Blind Eyes, Strong Heart Day
One: Ace, Welcome To Reality

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I went through this realization that acting, at its heart, is the ability to manipulate your own emotions.

-Scarlett Johansson
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Darkness.

It was all he could see.

No more smiles, no more grins.

Just... nothing.

No sun, no fire, no ocean, no sky, no self.

Only darkness.

And nothing could save him from it.

Ace was never one to panic. He was always in control, always cool and focused. He had to be, especially when raising a little brother like Luffy. But one finds it hard to play it cool when you wake up in his situation.

As the early morning light fell onto Ace, he shifted under the slight rise in temperature and stifled a yawn. He felt exhausted. He rubbed the sleep from his eyes and opened them to take in his usual surroundings. When he opened his eyes, though, nothing appeared. He furrowed his brows and blinked. 'What the…? Is this another prank from the guys?'

"Okay guys, real funny. Get this night mask off me." No response came, which was odd because they'd usually be trying to stifle their laughs by now. (They had glued a night mask to his face on several occasions before.) But now that he thought about it, he didn't feel anyone's presence in the room which only confused him more. Lifting a hand to his face he found that there wasn't anything on his face to block his vision. 'Huh? What's going on? Why can't I…?'

"Hey Marco, I was wondering… Do you know if anyone has some Egyptian Senna on the ship?"

"I don't think anyone does. I think we ran out a few months ago actually. But if I remember correctly, one of the islands we'll be passing has a variety of herbs. You might be able to find some there."

"Okay, good. And, um, how long do you think it would be before we pass this island?"

"Probably five to seven days depending on the weather."

Ace went rigid as the conversation played in his mind and the memory of getting sumac oil in his eyes came to play, causing him to break into a cold sweat. He blinked yet all he could was that endless darkness. Darkness that swallowed him whole, eating him with the intentions of never letting him escape its dark clutches. And in sudden realization, Ace began to panic.

He threw off his blankets and tried to get out of bed, falling the ground face-first in the process. He scrambled to his feet, reaching out blindly for anything that would tell him his current location. He knocked several trinkets of his off a shelf, stepping on one and giving a yelp as he began falling backwards. He fell into his dresser sideways, but he didn't register the pain that flared in his abused ribs. Things crashed and banged as they hit the floor, but, again, he didn't care.

He was blind.

But he couldn't be going blind! He couldn't be! He was Portgas D fucking Ace! He didn't have time to be going blind! He had a whole ship of nakama to look after, how could he do that if he couldn't see? Too busy being in a 'blind' panic, he didn't realize how big a ruckus he was making so early in the morning.

Marco was used to hearing noises come from Ace's room, it was an almost nonstop thing. Whether is was from Ace having a narcoleptic episode, to him working on another ingenious device, to him being reckless in his sleep; there was always noise coming from his room. Which was why he found the banging and crashing a near routine thing. Yet he couldn't help but notice how different these bangs and crashes sounded. True it would have sounded normal to anyone else but Marco wasn't first commander for no reason; he had trained all his senses as best he could to make sure he could avoid trouble whenever possible or to save any unnecessary confrontations between foes. He looked to the room with a little concern before coming to a decision.

Ace was breathing heavily as he lay on the ground from tripping over a fallen keg. 'I'm going blind,' he kept thinking to himself. 'I'm gonna be blind for the rest of my life.' He wasn't going to lie, the thought truly scared him now. He had fallen into the unknown, fallen into the true world of darkness without any ideas on what to do and without any means of escape. He would never see again and that was not a good thing, especially since he was a pirate on a ship in the middle of the ocean and had the powers of an akuma no mi which could easily lead to his death if he fell overboard and into the ocean.

It also didn't help that Whitebeard would probably kick him out of the crew now that he was completely useless because the world's strongest man didn't need a blind son tripping around the deck doing more harm than good. On an even worse note, he'd never be able to see those smiles he so desperately loved to see. Especially his brother's grin, that grin had the power to make him feel so relaxed and assured that everything would be okay in the end. But now that he could never see it again, would he ever be able to feel those emotions again?

He had finally calmed down, his breathing slow and steady, and he laid there staring at his bed. Or was he staring at his shelf? He couldn't tell what the hell he was staring at because, well, he was blind. At least yesterday his vision was only blurred and he could still somewhat tell the difference between one large object from another. 'Okay Ace, don't panic anymore. Panic and fear are the enemies. We shall not have any personal enemies in this mind while we're alive, right? Right. So calm down, take deep breaths. Deep breaths. That's it, good. Now, where are you?'

