I was window shopping again. Every other day, I sang. In between, I window shopped.
So, as I passed the bakery again, a hand landed on my shoulder, and I jerked my elbow back instinctively, then turned around and bright red.
"I'm so sorry!" the silver haired man was doubled over, clutching his stomach.
"Damn you pack a punch." he grumbled, straightening out after a minute.
"I'm so, so, sorry!"
"It's fine. You used to hit me like that all the time." he covered his mouth as soon as the words were out, and I narrowed my eyes.
"You knew me too? How? You're no Shinigami." at the word 'too', he looked around.
"Who else knew you?"
"Captain Abarai. We talk basically every day I'm not singing."
"Do you really? You shouldn't trust him."
"Why not? Shinigami have done nothing bad to me. He's super kind."
"Not everybody is who they say they are."
"Yui!" I turned around, and waved to Captain Abarai. I turned back to say, 'See, he's not bad.' but the man was gone.
"What the hell?" Abarai skidded to a halt beside me.
"Do you know who that man was?" he asked. I made a face.
"No. He just showed up a few days ago with a friend to hear me sing."
"Shit." I narrowed my eyes.
"Do you know him?"
"Yeah. I need you to come with me, right now. You're no longer safe here."
"Yes, I am." I paused for a moment, "He told me not to trust you. Why would he say that?" he cursed quietly.
"I promise I'll see if I can explain, if you just come with me."
"Tell me his name, and I'll go."
"His name is Goka." he gripped my wrist, and shunpoed, off. I screeched and gripped his waist again, for dear life. He pried me off.
"Stay right here."
"Give me a warning next time, damn it!" he entered through double doors, and I sunk to the ground, tapping my feet, trying to piece everything together. Captain Abarai knew me, but was forbidden to tell me anything. This Goka fellow knew me, but he seemed less able to hold his tongue. He also told me not to trust Captain Abarai. I felt comfortable in both of their presences, and nothing told me to be wary, so I really didn't know who to believe. I'd known Captain Abarai longer, in this second life, but lord knows who I knew longer when I was alive.
"Though..." now that I was thinking back on when Goka and I talked, I could actually pick out an uneasy feeling of my own. Something about him made me on edge, apparently. Captain Abarai never did that to me. So, obviously, Goka did something to betray me, maybe hurt me. Captain Abarai never did anything of the sort, that I could tell. So, it made more sense for me to trust Captain Abarai.
"Plus, Goka kind of gave me the feel that he was going to kidnap me."
"He what?" I looked up at Abarai and grinned sheepishly.
"Nothing?"
"No. He made you feel like he was going to kidnap you?"
"It was an underlying feeling. Nothing I'm worried about."
"Just because you're not worried doesn't mean I'm not. I'm a Shinigami. I'm supposed to rely on those underlying feelings." I rolled my eyes.
"How did your brief talk go?"
"We were in there for half an hour, Yui."
"Are you serious? Man, did I space out..." he pulled me up.
"I'm allowed to tell you some things, but not a lot. Let's go back to Kohaku's house, then we'll talk."
"Alrighty." he gripped my wrist and shunpoed off again. When we stopped, I punched him hard on the shoulder.
"Ow."
"I told you to warn me!" I hissed. He rubbed his shoulder.
"Damn it." I knew he was going to say something about the past, but he stopped himself.
"I hate it when you do that. Stop comparing me to me in the past." he looked at me.
"I wasn't-"
"Yes, you were. You always stop abruptly, and stare at one spot for a second, so the thought can finish. It's irritating." he rubbed his head.
"Sorry. I knew you for a long time. It's hard not to."
"Try." I sat down on a bench, and he leaned against the wall. I covered up my confusion quickly. Usually, he'd just sit next to me. But, he'd known me well when I was alive, maybe we'd had something, and it was just too hard right now.
And then it was all clear.
That was why he came all the time.
That's why he freaked out so bad about Goka, and how I wasn't safe.
That's why he refuses to tell me anything.
Because most of it includes us.
I sat up straight, and he looked at me.
"What?"
"Just remembered something. Now, tell me about Goka, if you can."
"He's a Hollow. A very powerful one. We think he's a Vasto Lorde, the highest natural level they can get. He might also be an Arrancar left over."
"Arr... what?"
"Arrancar. You've been told about Aizen?"
"Winter War and shit?"
"They were his WMD." WMD? "Weapons of Mass Destruction."
"Alright. And...?"
"You two have a history."
"One that you don't like?" anger flashed across his face.
"Oh, there it is. Loser. You're soo bad at hiding your feelings."
"Alright. Why is it so relevant that I don't remember anything?" she continued after another brief pause.
