Okay, so I lied about this being up within the next hour, tough :-D
I knew I was going to cry so I did, I cried on John's shoulder, it felt like heaven to be back in John's arms again although it was for all the wrong reasons.
Suddenly I pulled away and ran to the toilets.
John debated going straight after Claire but he decided to wait, five minutes passed and Claire hadn't come back.
"Claire?" He said uncertainly pushing open the door, as he closed the door he could see me in the mirror, stood at the sink my face red and tear stained, retching but not getting anywhere. Crossing the room quickly he reached me and laid a gentle hand on my heaving back, rubbing my back softly he spoke:
"Claire, calm down, slow down, breathe, just relax"
Gradually my breathing slowed down and I stopped retching.
Watching my reflection in the mirror, John seemed to be debating whether he should say anything
"You're still finding it really hard to fit in here aren't you?" Receiving no answer he carried on "And I guess us getting together then splitting didn't help either"
I looked up at John:
"Our split didn't help but that was my fault. Geoff is suspicious of me as is Danny, Duncan's ok, Rod hates me he made that clear, Tom just doesn't care, Kerry's good, Don fancies me and now wants to kill me and you… well you hate me because of what I told you"
"Claire, I don't hate you, I could never hate you"
"Why did you storm off when I told you then?" I asked tears forming in my eyes again
"I didn't know what to do or think, I wasn't thinking straight Claire, you know what I'm like" John replied turning away so I couldn't see his tears
"Are you crying?" I said incredulously pulling John round to face me
"No it's bloody raining" John snapped
"Don't be like that," I scolded, "You didn't tell Don, why not?"
"I wouldn't do that to you, he doesn't need to know, besides if I'd have told him you'd be dead by now, he has a lot of dangerous contacts who could kill you faster than you could say 'Don Beech I'm arresting you'" John told me pulling me back into his arms
"I didn't know if you would tell him or not, I did a lot of thinking last night and a lot of crying too and I began to wish I hadn't told you"
"Come back home Claire, I need you" John pleaded with me, looking down into my eyes
"Alright, but you need to let the hard man image drop, I know you care underneath, I've seen it, you don't need to be tough around me" I said smiling slightly
John bent his head slightly as I reached up to kiss him, we stayed that way for a long time until the door opened and June Ackland walked in
"Claire? Oh sorry"
"No, it's alright, what's up?"
"Meadows and Conway are outside, they were debating which one of them was to come in, luckily though I walked past"
"What do they want?" I asked
"Meadows is furious the office has been left unattended and they want to know where the hell John is"
"Alright, tell Meadows I was being sick in here and I'm very sorry the office was left unattended, and I don't have a clue where John is" I replied looking up at John
"Shall I tell them you're feeling a little better?"
"Yes please, I'll come out in a few minutes" I waited until June had exited the room "See, gives me more time to do this" I said leaning up to kiss John again
"What was the 'I haven't got a clue where John is' all about?"
"I'm gonna get a bollocking anyway, so there's no need for you to get one as well. I gotta see Meadows anyway so don't panic if you hear me screaming at him" I replied giving John one final kiss before rubbing my face to make it look blotchy and red and leaving the toilets.
More soon in about another hour!
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