My eyes crawled open. They fluttered from the morning light that filtered through the tattered curtains.

I groaned and winced when my head throbbed. I rubbed my temples.

Biting bile flooded my mouth as I covered it.

I leaned forward but my legs constricted. I reached over the edge of the bed and tugged a wastebasket with my finger in front of my muzzle.

Vomit poured from my quivering mouth.

What happen?

An acute twinge pierced my thoughts.

I wiped the vomit from my mouth and blinked the drowsiness away.

Set up the thing...got the stuff...something, something.

I rotated my aching jaw encircles.

Why am I sore?

My gut churned when the scent of alcohol encroached my flaring nose.

Right, drank...something else...

I rubbed my nose while I rummaged on my distorted thoughts. I flicked my dry tongue against my chapped lips.

Chara raspy snores stabbed my ears.

My gut tightened and breathing hastened as my body wavered:

But why?

I vomited into the trash. I shut my eyes as they tightened.

Bed...sleep? But why am I sore?

I rolled onto my back and stared at the ceiling. I ran my hand down my forehead to my chin.

Okay...recall the day...

Woke up, dressed...umm, ate? No...

My mind blanked.

C'mon.

I rested my hand on my stomach. I touched something crusty, dry and up a trail along my gut. I tugged on the strands of fur as I glanced at it.

Right...naked...for...?

A keen, potent twinged contorted my gut like a twisting knife.

My eyes widened as I held my breath.

...No...

I shook my head as repugnant, revolting residue defiled my insides.

They promised.

I gulped down the vile truth as it simmered in my gut. The flashes of the night flooded my mind as it sunk its venom:

I snickered. I cried. I hysterically laughed.

Chara broke it.

My breaths lashed at my throat.

...I want out...I want out of this...I'm done...

Chara mumbled, my skin crawled. "Shhh, Azy, trying to sleep." They shifted in the covers.

I popped my knuckles as I tightened them.

My blood seethed.

It's over.

My fingers trembled.

Shower, pack my things, and just run...

My chest hallowed as my heart sunk like a rock.

But where? I don't have mo-

I hauled myself up, rummaged Chara's pants, and seized their cash.

They'll be fine...I think...maybe...

I donned my clothes, rushed out the door into the frigid damp air , and bolted down the stair but bumped into:

Chara.

Cold sweat snaked down my spine. Knees locked.

They stared at me with a...cute? Blank expression and eyes like they're exhausted.

My head spun and I clutched onto the stair's railing.

They smiled and waved at me before they clenched their right hand in a fist and rotated encircles by their chest.

I blinked. "Err...s-sorry, I need to go..." I dipped my head between my shoulders before I slipped past them and jogged off towards the motel's sidewalk.

Past stores before I distance myself from the motel and strolled down the streets by plazas.

Cars whirred by, sirens blared in the distance, and people's heavy footfalls pattered against the cement.

I scrunched up like your typical loser you'd see anywhere else.

My legs carried me down the street. I dragged my useless self as far as I could in the direction that might saved me from this hell.

With a thousand in the pocket that'd last a month...or half...if even that... maybe enough 'till I find a job...if I even can.

I sat on a bus stop's bench with my face cradled in my palms. Absolutely pathetic.
I arched my chest back with my leg on my knee and pretended like everything is okay because Chara said, 'if you don't seem strong, people will take advantage of y-'

My aching heart crumbled as I chuckled. My eyes welled with blistering tears.

...Right...

I wiped my tears before I fixated on a blissful couple across the street while they held each others' hand.

A maya toned fish-lady with a crimson ponytail and an eye patch strolled beside a mustard-hued stout lizard-lady with glasses.

My heart yearned for the love they had, to hold hands with the person who swore to protect you; their playful smiles and laughs warmed my chest, I longed for the days of old; they kissed one another in a loving embrace, I cried tears of joy to see others happy despite that'd I never grasped it because:

I'm disgusting.

The couple strolled off into the distance.

But for a fleeting moment, I genuinely smiled.

My ears wilted when the teeming warmth ebbed.

...Wonder if we looked like that...?

I scratched the back of my head and sighed.

Cars, footsteps, and chatter droned as I stared at the ground.

I flicked my nose and sniffed. My heartstrings frayed as I clenched my teeth.

Where'd I go wrong?

I rubbed the tears from my eyes. A chilling prick coursed through my veins.

I loved you with all my heart. Why'd you never love me back.

My chest constricted, I crossed my arm while I covered my quivering jaw.

All I wanted was to love you and help you. Why'd you do this to me?

I shook my head and rubbed the bridge of my nose.

Chara's voice rung in my mind, "You're so fuckin' spoiled."

I just want love.

My temples throbbed as my stomach growled.

I want love, comfort, and shelter. Is that too much?

Their voice carried throughout my wracked thoughts, "You're so fuckin' spoiled."

Yeah, always...

I snickered.

Because that's all I ever am to you.