"I'm on the floor in the middle of the room looking at my window," he replied quietly to his thoughts. Now that he wasn't in Panic Mode anymore, he could sense them; the various objects that littered his room. Not only that, but he had a photographic memory of the Moby Dick's blueprints embedded in his mind. (He had studied them during his 100+ Assassination Attempts.) "The ladder should be on my left—," he reached out and touched said item, "—and your bed should be on your right." Reaching out his other arm, he felt the soft and familiar blankets run against his palm and he gave a nervous chuckle. "See? This isn't so bad, right? As long as I have my mental map, everything will be fine." But his high voice betrayed the comment, that much would have been obvious to anyone who heard it. Ace was scared and freaking out on the inside, but tried his best to keep calm. That's what he always told Luffy. And that's also what Garp always told him.

"Anytime you find yourself in a mess, never panic. Panicking gets you nowhere and it gets you there fast. Now, who wants one of grandpa's Fist of Love?"

"Heh, for once the old man's words are actually coming in handy," Ace shakily joked, pulling himself into a sitting position as he wiped the dust off his arms. Wait, was there even dust on his arms? His room was dustless, right? 'Better safe than sorry.'

He made his way onto his feet, looking about the room. "I bet I made a real mess in here. It's going to be hard to clean it all up. I guess I might as well get–"

A knock at the door startled him and he held his breath.

'Marco...?'

"Ace, you awake yet? …If you're up, I'm coming in."

Ace began to have another mini panic attack again inside his mind. 'Oh shit, that's Marco outside my door. What the hell do I do now? I-I could tell him the truth! But there isn't much he could do for me and that'd just make him feel guilty. I guess I could try to hide it but fuck, how the hell do I do that? I can barely stay calm for two minutes! But I'll have to try. I… I don't want to be a burden to my new family.'

Hearing this, Ace released a deep breath and put on a smile just in time for Marco to enter, who looked around at the damage that had been done to the poor room. "Were you having another crazy dream?"

"Y-Yeah, sorry for all the noise. Guess I did a lot more damage than I thought…" He looked around the room, scratching the back of his head and gave a dry chuckle. He looked back up. "Don't worry, I'll clean it all up by the end of the day." He made sure to face the direction Marco's voice was coming from and hoped he was staring at the blond or the male would start to notice how–

"What are you looking at?"

"Eh?"

"You've been staring at the wall beside me… There's nothing there." Ace's eyes finally landed on the blond and he gave a weak chuckle.

"Sorry, just spacing out. Kind of tired this morning. So, is breakfast ready?"

"Almost. I'm gonna head to the galley now though. Care to tag along?"

"Sure," Ace chirped and put on a bright smile. Now that he was nice and calm he could clearly see in his mind's eye where he was going. So long as nothing serious changed on deck over night, he'd be just fine. He hoped. Marco glanced at the male beside him, feeling as if something was wrong with the commander.

"You sure you're alright? You seem… off." Ace waved the comment off with a grin, though inside he was worried Marco might find out the truth already. Marco was the expert on the ship at discovering people's secrets without even having to ask a single question. Really, Ace was envious of the blond's gift, though, at the moment, he found it more troubling than anything. 'At least I have a better poker face than Luffy... A face I guess I'll never see again...'

"Marco, I'm fine. If something was wrong you'd be the first to know, right?" He got no answer and that somewhat worried him. It meant Marco didn't believe him. He had to play it as best he could now, he couldn't afford to screw up already.

He sensed the galley doors were coming up and opened them without a problem. It turned out breakfast had been finished early so the two commanders grabbed their food and took their usual seats as the galley began to fill with their other hungry family members; leaving Ace to eat and listen to his family's crazy stories without a problem. 'So far, so good. Now I just have to keep this up for the rest of my life and I should be good.'

He let out a nervous laugh and he suddenly realized he just grabbed Thatch and Marco's attention because the talking had stopped. He quickly scanned his brain for an excuse. "Sorry. I was just… remembering a time I did the exact same thing. Except stupider. Heh, silly me…" Marco was looking at him, he could feel it. He was eying him suspiciously. Ace hated when he did that. He felt like a bug under a microscope when he was given that look.

"Are you sure you're alright, Ace?"

"I'm fine, Marco. Really. Thatch, do I look off to you?"

"No. Not more than usual." Ace rolled his eyes and smirked as Thatch continued his crazy story about he nearly destroyed Haruta's room. 'See, Ace? You're doing fine. Keep it up and act. more. nor–'

A wild Narcoleptic Episode appeared!

The Narcoleptic Episode used sleep!

Ace fell asleep!

The Narcoleptic Episode ran away!

A wild Marco appeared!

The Marco used Cheek Pinch on Ace!

Ace woke up!

"You fell asleep in your food. Again." Ace blinked. It usually took him a second or two to get his bearings straight after having an episode. He reached for his napkin, only to find it wasn't where he left it. He felt around his plate for it but had no luck in finding it. "Your napkin's right here…" Marco held out the napkin for Ace, a suspicious eye studying him.

