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Chapter Two

Jiaan

Jiaan was listening closely to Soraya's relating the events of the past year. Sometimes even he couldn't believe just how much had happened, how much they've changed, or been forced to change. He was looking out the window, watching as the dark blue of the sky overwhelmed the lighter parts in a slow invasion.

A pattering of feet distracted him, and he looked down to see Merdas approaching him. There was a small, yet delighted smile, on the boy's face, as if he has seen a new toy he did not quite know how to play with. He stopped just by Jiaan's feet, and raised his arms in a broad reaching manner, clearly indicating he wanted to be picked up.

Jiaan smiled and knelt down. He rubbed the boy's head, allowing himself just a few moments of tenderness towards one of his only family left; one who would not judge him by his mother's status, or by his past, or by his occupation.

"You're a good boy, Merdas," he said.

The boy giggled. "You look younger!" he exclaimed. Through the corner of his eyes, Jiaan saw Soraya turn around. It was clear to everyone in the room, perhaps excluding Abab, that Merdas had mistaken him for his father. Their father.

Jiaan's first reaction was surprise. Merdas remembered what the Commander – their father – looked like? Merdas had been so little, and their father hadn't spent much time home before the war. His second thought was the huge responsibility that had just been placed on his shoulders. First, how was he to explain to Merdas that he would never see his father again? Who would he say he was? Could he tell Merdas he was his older brother? Sudaba might just murder him in his sleep for that.

He sat down again, pulling Merdas into his lap. "I'm not your father, Merdas," he said gently.

Merdas' bottom lip trembled. "You look like my Papa." Jiaan could see the tears welling in the corner of Merdas' eyes. "I miss Papa."

"I know you do," Jiaan said, pulling Merdas close. "I do to."

Merdas brightened, slightly. "You know my Papa?"

Jiaan looked to Sudaba, wondering if she had explained to Merdas that he wouldn't see his father again. Sudaba's face was closed, showing the pain of knowing that she would not see her husband again. It didn't reveal whether Merdas knew that fact. Jiaan decided that if he was going to claim Soraya as his sister, he was going to have to claim Merdas, too. His only fear was what Sudaba would say. But a Commander couldn't be afraid of his own family.

"I knew him very well," Jiaan replied. "I was one of his aides."

Merdas wrinkled his nose. "He had a lot of them."

"I know," Jiaan said wryly. With one last glance at Sudaba, Jiaan dived into dangerous territory. "We're related, you know. You and me and your Papa."

"We are? How?" Jiaan was glad to see the tears were gone.

"You and I are brothers." Jiaan heard Sudaba's sharp intake of breath.

"I don't remember a brother." Merdas sounded accusatory.

"I wasn't around too much when you were little." Jiaan said quickly. "Our father kept me busy."

"Mama never told me about a brother." Oh, no, Jiaan thought. What should he say now? He could see Sudaba biting her lip. Soraya was wide – eyed at his daring.

"Well -" Jiaan started, glancing at Soraya for help.

"He is your brother through your father." Sudaba said matter-of-factly. "He is not my son."

"I don't understand," Merdas said plaintively, looking between his mother and his sister.

"It isn't important, Merdas," Soraya went to kneel beside him and look him in the eyes. "Things are different than they were before. From now on we can be a family."

Jiaan was shocked at her bravery, shocked that she was claiming him as a brother. He didn't dare look over her shoulder at her mother. Personally, Jiaan thought it would be good for Merdas to have a role model other than his mother. And if that role model couldn't be their father, then Jiaan was willing to fill the gap as best he could– the best Sudaba would let him.

He stole a glance at Sudaba, expecting to see fury on her face, and finding exactly what he expected. But even as he watched, the fury melted away as Merdas came back to Jiaan and hugged his knees, smiling up at him and calling him his brother. Sudaba turned away passing a hand over her eyes.

"We will have to discuss this," she said, a slight sharpness to her tone. Jiaan held his breath and knew Soraya was doing the same, waiting for something worse to come.
When nothing did, Abab, who had been hovering in a corner throughout the entire awkward conversation, took it upon himself to diffuse the tension. He slung an arm around Soraya's shoulders. Jiaan winced. It seemed Sudaba would have no end of surprises today. He almost felt sorry for her.

"Family much good, good." Abab grinned at the room at large. "Much good little boy have family."

"Yes, Abab," Soraya said, looking slightly embarrassed, "I think so, too. I think a family will be very good for Merdas."

