I woke up the next day to alex and jack jumping on my bed. "were goin to warped… lets go!" they shouted. I woke up and rolled out of bed.i slept in my clothes so I brushed my teeth and fixed my hair. "leggo" I said. "you are the easiest girl ever…" jack said in awe. "dude…shes my sister." Alex said fake offeneded. "you know how I ment it." Jack said punching alex. I was downstairs and got an apple and a water bottle out of the fridge. "okay im ready." I said and they ushered me out the door onto the bus. I ran inside and found the only open top bunk. "mine." I said like a child and put my stuff into it. Jack climbed into my bunk with me. "this is actually mine…. But we can share it." He said like a kid also. "fuck no." alex said from his bunk. Jack pulled open the curtain,put his thumbs over my lips and pretended to kiss me. I flipped alex off. "jack.. what the fuck!" alex climbed into my bunk and saw we were pretending. "fuck you both… but sereiously.. jack. Away from my sister you freak." Alex said and with that jack started to climb over me since I was laying down and said "ill get you one day my wife." And growled/snapped his teeth at me like an animal. i broke out laughing and alex threw him out of my bunk. Alex replaced jack and we both sat in my bunk. "Emily. I need to talk to you." He closed my curtain and took a deep breath. "you are my only sister and sibling now. Im doing everything I can to protect you." When he brings up tom… he is sereious. "I don't want you falling for anyone on this tour. I know it sounds harsh… but most guys in bands are dicks. Their music may say theyre all lovey dovey but behind closed doors… they don't mean a thing." I gulped and it felt like a dagger to my heart. He didn't know what every musician ment when they wrote music…. He had no right to judge. " I promise" I don't know why I said it…. Mabey it was more for tom … I don't know. "thank you so much em. I love you" he hugged me and hopped out of my bunk. "I love you too." I whispered. I dug in my pillow case and pulled out that old folded up piece of paper.
Dear tom,
I miss you so much. Im going to be there soon. I don't care if they tell me im too young to understand. I loved you so much. Everyone misses you. Why did you have to go? I guess tonight is the night ill be able to find out. They wont miss me. They are all to devastated by you. A few hours and ill see you again. I love you so much tom. Im doing this for you.
Goodbye ~~~ Emily
I read it over and over until my eyes were so full of tears I could make out the words I knew by heart. Everything was supposed to end that night. But alex came in and found the pills in my hand and sang to me to calm me down. Just hugging me. Hugging me util I felt better.
I read the note whenever I feel sad because I know that alex will always be there for me.
I wiped my flowing tears and got out of my bunk. I found alex in the living room talking to zack about the setlist and sneaked in and hugged him. "note" I whispered into alexs ear. Alex nodded and just hugged me back and continued talking to zacvk. "note" was our safe word. Whenever we needed to cry, needed a hug,or just needed to talk we whispered '' note " and we understood. Alex and I stayed like that long after zack and alex stopped talking. Soon enough alex asked " whats wrong" he was stroking my back and I was crying softly into his chest. "I miss him alex. I really really miss him. And I just wanted to thank you. I love you so fucking much. I owe you my life. You are the best big brother ever. You are everything I hope to be alex. I hope you know that."I was crying harder now and I could tell alex was getting choked up because his voice was cracking. "I don't want you to be me. I want you to be more. Hell I know you will be more. You know why? Because you are so strong. And I envy that of you. You don't turn to alchohol and sex. You turn to music. You let it all out. But I guess that's why I have you. We are eachothers rock. No one and nothing will ever change that okay? This is what tom would have wanted. Us pulling together. Not falling apart" he kept rubbing my back as I stopped crying. "thank you again alex." I said as I hugged him and stood up to go to the bathroom to freshen up. I looked in the mirror and was shocked. I apparently didn't wear makeup. Okay. Am I sick or something? I shook my head and washed my face. I felt better but my eyes were still red. I looked around for my glasses and put them on. Ehh it worked more or less. I walked out into the back living room and found zack and jack playing call of duty. "Emily….. you wanna play?" jack said warily. I snapped back into focus. I guess I was staring at the stripper pole on the bus…. Oh god. I laughed and replied "why yes I would jack." I stood infront of jack and motioned for him to scoot over. "my lap or the edge sistah" he said. I rolled my eyes and sat on his lap. I don't like being on the edge. I took