"I got some food in my eyes and I can't see. Where is it?" Marco put the napkin into his brother's hand. The freckled male quickly wiped his face clean and gave Marco a small– almost shaky– smile. 'Fix your smile! You look suspicious!' His smile strengthened in the blink of an eye. "Thanks."

"No problem. Look, are you sure you're okay? I could give you the day off if you want." Ace shook his head.

"No, I'm all good, Marco. Really, you're such a mother hen sometimes!" And that suspicious look turned into a glare. Ace knew how Marco felt about the bird jokes, but, really, it kind of just slipped from his mouth. The freckled male chuckled. "Sorry. Slip of the tongue." Marco mumbled quietly to himself, picking up his cup and taking a drink.

"Slip of the tongue, my ass," was all Ace could pick up, making him chuckle even more. He finished his food without another incident, which he was quite thankful for, and excused himself from the table when he was stopped by Thatch.

"My, my, Ace! Your memory is slipping from you," the fourth commander teased. "It seems you forgot it's your turn to clean the deck."

'Fuck fuck fuck–'

"Ah, that's right, that's right… How could I forget," Ace muttered the last part irritably, his eye giving a small twitch. Why did everything have to be so difficult for him? Giving a small sigh, he excited the galley and made his way over to the supply room where he fetched a large bucket, a mop, and some soap. After filling the bucket, he brought his supplies out to stern of the deck where he decided to begin his cleaning duty.

Forty-five minutes seemed to pass slowly for the freckled male and he gave a deep sigh when he realized he wasn't even a third done with cleaning the deck. "Well, I guess I should be thankful," he quietly voiced. "It could have been worse, right?" 'How could it be worse, Ace? Huh? You could have died? Honestly, that wouldn't have been worse, seeing as you don't deserve to live anyway. Okay, let's see… How could this have been worse… You have gone been castrated.' Ace shivered. 'Yeah, let's not go there. Ever. Okay, what else could have gone wrong?'

Busy with his thoughts, he didn't hear Vista approach him. He jumped when he felt someone touch his shoulder and he lifted the broom like a baseball bat, ready to attack if necessary. Vista only chuckled and put his hands in the air. "Easy there, Ace. I just wanted to check up on you. You're usually done with the stern by now." Lowering the mop, Ace gave a light sigh.

"Sorry, Vista. I've been kind of spacing out today."

"Oh? Is something bothering you?"

Ace shook his head. "No, I just got a lot on my mind is all. Thanks, though. For checking up on me."

"You're welcome," the male smiled. He turned and began to walk back towards the main deck. "If you need to take a break, don't be afraid to ask. I won't mind taking over for a while." The second commander gave a small smile.

"Thanks, Vista." The fifth commander was one Ace had taken an immediate liking too, seeing as the man was more casual than some of the other crew members. Turning back to his mopping he gave a startled jump when he suddenly sensed, of all people, Marco standing right in front of him with his arms crossed. "God, Marco… Are you trying to give me a heart-attack?"

"Alright, spill it." Ace blinked.

"What?"

"Something's been seriously bothering you," the first commander continued. "You've practically polka-dotted the stern's deck with missed, unclean spots."

"Well, I… I'm sorry."

"Don't be," the blond sighed, taking the mop from Ace. "Just go get some rest. I'll take over from here."

'It's starting,' Ace thought. 'The my worthlessness is starting to show.' Ace suddenly seem to come to life, more awake and attentive than before, and tried to grab the mop back. "No, it's okay, Marco, I'll finish the deck. You already got a lot on your hands, you don't want to have to add mopping the deck too, right?" Marco seemed to think at this.

"You're right."

Ace smiled. "See? I'll just–"

"Vista can finish the job." And before the second commander could even refuse the notion, Marco had already called Vista over. "Would you mind finishing the deck, Vista? Ace here isn't feeling all too good–"

"I'm fine, Marco!"

"–and is going to go lie down for a bit." The fifth commander grinned.

"Of course," Vista smiled, looking over at Ace. "Get some rest, alright? You look like you could use some."

Ace turned and tried to reason with his friend. "But Marco, really, I'm completely fi–" Marco didn't let him finish and began pushing the new commander over to his quarters.

"Honestly, you can be such a handful sometimes," Marco mumbled under his breath, unaware that the words he just spoke had a crushing impact on Ace. "I wish you would just tell me what's wrong already."

"I–" The commander cut himself off as they reached his room and he cast his eyes to the floor, a look of what seemed like defeat taking over his features. Because Marco was right. Ace was nothing but a bother to him, to the crew. He was nothing but a regret. "I'm sorry."

