Chapter 2
The Wanderer and the Fool
"Loneliness is a place that I know well
It's the distance between us and the space inside ourselves"
-Annie Lennox
The air was muggy and warm despite it being mid January. Sounds of the ocean—lapping water, calling seagulls as they argued over a discarded piece of old bait or garbage, and the distant, constant hum of a boat's motor—floated along the air. The smell of fish, which generally accompanied these types of towns, was faint if not nonexistent. Instead the area reeked of suntan lotion and alcohol, a smell most likely brought on by the allure of turquoise water and an array of tropical themed bars.
There were few beaches, but numerous docks jetted yards into the water, most with boats and jet skies bobbing beside them. Schools of fish darted between the pilings, their colorful designs magnified by the clear water. Not far from the docks stood a row of houses, all bright and surrounded by palm trees and various tropical flowers.
Mia—as she was calling herself this time around—took in the sights with little interest. This was to be her new home. Well, at least for awhile. She never stayed in one place for too long. Time led to friendships, and friendships led to questions and realizations, neither of which she needed. Because of this she refused to become attached to anyone or anything—including the places she chose to live. Including this place, no matter how beautiful it was or how much parts of it reminded her of home.
"Mia Martin?" a hesitant voice called from behind her.
"Yes," Mia responded as she turned away from the ocean and walked quickly up the rickety dock that had served as her lookout point for the last few minutes.
"I'm Debi Reynolds, the owner of the place." Debi offered Mia a tanned, withered hand and a kind smile. Her hair was dark blonde streaked with grey, and each deep groove on her face told more about her time in the sun than her true age.
"It's beautiful here," Mia responded as she took the older woman's delicate hand in her own. "I truly appreciate you seeing me at such short notice."
"Are you kidding?" Debi said with a laugh. "You're my savior. I've been trying to rent this place out for ages, but the damned economy is sending everything straight into the shithouse." Mia laughed at Debi's unhindered way of speaking as the two walked up a short stretch of stairs and onto a small back porch. The area was barren save for a few dying plants and a strange garden gnome dressed in swim trunks holding a beer.
Mia continued to survey the area as Debi pulled a key from her purse and fumbled with the door. Everything about the house indicated that it hadn't been used in quite awhile. Cobwebs lined the gutter and roof, while mold clung to the once bright blue exterior. Mia welcomed the mess. It would give her something to do.
"Here we are," Debi sighed when the door finally swung open to reveal a sea foam green room with a small salmon colored couch and a matching chair. The walls were adorned in funny ocean related trinkets and paintings of the downtown area. It wasn't the nicest place that Mia had ever lived in, but it would do.
"Well, this is it," Debi said as she gestured around the room. "The place is fully furnished and in perfect working order. You're also welcome to have pets if you like. This island is already swarming with cats anyways."
"Yeah, I saw a bunch on my way here," Mia responded.
"That's good ol' Key West for you," answered Debi with a laugh. "Did you have a long drive? I didn't see a car out front."
"No car," Mia responded without hesitation. "I took a taxi, and the drive wasn't too bad." After decades of moving from place to place, Mia was used to questions concerning her modes of transportation. The truth was never a good idea—"I ummmm…walked? Well, ran really."—so she generally traded off between bus and taxi. So far the lies always went smoothly.
"Oh. Are you from Florida, then?" Debi inquired with a sudden look of interest.
"No," was Mia's only reply. Debi's face fell slightly at the short response, but she covered it up with a brilliantly fake smile.
"I see. Well, you're welcome to make yourself at home. I'll stop by tomorrow with the lease contract, and we can get you completely squared away." Debi offered Mia her hand one last time before waving goodbye and disappearing through the front door.
Alone, Mia found her way back outside and pulled the only bag she owned over her shoulder. It was filled with odds and ends, mostly clothes, but a few books and important parcels that gave her some sense of belonging were also contained within the dark, warn fabric. She carried the bag through the house and into what was to be her new bedroom. It was musty smelling and contained only a bed, desk, and dresser, but the walls were a nice muted blue, and the bathroom was far larger than she expected.
After a short ten minutes of unpacking, Mia returned to the dock behind her house and sat with her feet dangling off the edge. Only a few houses down a boat pulled into the dock stocked full of people. They were about the same age that Mia looked, between 20 and 24, each sporting a beer and a smile. Mia watched as they docked the boat before tripping and laughing into the house. With a sigh she looked back towards the water and attempted to recall the last time that she had laughed so freely. Even with such a large gap in time, the memories of her past still refused to let go. Would the time ever come? Was she even strong enough to grasp it if it did?
As Mia looked out across the water her fingers slowly found themselves clutching the medallion that she always wore around her neck, often hidden under her shirt, but always close to her heart.
