could. I just wanted you to know, Tosh you know I suck at any kind of touchy feely crap, and I figure, you know, Ianto could use a friend."
Tosh merely nodded her thanks, Owen hadn't lied, not about something like that, but right now she was grieving for her friend and needed a moment. Owen noted the change in tone and lightly brushed a hand to her shoulder before turning to slink away. He was halted half way through his pivot however by Gwen's howl.
Owen had to smirk, thank fuck he found Tosh first.
Xxx
Ianto was the first to react to the high pitched wail that had emanated from Jack's office. Fear upping his heart rate sending adrenalin coursing through his veins, providing the jolt of energy that made him hit the bottom of the stairs first.
Within seconds of hitting the first step Ianto relaxed, body language dropping from the attack. Gwen had been the cause of the wail, he could tell from the lower pitched ranting that had run on from the first expletive.
The words were still loud but a little too muffled to make out, Ianto justified his inching forward as a rescue plan for Jack. He'd no doubt dropped himself in it by refusing Gwen something, really Jack should have learnt by now. Just like how Ianto knew the next step was an unobtrusive offer of coffee and polite request for assistance to Gwen.
Inching father up the stairs Ianto caught two words very clearly ". . . repulse you . . ." and dropped all pretence of rescue, not that he'd honestly been fooling anyone. Ianto in reality was just curious, and as he felt a new presence at his back he gave a little smirk knowing he wasn't the only one.
Gwen had been following Jack and himself all day and had truly started to grate on his nerves, she'd never been this intolerant of their relationship before, he knew she had that whole white knight thing for Jack, but would never do anything for fear of shattering her illusion, right? It wasn't till she'd tried, with little if any subtlety, to lure Jack away that Ianto became curious. Now he wasn't so sure that she was being intolerant, it seemed more solid than that, her jumpy stance and reluctance to meet Ianto's own gaze suggested that whatever was up was serious, to her at least.
Ianto was almost at the door now, words were hitting him thick and fast. Gwen, in mid flow, was oblivious to him and while Jack's acknowledgment of him seemed funny at first, the sheer terror Ianto thought was meant to be mocking, lost all humour as the word's started to sink in.
". . . Pretend all you want Jack but it happened and you loved it . . . love me." Ianto felt a cold creep in at his spine clasping his heart and squeezing it tight ". . . Jack Ianto . . . never meant . . . much to you," Ianto was experiencing a kind of melt down, emotions closing him off from the world, only catching odd words, that terrible kind of numbness that seems to make everything worse. ". . . raw passion . . . threw at me" Ianto's mind was filling in the gaps with vivid images, memories of flirty banter, flashes of what could have happened, each flash a knife to his gut, each flash a thousand times worse than the words it replaced. "You gave me some of your life. . . I am a part of you now, you gave yourself to me" the last words rang through in perfect clarity like a bell tolling through the smoke, it was a warning, run.
Run now or lose your heart, lose your life, lose it to a man who doesn't deserve it and a woman who would ruin it.
Ianto registered the first thought that had truly made sense, one that didn't shatter his hope or test his resolve not to cry. Ianto paid attention and gave a curt nod to no one in particular before turning to push, quite brutally, past Owen and Tosh, holding a dignified march till the rustle of Jack's clothes and scrape of shoe on metal shattered his illusion of control and he ran. Ran out of the hub, out of the plaza, foregoing car and mainstream roads till his back hit the wall of some no name club and his heart shattered a little more with each chest heaving sob, that wracked his frame.
Xxx
The silence that reigned in tyranny over the hub was suffocating. It was killing Tosh and she was one of the least connected to the event, somehow even Owen had guessed something first.
Tosh had witnessed the whole explosion from over Ianto's shoulder; Gwen's words had made Tosh drop her gaze with an internal cringe. From that vantage point Tosh had watched Ianto's body twitch with shock and despair, slump with the weight of Jack's rejection and finally steel with self control.
When Ianto had run Tosh hadn't moved, frozen in her boots by the inky black aura that poured from her closest friend. Tosh had stayed that way until Ianto had fled, respect for his grief dousing her own need to escape.
Tosh didn't look up, or down at either Gwen or Jack. She turned sharply on her heels, drawing a grating sound form the metal and marched off in the direction of her desk. She felt Owen follow her after a moment's hesitation and tossed a weak smile in his direct, a reaction to the hand lightly grasping her shoulder.
