(Yes, I know ...this took like 4ever haha! I am really sorry, again. But while writing I realized that I had no idea where I wanted the story to go. Well, the beginning was in my head and I know what the end should be like, but the middle part wasn't there yet so I tried to figure it out while writing and this it the result of it. hope u like it. enjoy :)
Again, sry for any mistakes in spelling or grammar.)

Chapter 2

Months were spent at the fishing cabin. Not daily but as often as it was possible besides the busy work that needed to be done on Heartland and at Fairfield. It wasn't easy. Not as easy as Jack and Lisa had hoped it would be. It made them realize that it wasn't only the lack of private space that made it hard for them to actually live as a married couple but it were also the responsibilities both of them had and followed due to their work. Many other people relied and counted on them which stole a lot of the time that was needed to actually enjoy life itself. So, they agreed on stepping back a bit and make that time to their own. Even this wasn't easy. People were confused and asked a lot of questions but Jack and Lisa kept the renovation of the fishing cabin as their private secret. Nobody needed to know. It was theirs and they would keep it that way.
It was strange if not to say somewhat funny to see the Heartland family becoming more and more curious about Jack and Lisa's permanent absence. Assumptions and speculations were thrown around the dinner table and had the whole family in a big laugh. But as crazy as those many ideas were, Jack and Lisa didn't give in and reveal what they were really up to. The only thing Jack did, was to reach over the table and let his hand slip into hers, reassuring that the secret was save with him and so was it with her.
Tim got the most excited about the mystery about them which was really entertaining to watch. As much as Jack and Lisa cut some time from being with the family, it also seemed to bring the whole family closer together. Everyone started to appreciate the presence of the other again instead of taking it for granted. Even Lou spent more time at home and with her girls since Lisa wasn't there to look after them. Of course, she still did but less frequently. Lou realized that even she had put herself too much into business and work and neglected her own little family.
At the cabin itself was a lot to do. While Lisa was in charge of the inside work, Jack got himself busy by finding more and more spots on the base frame that needed to be replaced or fixed. The true age of the cabin really showed up here and Jack was angry for not having taken care of it sooner. So it took him longer than expected while Lisa was already remodeling some of the old objects Jack wanted to reuse. Above that Lisa made sure to reuse more things from the inside than they agreed on. On the one hand it felt better to not sort out to much and on the other side she liked to give old things a fresh impetus.
Going through all the inside things hadn't been easy. Not for Jack and not for her. Each item contained so many memories that Jack had to be strict with himself not to keep everything. Lisa noticed his hesitations and it made her wonder if they were doing the right thing by renovating the fishing cabin. The idea of owning a private place was wonderful but maybe the cabin wasn't the right choice. More than once the urge to ask him rose in her but as soon as he paused for a moment to look at the memorable thing that lay in his hand, he also ripped himself from his feelings and carried on. She never found the chance to address her worries to him.
It was Saturday afternoon on a hot summers day when Jack and Lisa took a break from their work at the cabin and strolled down to the river. His hands were dusty from sawing wood while she was covered in dabs of brown paint from repainting one of the cabinets.
Down by the stream they took off their shoes, rolled up their pants and carefully stepped into the cold water. The coldness was piercing first but quickly had a refreshing effect on them. The rocks moved underneath her and gently massaged the bottom of Lisa's feet while she slowly walked around, her glance downwards on the many stones that lay on the riverbed. Although Lisa had spent a few times up here in the country, she learned how to be become much more attentive to the natural things that surrounded her. Not only because it was what made the countryside look so characteristic but also because there were so many things that were usable for the interior decoration of the cabin. Lisa used to be someone who was much more into modern fashion or buying and not at all into crafting or 'upcycling'. But renovating the fishing cabin brought many new ideas along. So she dived into her creativity that grew with every time she came up here and looked for natural material like stones, driftwood or plants that were usable.
Jack was washing off the dust from his hands and splashed some water in his face while Lisa reached down to grab a rock she liked. The dried paint on her hand and arm reminded her that she could use a little wash herself. The stains were pretty persistence on her skin and she felt more of them on her cheek and forehead. What a mess, she thought as she rubbed her hands over her face.
"Let me-", Jack said as he was suddenly by her side, dipping a clean cloth that he drew from his pocket into the water and started to wipe off the paint. One of his hand lay around her jawbone while the other did the work.
The dampness of his hand felt good on her hot skin. Lisa was looking at him the entire time he was cautiously removing one dot after the other that seemed to be all over her face. When was the last time she had been looking at him so closely? His features were drawn by age, weather and hard work which had left deep wrinkles around his gray eyes. Those were the same that were shown on some of the photographs that Lisa was going through a few weeks ago when she sorted out the things inside of the cabin. The same kind of eyes. The ones that captivated her every time. The ones she kept falling in love with every single day. Yet, even in them age was displaying itself. Over the years they gained that certain kind of glimmer only men in his age have.
Wisdom.
History.