BBBBBB
"God I wish I could cry."
Jacob looked up at the sound of Bella's voice. He was sitting on one of the Cullen's stark white, plush couches in a borrowed pair of Emmett's sweats. It was closing in on twilight, with the sun sitting low on the horizon, and the cool night air settling like a blanket across the landscape. A few stars were visible between scattered clouds, but the smell of another storm was already detectable upon the breeze. Soon any hope of finding Nessie's trail would be buried under a fresh coating of snow.
"I just don't understand," Bella continued as she sat heavily on the couch beside Jacob. "With Alice's visions, and the pack, and all of us…"
Jacob was once again reminded of the young, innocent girl that he had fallen in love with years ago. Bella's acidly, sweet smell and golden eyes were constant reminders of the creature that she now was, but there were moments when Jacob only noticed the way that her thick, brown hair fell across the shoulders as it always had, or how her smile was still more lopsided than even. Now more than ever she looked human; her eyes filled with fear and panic that only a mother could understand, and her face contorted in such pain that nothing about her seemed in control or commanding.
Bella had managed to maintain her composure for the majority of the day, both her and Edward so sure that some trace of what took Renesmee still lingered in the air or upon a broken branch. The search began with enthusiasm and confidence, everyone optimistic that nothing could bypass the senses of the wolves or the powers of the Cullens, but as the hours slowly ticked by, and the smells changed from breeze to breeze, all seemed to shrink under the realization that Nessie was in fact gone, and whatever had taken her, had done so without leaving any hint of a trail.
It was Edward that called the search party to a stop. Silently he left the woods with Carlisle and Alice in tow, both knowing that it was now time to find an alternate explanation to the night's happenings. The remainder of the Cullens followed immediately after, but Jacob refused to admit defeat. For two extra hours he pushed his pack further and harder, before finally returning to the main house with nothing more to show than a two day old vampire trail nearly a hundred miles to the north.
Jacob could have dealt with the failure; it was the look of hope on Bella's face that nearly destroyed him. "Nothing?" she had questioned. With each shake of Jacob's head, Bella's face fell into an even deeper look of pain. It was in this way that Jacob found himself alone in the living room with Bella on the edge of completely losing herself. She seemed distant even though she was sitting only inches from him, and for the first time in quite awhile, Jacob wished that Edward was there to comfort her.
"We'll find her, Bells," Jacob finally said as he draped his heavy arm awkwardly over her shoulders. Bella's cool skin immediately sent tingles of warning throughout his body, but he brushed them off and scooted closer.
"I just—she was with Emmett and Rosalie. How did they not sense anything?" Jacob wanted to make some comment about Blondie and the Hulk getting it on behind a tree, but he figured that Bella wouldn't find the joke nearly as amusing as he did.
"We'll find her," he repeated instead. "You know that Edward won't stop until he finds her."
Parts of Jacob still hated Edward, but the two had reached an understanding after Nessie was born. Bella and Edward were a family now, and even though Jacob would never forgive Edward for taking away Bella's life, he did acknowledge that Edward had given her a new one.
Then there was Nessie. Jacob could still recall with clarity walking down the stairs filled with nothing but the burning intent to rip apart the demon that had all but devoured his precious Bella. But then she looked at him, and her eyes were Bella's eyes; deep, and warm, and so filled with wonder that Jacob could do nothing more than turn on his heel and flee.
Days later Edward informed Jacob of Bella's change, both so relieved that she lived—in some fashion—that the majority of their past was instantly forgotten. Slowly Jacob and Bella reconstructed their relationship, it was timid at first and difficult at times, but eventually Jacob came to terms with Bella's new form. He no longer wanted her the same way; no longer had carnal dreams about their bodies being intertwined and their breathing heavy, but he still loved her, and he knew that he always would.
Nessie attached herself to Jacob almost instantly. Carlisle guessed that it had something to do with their similarities. Even at her young age, Nessie acknowledged that her body had more in common with the shapeshifters than it did with her parents. Jacob was standoffish at first, but Nessie managed to woo him with her bright smile and infectious giggle.
"It is infectious isn't it?" Edward sighed as he moved gracefully down the stairs and kissed Bella softly on the forehead. Jacob snorted in return. Couldn't Edward stay out of his mind for five minutes?
"You know I can't do that," Edward replied.
Unfazed by the one sided conversation going on around her, Bella shimmied out from under Jacob's arm and situated herself against Edward's chest. Edward's arms immediately found her waist as his head buried itself in her mass of dark hair.
"I'm so scared," Jacob heard Bella whisper, the cracked sound of her voice making him feel more like an intruder on a private situation than a friend.