They stood like that for a moment Tosh sat silently at her chair fingers whizzing over the key board, screens flickering with images of CCTV. Owen stayed like a statue at her side, quiet respect for Ianto and strength for Tosh. Owen had expected screaming, crying, and the possibility of a fight or at least Ianto decking Jack, but the stillness was worse, without the snap tension still crackled like electricity through the air.
The pair remained fixed until the computer screen stopped on a figure slumped against a brick wall. With a brief tightening of his grip before release Owen headed for the car park, Tosh's eyes never left the screen as she maintained her guardian angel watch.
Xxx
Jack felt cold. It had happened so fast, everything exploding out of control.
Ianto was gone. He'd fled. Jack knew he'd possibly broken his young boy; he'd already done it once with Lisa. Pulled Ianto down to basics, left him with nothing. And when Ianto had rebuilt himself he'd made Jack the centre of his world and Jack had let in happen, loved the attention, and revelled in it. But apparently hadn't even blinked before tearing it down, again.
And now he just may have broken himself in the process.
Ianto hadn't been the only one rebuilding, Jack had watched Ianto blossom and slip under his defences, Ianto wasn't just cute suits any more, he was the fear that kept Jack jumping in front of bullets and weevils. Ianto was now the space that filled the void Jack had left empty for soo long. He wasn't the only one, every now and then people slipped through Jack's self imposed isolation, like Estelle. And each time Jack felt a love for them that held the weight of the empty years in between.
This time Jack had gained a love that was fuelled the same way as his, Ianto had given him everything, the love he had for Jack and the love he could have had for Lisa. If he couldn't forgive Jack then Jack knew they'd both come out of this twisted, torn and scarred, damaged goods.
Jack felt the cold of the floor seeping through to his legs and fists, which felt strangely wet, bleeding from the beating the floor had taken. Yet Jack couldn't bring himself to care. He deserved it, he deserved worse.
He continued to stay as he was, crumpled on the floor, self pity and shame making his limbs heavy with lead. There was a tight feel to his chest, like a vice was crushing him, it felt like suffocating, slowly, each breath lost him air and his rib cage wouldn't expand to let more in. His eyes were glazed and watery, fixed on Ianto's smile in a memory or two, which set Jack's own face in a sad perversion of joy. A loving gaze tainted with the grimace of pain.
Jack didn't like being wrong and really didn't like feeling guilty about being wrong. But somehow this was worse, like he needed, no, wanted to feel worse, to take all the pain and just dwell in it, let it keep him company, lone companion to the lone immortal.
The cold had crept up Jack's arms and legs, numbing his extremities, before Owen moved. Jack had been happy to sit there and break, oblivious to the others, but then Owen had moved in the corner of his eye and he was quite contented to ignore that too but then he'd seen the flash of silver. The cold glint of steel that spoke volumes, of course Tosh had tracked Ianto and now, now Owen was going to fetch him.
No way!
Jack was not going to let anyone but himself pick up Ianto, Jack had broken this so he was going to fix it. Owen would only make matters worse, take Ianto out to drink, bitch about Jack, god knows what else. No way!
Ianto was Jack's, Jack had just been to fucking stupid to do the right thing, but he was going to do it now, and he was going to do it before Owen had the chance to do . . . well . . . anything.
Jumping from the floor Jack moved fasters than he had in days, ignoring the shocked intake of breath from Gwen and the scrape of metal on metal as Tosh stood undoubtedly to stop him. Jack took paces two or three times larger than normal, matching his accelerated heart beat, determined to be at the plaza before Owen. He was going to get Ianto back, this wasn't the end.
Xxx
Ianto felt numb, there was nothing no pain, no tears, no joy. The wall had seen him spend his tears, ones that he'd been crying since he fell in love with Jack Harkness.
Ianto had seen this day coming, the one where his heart would break, it was inevitable. Whether it broke when he was bleeding out on the floor, or when the bullet cut short his breath, Ianto knew he'd break. His heart would break to know he'd lost Jack, lost everything.
And he might as well have been dead, because he felt nothing, not the cold from the winds nipping at him in the ally, nor the warmth of the pub, or the burning of the seven shot's he'd thought to ingest. Ianto didn't see or didn't acknowledge the bartender's sympathetic glance or the regulars' snobbish sneers. He didn't hear the lads' roar for his apparently high alcohol threshold and he didn't care for the vibration of his jacket pocket, and the phone within.