The conversations were cut short, when the woman who lived in the house offered them dinner. After a travel to and from the dessert, Jiaan accepted. He sat down on the small table opposite from Sudaba. She refused to look at him.

He could hardly blame the woman; it was not like she was cruel or selfish. As a matter of fact, those were words he'd never ascribed to her even before the Hrum's invasion. It must have been hard, or at least confusing, to be raised with the notion that the only people worth something were deghans and deghasses. And yet in every direction she looked, she must have seen proofs that violated that idea; proofs like him. Because now that the nobles no longer held the position they used to, it would be like her whole life was meaningless.

At least Soraya had the Suud. She already had an identity of her own making. Jiaan hoped they could sort this whole thing out.

Abab settled down beside him, and when the bowl came, the younger boy began poking it with a spoon.

"It's good," Jiaan offered. It was peasant food, but what was the difference to a Suud?

When Soraya came to sit on his other side, he decided to bring up the topic of Kavi again. "Kavi's in Mazad trying to handle things like a good goatherd. What do you say about dropping by sometime later? He's still waiting on news, real ones, about the Suud. If he's going to help, I think you need to let him know the state of the dessert."

Soraya nodded. "I don't mind going tomorrow."

"Going where?" Sudaba asked.

"Mazad, mother. As a matter of fact, I think it'll be good for you to go there too. There's a representative there for the council who you can talk to, so we can figure out where... you can go from here."

Jiaan noticed that she didn't say we. If Sudaba noticed too, she didn't look any more distressed than she had been.

After a long silence, Sudaba looked up at her daughter. "What about marriage, Soraya?"

There were very few young nobles around now, Jiaan thought. Surely Sudaba knew that.

Jiaan heard Soraya sigh. He intercepted her quickly. "I think there are many things we need to discuss," he said, tilting his head ever so slightly toward Merdas, implying that the discussions were not necessary for Merdas to hear.

Sudaba pursed her lips, but made no reply.

Jiaan turned to Merdas. "So what have you been up to lately?"

Merdas launched into a story about his friends in Brasnia. From what Jiaan could gather from Merdas' tale, Sudaba had been sold to a well-off family who quickly discovered her skill at embroidery. Her work had earned her respect, and she was given a great deal of freedom within the household. So she had not had to endure a year of hard labor, but Jiaan thought that a year just below her old station might have been even harder. He wondered if she would be nicer to servants now.

After dinner, Sudaba announced that it was time for Merdas to go to bed. The women who owned the house was very kind and offered them space to sleep. She was a friend of a friend of one of the men from Jiaan's old army, and understood the hardship the year apart caused families. Jiaan promised her they would be leaving in the morning.

After Merdas was tucked into bed, Jiaan, Soraya and Sudaba went to sit out on the porch.

"What do you want to talk about?" Sudaba asked coldly. She obviously was not happy that Jiaan was present.

"The future." Jiaan said, then winced. That sounded cold and hard. He tried again. "A lot of things have changed."

"I know." Sudaba responded. "I noticed that you have now annexed yourself to our family," she added dryly.

"My father did that a long time ago," Jiaan responded. "I think he would want me to be a part of this family, now, too."

Sudaba's lips thinned. "You are very presumptuous."

Jiaan sighed. "I want to be there for Merdas. He won't get to know his father. I can be a support for you, too." Jiaan added tentatively. "I have some money laid aside, and it will help set you up on your feet."

"What about you, Soraya?" Sudaba turned to her daughter. Jiaan winced. "What are your plans for the future?"

"Well, Mother," Soraya started, "I went back to our home. It's horribly damaged, and it would take a great deal of money to repair it. We can't live there."

"What about marriage?"

The color rose in Soraya's cheeks. "I don't think that's the most important thing to worry about right now. We need to get settled again. Besides, there's almost no one my age left. We'll see what happens in a year or two."

Sudaba's eyes narrowed at Soraya's answer. Jiaan wondered if she suspected Soraya of being in love. "Marriage is important. A good marriage."

"Yes, Mother."

"We should all get some sleep, too." Jiaan interrupted. "We can start for Mazad in the morning."

They left the next morning, and Jiaan was pleased that Sudaba did not protest his conversations with Merdas. Abab traveled with them, and though Sudaba often winced at his bad Faran, she did not send him away. Jiaan thought that her sharp edges had been softened, and she was less domineering of her environment. Soraya continued to avoid mentioning her time as a Hrum slave, Jiaan noticed, focusing more on her time with the Suud. Sudaba seemed interested in learning about the new government, though she did not share her opinion of it. It was almost a pleasant journey.

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