Update: 22/12/2018
I do not own Family Guy.
Enjoy!
Lois Griffin made her way to the red car that she parked outside the building, she opened the door and slid right in.
When she got to the driver seat, she got out her grey flip phone to call her father.
"...Wait, a minute" Lois said, something just occurred to her. "Why the fuck, do I have a flip phone when my fucking dog has an iPhone!?"
It was like she didn't think she deserved a touch phone like everybody else in her family.
She drove while calling her father.
"Hello?" Said, the voice of an aged man on the other end. "This is Carter Pewterschmidt"
"Daddy, it's me Lois" Said, Lois.
"Oh, hi pumpkin," Said, her father. "What up?"
But silence only met him on his daughter's side.
It was because it was time for Lois to swallow her pride and ask for a way out.
Her father Carter was stunned to hear chocking noises on the end as his daughter struggled to let the words out.
"Lois, are you okay?" Carter said.
"D-Daddy...is the offer for the ten grand you will give me if I divorce Peter still there?" Lois said.
There.
After so many years, she had done it.
However, what met her was nothing but dead silence, perhaps her aged father was too much in shock because it wasn't hard to realise what she was implying.
Finally, her father said something.
"...You want to divorce Peter?" Said, the man on the other end.
That did it.
Lois broke down and cried. "DADDY! I CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE!"
The man was stunned.
"Peter is making me and my kids' lives a living nightmare" Said, Lois. "He refuses to work, AND he spends a huge amount of money from the bank account that is only there in case something were to happen. He doesn't consult anybody on these purchases. He even abuses me and the kid's just because he feels like it. He even told the whole family that he hates us." before she said. "And I've never told you this, but Meg isn't your first grandchild. Your first grandchild name was Peter Griffin Junior. Peter killed him by shaking him, because he was crying, hours after his birth."
"THAT IDIOT DID WHAT!?" Carter said, and Lois could hear Carter getting his gun and making sure it was loaded.
"D-Daddy, please put the gun down" Said, Lois. "I just want to get away from him, not murder him. Once I get away from him, he's got nothing left. Peter is completely dependent on that bank account, and he's too much of idiot to be a decent employee. He won't last a week without me."
"So you want to make his life hell, huh?" Carter said before he said. "That's my little girl" making her smile. "Well, a divorce document has already been made, but I never thought you would sign it. I can send it to you through the post. Both of you have to sign it, though"
"Don't worry about that, Daddy. If Peter thinks it's for us to get a new pool filled with colourful cereal. He'll sign anything" Said, Lois, before she said. "Peter doesn't read contracts because the words are too small and uninteresting to him."
"Great" Said, her father. "When the papers are submitted. You can stay with us for a bit until we find you a new home. I can even help you get a job, and my grandchildren can stop going to that loser school."
"Daddy, one step at a time," Said, Lois.
"Of course," Said, her father. "We'll; the papers should arrive tomorrow. My little girl is coming home!"
Then the call ended.
Lois was soon on the lane of her house; however, when she saw it, she drove straight past it because a massive part of her wasn't ready to go back to that house.
She circled the block a few more times, before taking a considerable breather before parking the car in the driveway to her beautiful yellow house. A house that had been destroyed countless times by her husband.
She walked up to the door and got out her keys; she used them to open up the red door before stepped inside. Right into chaos.
Her blue painted living room had man-sized holes in the walls, her purple couch had been stripped of its cushions, and her pale carpet was covered in vomit.
Right in the middle of the room was Peter, in the same white shirt, green pants and brown shoes holding up a ripped piece of one of the couch cushions.
Opposite him was none other than her daughter Meg who was drunk and she too had a couch cushion.
Suddenly Peter was sent flying and almost crushed Lois in his path; the impact made her realise where the holes came from.
"PETER! WHAT ON EARTH ARE YOU DOING!?" Lois said.