"We'll find her, Darling."
Jacob suddenly felt very young and very out of place. He was worried about Nessie, and would never wish any harm upon Bella, but the looks of utter pain and broken whispers of the lovers was far more than he could handle.
After another long moment of avoiding their soft kisses and words, Jacob lifted himself quickly from the couch and made his way towards the door. He had zero interest in sitting around watching their twisted love fest. "I'm going to speak to Sam, see if he will offer any help. Let me know if you find anything," he shouted over his shoulder.
"You do the same," Edward called from behind him. "Oh," he added softly causing Jacob to falter beside the door. "Thank you." Without looking back, Jacob offered a short nod before stepping onto the porch, ridding himself of Emmett's sweats, and phasing into the cold night air.
Little compared to being in wolf form. Jacob imaged that aspects of it were like flying—the wind and the freedom—but flying didn't bombard your senses the way being a wolf did. Jacob could smell the snow that was now falling miles inland, and the faint woody scent of a fire burning somewhere deep within Forks. He could hear squirrels arguing high above him, and the soft footfalls of a deer as it searched for food, but most importantly, Jacob could control the human emotions that were currently harassing him. By the time he reached La Push, the images of Bella and Edward wrapped in an embrace were securely shoved to the back of his mind.
After only a few more minutes of trotting through the woods, Jacob found himself back in human form and standing on Sam and Emily's front porch. Sam opened the door almost immediately. "How many times have I asked you not to show up here butt-freaking-naked?"
Without missing a beat, Emily pushed past Sam and flung a pair of raggedly jean shorts at Jacob's head. "Thanks, Em," Jacob called as he pulled the shorts over his long legs and zipped them up.
"Wipe that smirk off your face," Sam continued. "When our baby is born I will not have you boys strutting around here with your junk hanging out all over the place."
"You just don't like the constant reminder that my junk is bigger than yours," Jacob retorted with a laugh.
"Grow up, Jacob," Sam snapped, his lips twitching as he attempted not to smile.
"Yes, Daddy." Sam stepped aside as Jacob's huge form made its way into the house, which smelled of biscuits, steak, and…cake?
"Any news, Jake?" Seth asked from the kitchen table, a huge slice of chocolate cake sitting half-eaten in front of him.
"I tried to keep him out of it," Emily explained as she fixed Jacob a heaping plate of rare steaks and biscuits with gravy, "but you know how he is around sweets."
"What's the cake for?" Jacob asked as he took his plate from Emily and kissed her softly on the cheek. Emily shot him a look of disbelief.
"What do you mean, 'what's the cake for'?" Baffled by Emily's uncommonly raised voice, Jacob merely shrugged his shoulders and joined Seth at the kitchen table.
"It's your birthday cake, dimwit," Sam explained. A look of realization immediately spread across Jacob's face. "Ahhhh," Sam added, "and now the moment of understanding."
"You really didn't have to, Emily," Jacob said through a mouthful of steak and a death glare to Sam.
"We had a whole party planned for tonight, but considering the current state of affairs…" Emily explained with a look of sadness as her fingers rubbed against the giant swell of her belly.
Emily and Bella had never been extremely close, but Emily rivaled Carlisle in the battle for most compassionate being. Jacob couldn't recall Emily ever saying anything callous about the neighboring family, even if it was comprised of her people's only real enemy. She truly was a Saint.
"Speaking of," Sam interjected, "Seth gave me the rundown, but I want to hear it from you too."
Seth immediately shot Sam a look of loathing, but said nothing. Jacob noted the interaction with a small smile; he would have to commend Seth later on keeping his mouth shut.
"Seth can explain the first part better than I can," Jacob responded as he ate the last bit of biscuit from his plate. "I wasn't there."
"I want to hear your take on it anyway." Jacob shot Sam an incredulous look before pushing his plate away and leaning back in his seat.
"I'm guessing it was around midnight that it happened," he started. "Apparently Nessie was on her first bear hunt with Emmett and Rosalie. Seth and Leah were patrolling, so they knew they were out there. Then—I don't know—something nabbed Nessie right out from underneath all of them."
Jacob looked to Seth for clarification. The younger wolf nodded eagerly. "Leah and I could feel that something was off, but there was no smell, no sounds, no trail to speak of," Seth added.
"Explain the feeling," Sam urged as his arms came to rest on his knees. Jacob shot Seth a look as well—he hadn't heard this part himself.
"It was the tingly sensation that we get when a vamp is near, you know, when your hair stands on end and the air seems thick with something," Seth explained.
"And you found nothing after that—felt nothing," Sam questioned.
