If Kurt saw me now. He would kill me. Gone are the days of argyle and knee socks, animal jumpers and leg warmers and welcome my new favourite colour. Black. I love black. It represents me.

The new me.

All my bitterness, hatred and my favourite emotion anger. I don't cry anymore. The new me doesn't do tears. The new me, is full of hate. Hate for my friends, family, him. Those who led me along. It's their fault I'm like this. So bitter that I could make lemon's jealous.

So what if I cut my hair short, or that I have a nose piercing, or perhaps my new obsession with tattoos has led to many trips, and hundreds of dollars. It's the new me, the new me who has friends. Sure, we may spend our time walking around, trying to get into bars, or frighten the other kids who go to NYADA, it's who we are. Each and every one of us have been through some betrayal, so what better way than to come together, and take our anger out on all the happy carefree people who have never been hurt like us.

So it's been 2 months since I arrived here, 1 month since I started NYADA and 3 days since someone has tried to call me.

Its not long, but its progress.

So I changed my look, I'm still me, somewhere deep down. I still appreciate the drama of life, but to be honest, there no longer is any. I realised I have fallen into a pattern. Wake up, go to class, go to some bar until who knows when, get completely wasted, and wake up back in my dorm with a severe hangover and late to my first class. I'll admit it is hard to wake up every morning knowing he isn't going to be there. That he isn't going to be there for me anymore. That's where the hangovers come in handy, I'm so distracted by the throbbing in my head, I don't have time to feel the pain in my heart.

I still feel like I'm irrelevant longer have a purpose in his life and I'm no longer important to him. Maybe I never was. Maybe he led me on just so that when he dumped me he knew that it would sting a little more. I know this isn't true, but sometimes I think that maybe they all lead me on. That he pretended.

That they all pretended.

I woke up that morning to someone relentlessly banging on my door. I looked over to my clock to see what time it is. 12:30pm. Way too early for a Saturday. I then realise my head is throbbing. I slowly trudge over to the mirror to get a look at myself. My hair is in a big knotty mess, my eyeliner has smudged under my eyes, and my red lipstick is half way up my face. What the hell did I do last night? I then remember the knocking at the door, probably my best friend Cassie, on her way over with her magical hangover cure.

"Give me a second!" I shout, and pull on some dirty ripped jeans and a black singlet. I walk over to the still knocking door, pull it open and shout "God Cassie, calm your tits." But standing in front of me is not Cassie, but a very angry looking Latina, and Blonde.

"What are you doing here?" I growl at them.

"Hello to you to." Says Santana

"I repeat, what are you doing here?" I reply

"Well since you seem to be incapable of using a phone, we decided to pop in and speak to you directly." Quinn says.

"Well obviously you two are incapable of getting the message, I don't WANT to talk to you." I reply mimicking Quinn's tone.

"Well it looks like you don't have a choice, so move your little diva ass out of ma way before I make you." Santana says, clearly unimpressed with being kept waiting so long.

She shoves past me and walks into the room. After doing a once over of the mess on the floor, my unmade bed, and the empty bottles lying around she spins and looks at me.

"What the hell is going on Rachel?"

"I don't know what you mean?"

"Look we expected you to be mopey, but not turn out like this." Quinn says as she gestures to me.

"You're going to have to be more precise with what you mean."

"You're Rachel Berry, you don't drink, or smoke, or have an unclean room. You don't wear jeans and you never wear black." Says Santana

"And is that a tattoo on your wrist?" Quinn yells.

"Correction, I WAS Rachel Berry, I DIDN'T drink or smoke and I ALWAYS have an unclean room. I ALWAYS wear jeans and my FAVOURITE COLOUR is black. Now that that's sorted will you get out of my room and please don't return." I say as I push them to the door.

"What happened Rach?" Santana asks with almost a hint of compassion in her voice.

"I found out that the world is a bitch, and betrayal is everywhere." I say coldly before slamming the door.

I think I sat in the corner of my room for a good two hours before the tears came. I tried so hard to keep them away, but seeing Santana and Quinn brought back so much. All the feelings of sadness came back. How dare they show their face after what they did to me? How dare they come back and make me feel everything I had tried so hard to push away. Who did they think they were? They had no right. Wasn't it enough to push me away that they had to come and rub it in my face, here, in New York, just after I had stopped being so hopeless.

I decided that what I needed was a night out. I reached for my cell and called Cassie.

"What you want loser." Cassie smirks through the phone at me.

"Something to forget today even happened." I reply"

"I know just the place, meet me outside in 20." She replies before hanging up.

A/N: Hey guys, that's the second chapter. Sneak Peak for next chapter: we meet the crazy guy.

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