Chapter 2

It couldn't be worse
Don't bother asking
And here comes the nerves
While I'm trying to bask
In your sundrenched world

-Sundrenched World by Joshua Radin

The weekend passed at a snails' pace, which aggravated me to no end. I spent most of my time holed up in my closet sized bedroom playing my guitar and composing new songs, which provided a nice distraction from my constant thoughts of Edward that circled around in my mind since the moment I had gotten home from school late on Friday afternoon.

The snow had ended while I was with Edward, and thankfully for me and my state of mind, it didn't snow again all weekend, the strong sun melting most of it before nighttime on Sunday. I was relieved that the roads and sidewalks would be somewhat clear as I headed to school on Monday morning even though it was expected to be bitterly cold, but I was also bubbling with excitement at the prospect of seeing Edward again. Unfortunately for me, Alice could also sense my enthusiasm at the possibility of seeing Edward as we sat in front of the TV, eating pizza for dinner with her new boyfriend, Jasper, on Sunday night. Of course she didn't know why I was wound up in the first place, but seemed bound and determined to find out.

I looked over at them and smiled, a little envious of their relationship if I was being perfectly honest. I watched as Alice casually took a tiny bite of the vegetarian pizza that Jazz had brought with him when he showed up unannounced at our door. They had been dating for a few weeks, but were already perfectly in sync with each other since it was just five minutes before he arrived that Alice was stating how much she would love some pizza for dinner, but we couldn't afford it. He was a welcome surprise to say the least.

"Do you guys want to watch a movie?" I questioned, as the episode of 'Friends' we had been watching came to an end and the news was about to come on, which I really didn't care to watch.

"Did you have anything in mind?" Jasper asked as I shrugged my shoulders and tried to think of what movies I had in my room that I had brought with me from Forks. Almost Famous, A Hard Day's Night and my extensive Harry Potter collection, that was it. Nothing I wanted to watch tonight though.

"I got nothing. What about you Alice? You must have something other than Confessions of a Shopaholic and Legally Blonde right?" I said with a small giggle as Jasper turned and looked at Alice with an expression of surprise clear on her face. What did he think a fashion major owned… Schindler's List?

"I think we should do something else," she stated as I looked at her with a quirked eye brow, unsure of what was going through her head. Then again, I don't think a mind reader would have been able to accurately figure out what was going on her brain.

"Like what?" asked Jasper with a full mouth of pizza as he glanced over at Alice again, almost as curious as me.

"Let's talk. So… what's been going on with you Bella? You've been a little off since Friday night," commented Alice casually.

"What are you talking about?" I questioned as I slipped my slice of pepperoni pizza on my paper plate and looked at her with concern. Was she really able to tell something was up? It's not like I had spent that much time with her over the past few days, but that wasn't necessarily out of the ordinary for us. After all, Alice wasn't like the best friend I had brought to Chicago with me from Forks or something. She was the girl who advertised that she needed a roommate and I moved in. We were friends by circumstance really.

"I mean… I know we've only been roommates for a few weeks, but I'd like to think that I can read people really well and you just seem out of sorts. You have hardly left your room all weekend with the exception of eating and showering," she announced as Jasper patted me on the shoulder, like a good friend, even though this was the second time I had met him.

"Alice is just worried about you," he offered as I took a small tentative bite of my pizza. "Is everything alright?"

"Is this like some sort of intervention?" I laughed through clenched teeth as Alice shook her head slowly from side to side in the negative. "I promise you guys that I am fine alright? I just happened across some inspiration lately and have been working on some new songs. Most students hole up in the library and write their essays and reports, but I have the pleasure of sitting down and composing music. So please don't worry. This is what I do."

Alice tried to act like everything was alright and took a big sip from her glass of the Diet Coke, which Jasper had brought in addition to the pizza. Once she had a moment to think, she came back with the question I was dreading. "So… who or what inspired you then? I'm kinda curious, because it's everything from the world around me that inspires me when I design," she stated quizzically as I let out a small groan. I could certainly appreciate the fact that Alice was studying fashion design, both of us creative individuals in our own right. However, right at this moment, I didn't know how to answer her question. I knew I couldn't tell her about Edward, but I also I couldn't shrug it off because she could always tell when I was lying.