I curled up and shivered.

Or was.

My crooked smile dimpled my cheek.

I stood, strolled down the street, and headed to my heaven or so I hope.

The bedlam of the streets faltered as the crowds dissipated when I arrived to the familiar street, the one we grew up on.

A keen pang grasped my heart.

I exhaled the past and stepped forward:

To my home.

My feet clattered against the concrete as I glided my hand along the rugged, rock wall below the elevated houses. Small dogs yipped and rattled the chain fence. The sprinklers hissed while the scent of fresh cut grass tickled my nose, which would be mundane to most but it isn't to me.

A car whirred by before its tires screeched.

My ears stood. Heart thrashed. I anchored in place.

The window rolled down.

The tarnished car reversed.

The monster's eyes locked with mine.

My stomach pitted.

"Hey, azy," Chara's voice grated my ears like nails on a chalkboard.

A keen jolt surged up my spine.

"Funny finding you here."

Sweat trickled down my forehead.

I fixated on my little suburban home across the street.

"Y'know they won't, right."

I gulped.

"Not after the shit you did." Chara laughed.

My knees locked.

"Also, funny thing." They paused. "My money vanished."

My body wavered.

"You wouldn't happen to know where it is?"

I clenched my fist. My breathing accelerated. I froze in place like a frightened animal.

"Azy, look at me."

Just leave me alone.

"Azy."

I rummaged for the cash in my pocket and extended my arm towards the window. "T-take it."

Chara snickered. "Azy, get in."

I shook my head.

Their voice sharpened, "Azy."

I shook my head.

"Where you going to go then?"

I shrugged, I side-glanced at them before I stared at my house.

Would they let me back?

"You know exactly what's going to happen."

My gut contorted.

Silence.

My thoughts scattered.

"Fine, be homeless." Chara snatched the cash.

I grit my teeth. "I-I don't care."

Silence.

I stared at the ground.

Just go!

"Get in."

I shook my head.

"Get the fuck in."

I popped my knuckles as the truth shot up my throat. "I want out." I sniffed as searing strands of tears streamed down my face. "I just want to go home...please." I scrunched up and crossed my arms; my muscles constricted while my breathing shorten.

No reply.

My wavering legs buckled.

I whimpered, "Please."

Silence besides the car's whirring engine.

"P-please let me go."

No reply.

"Just let me go please." I sniffled.

"Look at me."

I slued my head towards them:

Chara's hand rested by his pocket with the pistol in it. "Last warning."

I glanced at my house.

"Don't."

My mind wailed for me to run.
My legs pleaded for me to run.
My heart longed for me to run:

But I didn't.

. . .

Keep me caged because I'm afraid.

Keep me close because I'm on the ropes.

Keep my by your heart because I'm falling apart.

(I want out!)

But you won't give me what I need because it'd mean I'm freed.

You didn't use it to keep people out but to keep me in.

So I promise I won't pout because you win.

. . .

Chara shoved me into our apartment room. Slammed the door. Their bitter glare pierced my heart.

The revolting stench of alcohol invaded my flaring nose.

I sagged my head between my shoulder as I rubbed my arm.

"Such a fuckin' crybaby." Chara stepped beside the bed, sat, and stowed the gun in the nightstand's drawer.

If I just take it, maybe?

"Also..." Chara stared me, their cold eyes narrowed. "If you try anything." They paused. "I'll put you down, got it?"

I halfheartedly nodded.

Chara huffed, they undressed before they slipped under the covers and slept.

I leaned against the wall across from the bed and crossed my arms.

Would they...really do it...? I flicked my tongue against my dry lips. My stomach growled.

"Azy, you can't leave."

My brows parted. "What?"

"You heard me, leave and I'll do it." Chara shifted in the covers.

"I'm just going t-"

"Starve, asshole."

My ears sagged.

Minutes droned.

I gulped my saliva to alleviate the dryness in my throat. I tilted my head back against the wall.

Run, I die. Fight, I die. Do nothing, I die on the inside.

My gut contorted as I shuddered.

I fixated on the drawer.

Chara's voice thundered in my distorted thoughts. "Did you fucking try to SHOOT ME!"

I dropped my head between my shoulders and rested my wavering palm on my furrowed forehead.

Maybe steal the money, hide, and then...then... I shook my head. They'd find me.

I sighed.

Call the cops...and they do what? Oh? Why don't you just leave...ha...

Can't run, I don't want to fight, so what do I do?

My eyes dragged to Chara.

Maybe steal the keys and—They'd have nothing then.

I shut my eyes and tightened.

Maybe they'll get better? They've been improving...sort of...

The images of last night encroached my thoughts.

My body tensed and numbed.

But how many more times will that happen?

I whispered, "I can't do this." My eyes widened when Chara crumbled in their sleep.

...I'm stuck...

I glanced at the nightstand.

But I don't have to be.

A frigid chill shot down my spine.

I can threaten them, yeah! That'd work.

