I leaned back into my chair. Hosting was over and we were now just brothers. Not some taboo love act anymore. Just plain, best brothers. I stared at the ceiling, letting my arms dangle at my sides. Hikaru was out with Haruhi for the day. Possibly night, too. Which I hope wasn't the plan. If someone came in at that moment, it'd be like seeing a lifeless Kaoru just sitting there. I wasn't moving an inch, if it wasn't for my steady breathing.

I let my thought linger for a while. I was scheming something. A dark little thought that has been planted into my brain. Each thought of Haruhi and Hikaru together was like the water to a flowering pot. It made the little thought grow and grow. These thoughts about the two were endless. What if Hikaru was kissing her? What if he liked it? I groaned in frustration. The dark thought was growing now. And I was letting it form up a plan. Just what kind of plan would it be? I looked down into my lap and brought my hands there and entwined them.

I liked to think that I was holding Hikaru's hand. We were very identical, it worked, but it wasn't right. I knew it was my hand. I let go, putting my hands onto my desk. I had homework. Maybe that will get my mind off him for a bit. I had two assignments that I didn't want to do in class, so now it was homework. I sighed, bringing out a pen.

Eventually, I got way too bored of that and decided to go see if dinner was ready. I jumped out of my seat and went for the bedroom door. I passed by a few maids on the way, greeting them and telling them a nice job they were doing. To encourage them to do better. I walked into the dining room, the plates were prepared.

"Young master. Nice to see you here early. Where's the other young master?" the chef said. I shrugged, telling her that he was out. Other young master. I sighed, no one could tell us apart... Apart from Haruhi, that is. I seated myself into a chair and waited for who knows how long until my plate was fully prepared in front of my eyes. I sat alone in the room, aside from the maid waiting patiently to be ordered to do something. I looked at her, inviting her to sit, as well. I didn't wanna sit alone.

"You can sit down if you'd like... Or you could leave, you choose." She stood there, contemplating on which to do. I nudged my head over to a seat. Inviting her to actually sit down. "What's your name?" I asked carelessly. I wanted to know who is joining me at the table.

"Jasmine." She replied quickly. I nodded, taking another bite out of my well done food. We sat in an aura of awkwardness. I had nothing else to say so I just sat and ate. She was boring. I thought. Why can't she be more like Haruhi. I froze. Why would I want her to be like Haruhi? I didn't want that. Jasmine could just stay her well-obedient quiet self. I sighed in delight as I finished up the last bits of my food. The chef came in not to long later to ask if I enjoyed the food. I smiled and said yes. He smiled and went back to work. Not after saying his thanks, though. 'Cause that wouldn't be nice on my end.

I went back up to my room. I pondered if I should go work out some, lose the calories I've gotten. I didn't want to be large, but I was also too lazy from the meal. I could work out tomorrow. It was a Saturday after all.

I laid in my bed, thinking when Hikaru would get home. It's already after 7pm. Maybe he decided to stay with Haruhi for the night. Or dinner. I hope it was the dinner thing, otherwise I wouldn't be able to sleep without thinking what Hikaru might be doing to Haruhi.

That night, I almost cried. He wasn't home yet, and it was 10:30pm. I wiped any form of tears threatening to fall. None so far. I stared at my ceiling, over thinking my thoughts. Ways to divert Hikaru's attention on myself. It wasn't exactly nice thoughts, but it helped me through and it could probably work out. If I did everything right, of course. There were all these thoughts that came to me.

I knew right from wrong, but I wanted to try something out from my thoughts. Self-harm wasn't exactly what I planned to do, but it lingered in my brain. I couldn't even think of doing that to myself. I didn't want ugly scars. That were there for no actual purpose. Maybe there could be a purpose, though. I chose not to go through with it. Scars were forever.

Then there was changing myself and all my ways. Similar to what we had done when we planned out our 'fight' scenario such a time ago. I thought myself to be a 'punky bastard.' I chuckled at the thought. It wouldn't be believable. It could be, but I wasn't much of an actor when it came to changing my whole personality and dressing up into a new character.

Another thought stuck out to me. To not talk. It wasn't fairly a big thought, but it spoke out the most, ironically. To not talk... I thought over it. It was boring to not talk. All these thoughts would just cram up in your brain, eventually causing overflow and snaps. What was the whole point of it if I was eventually gonna talk again?

There were many other thoughts that reached to me. Another was running away... Could I actually do that? It wasn't like self-harm, or extreme changes. It was another way of saying 'living independently without anyone knowing about my whereabouts.' Yes. I could run away. It takes lots of courage, though. I don't think I have that. Well, enough to actually go through it.

Hikaru stumbled into the room, causing me to jump out of my thoughts. He smiled at me. I smiled back. No, he wasn't drunk. He was more in a happy daze.

"I was with Haruhi." the other said. I nodded, smiling along.

"I noticed." I chuckled. It hurted so much to live like it was normal. He walked around the room, the smile forever planted on his face. Why couldn't I do that?

"I asked her out," I froze. My heart stopped at the words. Shock went through my eyes. What? "She said 'yes.'" I couldn't speak. I didn't want to listen anymore. I didn't want to cry in front of him. Instead of being mad, I put on a facade.

"Really? That's nice." I smiled, putting on a tone that showed I was happy for him. "Better not let Tono hear about it.." I trailed off, I knew Tono-sempai had a thing for Haruhi. Hikaru looked at me. Shock evident in his eyes.

"Oh no... Tono's going to kill me that I've taken his 'daughter' away from him!" He exclaimed loudly.

"Relax, Hikaru.." I said, "Maybe he's fine with it." I hoped not. I hoped he would force Haruhi to get a restraining order filed against Hikaru. This seemed to relax Hikaru a bit more.

"You're right. Maybe he is fine with it. And maybe, just maybe he'll saw my head off." He got ready for bed. Slipping off his shirt, I took a long savouring glance at his well-toned chest. His ribs poked out as his arms stretched up to take off the shirt. I looked away, blushing. It was so nice to sleep with this kind of image in mind. Though, with Hikaru being with Haruhi, that gave me more courage to actually go along with the plan.

AN: Hey, there, people. Thanks for reviewing, Formidable Rain, I appreciate it. Also thanks to those who have favourited and the such. Here's another update for you. Review, my lovelies~