Author's notes: Thank you very much to all who read and loved this. Also thank you for the review Stoneface, I'm glad you liked it.

Again, this fanfic may have spoilers for anyone who didn't finish the game. You have been warned.

Disclaimer: I do not own call of duty. Why would I write fanfiction if I own call of duty?

Modern Warfare 2: No Russian

"No Russian"

Starring Makarov and his Russian bunch with one American

"I'm sorry sir but you can't bring weapons in the airpo-"The poor little guard said before getting shot in the head.

"Lets get in the elevator, that way we won't be having any problems at getting in." Viktor suggested. Following Viktor's plan, the group got into the elevator where elevator music starts playing.

"I hate elevator music…" 'Alexei Borodin' said.

"In Soviet Russia, music plays you." Makarov said causing the group to laugh.

"Oh, I remember that joke back in America!" 'Alexei' said causing the group to go silent.

"…What?"

"Nothing!"

"Remember, no Russian." Makarov reminded then began walking towards the crowd and prepared their machine guns.

Then the crowd got their own machine guns (Including the baby) and pointed them at Makarov's group.

"….Uh…. Get back to the elevator, get back to the elevator!"

"Remember, no Russian." Makarov warned. Suddenly 'Alexei' shot one of the men in the group.

"What did you just do?" Makarov yelled.

"You said no Russian and he's a Russian!" 'Alexei' answered.

"No! I meant not to speak in Russian, глупый!" Makarov yelled. Now everyone pointed their guns at him. "No, no, no wait!"

RA-TAT-TAT-TAT-TAT!

"Remember, No Russian." Makarov warned. The group then began walking toward the crowd of civilians. They readied their machine guns and shot them all.

"Ow! Hey watch it!" A civilian shouted while all the others were unhurt.

"Huh?" Makarov wondered.

"We mixed up our real guns with air soft guns didn't we?" Viktor asked.

"Dammit, get back in the van."

Modern Warfare 2: No Russian

"That was no message"

Starring Makarov and his group of silly Russian (and one American) terrorists.

"You sent strong message to this attack." The Russian helping them in the van said.

"That was no message." Makarov said. "Did you kidnap the news reporter?"

"Da, he's here." The Russian said bringing a scared reporter with a camera.

"W-What do you want from me?"

"I want to send my message, ready your camera." Makarov ordered. "Now as I was saying. That was no message, this is a message!" Makarov said giving the camera the middle finger.

"That was no message, this is a message!" Makarov said showing a piece of paper to the camera man.

"Milk, eggs, brea-"

"No wait, that's my grocery list!"

"That was no message, this is a message!" Makarov said showing a piece of paper to the camera man.

"I love you Vikto-"

"No wait, that's mine!"

"That was no message, this is a message!" Makarov said showing a magazine to the camera man.

"A Playboy magazine?"

"No wait, that's mine!"

Author's note: That's it for the "No Russian" mission. I hope you guys found it humorous; the next one will be a "Commercial".

Also, I just used an "English to Russian" thing I found on the internet to make this: глупый which I think it means "Fool" or "Stupid".