My feet anchored to the ground and my stomach fluttered as my head spun.

...I can't do it...

Tears streamed down my cheeks. I clenched my teeth.

My back slid against the wall as I collapsed onto the ground and sobbed.

I just want out.

My chin quivered as I curled up into a ball.

Why's it so hard?

I glanced at the nightstand.

...It's the only option.

I shook my head.

No...I can...maybe...

My eyes dragged towards my side of the bed and I fixated on a spot below the covers.

Call Nine one, one. Make an incision. And hope for the best...

I crawled on my fours to the end of the bed. I rummaged the crevice and touched the knife's plastic hilt and tugged it out: the blade stained in my dry blood.

Chara grumbled.

My heart ceased.

I raised my head above the bed to check on them. Idle.

...Okay...

I gulped and glanced at the old landline phone. My stomach pitted.

It's the safest way.

Sweat welled in my palms.

Either I stay and hope they change or run.

I clenched my fist.

Call, cut, and cry for help.

My brows drew together.

What if I get put into a mental ward:

Another prison.

My breathing accelerated.

It's either suffer here or suffer there.

I inhaled, held it, exhaled.

It's better than here.

I stepped by the phone. Knife in hand.

My hand quivered as it loomed over it.

Chara grumbled.

I froze.

Silence.

I slued my head as I peeked over my shoulder. Asleep.

Come on!

I grit my teeth as I fixated on the phone with my hand over it.
My scattered thoughts flooded my racked mind.
My breathing quicken while I froze.
Fingers curled and twitched.
I clenched my teeth.
I snatched it and...

Dialed my escape plan: It rung.

I set the receiver on the table as someone answered.

My stomach knotted as bile crept up my stomach.

I dragged myself to the bathroom.

Shut the door behind me.

Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale.

I glanced at my pitiful image within the mirror.

Cut deep, go fast, and pray.

Flipped my wrist.

Blade nestled against the flesh.

It sank into my skin.

Real quick.

I shut my eyes and tensed.

They'll be here soon.

Tears flood down my cheeks.

Inhale, exhale, the blade dug.

Come on.

I clenched my teeth.

COME ON!

My arms locked.

COME ON DAMMIT! PLEASE!

I panted.

Bile churned.

World spun.

Vision bleary from the tears.

...It's going to hurt...

My mind wailed.
My heart pulsed.
My mind hushed.

...I'm too scared...

I whimpered. Shoulders collapsed. I cried like a child. Pathetic.

Run.

Where?

Just run.

To?

Just run!

Chara's words clutched my mind and burrowed into it. "If you try anything...I'll put you down, got it?"

They're coming, run!

I froze in place.

You'll be arrested.

My chest tightened. My breaths lacerated my throat.

Run.

I shoved the door opened stepped out but:

Chara stared at me with a blank expression. Their eyes trailed to the knife in my hand.

I glanced at the door.

Harrowing silence.

My head spun.

Our eyes clashed.

"C-Chara...I-"

They pulled the drawer open, grabbed the gun, and pointed at me.

My muscles stiffen. Chest hallowed. Breathing quickened.

"Going to stab me, fucker!"

"N-no!"

"Shut the fuck up!" Chara stood. "I'm sick of you!"

My grip around the knife tightened.

"Drop it!" Their hair veiled their eyes.

I shook my head.

"Drop it!"

I sniffed.

"Drop it azy!"

I dragged my head as I shook it.

Silence.

The muzzle of the gun stared me down.

I glanced at the door.

Sirens rung in the distance.

Chara peeked at the window. "What the fuck did you do!"

My hanging chin quivered while my words clung to my throat.

Chara shook the gun. "YOU SPOILED PIECE OF SHIT!"

"I-I'm so-"

"Fuck you! I did everything for you and this is how you treat me!"

I scrunched up.

"I should've dropped you the day I met you!"

My heart crumbled as its strings frayed.

"I fucking hate you, you goddamn toxic PIECE OF SHIT!"

I leaned forward with my hand reached out.

A flash of light. My ears rung. Something struck my stomach like a sucker-punch.

The world spun and blurred.

My eyes fluttered:

Chest heavy.

My body slammed against the wall as my knees bent.

Visceral, searing pang jolted up my spine.

Fingers twitched from the synapses of my brain.

Something warm trickled down my convulsing gut.

Breaths wheezed.

Flash of light. Stomach ruptured. I collapsed into the ground with my limbs splayed out.

Chara snatched their pants. They stormed out the door:

They left me.

I smiled.

...I'm free...

My eyes dragged shut before they shot open until slumber beckon me as my muscles spasmed when a visceral twinge surged up my stomach while I whimpered like a pathetic dying dog and clutched my warm cavities; I drifted off into a daze but:

Shoes rapped against the ground. Someone held my limb body in their arms. They carried me out.

I shivered, my eyes dragged open. I gazed at Chara?

...Maybe you did love me...

The world faded to black.