"Being stuck in the school on Friday during the snow storm just reminded me of life back home," I said, thinking quickly as she nodded her head in response and took another bite of her pizza.

"So… what about life back home?"

"Seriously… are you gonna quiz me about my need to compose? I don't ask you about your insane need to go down to Sammie's Fabrics every other day and check out their new shipments of silks, satins and god knows what else," I stammered, feeling flustered and somewhat angry. I didn't need to justify my urge to write to her, and I wished she would simply understand.

"It's all good Bella," sighed Jasper as he held up his hands in defeat. "We know composing is important for you. I think Alice is just worried. However, it's clear you are a big girl with a good head on your shoulders, so we're going to trust you. Right Alice?"

"Fine. No more being concerned about your well being," said Alice with a small huff as I finished off my slice of pizza and grabbed another. Even though Alice seemed to relent, I could tell this wasn't over for her. I ended up deciding to go back into my bedroom instead of hanging out with them, claiming I wanted to give them some space, but simply needing some of my own.

~*~*~

On early Monday afternoon, after my music theory class, I headed over to Lisa's Café to get myself something for lunch, since I didn't want to leave campus. It was both the best and closest café to my afternoon class, so I decided to grab something quickly before heading off to my next class. I scanned the menu, having already memorized their daily specials and decided to order a small container of Italian Wedding soup and a tuna melt. However, as I stood in line, I couldn't fight the feeling of being watched. I looked around absentmindedly and didn't see anyone I knew, so I simply stepped ahead and placed my order.

As I waited at the side of the counter for my order, I finally noticed Edward sitting at a table less than twenty feet away from me. I raised my hand when I saw him look up, hoping to get his attention, but he turned his face to the side and completely ignored me, choosing instead to talk to the two girls and one guy at his table. What the fuck was that all about?

I couldn't help the ache that filled my heart at the fact that Edward had basically shunned me. I knew we weren't exactly best friends, but you would think being stuck in a music room with someone for a few hours while getting to know them might have meant he could wave back. Seriously, was it too much to ask for a wave or even a small smile?

One of the girls at the table with him looked up and noticed me staring at him and tapped his shoulder, as though she was going to call me out for looking, so I turned back towards the counter and waited for my lunch, my appetite now completely gone. When I looked back, she had narrowed her eyes at me, so I pretended to continue looking around the room, as though I was looking for someone I knew. I couldn't help but realize that she looked jealous and angry at me even though I hadn't done anything. Then it hit me… he had a girlfriend. The blonde definitely looked like girlfriend material. She reached over and touched his arm as I turned back to the counter to hear the guy preparing the food call out my name, much to my relief.

I grabbed my bag tightly in my hands and when I looked back towards Edward, the blonde bitch was touching his arm again and he looked up, his eyes seemed almost sad. What the hell was going on here? Not only was I worried about how Edward basically ignored me, but I was flustered with these feelings of jealousy that were boiling beneath the surface. I had no reason to be jealous of the blonde because Edward and I were nothing to each other but casual acquaintances, but I couldn't help it. I also couldn't stop the feeling of hurt at the fact that he hadn't even acknowledged me, even though we made eye contact. "Are you alright miss?" asked the server as I held my bag firmly between my shaking hands and nodded my head.

"I'm fine," I said quietly as I pushed my way through the throngs of people standing in line for their lunch and practically sprinted to my class, arriving thirty minutes early and attempting, although half heartedly, to enjoy my lunch in complete silence. As expected, I couldn't get the situation at the café out of my head. Was he ashamed to be seen with me or even admit to knowing me? I knew I wasn't the prettiest girl in that place, but he could have waved. Seriously… a fucking wave? Hell even a head nod or some sort of acknowledge of my presence would have been nice. I couldn't even warrant a wave after he claimed he wanted to see me again. Jesus, I was so fucking naïve.

I went through the motions of class and when everything was said and done, I went over to see Mrs. Cope in the music office. Unfortunately, she wasn't as prepared for me as she claimed she had been and she asked me to come back on Wednesday to start working. I sighed in aggravation and wrote down my cell number, asking her to call me if anything changed and then I headed over to my favorite rehearsal room to try and take out some of this frustration on my guitar. I was shocked as hell when I walked into the room and found Edward sitting in my favorite chair, staring out the window aimlessly.