What Ianto did feel was the hand on his shoulder.
Before he really registered what was going on Ianto had spun himself round on the stool, arm lashing, fully intending to lay some damage into Harkness' face, already relishing the little thrill which Jack's bloodied nose would give him.
Only to have his, admittedly sloppy, punch caught mid thrust.
Ianto's senses finally caught up with his fist and he found himself gazing not on Jack's big blue puppy dogs or Owen's attempt at sympathy, but on a smirking stranger. The guy was tall about 5'7'' with a mop of brass hair, half tamed by product of some kind. Strands of said hair fell over brown eyes that held a surprising amount of concern for a stranger, concern that stood in stark contrast to the obvious amusement at Ianto's punch, amusement betrayed by a smirk playing on cherry lips.
"That bad a day, huh?" the guy sank into the vacant seat at Ianto's side before ordering another two tequilas. Ianto shrugged noncommittally as he continued to roll his glass between his fingers.
The conversation remained pretty much one sided as the night deepened, Ianto providing monosyllabic responses when necessary. Ianto could have told him to take a hike that he was wasting his efforts, but honestly Ianto was enjoying attention so different from Jack's. This guy was interested, that was made clear by the constant hand at his shoulder moved sometime later to his thigh, but his flirting was subtle and flattering, calmer than Jack's in your face and frankly off putting approach. Ianto was enthralled by the attention this guy gave him; maybe it was just that fact that the guy was still hitting on him even though Ianto's head was clearly elsewhere. Alcohol hushing the voice that told him this guy only wanted to fuck him, and at the same time making a one off with Jack's distinct opposite an ever more enticing idea.
Forty five minutes into the encounter Ianto's substance abused mind made the decision that the guy at the bar was different enough from Jack to qualify as a distraction for his breaking heart. Rising, still in silence, from the stool Ianto grabbed the guys hand and tugged him sharply to his feet.
Somewhere in his head Ianto registered that the guy didn't protest, that he just stopped talking and smiled, that this was a bad idea, unfortunately the only bit to filter through to Ianto's presently controlling ID was that the guy had finally shut up.
Xxx
Owen was putting his phone back in his pocket after getting the voicemail, again, when he was wrenched back from the car door, emitting a small grunt of protest into the night.
"Oi! Oh, fuck off Harkness." Owen was not in the mood for his visibly angry and apparently unconcerned with personal space issues boss. Jacks hand slipped from its vice like grip on Owens shoulder, only to hover midair before making brutal acquaintance with Owen's face.
Jack caught the staggering body and helped ease it to the floor. He didn't flinch, just snatched the SUV keys, slammed the door shut and tore off into the dark streets.
"Well. That's one way to avoid confrontation." Owen muttered, more to himself than the small puddle of blood forming on his shirt from his no doubt broken nose.
Xxx
Ianto had made it five steps out the bar door, all too eager nameless stud in tow, when the SUV pulled up alongside the pavement. The hiss of brakes and sudden silence of a choked engine alerted something in Ianto; he had to turn, quickly. Unfortunately for his balance Ianto's feet weren't exactly in direct contact with his brain at the moment, and he stumbled. The stud caught him, arms lopping round Ianto's waist and pulling his body to rest against a solid chest.
"Whoa steady there, the night was almost ov . . ." the rest of the sentence was muffled by Jacks fist. The stud released Ianto in shock, who stumbled again only to be caught this time by Jacks unoccupied arm and pulled against another solid chest.
"You don't touch him! You don't get to touch him, get the hell out of here!" Jack shouted, and something about the look in his eyes caused the nameless body to rethink his retaliation, mutter something about 'crazy ex's' and make a swift exit.
Ianto had taken this small time laps to realise just who's unfairly inviting chest he was resting on and had started to struggle. Finally Jacks attention was ripped from staring daggers into the retreating back and now rested wholly on the restless form in his arms. He started to nudge Ianto to the pub side, somewhere their shouting match didn't have to be quite so public, it soon became clear however that Ianto wasn't going to play ball and so Jack near enough carried him to the ally mouth. Only when he had placed Ianto firmly back on his feet, and the younger man had put an apparently appropriate amount of space between them, did Jack start to talk.
"WHO THE HELL WAS THAT!" talking may have been downplaying it.
"NONE OF YOUR DAMN BUISNESS."
"YOUR MY . . . your my business, Ianto."