"Oh, hi. Lois" Said, Peter. "When did you get back from Therapy? Meg and I went drinking, and she's entertaining when she's drunk, so we did a bunch of stupid stuff before coming back here and playing pillow fight", but then he said, embarrassed. "I'm not that good at pillow fight."
And Lois wanted to scream, not only had he encouraged their daughter to drink; he had destroyed the living room.
The only thing that hadn't been destroyed was the Television because he loved it more than his whole family.
She took a breather and said. "...You, know what Peter? Carry on with what you're doing. I'm going to make dinner."
"Really?" Peter said, surprised before saying. "Alright!"
Then Lois walked into the kitchen; Peter could wreck the house all he wanted; she was no longer going to fix it.
She must have been going for hours because suddenly she could hear the sound of feet entering the kitchen.
"Mom, what's cooking? It smells delicious" Said, Meg.
"Shut up, Meg" Said, Peter. "Nobody wants to hear whatever comes out of your mouth." making his daughter depressed.
"That does smell good, Lois," Said, Brian.
"Well, today. I thought I should go all out for a special occasion that is coming up" Said, Lois putting down the steaming hot food onto the brown table.
"Is it my birthday?" Peter said.
"No, Peter that was four months ago" Said, Lois.
And it was the most expensive day of the year for the family because Peter turned full on entitled brat that they all had to put up with for a few days.
They sat down and ate; they enjoyed the food because it had more care put into it than it usually was.
"That was amazing, Lois," Said, Peter before getting up and saying. "Now I'm going to watch tv."
He did not offer to help clean; they found him sitting on a roughed up couch, laughing at the screen like an idiot.
We'll; nobody had anything better to do so they joined him.
Now that reality had been slapped into her, and she could no longer make excuses for her husband, she found that she couldn't stand sitting next to Peter.
He was just so incredibly stupid, and his laugh was terrible to listen too.
To make matter worse, she was pretty sure he was farting secretly next to her, and she could see faeces around his ears.
"THAT IS WHAT I WANT TO DO TOMORROW!" Shouted Peter having watched an advert about some kids having fun with sludge. "IM GOING TO FILL OUR POOL WITH SLUDGE!"
Bear in mind, that much sludge wasn't cheap to come by, Peter had recently supersized their yellow kiddy pool.
"Sure," Lois said.
"Go for it," Brian said.
"Can I come and watch?" Said, Chris.
They had all become so used to his stupidly expensive ideas that they weren't even going to say anything.
"I'm going to bed" Said, Lois.
She wasn't walking; she was fleeing.
"Okay, bye mom," Meg said.
"Shut up, Meg," Peter said, once again putting the girl down.
Lois frowned before going to the staircase and going up it; she could see exactly where Peters' feet had been because there was a giant dent on each step.
This staircase was a health hazard, which she had fixed once, but Peter was too stupid to use the fixed one and kept getting himself injured.
Nobody else in the family had problems with the fixed stairs, so she had to sacrifice her own family's safety for somebody who couldn't be bothered to ask somebody to take him downstairs by hand.
She entered her bedroom, the bedroom where she had to worry about if Peter fat would crush her while she slept, she was forced to wear ear plugs because Peter breathing was so loud that it could wake the dead.
She went to her side of the bed and instantly could tell which side was Peters due to the large body shape on the other side and how the bed dipped a lot on Peters side.
She went to the bathroom and put on a pink nightgown.
She came back and grabbed a book she was reading on her side of the bed and put on her glasses from her cabinet to read.
Peter came back up, panting and said. "Hey, Lois. Let's install an elevator."
Why don't you get on a treadmill? Lois was almost tempted to say, but instead, she said. "I'll think about it."
"Let's, have hot steamy sex tonight," Peter said, making more demands of her.
The thought would have appealed to her a day ago before, but she did not want to see Peter naked, right now.
Well, the heavens hated her.
Peter got naked, and Lois almost threw up.
His body was nothing but fat and stretch marks that sagged.
How!?
She remembered a time when he could be called big-boned, but this was something else.
"Let's do it," Said, Peter.