"Get out," I said forcefully as I stood frozen in place, my knuckles turning white under the pressure I exerted while holding my guitar case. "You shouldn't be in here. It's for music students."

"I'm switching majors," he said with a nervous laugh and I withheld the urge to step forward to slap the smug grin off his face.

"Whatever, just get out. I need to practice."

"And I need to talk to you."

"I don't think there is anything you need to say that I actually want to hear, so let's just make this easier on both of us and you can leave now."

"You are so fucking stubborn," Edward declared as he stood up from my chair and stalked towards me. Now that I was getting a good look at him, I could see that he had shaved his face and I had to admit, I was a little disappointed. The scruff he had going on last week had suited him and now he looked more like a scared boy than the confident man I had met three days ago. Of course, his eyes were bloodshot proving once again that he had been smoking up at some point recently. "Will you please listen to me?"

"Will you tell me why you acted like I didn't exist today? I know you saw me." My voice cracked, showcasing just how scared I was, and I was shocked when Edward stopped a few feet from me, sensing my hesitance.

"Can I take you out for coffee?"

"That isn't explaining anything Edward," I replied caustically as he ran his fingers through his hair and I bit down on my bottom lip. We were certainly quiet the pair; neither of us getting right to the point.

"I'll explain over coffee."

"No. You can explain now. If your reason is good enough, I'll consider going for coffee with you."

"Fuck, fine," he cursed as I moved over towards my comfortable seat, and he took a seat on the floor, much like last Friday. "I don't want to share you."

"What the hell kind of explanation is that? You just sound like a fucking child who doesn't want to share his Winnie the Pooh phone or some shit like that," I stammered angrily as I interrupted him. He was frustrating me beyond belief, but his eyes seemed so soulful and honest that I decided to shut up and listen to him. "Sorry… go on."

"You are… fuck; I don't know how to say this without coming off like a complete jerk. Okay, so you are like this brand new thing in my life, right… and I don't want to share it with my friends because they will make assumptions about you and me… and I just… I like having you to myself. I like knowing I made you smile or that something I did made you bite your lip. It's nice." Edward let out a sigh of relief once the words had left his mouth, as though the weight of the world had been lifted from his shoulders. Sadly for him, it didn't make what he had done right. He had ignored my existence and it made my self esteem ten times worse than normal. Hell, on a good day I was teetering on the brink of depression but after today he was simply making it worse.

"I don't think…"

"Don't think. Just go on instinct. Say the first thing that comes out of your mouth," he said, his voice practically begging for me to reconsider his request. Was it even a date? Fuck, coffee was never a date.

"The first thing? You are a fucking idiot. That is the first thing that I can think of," I admitted ruefully as Edward looked down and began staring at his feet that were clad in a ratty pair of old Vans. "You couldn't have waved?"

"I never claimed to be the smartest person," Edward began as I scoffed loudly at him and his head lifted up. "Okay, I deserved that, but seriously… it's just coffee. I won't do anything to it. What do you say?"

This was going to be my worst decision ever made, but I did it anyways. I had questions that I wanted answers to and if I had to go out in public with this idiot, I would do it. "Fine. When?"

"What are you doing right now?" he asked quickly, his eyes pleading and looking so sad, empty even. My heart went out to him and I gave up trying to distance myself from him. There was just something about Edward looking broken that did me in.

"I'm going to get coffee with you," I said quietly as Edward's eyes lit up in a way I hadn't seen since Friday when we were chatting happily about music. "Do you want to go to Starbucks? Einstein's Bros? I think they are both open and are pretty close by."

"Do you trust me?" he asked with a smug grin as he quirked an eye brow at me and I reluctantly nodded my head. I had no reason to trust him, but the look in his eye made me feel different, like he was being genuine. Edward enthusiastically jumped up from his spot on the floor, his entire body radiating excitement as he grabbed my backpack from beside me, easing it over his shoulder. "This thing is kinda heavy ya know."

"Thanks for pointing out the obvious. I can carry my own bag, so give it back," I stated angrily as I grabbed my guitar case in one hand and reached out for my backpack with the other. Edward deftly moved out of the way and I stumbled slightly, tripping over my own feet as Edward reached out and grabbed me before I hit the ground. My backpack was about to slip from his shoulder and I grabbed it, screeching loudly as Edward made sure I was standing up again before covering his ears in surprise. "What the hell was that?"