"I'm not your anything Jack. Not anymore"
"Did you even know his name? Anything could have happened to you, anything"
"Like you'd care" Ianto sneered
Jack looked offended "of course I fucking would" this only provoked a snort of disbelief from Ianto "Don't, Ianto, don't act like I've never cared, don't act like there's nothing between us. I know your hurt and by God I know it's my fault," he moved forward so smoothly that Ianto didn't even realise he had till Jack's hand came to rest on his shoulder while the other grasped for his hip. "But you don't understand . . ." Jack was cut off mid stream as Ianto jolted violently away from him.
"No Jack you don't understand, you never fucking have!" Ianto was verging on hysterics; his eyes were wide and bloodshot alcohol mixing with anguish making his tongue looser than usual.
"What about me Jack! I've stood by you; I've been here always waiting for you even if you never fucking acknowledged it. I was there, now where the fuck are you? With Gwen causing me pain" with that Ianto seemed to crumple under his depression, legs buckling while his torso sagged. "It's you Jack, it's always been you," his chest was heaving with the weight of his emotion "You don't get it, because I can't leave you Jack! Couldn't if I wanted to, you . . . your . . . just . . . I. AH!" Ianto barked out in his frustration, his body snatching back from Jack's outstretching hand.
Jack ignored the physical rebuff and lurched forward wanting to pull the frail body into his own, let his body dampen Ianto's pain.
Ianto however instantly squirmed further away from the older man. "I guess I've always known you'd chose her, and waiting was exhausting" Ianto was barely whispering, his voice broken, laced with coldness. When his eye's caught Jack's, Jack had to gasp at the vulnerability he saw, his body subconsciously backing away from the responsibility of Ianto's broken heart.
"You have to leave me Jack, I've tried to tell myself you were never there, but you, your presence lingers with me." Jack was scared he'd never wanted to do this, reduce his boy to a quivering wreck, Ianto was fading and he was why.
It was Jack's fear, clearly present on his face that gave Ianto strength. His voice gained volume and his body shuffled well out of the older man's reach, eyes gleaming with growing self belief.
"This pain is just too real; you have to leave me Jack because I can't. I'm too bound in you, in Torchwood." Ianto stood now, starting to walk backwards stumbling a little, unsteady on his feet, tears flowing freely. "You still have all of me, but I've been alone all along." His voice once again no more than a whisper. Finally he seemed to shake to his senses, he turned and ran from Jack, who still sat stunned, immobilised by guilt, on the sidewalk.
Xxx
Ianto only managed two blocks before he crumpled again. His spine to some back ally wall, breath erratic, tears burning, a recently all too familiar occurrence.
It was only in the quiet and dank atmosphere that Ianto realised he probably hadn't made too much sense, there'd been too much, too many thoughts vying for a voice. But he'd done it. He'd told Jack to stay away; he'd done what he needed to, what he should have done in the beginning.
Xxx
Jack was still in a state of shock, his body felt disconnected. He couldn't focus on anything; all he could picture was the raw pain in Ianto's eyes. He hadn't seen that in a while, not since Lisa and he'd been the cause then too.
Maybe Ianto was right, maybe he had to leave his boy alone. This was going to be hell.
Xxx
Ianto had contemplated taking a week or so off work, but the thought of being driven from somewhere, especially by Jack, propelled him from bed. He ignored the shocked glances at his arrival, he ignored the awkward silence, and he most definitely ignored Jack. Ianto wasn't ok, not by a long shot, but he could handle it. He mostly stayed in the archives, the calm there soothed him. There wasn't any drama in paper, facts and figures.
Tosh and Owen tried not to crowd the younger man sensing his need not to dwell.
Tosh was a naturally reserved person, her social interaction could be considered a little stunted. Ironically this made her best equipped to consol Ianto. Hugs made him retreat further; Jack was a tactile person. Enquiring questions were little better, Gwen had always been nosy. So Tosh's unintentional indifference, casual questions about work and shy smiles settled Ianto.
Owen was not a naturally reserved person; his socially stunted attitude was a life choice, so Ianto was just as safe talking to him.
Gwen had tried apologising, tripping over herself to please Ianto; she'd even tried to corner him once or twice to talk. Gwen soon stopped however. It wasn't that Ianto was rude or mean he wasn't spiteful or hateful. In fact he was perfectly civil, polite even. It was Ianto's eye's that finally stopped her. When he looked at her Gwen couldn't see anything in them anymore, no hate but no forgiveness, no pity or sadness, just nothing. Ianto didn't feel anything toward her and that left Gwen feeling cold.