Those eyes. They have seen so much. So many things. Good and bad and although Lisa knew only a few stories he told her, her heart ached for the sad things he had seen throughout his life. She was almost his age now when he lost his first wife Lyndy. Not only had he been by her side on her deathbed but he also saw her suffering from her illness over months. He saw her in her weakest state, yet stayed till the end, holding her hand, seeing her dying. Lisa knew what it was like. She had gone through the same pain when her father died. To lose someone you love was the most terrible thing and grieving about them was even worse. It was like a big, dark wave that rolled in and out your life, mostly coming in when you least expect it. Even when you thought you were over it - grieving never ends and it was the most hurtful pain because it was your soul and your heart that suffered. There was no medicine for it. No band-aid, no ointment to heal it.
Jack had gone through it more than once. Yet, here he stood with her. In the middle of most beautiful landscape, every day giving her the chance to be with him. Giving his own life a second and maybe last chance. How long will they have to be together? This thought crossed her mind like a bolt in the sky and she was kind of taken back by it. Yes, she had thought about it before and yes, Jack had tried to talk to her about it before but she had never been giving it too much attention. Now was different. When would it be her turn to spread his ashes into the river? This thought pierced through her heart and let a cold shiver run down her spine.
"Are you okay?", Jack's low voice brought her back into reality. He must have sensed that her muscled tensed up and the expression in her eyes had gone blank.
"Uhm...yes.", she managed to say, her throat dry and rough.
With one last swipe Jack finished removing the paint from her face and stepped back to look at her, still demanding a more satisfying answer. But this thought in her head still gave her the chills which made it almost impossible to talk about it. Lisa turned away from him.
The fishing cabin stood in the near distance. The renovation that was currently happening wasn't visible from the outside. Yet, various tools, paint buckets and material indicated that something must be going on. Lisa knew. She knew that they were changing what must be holding so many memories for him. And he hated change.
"Lis?"
"Are you really sure you want me to take on the cabin?", she turned around while speaking. He looked at her puzzled but nodded his head.
"Pretty sure."
Lisa sighed. Of course he was but she wasn't. She was anxious. Anxious to come up here alone one day, grieving about him like he did for so many years about Lyndy.
"There is something you are not telling me.", he pressured her, his expression worried. With another quick glance at him, she exhaled loudly and made her way out of the water. How could she ever explain that the thought of outliving him terrified her now? How should she explain when this was exactly the reason that caused their break up a couple years ago? He had thought about it all along. The rocks scrunched underneath as she sat down to roll down the legs of her pants. With splashing water he followed and stood upright a couple meters away, still awaiting her answer.
"It's...I...I...I'm just afraid.", she threw her hands up in despair and ran her fingers through her hair.
"Afraid of what?"
"Losing you.", was the plain response that escaped her mouth and left a dry feeling on her lips. Their eyes were locked.
"Lisa.", it came out more like a whisper, the crack in his voice noticeable.
He sat down next to her on the riverbank as she kept herself busy by putting on the sneakers that she used while doing the work on the cabin. Even they were covered in dabs of paint.
The moment of silence lay between them like a heavy blanket.
"If this is because of Lyndy."
He was too good in reading her like an open book. Yes, it was because of her. Of her and the cabin. It reminded Lisa of her husbands grieving and she didn't know if she could go through the same. Alone.
She stopped fumbling with the shoelaces and looked across the stream that run in front of them, sending water to some place she had never been to.
"I don't want to spread you ashes into the river.", she said quietly which caused him to turn his head. He hadn't expected that.
Over the treetops a group of crows suddenly ganged up and loudly started to chase away a hawk that just appeared at the sky. It was quite some noise which however faded away as the birds followed the river and vanished behind the corner. What was left was the calming sound of dabbling water and the soft wind that run through the trees. The sun stood high above them.
They still sat next to each other in silence. Lisa turned towards him and looked straight into his eyes. He had been watching her the whole time.
"I would never expect you to.", he said and it was kind of relieving for her to hear him say that.
"You know that place here gave me a lot of strength after Lyndy's death. Marion, Lou and Amy they all were trying to help me get through that time but they couldn't. You know why?"
She shook her head slightly, waiting for him to go on.
"Because they themselves were grieving about her. Lyndy was really close to everyone of us. So it wasn't much of a help to support each other. Of course we stuck together. That's what family is for but spending time alone up here, dwelling in memories and letting go all the pain that's in your heart, that was what helped me to get through it." There was a little pause before he went on. "I want you to have something like this when the time comes."
Lisa blinked away the tears that were gathering in her eyes. She married the most thoughtful man. When had she become so lucky?
"I don't know if I can.", her voice was shaky as the thought of being without him run through her head. She had no idea what she would do without him.
"You will." His hand reached around her shoulder and pulled her into his side where she pressed herself tightly against him, nestling her head under his chin.
"Besides that, I am not planning to leave anytime soon."
She chuckled and sighed deeply against his chest.