Rhett Butler had never felt so many raw emotions in all his years of hard living as he had now. Neither his father's disowning of him nor Scarlett's miscarriage, which he would always blame himself for, had caused as much destruction to his heart he now felt. He had to admit that Bonnie's death had been his most devastating blow up until this point. But, as he walked further away from the one woman who was his emotional undoing these past 12 years, Rhett realized his heart was now thoroughly scourged and stripped of any feeling.
Rhett hated Scarlett for all the torture she had put him through during their tumultuous marriage yet, oddly enough, he knew in his heart he would love her passionately until his dying breath. There could never be any other woman who would become part of his very soul as Scarlett, unknowingly to her, had become. Rhett knew he never would be through with Scarlett no matter what he had just told her as he left her crying on the doorstep. They were made for one another and would never be truly happy unless they were together…because "like mated with like," as Rhett once proclaimed to her. At this point, however, all he wanted to do was to get as far away from her as possible and so Rhett was heading down the quiet, misty streets of Atlanta towards the train station and ultimately back home to the genteel grace of Charleston. He had a yearning to find something left of the charm and beauty of his youth and that meant he had to leave all his memories and sins of the past here in Atlanta. He knew one day he must return as he had promised Scarlett that he would show up now and then to keep gossip down. Besides, the only person who ever completely belonged to him was buried here and he could never leave Bonnie alone in the darkness this city had become for him without visiting her grave often.
As he got further away from the hated Peachtree Street house and the source of his pain, He knew he needed to put as much distance between himself and Scarlett as he possibly could so that she could come to realize what she had lost. Maybe she then might appreciate Rhett's ever present love after all the years of refusing to see how it was always there for the taking. He remembered that when he was slyly courting her against her knowledge during the war years, she would light up like a Christmas tree when he returned to her after months away running the blockades. Rhett always laughed to himself at her reaction to seeing him each time he showed up on the doorstep. She always tried to hide her thinly-veiled excitement but he was no fool and knew he was the only man over the age of 16 and under the age of 60 who was around to show her a good time like she secretly desired. These stolen moments with Scarlett only served to have him fall deeper and more violently in love with her and he knew he was lost forever. Rhett hoped that time and distance would get her to see the errors of her ways and mature her a bit. The bitter irony that he had what Scarlett was searching for all along and was hers for the taking angered him to no end. She had such an amazing business sense when it came to the store and sawmills yet when her personal life was involved, she was such a stupid, immature child.
Holding on to a foolish childhood fantasy, Scarlett had been distracted with the 'elegant' Ashley Wilkes and never noticed what Rhett offered her was the real deal. How Scarlett ever fell for such a boring, lackluster man like Ashley, Rhett could never understand….especially since Scarlett had a passion for living that Rhett shared and Ashley would never be able to comprehend. Rhett waited, since the first moment he laid eyes on her, for Scarlett to want him and only him, with both her body and soul as he had given to her of himself.
He was devastated with the knowledge that only Scarlett's body was available to him while the part he had wanted all along, her heart, belonged to Ashley. Realization quickly dawned on Rhett that to Scarlett she had only seen him as a provider of money, a good time, and a substitute for Ashley in the darkness of night.
When Scarlett finally proclaimed to Rhett that she loved him her declarations opened up a new wound in his heart until he couldn't bear to hear her lies any longer. He wasn't going to be toyed with like one of Scarlett's Twelve Oaks barbecue beaux. Rhett was a spectator at the scene of her comforting Ashley only a few hours ago as Melanie lay dying. The thoughts of her so intimately close to the man he knew she lusted for while Rhett silently stood nearby continually played in his mind and was the final blow to his heart and ego. Worse still, Scarlett told him she made a promise that she would look after Ashley and Beau upon Melanie's imminent death. "Nothing better than getting the first wife's permission," Rhett thought to himself sarcastically as his mood darkened even further. Even Melanie was no fool at the depth of Rhett's love and devotion as, apparently, some of her last words to Scarlett were about Rhett. Scarlett had infuriated him when she came running home from Melanie's deathbed suddenly switching her affections to him from Ashley all of a sudden when she had wasted so many years in her ignorance. It was too much to bear any longer and Rhett's mind was made up…. he was like a wounded animal and knew when to finally walk away from the good fight with his tail between his legs.
Their marriage had begun with the promise of future happiness until their house was completed and they moved in. The cavernous space of the interior became a metaphor for their marriage as much distance seemed to separate them with the passing of time. Scarlett wanted to make the Old Guard "pea green with envy" by constructing the most obnoxious, ostentatious house that Rhett's ill- gotten gains could buy. Fortunately, Rhett thought with foresight to make his bedchamber a haven of sorts in an attempt to help have one space in the house where he could feel at home. He modeled his room after the bridal suite at the National Hotel downtown where they lived for several months while their house of horrors was being constructed. Knowing Scarlett even better than she knew herself, Rhett vowed that most evenings after dinner he would get her to sit with him by the fireplace in his room and discuss business dealings over a brandy or two. Her sparkling eyes lit up with pride whenever Rhett discussed the financial aspects of her successful business ventures and her entire demeanor would change as she slowly relaxed. Rhett knew the effects talking business created in her and quite rightly hoped that Scarlett would let her guard down and end the evening in more pleasurable pursuits with him. By doing this as often as possible, he was hoping to further cement their marriage with a bond of mutual respect, admiration, and love. It was a pleasant night such as this the night Bonnie was conceived and he had hoped her birth would bring them closer together. Instead, Bonnie had inadvertently driven a wedge between them.
The day she refused to allow him to share a bed everything he had hoped for had been lost. "Damn you, Scarlett," Rhett muttered under his breath as his frustration began to boil into anger as he thought of that horrible day. He had gone to Scarlett's room under the impression she had wanted to spend the evening alone with him in privacy and his heart raced as he hoped she had finally turned a new corner in their relationship. Walking over towards her, Rhett realized Scarlett had been thinking only of Ashley and his thoughts were confirmed when he stepped on the portrait Scarlett had so dropped. When she said she no longer wanted his babies and his intimacy, he had flown into a rage knowing this was only about her lust for Ashley. Rhett knew from then on his life with Scarlett would never be the same ever again.
Rhett turned the corner quickly as he passed Scarlett's store, 'Kennedy's Emporium'. Rhett truly admired Scarlett for where all her grit and determination had gotten her. Like himself, she was a survivor, and a tough one at that, but she survived only at the expense of those around her and her own personal happiness. He thoroughly understood the hardships she had to endure during the war but, afterwards, Rhett thought she came out of the ordeal more battle scarred than the Confederacy itself. All he wanted to do was to be by her side and enjoy all the spoils their life together offered yet she continuously threw all happiness he offered her away. The store Scarlett owned was a painful visual reminder of the one time she had needed him most and he could not be there for her to give her the tax money for Tara. It still hurt him to think how close he had been to losing her forever after she forced herself to marry "old whisker face", Frank Kennedy. Frank was a good, honest, soft spoken man but Rhett secretly rejoiced the day he was killed so that Scarlett would be available for him to pursue once more. Now none of that mattered to him anymore…..he was going back home to Charleston to where he belonged and planned to drink away all his memories and dreams of her once he got there. Lost in his thoughts, Rhett suddenly looked up as he realized that he walked, not to the train station, but to the one place where the comfort he needed would always be waiting for him. Pushing through the swinging wood saloon doors, Rhett entered Belle's establishment and climbed the well-worn stairs towards his room.