Jack had tried to reach Ianto too, but the hurt and betrayal that shone in his boys eyes any time Ianto looked at Jack, was enough to quell his attempts for a while. Guilt throbbed in Jack like a stomach ache, enhanced with a fresh stab of pain every time Ianto walked out of a room Jack entered, every time his coffee was left outside his office, every time Ianto said 'sir'.
It didn't help that Jack could constantly feel three pairs of eyes on him either. Gwen's full of pity and barely concealed relief, Owen's mocking without sympathy and Tosh's with hurt and appraisal.
This pattern continued for weeks Jack slowly retreating from Ianto too. Not because he'd given up, he knew he had to win back his boy, but because it was affecting his work. Ianto wouldn't fall into his arms if they lost someone because Jack's head wasn't in the game.
Xxx
Ianto tried, tried to move on or forgive Jack, he honestly did. But the older man still had his heart and always would. Ianto had to fight himself every day just to stay distant, stay away from Jack. It was painful and entirely unpleasant; more than that it was lonely because Ianto knew there wouldn't be anyone else, not for him. But he stayed aloof, didn't run to Jack because he knew if he steeled himself now then he wouldn't brake again, he would never have the threat of this pain hanging over him.
Xxx
Jack tried, tried to win Ianto back, make Ianto forgive him. He tried with words, words that failed him, tied up his tongue, made him choke on emotions he didn't want to voice. He tried with actions but Ianto recoiled from his touch and never stuck around in Jack's company long enough for him to make some big romantic gesture. Jack tried with celibacy, he still was, but Ianto didn't care or ask about that part of his life anymore, so this act was more for his own punishment than anything else. In the end he did all that was left, he made a promise, that he would never stop loving Ianto, that he would watch over him and when the day came that Ianto finally needed him again nothing would stop him from reaching his boy.
Xxx
The climax of their painful stale mate arrived three months after Ianto's return from the unit meeting.
"Jack, rift spike. Roath Dock, picking up three heat signals, all moving. Easily big enough to be weevils."
"Okay. Tosh keep tracking them, I want you here for tactical support for that number." Jack had leapt from his office chair with the buzz of his intercom, grabbing his jacket, spouting out commands and taking the stairs two at a time. "Owen, meet us at the SUV I want it ready to go in 5. Gwen with me, we're hitting the armoury." Jack slowed for his last order a pang in his chest catching him, three months and the pain was still raw "Ianto get the weevil spray and catch Owen up."
Ianto felt the echo of pain too "Sir".
Their working relationship had no fault they were professional and polite, their interaction was efficient but minimal. Ianto was still too hurt and Jack still felt guilt, which had now mixed with sheer frustration at Ianto's stubborn distance.
Xxx
It had been weevils, three rather large and agitated weevils.
What they had gathered from Tosh in the short, barley ten minuet journey, was that there had been construction taking place on the docks till they'd hit a sewer system, construction had stopped and the site left a poorly covered in land fill.
The three weevils in question had come from the interrupted system and were now lost, aggressions building as they failed to return home.
Jack was primed to shoot, his recent and all too regrettable encounter with weevils making him dismiss capture over kill, when Gwen grabbed his shoulder from behind and insisted on subduing them first; she was getting more like the Doctor each day and Jack couldn't help the small swell of pride, he needed that, they all did.
However pride quickly turned to frustration when Gwen refused to back down. The weevils were stirring, observing the new arrivals with extreme caution; it would only take one small gesture to break the uneasy truce, which came when Gwen pushed Jack behind her. She was now at the head of the group, the weevils taking this break in 'formation' to be a switch to the offensive and surged forward. Frustration turned to anger and Jack more or less threw Gwen behind him to Owen remembering completely why the Doctor's mentality resulted in so much running.
While the largest weevil angled its attack at Jack the second and the third went for the rest, Ianto managed to keep the second at bay with a few well placed shots to its legs and surrounding floor space. The third however swerved around an occupied Ianto and headed for Owen. Unfortunately for Gwen she was between the two bodies. Owen threw himself forward dragging Gwen to the floor while firing blindly at the enemy. A soft squelching and low growl told Owen he'd hit the mark.
