Chapter 2—the Discovery

If anyone ever asks me, which year of your life you would like to do over, I would definitely choose the year I turned 14.

At the age of 14, I have already passed all of my violin examinations with flying colors. With high praises from the music community and encouragements from my violin teacher, I started performing in various events. Over the years, I have always enjoyed the adrenaline rush that came with performing. That exhilaration of performing in front of a crowd, touching their hearts with my music and basking in their applauses, it had become addictive. I vowed to become a violinist. No, I vowed to become the best violinist and I would bring my music to everyone.

I still remembered that night when I performed at the Nakano Sun Plaza. The concert hall holds 2000 seats. It was my first time to debut my own compositions. All the years of practicing, all the sacrifices I had made, it was all for this moment. I peeked out from behind the curtain. The orchestra was already in place and the conductor was doing his usual last minute meditation. He had his eyes closed and his hands floated in midair. It looked like he was conducting an invisible band. I guess different musicians had their different ways of preparing. I closed my eyes to prepare myself. This was the routine I do every time before performing. I conjured up an image of a calm ocean. I smiled as I listened to the gentle waves. Then, all of a sudden, the gentle waves turned violent. The ocean, once blue, was now red with blood. Storm clouds rolled in, and the sky turned dark. "What?" I opened my eyes, shocked at the image that flashed through.

That was the first time I had a vision. I did not have time to process what I saw, as I was distracted by the applause and the parting of the curtains. I smiled, thinking to myself, it must have been stress. The vision was forgotten as the first note was played.

That night was a huge success. After the concert, my parents hosted an extravagant party in my honor. Much to my dismay, they even invited some of my classmates.

"Don't be rude, Michiru. Go say hi to your peers." Mom gave me an encouraging smile and pushed me towards the crowd. I walked slowly towards the pack of wolves. These girls were vicious at school and they hated me just as much as I hated them. "Just smile, say your hellos and then you can run away," I told myself.

"Oh, it's the almighty music prodigy. I am so HONORED to have experienced your music." Hina sneered. I looked her in the eye and imagined she was being ripped apart by some monsters. I could say something mean. I know her weaknesses.

"Hina, stop it." A tall dark figure appeared behind Hina. She was about six feet tall and she was wearing an expensive suit. I looked at her, intrigued. I have never seen her before and she was definitely not like these shallow girls.

"HI, I am Alex. I am Hina's cousin."

I shifted my eyes quickly, as I realized I was staring. "Hi, my name is Michiru". My heart was pounding fast and I was sure my face was as red as a tomato. "Why am I so nervous…."I thought.

Then I caught Hina's eyes. She looked like she was ready to kill me. She pulled Alex roughly to the side and started yelling at her. I couldn't make out what they were saying. "What a weirdo. Why is she so mad at her cousin?" I thought.

I found out a week later that they were not cousins after all. Alex broke up with Hina that night. Much to my surprise, Alex contacted me a week later. She said I was interesting and she wanted to get to know me better. We started hanging out after school and had long telephone conversations at night. She even introduced me to the world of Muay Thai. I was wrapped up completely in the whirlwind of Alex. My usual cool exterior melted away and I was reduced to a helpless kitten whenever I was around her.

One thing led to another and Alex became my first girlfriend. I fell in love with her. She was gentle, kind and strong. I had always known I was interested only in women. I was unapologetically gay, despite my girly appearances. However, now that I had a girlfriend, I started to wonder about my parents' reactions toward such news. For a society that emphasized on conformity, what would the world say about a gay violin prodigy? Luckily, Alex was closeted herself and she understood perfectly. We kept our relationship a secret for almost two months.

Then one night, my world shattered into a million pieces.