"Nothing," Seth said with a shrug of his shoulders. "Rosalie started screaming after that. She was so distraught that she didn't even fight back when Leah pounced on her to get her to shut up."
"Seth then ran to find Edward and Bells, but they pretty much already knew that something was up. Bella called me and a few minutes later Seth howled for the rest of the pack. We searched throughout the night and well into most of today. Didn't find shit," Jacob concluded.
"Couldn't even pick up the kid's scent?" Sam questioned.
"Faintly here and there, but nothing strong enough to follow," Jacob answered.
"Where is everyone now?"
"Leah and Embry are out patrolling. I sent Quil home because he was freaking out about Claire," Jacob explained.
Sam nodded his head and dropped his line of questioning. "I added a few more to patrol not long after Seth arrived. Your pack can focus on helping the Cullens. I'll make sure that La Push and Forks are well looked after."
"Thanks," Jacob responded simply. The room quickly fell into awkward silence, save for the sounds of Emily washing dishes only feet behind them. Jacob could tell by the look on Sam's face that the older Alpha had more to discuss, but it wasn't Sam's place to tell Seth to leave, and Jacob truly didn't want the kid to go. Finally Emily broke the evasion contest by picking up the boy's plates and kissing Seth on the top of his head.
"I think it's time for you to head home, Seth. Don't want to be worrying your Momma." Seth nodded in understanding before waving goodbye and making his way to the door.
"Patrol tomorrow night, Seth," Jacob shouted behind him, "Don't forget." Seth waved in acknowledgment as he leapt over the porch's steps and disappeared into the night. Emily carefully slipped out as well.
After a moment Sam made his way to the fridge, grabbed a couple of beers, and returned to his seat across from Jacob. "Happy twenty-first," he said before taking a quick swig. Jacob soon followed suit.
"Why were Seth and Leah alone for so long last night?" Sam started. "If whatever took the kid had attacked them, you could easily be down a pack member."
"I was there ten minutes after it happened," Jacob defended himself. It was late, he was tired, and the last thing he needed was a lecture from Sam on the correct ways to handle a pack.
"You were with Abby again, weren't you?" Sam continued.
Jacob immediately grew to a more imposing height. "My whereabouts are none of your business," he responded through clenched teeth.
"Jacob I can still smell the sex on you, and I know that in most circumstances the love lives of friend's aren't anyone's business, but we don't live under normal circumstances," Sam attempted to explain in an even tone.
"You think I don't realize that?" Jacob questioned. "I know what we are, Sam. I know what we stand to lose." Jacob's voice was beginning to echo with the timber of the Alpha, but the sound did little to intimidate Sam.
"Your actions illustrate the exact opposite of what you just said," Sam retorted. "She can never be anything to you, and allowing her to get close is only going to put all of us in danger."
"Why?" Jacob shouted as he pushed himself up from his chair bumping the table and knocking over his nearly full beer. "Why can't she mean anything to me?"
"You know why," Sam responded.
"Oh come on, Sam. Just fucking say it," Jacob answered as he glared down at the man before him.
"She's not your imprint," Sam finally responded.
"The word of the century," Jacob snapped as he thrust his arms into the air. "It's all you ever hear around this place. My imprint this, my imprint that. I'm fucking sick of it. What if I don't ever imprint, Sam? Am I supposed to just be alone?"
"You'll imprint," Sam said with conviction.
"But what if I don't want to? Huh? What if I don't want some pack voodoo making my life decisions for me?" Jacob retorted. It was clear that he was near phasing, for his breathing was haggard and his skin was literally vibrating with energy.
"Look." Instantly Sam was before Jacob with his arms pushing down on Jacob's shoulders in an attempt to calm him. Jacob shoved him quickly away.
"Jacob, stop," Sam commanded as Jacob slipped easily past him and headed towards the door. "Do you want to hurt her, Jacob?" Sam called after him. "Do you want to do to her what I did to Leah?" Still Jacob refused to slow down or turn around. "Could you live with yourself after months or even years of leading her on knowing that she isn't the one for you?"
Jacob never stopped to look at Sam, but the older man's words refused to leave his mind. He didn't want to phase, for fear that Leah and Embry would have total access to his jumbled mind. Instead Jacob marched deep into the forest and punched a tree. Splinters of wood shot into the air as he continued his tirade of jabs, only stopping after his knuckles were dripping with blood.
Feeling stupid for his outburst, Jacob slid down the side of a large pine and watched as his skin began to mend itself. All of what Sam said was true. Jacob knew that his actions were selfish and careless, but that didn't make hearing it any easier. In fact it made it worse.
"Idiot," Jacob whispered to himself as he rubbed his eyes and attempted to clear his mind.
"Damned idiot."
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