The second weevil used the shouting to avoid Ianto and fall upon a now screaming Owen. Ianto, left with little other options, threw himself on the alien wrenching it away from the cowering forms. With its attention now fully diverted to the man on its back the weevil reared up and flew backwards into a lone wall, the remnants of construction work and unfortunately for Ianto the only such structure for several meters either way, 'just my luck' Ianto's shocked mind supplied.
Ianto made contact first, the wind knocked out of him followed by a nasty cracking noise, only the pressure of the weevil on his front held him to the wall. Ianto felt a scream rip from his throat and he clenched his jaw against the pain and noise. Using the pain as motivation he dug his fingers into the creature's shoulder blades and as the weevil growled and shifted to grab him, Ianto tried to access his gun, an action made harder by the pain, his head was fuzzy and it was hard to focus. The weevil sensing his sloth threw its arms up and grabbed Ianto throwing him to an undignified heap on the floor supplying a few more crunches as Ianto's arms then head made contact with the cold hard ground.
Ianto's first barely controlled yell of pain ripped Jack from his engagement with the largest weevil, grabbing the creature's head he pulled back while kicking the back of its knees, Jack's fear giving strength to a move usually useless on such an opponent. Jack then proceeded to empty half a can of weevil spray in the creatures face.
Turning and taking aim he shot once at the weevil Owen had taken down, making sure it really wasn't getting up before finally turning to Ianto just in time to see his boy land about 5 yards to his left and hear the gruesome sound track of breaking bones. Jack froze; all he could register was Ianto, his brave and loyal boy, his Ianto lying bleeding and silent on the floor. What he didn't register was emptying his gun, into the weevil that had flipped Ianto, before it could even look at another member of his team.
"OWEN, get to Ianto now" but he needn't have bothered, the doctor was already there frantically checking Ianto over.
"I'VE GOT A PULSE. I've got a pulse" It wasn't that Ianto shouldn't have a pulse it's just Owen had seen the lighter man hit the floor, he'd seen the blood, he'd seen bigger men die from less.
Jack let out the breath he'd been holding.
Since Jack knew Ianto was alive he picked up his boy and cradled him, mindful of injuries, to the SUV. The journey back was quiet, Jack refusing to let even Owen touch Ianto and had practically growled when Gwen had tried to check the limp form. Jack held Ianto to his chest while Owen drove, stroking Ianto's face and hair, cooing into his ear words of love and promises of what he'd do if Ianto came back to him soon. All thoughts of former pain or how Ianto may react to his proximity were lost to adrenaline and relief.
Xxx
"OWEN!!" Jack was staggering through the cog door carrying the unconscious Ianto "OWEN!!"
"Jack, mate please I'm moving as fast as I can and Gwen ain't exactly light as a feather" Owen was in a similar situation shimmying through the doorway half dragging Gwen, supporting his own strapped up arm.
The group made it inside the Hub, Jack bruised and carrying his still unconscious boy. Owen had sprained his wrist when he covered Gwen and knocked her out too in the process, he was now dragging her to the sofa with his arm in a make shift sling. As soon as this was complete Owen ran to medical ushered on with shouts of his own name and a few choice words from Jack.
After around thirty highly stressful minuets, Jack glaring and snapping the entire time, all the while point blank refusing to leave Ianto's side so becoming yet another obstacle for Owen to manoeuvre around. Owen had run enough tests to competently declare that Ianto was doing alright, his vitals were strong and there was no internal bleeding. He had gotten away with three broken ribs, a broken right arm, quite a bit of blood loss and a cracked head; he was lucky, probably in a lot of pain, but lucky.
Xxx
When Ianto came round, it was dark, the Hub only illuminated by computer screen lights which cast an eerie blue glow, something akin to an aquarium.
Ianto's head thumped, and for a few moments he didn't know where he was or what had happened. All that came to focus was pain and before his memory rushed in and quelled his tongue Ianto yelled for the only think he wanted. "Jack!"
Xxx
Jack was dreaming, he been sat at Ianto's side all day, he wouldn't be moved. Owen had asked politely for a while before becoming swiftly irate at Jack's inability to stay out of his way. Not even Tosh's genuine concern for him to eat or at least talk had moved him. Gwen's dejected plea for him to allow her to explain had been the final straw. With his first and only action of the evening Jack ordered them all from the Hub and warned Owen to stay sober and near a phone.