"...Peter not tonight" Lois said, making him frown. "It's that time of the month again for me, so if you stick it in, the condom will be covered in my period blood."
"Gross" Peter said, officially turned off.
He went to the bathroom and came back in his navy blue PJs before getting into bed, Lois could almost hear the bed cry under his weight.
"Good night, Lois," Said, Peter.
"Good night P-and he's asleep," Lois began before seeing him snoring as if he had a blowhorn attached to his voice.
She switched the light off and placed the book back onto her cabinet before getting out earplugs and going to sleep with them in.
Her peacefully sleep only lasted several hours before her body warned her that Peter was rolling over and he was not stopping.
She had been to the hospital enough times for her body to know what was going to happen next.
Lois tried to stop him, but his weight and force overwhelmed her quickly, so to avoid being sent to the hospital again, she jumped ship.
She rolled off the bed and onto the floor in which she decided to sleep on, knowing full well that it was terrible for her back, but at least she could walk it off in the morning.
#Next morning#
Lois woke up, and it was no surprise to her that she woke up before Peter. She saw the time and went to the bathroom to shower and brush her teeth, before putting her make-up on.
She then put on her signature green shirt, grey pants and black platform shoes before going out and waking up her children for the busy day ahead.
Peter appeared when there was food already prepared and then after eating that, he didn't walk out of the door and go to work just like any decent family man would.
Instead, he took off his clothes, stripped to his white briefs, grabbed a blueberry pie from the fridge and headed to the living room to relax on the couch and watch another re-run of 'Friends'.
Lois was not impressed.
"Bye, Kids," Said, Lois sending Meg and Chris off to school.
Then she picked up Stewie and took him to Daycare.
When she came home, Peter was still on the couch, but this time, he was cutting into the leftovers of last night's dinner.
She closed the door only for somebody to ring the doorbell making her turn around and get it.
"Package for Peter Griffin" Said, a mailman in blue shorts and a light blue shirt, he wheeling out boxes of sludge.
"My sludge has arrived! Boy that was fast!" Said, Peter, no doubt billing the price to the bank account.
"Sign here, please" Said, the mail person and Lois did.
Then he gave her their letters which she took, before walking away and she shut the door.
Bill.
Bill.
A threatening Letter.
A Bill.
Court day Letter.
Divorce Letter.
Lois' eyes widened when she saw the official Divorce document that her father made sure to send to her.
She quickly went upstairs and went into the bedroom to get a pen, in a minute flat she had the letter ripped open, and she began to sign.
She trusted her father to make the worst possible terms for Peter without even looking.
Now to get Peter to sign.
She walked downstairs and said. "Hey, Peter. Do you want a pool filled with colourful cereal?"
"A Pool of Colourful Cereal?" Peter said, instantly sitting up and attentive.
"I was thinking of getting such a pool, but I need both of us to sign it," Said, Lois. "Can you imagine all those colours?"
"Lois, give me the pen. I will sign" Said, Peter and Lois did.
However, Peter eyes instantly zoomed into the words 'Divorce' in big letters at the top.
"Wait a minute. Why does this say Divorce?" Said, Peter making Lois panic.
"...That doesn't say Divorce, Peter." Said, Lois. "It's pronounced completely different because it's Swedish for 'A colourful pool'."
"Really?" Peter said.
"Do you want the pool or not?" Said, Lois.
Peter instantly began to sign where Lois started to point and couldn't help but notice how many spots he had to sign, but he was too lazy to read one paragraph.
"Thank you. Peter" Said, Lois rolling it up. "Now, they can bring the pool over once I give them a call."
"Yeah!" Peter said.
Lois went upstairs and called her father.
"Hello?" Said, his voice.
"Daddy," Lois said.
"I'm free."
And scene!
Next chapter, Lois tells the kids they are going to their Grandparents house for a while which gets both Brian and Peter out of the house. However, things go south when Peter tries to use his card and its rejected. Review/fav and follow!