"Because you can do this thing. I think you unintentionally incorporate it when you sing. I've recognized the feeling. Anyway, right now you're innocent. Untainted. You can make decisions of right and wrong, without having to weigh the factors of people. If you remember, that whole thing is unbalanced. Your emotions used to be seriously unbalanced. The simplest things upset you. That's what we're worried about. If you remember, it's not completely sure if you'll choose our definition of right. That's what we're trying to preserve."
"What's the thing I can do?"
"Can't tell you."
"Do I have any relatives in Soul Society?"
"Three, maybe four."
"Maybe?"
"We're... I can't explain." I closed my eyes.
"This is frustrating."
"You're telling me? I have to filter." he paused, looking at the outside wall of the house, like he was listening.
"What the hell are you doing?"
"Shh." he held up a finger, and I looked at him like he was crazy.
"Get down!" I dropped onto the floor, and the house blew up. Quite literally. The force of an elephant pushing against me nearly shoved me across the floor, put then I felt a solid weight on top of me, and prayed it was Captain, not whoever was attacking. Debris and dust flew all over, and I covered my head as my vision became obscured by floating particles. Two minutes later, a voice came out of the settling silence.
"Well, well, it seems as though you two are still together, even after she has died." the weight from on top me lifted, and I glanced up.
"Goka, don't say another word."
"Well, whatever. I don't care what happens if she remembers. If anything, it goes more in my favour." Captain gripped his arm and hissed inaudibly to him, then glanced back.
"Get back, but do. Not. Run." I scrambled to my feet, then backed up a few feet, and waited for him to turn around. Like hell I wasn't going to run. That psycho just blew up my house! As soon as he turned, I spun around and took off. Laughter followed.
"She's escaping, Abarai."
"Get back here damn it! Can't you ever listen?" I ignored him, running for my life, then colliding with someone.
"Yui?" I looked at Kohaku.
"I'm so sorry about the house."
"What happened to my house?" he started walking, and I grabbed for his wrist.
"Don't. Don't. Please, please don't go. Kohaku!" he continued to walk, furious. His arm slipped out of my grip, and even though the dust was still settling, I could hear his quiet scream. I shut my eyes, feeling the tears spill over, streaking my dust covered face. The sounds of a short battle continued, before Goka flashed away, Renji jogged out and over to me, but all I could see and hear was Kohaku's scream, him entering the dust cloud. Hands lighted on my shoulders.
"He's gone, Katsu." he paused for a moment and sighed.
"Why didn't you try to...?"
"I didn't even see him coming in before he was dead." I knew he was right. And, standing there, I swore I wasn't going to yell at him for it. He can't do everything. He's not a god.
His hands lowered to my upper arms, and his grip loosened so it was soft and warm, yet firm.
"We need to go, before he returns." silence for a few moments.
"Keep your eyes closed." his arms encircled my waist and I felt the slight gust of air, then all was still. His hand lowered to my own, and he pulled me into a room, shutting the door behind him. His arm went under my knees, and he lifted me up, before setting me down on something soft.
"Please stay here. If you wander off..." he trailed off, like one would with a threat, but his tone seemed pleading. I nodded slightly, and with a slight breeze, he was gone again.
I allowed myself to open my eyes and looked over the room. It was suprisingly clean, which had me wondering whose it was. Aren't guys' rooms supposed to be filthy? The sheets were a shade of green, maybe sap green, but the reverse side was some pistachio colour. The floor was hardwood, and the walls were the papery material, also a green colour, that reminded me vaguely of some place I remembered. This bed, I knew, though, had to be only for Captains. It was a full size bed too. Around the place, there wasn't much in the way of personalization, only a bloodwood dresser, and...
I sat up, squinting at the top of the dresser. There was a necklace. A plain, black, twine string as a chain. A coppery looking medallion sat at the bottom. It was tarnished, like it's owner had rubbed it a lot, in remembrance. Picking it up, I ran my thumb over the wolf design on the front. The wolf was howling at the moon, with stars twinkling around. It was extremely detailed. I flipped it over. On the back, was something that looked like a compass with eight points, and strange symbols around. I don't know how long I stood there, but I knew I recognized that necklace. I knew it in another way, sitting in a wooden box, and much less tarnished. The door slid open, and a low chuckled sounded.
"How long have you been standing there?"
"How long were you gone?"
"About an hour."
"Then, a little less than about an hour." I turned to face him and held the medallion between my thumb, middle, and index fingers.
"I've seen this before." he walked over, and pulled it lightly out of my hand, running a finger over the wolf.