He'd fallen asleep watching the slow but steady rise and fall of Ianto's chest, his dreams sweeping him off to a place where Ianto didn't hate him, where they were lying together, so close it was almost obscene, watching Ianto's blue eyes dance with love and desire. A dream made all the more haunting by its total reflection of their very allusive lay ins.
Jack was content to stay until one word dashed him straight back to reality. "Jack!"
Xxx
Newly alert Jack watched Ianto's panicked cry and fearful stare for merely a second before leaning forward and sweeping Ianto into his arms.
Ianto feeling Jack wrap his body in safe, strong arms nuzzled his nose into the crook of Jack's neck inhaling a lungful of his scent and calming himself considerably. His body had almost completely stopped shacking when his mind snapped back into place. Jack. Jack and Gwen. Stupid fucking weevils.
Jack knew what had happened the moment he felt Ianto tense. His boy had gone rigid in his arms for only a moment before he was trying to pull himself free.
"Ianto, don't." Jack tightened his grip, he had to try, something about this moment screamed to him. It was now, now to win Ianto heart and trust, never a more perfect time. "Don't, Ianto stop it."
Ianto continued to struggle he had to get away Jack was too close and he was too weak, he was going to break and he'd have to start again, these last months of hell would be pointless.
"Please." Ianto stopped. It could have been because of Jack's proximity, or Owen's medication or the physical pain. But Jack's final plea so broken and so small, clenched at Ianto's heart so tight that he could do nothing, nothing but stop and sag back into Jack.
Jack felt Ianto go limp and felt the first bit of hope he'd felt in months, let his first genuine smile in months grace his lips.
"I could have lost you." Jacks voice was so small so un-Captain Harkness like that any retort Ianto could muster died in his mouth. "I could have lost you and I have never, never been so scared of anything in my life."
Jacks words went unrivalled so he pressed on before whatever emotion was keeping Ianto quiet passed. "I need you Ianto. The thought of not having you scared me so much, the thought that I'd never be able to say these things to you." Jack moved one hand to Ianto's arms to push his body up, he wanted eye contact, and he wanted Ianto to see the truth, his other hand reaching to tilt Ianto's chin, before stroking aimlessly over his cheek bone. "I have to have you Ianto, I can't let you go. That thing with Gwen it was nothing, a mistake, worse than a mist . . ."
"Don't" Ianto spoke his second word of the night and he'd never meant anything more than the conviction behind this word. He didn't want to think about it, he didn't want to know why Jack broke his heart; he just wanted to know how Jack was going to fix it.
"But . . ."
"You know you've not said sorry, not once Jack." Ianto pulled his face from Jack's feather light touch making eye contact of his own accord now. "Maybe that's all I wanted, to know that you regretted it. I don't care why, I don't want to know. But you never did Jack, never said you were sorry."
"Ianto, of Corse I'm sorry I've never been sorrier, but what difference would saying it make, it would have still happened, it wouldn't change that." In all honesty 'sorry' hadn't even crossed Jack's mind he wasn't usually a man to deal in regrets and he never dealt in apologies. It made him angry to think something that simple could have done what he'd wanted to for months that something this important to him could have been lost because he couldn't say sorry. "I wanted to explain, surely that would be better, and then you'd understand."
Ianto started to pull away as Jack went on the defensive, quiet clearly the captain hadn't even thought of an apology, and Ianto would have been lying to say that surprised him. "I don't need to understand Jack, it shouldn't have happened. I don't need to get anything; I just need to know you were sorry." As Ianto spoke he lowered his legs to the floor, wincing as he removed wires and tubes for god knows what. "Jack you need to understand that when you explain you're defending yourself, defending her. Like you have done nothing wrong, but you did Jack. You broke my heart." Ianto was walking as he spoke, walking away from Jack, again.
Jack had frozen a little with Ianto's blunt admission. He was a few steps behind Ianto now, and had to restrain himself from grabbing his boy's arms for fear of injury.
"Don't Ianto, don't walk away. Don't let us lose everything we had because I'm a twat." Ianto was still walking, though there had been a slight twitch at Jacks out of character language, and Jack was getting louder in his desperation. "I am sorry Ianto. I was never trying to defend myself; I just wanted to make it right I swear." Jack was near sobbing; Ianto was only steps from the cog. "Ianto please, lets me make this right, Ianto."
Ianto's resolve was almost gone, Jack was truly sorry, he could hear it, but it had taken Ianto's prompting to say the right thing and that wasn't how it should be. He kept walking, his head down, this was hurting him too.