Sensing something was definitely wrong, Marco's expression softened. At first glance, Ace seemed like just another hyped-up, adventure-going pirate who was up for just about anything and was stubborn beyond belief. But it was starting to become painstakingly clear that was far from the fact. Ace was a very complex human, a very intellectual human, a very secretive human. And it was at that moment, when he was staring at Ace's expression and body posture, did Marco realize how little he knew the male. He knew nothing about him except that he had the most biggest troublemaker as a younger brother, he was raised by a foul-mouthed but caring mountain bandit, his grandfather was a crazed who-wants-a-terrifying-fist-of-love vice admiral, his amazing and loving mother gave her life bringing him into the world, his other brother was sadly killed while setting sail by a celestial dragon, and that he absolutely loved meat, puzzles, learning new things, and causing mischief. Oh, and he seemed very protective of his new family members. But this… The was Ace looked before him, how defeated he looked, Marco knew there was something going on inside his friend. A mental war with himself of some sort.

And Marco would be damned if he just stood by and watched his friend tear himself apart.

"Hey." Ace's gaze slowly lifted from the floor to the blond's face. He couldn't see his friend's expression, but he figured it was a soft one due to the fact that the blond's voice had grown fainter. "Don't look so dejected, it's not like you. Ace, if you're not feeling fine, say something. We're family now, we look out for each other. You are most certainly not a burden just because you can't work for a day." Marco reached out and set a hand on the second commander's shoulder and gave a squeeze. "Don't be so afraid." Had it been any other time, Ace would have argued and spat he was most certainly not afraid, that he was never afraid. That being afraid was never an option because he didn't have the time or mind to be afraid when he had a whole crew to look after.

But Marco's words… They reassured him that maybe, just maybe, everything would be okay. Maybe he could tell Marco what was wrong, that he was going blind and that he didn't want to be kicked off the ship and that he'd do anything to stay with his new family. He even almost opened his mouth to spill everything; about his situation, about who his father was, about how everyone in the world seemed to want him dead. He just wanted to say something. But…

The way Ace remained silent and the look in those conflicted gray eyes told Marco that his friend was indeed having a mini (or raging, he didn't know which) war going on in his mind. But his words seemed to reach Ace because after a moment the second commander gave a small, lopsided smile. "Thanks, Marco." The blond didn't completely buy the response, but it was a start. After all, Marco wasn't exactly the best when it came to comforting people. Thatch was better at that. Marco was the I'll-kick-whoever's-ass-if-they-so-much-as-hurt-a- braincell-of-yours-because-you're-apart-of-my-fami ly-and-I-swear-I'll-protect-everyone-in-my-larger- than-life-family-till-the-end-of-eternity kind of guy.

"And don't forget it. If you ever want to talk, I'm always here. Got it?"

"Yeah, I got it."

"Good." Marco gave a half-hearted smirk before removing his hand from his friend's shoulder. "I have to go now to do some paperwork. So I order you– yes, order, don't look at me like that– to get some rest." And after a moment's thought, he added, "And maybe clean your room while you're at it." The freckled male gave a smirk and lazily produced a mocking salute.

"Yes, sir, Mr. Bird-Man, sir!"

Marco rolled his eyes, muttering, "Smart-ass," as he was walked away. When he was out of sight, Ace's smirk slowly fell and he released a long breath. Even though Marco's words were slightly reassuring, the blond didn't exactly know the extent of how serious the situation was.

"You are most certainly not a a burden just because you can't work for a day."

"Yeah," Ace murmured as he walked into his mess of a room. He looked around and saw nothing but darkness. Something he would see for the rest of his life, however that long would be. "But I bet you'll find me a burden when you realize I'll never be able to work again."

And with that, he closed his door.

A/N: I cannot apologize enough to say how sorry I am this took so damn long to update. I didn't know exactly how to end the chapter and I had rewrite it so many damn times. Not to mention I lost the motivation to finish the chapter. But! Thanks to Star Trek, my motivation came back with a vengeance! Honestly, how can you not love Spock? You just can't. He's just… so… friggin'… AWESOME. I've been reading so many Star Trek fics lately– all very emotional and stuff– so that's kind of why the ending is a little… sudden? I don't know. Maybe it's just me. Sorry if it doesn't exactly match. I've always liked Star Trek but my obsession with it came back with a mean vengeance when I saw the two new movies. I mean, of course I'm not a Trekker/Trekkie or anything. *kicks the heap of Star Trek items under the bed*

Also, I cannot thank you all so much for your kind reviews! I mean… honestly, I want to cry at how kind all of you are and how much of a liking you've taken to this fic. (Actually, I'm pretty sure I really teared up a few times. Which does not happen often, mind you.) It truly means a lot to me, and again I'm so sorry it took so long for me to update. It may be a while before another update, but I'm praying to the gods it won't take as long as this one did. Thank you all so much for being so patient and reviewing! Live long and prosper! Oh, wait, wrong universe… Hehe!

Your rokudenashi ice elemental,
~roo the Vulcan-eared psycho