"That was me being clumsy because you refused to give me my backpack. If you had dropped that thing you would have owed me a new fucking laptop," I yelled as Edward looked at me with wide eyes before bursting out laughing.

"Come on Guitar Girl… we have some coffee to go get," he stated as he shook his head from side to side before he reached his hand out and I took it anxiously, our hands clasping together in a friendly gesture, not an intimate one. We walked out of the building and towards the parking lot, my free arm wrapping around my body to keep the cold away since I hadn't had a moment to do up my jacket before we left the music room.

I followed Edward across the half empty campus, and noticed his eyes darting around us to see if he recognized anyone. I couldn't help the feeling that hit me that even though he wanted to be my friend, he still didn't want to be seen with me. As we moved closer to an ancient looking Volvo, the only car parked in this section of the parking lot, I decided to ask him during coffee what the hell was running through his head.

"This is umm… my car. I know it's nothing special, but it runs," he said as he released my hand from his and gestured towards the dark green car and I simply nodded my head in acceptance.

"At least you have a car here," I said stoically as he opened the passenger door for me and slid my guitar onto the back seat as I climbed in, pushing the mess on the floor with my feet, so I could get somewhat comfortable. Edward ran around to the other side of the car and turned down his CD player before turning on the car. We sat in silence for a few minutes as we let the car heat up, both of us rubbing our hands over the air vent to get warm. "I have a classic pickup truck back at my parents' house in Washington."

"State or City?"

"State."

"I've never been to either actually," he laughed nervously as he looked behind us and checked his mirrors before peeling way too quickly out of the parking lot, considering the ground was a little icy. I held onto the handle above the door as Edward glanced over and noticed my trepidation, so he slowed down. "I wouldn't let anything happen to you."

"And I know that how?"

"I just told you. Have a little faith in me, Bella."

"Why did you hold my hand as we left the music room?" I asked as we turned onto East Chicago Ave and headed away from the school. Edward kept his hands glued to the steering wheel and waited patiently until we reached the next stop light before finally answering.

"I didn't want you to go away," he admitted tentatively as he reached his hand over and rested it on top of mine. It was like a tiny bolt of electricity shot through me at the small exchange, but I reveled in it. Nothing like that had ever happened to me before. "I just had a vision of me getting you outside of that room and you running like the wind because no matter what you said, you didn't actually trust me. I know I was an idiot and I have to earn your trust, but if you had run, I would never get the chance."

I extended my free hand over and placed it softly on top of Edwards', my heart literally skipping a beat as he looked at me with the most gorgeous half assed smile I had ever seen. "Lights green," I said in reply as Edward looked up and returned his focus to the road. We sat quietly for the rest of the ride, our hands resting on each others, and after almost ten minutes I couldn't help but notice that we were quiet far away from campus.

"Do you know where you are going?" I questioned as Edward smirked beside me and patted my hand, which was still holding his.

"Yes, I know where I am going. Sometimes you have to go out of your way to get the things you want," he stated genuinely as I put my head back against the head rest and closed my eyes, deciding to trust him. For now anyways.

When I opened my eyes again, we were pulling up in front of a small coffee shop called Bellisima on North Broadway, not far from Belmont Harbor. We were seriously a good three miles away from campus and though it was a bit disconcerting to me that we were so far away. However, I tried to do like Edward asked; I was trying to have faith.

Ten minutes later, we were situated in a small booth near the back of the coffee shop, waiting patiently for our order. "This is a little bit out of the way you know?" I stated as Edward grasped uneasily at a sugar packet and folded the corners, clearly nervous.

"I know. They have the best coffees and bear claws in the city."

"You drove this far out of the way, through the late afternoon Chicago for a bear claw? I'm sorry if I come across like a bitch right from the get go, but I can't help but feel we are here for another reason," I admitted, my voice coming across as timid but fierce. Our waitress came at that exact moment and gave me my café latte and Edward his black coffee, along with the bear claw he had ordered. The moment she walked away, I turned back to him and narrowed my eyes as he stared back at me anxiously. "Are you ashamed to be seen with me?"