"You should have. It was yours." I made a face, and jokingly said,
"So, what? You kidnapped it out of my room?" he smiled slightly.
"No. You gave it to me. You told me that your father bought it for your mother, as a promise when they began dating. A promise, that they'd be together forever. When you gave it to me, you said you hoped that some of their luck would rub off on us." he set it back down on the dresser, and I just gazed at it for a moment.
"So I was right." I murmured.
"Hm?" I glanced up at him, giving him a slight smile, then looking back down at it.
"I may not have her memories, but I'm still a smart woman. I don't miss things, and I'm adept at putting things together. That much I know. I guessed that there was something. An 'Us', if you will." I glanced back up at him, still with the light smile, like one that someone would get, watching puppy love between two children, or an old couple that's been together, forever. And I knew he completely missed what I said, or rather, what I hadn't. Closing my eyes, I shook my head.
"Forget about it." he gripped my hands softly.
"No, now you keep going, because I'm curious."
"You're so oblivious, it's almost funny. I may not have her memories, but I'm still the same person. I still have her feelings. Standing here, talking about this, I know what she felt. Wow, I'm talking like it was another person. Okay, let me rephrase. I know what I felt. I know what I feel. Maybe it's not as strong as it was before, yet, but it'll get there." I pushed myself up onto my tiptoes, to make our height evener, then pressed a quick kiss to his lips, that lasted longer than I had planned. A rush of emotions swept through my body, and I realized that I didn't have to refall in love. I was still in love.
oOo
Waking up in the morning, I made sure not to move at all. I couldn't remember exactly what happened last night, but I knew nothing bad. I remembered going to bed, however. With Abarai's arms around my waist, it was hard not to. It was really, the first night in Soul Society, that I felt I was supposed to be dead. So now, I just looked at the wall, hoping it will never, but knowing it will end. I looked again at the necklace on the dresser, trying to remember giving it to him. Trying to remember anything at all. Nothing but the same memory of it in a box came up. I groaned quietly.
"What's wrong?" my eyes widened, surprised that he was up.
"You're awake?"
"I'm right behind you. I can feel you wake up."
"That's because you're actually touching my ribs."
"I'll ask again, what's wrong?" I sighed.
"It's nothing." he propped himself up on his elbow, looking at me like I was stupid.
"What?"
"I know you better than you want, to pull that off." I looked back at the wall again, wondering if I could lie to him.
"How hard is it to answer a question?" I looked at him, eyebrows raised.
"Thought you knew me?"
"I do."
"Then why in the world are you asking that question." he turned red.
"You've gotten a smidge impatient. So, what's wrong, doesn't concern you. I can deal with it." he looked like he was about to argue, but a butterfly flew in the room, and he held out his hand for it. It landed, and he brought it to his ear.
"And now he talks to butterflies. And apparently I have a problem?" he gave me a dry look, and I smiled sweetly with a hint of something evil in it. The butterfly flew off, and he looked at me.
"Stay in here."
"What now? You never ask me to come, it's always stay."
"Because usually, the trouble isn't around you. Well, here it isn't." he muttered the last part, then looked me in the eyes.
"Just stay here, until I or Shuhei come to get you."
"Who the hell is that?"
"Black spiky hair.Tattoos on his face. Just remember that. Are you going to stay?"
"I'll try. No promises." he scowled, and I gave a small smile. And just like that, he was gone. I pushed myself off the bed and grabbed the necklace, sitting on the floor, running my thumb around the edge.
"This used to mean something to me. I know that they're trying to keep me from remembering for my own good, but when people from my past with these strong connections keep popping up, it's hard not wanting to know." sighing, I just looked at the wolf.
"Can't they just let me know? By now, it must be an attractive choice."
"I agree, wholeheartedly." I jumped and dropped the necklace on the floor, then took a step back, away from Goka.
"So, if you come with me, I'll restore your memories."
"That's a hard bargain you drive, but you killed my friend."
"It's war. There are casualties." he shrugged. I gaped at him, and he looked confused.
"What?"
"I'm sorry. I cannot begin to fathom how I used to be friends with such a pretentious prick!" he almost looked offended.
"You broke my heart, Katsu. How can I not be mad at you?" I closed my eyes.
"My name. Is not. Katsu."
"Pretty sure it is. I spent three weeks with you."
"Before or after I died?"
"Before."
"I'm not the same girl, damn it!"
"You're arguing two different sides of the same thing, in one day, darling. You're not the same girl, you say to me. To him, you say you still have your feelings. You're still the same person." I looked at him, disturbed and quietly angry that he'd been listening.
"So tell me then, if your feelings still hold true for him, why not me?"