Finally Jack broke in his desperation he said the only thing that would at least make Ianto pause.
"I love you"
Xxx
Owen and Tosh were sat on Tosh's sofa, a rerun of something or other playing softly on the telly. "Do you think they've made up?" Tosh shrugged, for once she had no idea, she knew Ianto loved Jack, but he had been so hurt and Jack was just unconnected enough from this century and its 'silly conformities' that he may never say the right thing.
"Come on Tosh you and Ianto and friends or whatever, right? You must know something." Owen wasn't looking at her, wasn't even paying her all his attention, he was curious but he was still a doctor and he'd just left a badly hurt patient in a potentially distressing situation.
"I don't know Owen. Jack hurt Ianto, a lot, and I don't think he comprehends the situation enough to make it right."
It was Owen's turn to shrug; Jack could be an arrogant prick at times.
Xxx
Gwen sat at home, biting her nails. Rhys had kissed her goodnight only moments before but she was too worried to sleep just yet. She was worried about Ianto, about what she'd done to Ianto. So far she hadn't really faced any repercussions, yes she'd lost Ianto but they'd never really been that close to begin with, yes Jack had been a little distant but what did she expect. However today she'd screwed up, she got them hurt and she hadn't missed the pain in Jack's eyes as he held Ianto.
For her sake at least she hoped everything worked out ok.
Xxx
"I love you" The first one had made Ianto stop, the second made Ianto crumple.
"Ianto!" Jack Raced across the Hub once again pulling Ianto into his embrace tight enough to know his boy was crying. "Ianto?"
"Did . . . you m . . . mean it?" Ianto managed between sobs, grabbing onto Jack's shirt. He needed to know, he wanted to hear that from Jack for so long and it would be just like Jack to say it just to keep a fuck buddy, but he'd sounded so sincere.
"Of Corse I did. I've loved you for a long time Ianto, saying it just tends to make it real; the threat of losing you." Jack pulled Ianto closer as his boy nuzzled into him more. Sensing Ianto anger had been replace with need and longing Jack picked him up cradling his body, but not before whispering "I love you" into Ianto ear once more.
Jack carried Ianto, now over come with a fresh batch of tears down into his bunker, laying the quivering form on his bed he stripped down to his undershirt and boxers, reducing Ianto to the same, not wanting to take any liberties, before crawling next to his boy and surrounding him. Ianto clung to him like a child and Jack soothed him with strokes and whispers till his breath slowed and his sobs became sniffling breaths.
Xxx
Ianto woke next to Jack, surrounded by Jack, his sense filled with Jack. He felt safe, secure and for the first time in a while, loved. They had a long way to go, half of Ianto's head was still screaming at him to run, that Jack was an idiot, Jack didn't deserve him. But Ianto overrode it, he couldn't throw away what they had, the chance of what they could have not now, these past months had been hell from him too. If this was real then he had never been happier and if not he was content that he could use Jack too, he was lonely and he needed someone. At the very least he knew he defiantly wasn't just a casual fuck.
Leaning over from where he'd been watching Jack, he whispered in the older man's ear, lips ghosting the shell and breath warming the cheek, "You have a lot to make up Harkness. And if you ever do anything like that again, even so much as look at someone, I'll make you regret it, there's some interesting stuff in the Archives, your cock won't be good for anything but looking at."
With that Jack gave up any semblance of sleep and pounced. "Is that so Ianto Jones, in that case I better use it as much as possible now" before swooping and raining kisses down on the smirking form beneath him.
Xxx
Tosh, Owen and Gwen all turned up for work relatively on time, entering the Hub together Tosh was first to notice the note on the cog.
We're not here. You've got work, do it.
Ring if you need us.
"Guess their back together then, who knew all it took was near death by weevils" Owen muttered before entering the Hub, growling at the thought of being faced with happy Jack, sigh, it had been so quiet, good for hangovers, well at least the coffee would be better, you could really taste Ianto's mood.
Tosh's giggled before settling at her desk and pulling out her phone to text Ianto, Gwen didn't manage to stop her sigh of relief. Moving off to her desk she picked up her latest file when a folded whit slip fell in her lap. Instantly she recognised the neat text and read with trepidation.
Gwen,
I won't tell Rhys
Friends?
Ianto
A/N: Well that's it, really hope you enjoyed it again sorry it took so long I wanted something I was happy with and this is like the seventh draft Please review I want to know what you thought.