"Fuck no, why would you say that?" Edward asked in frustration as I watched his hands grip his coffee cup as he then pulled it up to his tender looking lips, taking a slow drink. I followed suit and had a drink, wondering if there was any way to subtly tell him what was going through my mind, deciding that I just had to be blunt.

"You wouldn't acknowledge me at Lisa's on campus today and then you drove out of our way for a damn coffee. Do you know how many decent coffee joints we passed on our way up here? All for a fucking bear claw? I have a hard time believing that Edward," I admitted apprehensively as Edward hung his head in shame and I immediately thought I was spot on with my assumption. "Well, this has been the shortest and most revealing coffee date I've ever had." I slid over on the bench and was about to get up to leave when Edward grasped my forearm firmly.

"Can you just sit down for a moment and let me explain please?" he asked, his eyes sad and pleading with me to just listen to him. I acquiesced to his request and sat down; even though my brain told me this was pointless. "Anyways, you can't run away too quickly. I have your guitar in my car. You wouldn't leave without it would you?"

"I could always just leave and claim you stole it. I'd get my guitar back and I'd be able to exact some revenge on you for treating me so great yesterday and like complete shit today," I stated as I took another sip of my coffee and waited, my fingernails tapping a random tune on the table top as Edward let out a small sigh.

"I guess I deserve that, but I swear I have a reason," he explained as I looked at him expectantly. It was one thing for him to basically blackmail me into staying because he had my guitar, but it was another to sit here and skirt the issue. I may have been lacking in self confidence, but I wasn't an idiot. "Have you ever had something you've never wanted to share with anyone else? I know, I asked you about this earlier, but I'm serious. I feel… different… around you and I don't want other people to feel the same way I do."

"Different how?"

"Curious, quiet, introspective, protective, possessive even" he said, the reluctance at his admission clear in his voice. "I want you all for myself."

I let out a small sigh, unsure of what to do with this newfound information. It seemed a little weird coming from Edward, because he was so uninterested in almost everything. Then again, I hadn't known him long enough to really determine his true personality. Everything I knew about Edward I had learned over a couple of hours while being stuck in a music room together. He liked classic rock; he found shaving annoying, didn't really care about how he did in school and enjoyed microwaving things. He was a bit of a slacker enigma, who smelled of weed, peppermint and coffee, and I couldn't prevent the pull I felt towards him.

"I know it's really idiotic of me, but I really want to spend more time with you; just you and me. Well, you can maybe bring your guitar every now and again, but it's not necessary," he said with a nervous laugh. Something told me that Edward had never been turned down before and he clearly thought that this was the direction I was moving in. "You look skeptical. Just give me a few days with you. Hell, even one more afternoon and perhaps I could convince you that today and Lisa's was just me being confused and not sure what to do. Everything you make me feel is very foreign, Bella."

"You're right, I am skeptical," I said quietly as Edward began to run his fingers through his mass of bronze hair in obvious trepidation and I couldn't help the urge that coursed through me to do the same thing with my own fingers to his hair. They were even twitching involuntarily against the table, they wanted it so badly. "However, I'm willing to give you one more chance."

"I promise you won't regret it Bella," Edward declared with a sly grin as he reached across the table and grabbed my hand, cupping it in his tenderly. It was the first truly intimate thing Edward had done since I had met him just four days ago and it honestly made my heart skip a beat.

However, as I stared into his expressive green eyes and watched him take a sip of his coffee with his free hand, I couldn't help the slight feeling of foreboding that claimed me. This was either going to be the best thing that ever happened to me, or it would break me, but I was willing to let my heart lead the way, for now.

A/N: So this site is in like total fail, but through the magic of cut & paste, I got this bad boy posted finally! Huge thanks to my beta MaggieMay14 who is off somewhere drooling while watching Little Ashes. Lucky Bitch. Oh and much love to my girls flightlessbird11 and Risbee who rock my socks off.

Just so you know, this will be a SHORT story. I actually outlined the thing and it's only 12 chapters long. Possibly 13 if I decide to do an epilogue. All the lyrics mentioned in this story belong to Joshua Radin, not me sadly. If you don't listen to his music (which is a shock since I mention him in a lot of my stories including American Girl and Cabin Fever) you should at least listen to the two I will reference with this story.

Now hit that little green button and show me some love, cause I love all of you guys!