the controller from him and zack chose to play nazi zombies. Wrong choice. I ended up being first with 382 kills and zack had a mere 120 kills. "where the fuck did you learn how to play?" zack said defeated. "what do you think us sorority girls do all day? Stare out the window?" I laughed and jack gave me a highfive. "thatta girl!" he said and hugged me from behind. The bus stopped and I looked at the clock. "we spent like 4 hours playing nazi zombies…" I gave zack a highfive and we all laughed. "laziness prevailed this time" jack said picking me up and throwing me on the couch. " hey now." I said faking to be hurt. "but I thought you liked it rough" jack winked and I laughed. He turned around to walk to the front room. I was bored and jumped off of the couch and followed him. "where are we!" I said in excitement. My first concert at warped tour. Wow. Trust me ive been to a lot of other concerts. Just not THE warped tour. I gasped as I saw how big it was. "damn…im probably going to get lost." I said looking around. "don't worry" someone said. I turned around and saw vinny. "VIIIINNNNNYYYYYYY VEEEGGGASSSSSSS" I yelled and he started laughing his ass off. "oh my god. Its been so long vin." I said and gave him a tight hug. "weren't you on the bus?" I stopped.. I mustve walked by him.. "no. I drove separate… the bus is only my night home." He smirked at me and I fake laughed….. I don't know what he means honestly. Guess ill find out tonight. "well where do we go?'' I asked. " oh .. youre so innocent little one" he poked my nose and I tried to bite him. "im not innocent. Im just new to warped.. that's all." He laughed and put his arm around me. "to the merch table slave" he pointed me to an empty booth. "wheres all the merch?" I said looking around. There was zack… carrying three boxes of clothes. They looked so heavy.. no way I was doing that. "ummm. Im not lifting anything… since im so innocent and all." I said sticking my tounge out. He sighed snd walked over to carry some things. "BOO!" alex said coming up from behind. I screamed and started hitting him. "geez its me… calm down" he said laughing. "really… you scared me half to death thanks… what did you want anyway." I crossed my arms and glared at him. He pulled on a shirt that was hanging out of his back pocket. It said 'the other gaskarth' on the back with a picture of me and alex hugging for the camera last summer. "this is so cute….. but I don't want to wear it." I said with a fake pout,. "well then…" alex took the shirt back and looked sad. "but,. For mybig brother I guess ill get attacked by girls for you." I said with a smile. He gave me back the shirt and I changed right there. Hey. So what. I was wearing a bra. It covered more than most of these girls bikinis. "it fits!" I said turning around for alex. "now.. this shirt comes with a catch…. You have to come on stage and sing juliets part. She is doing her own set and cant come to ours…..please?" he said with a sorry look in his eyes. "alex." I cant believe he is actually asking me this. "Emily. You don't have to but youre better than zack at that part." He said trying to convince me. "I don't know… ill have to think about it. Ill find you before the show and give you my answer. I promise." I said pinky swearing him. "thank you for at least thinking about it sis. Now go have fun." He pushed me out into the crowded pathway. ….. only where do I have fun….. I don't know where to go. I felt like a kid in the super market and my mom was in some other aisle. I saw a lineup and looked at the list of names. The only people playing soon were people I have already seen in concert. I sighed and kept going through the list. One band that was playing in 20 minutes was one called 'the maine'….. funny name. oh well. I guess ill go watch them. I made my way to their stage and saw it packed. Damn. If they are known then why don't I know their name? I shook it off and made my way to the front. Avoiding 2 small mosh pits. I was about 3 rows from the barrier and someone pushed me forward to the barrier. "dammit." I cursed. I didn't want to be in the front. Im not a dedicated fan. They should have the chance to be up there. "are you really alex's sister?" some girl asked me. "yeah. " I said politely with a smile. "oh. That's cool. My names Lindsey betts by the way." She held her hand out for me to shake and I did . " oh youre Brooke's sister! Tell him I said hi. And my names Emily. Emily rae gaskarth." She laughed and looked onstage for a moment trying to find the band. "I will. And I cant help but to ask. Jasey rae? Why did he put your middle name in there?" she was confused. Everyone is when the make the connection. "he said it rhymed. So he went with it." I shrugged my shoulders and she mouthed 'ohhhh' "yeah. So do you know who this band is?" I asked her. "they are from tempe,Arizona. I am only watching them because my friend is like a diehard fan but I seemed to lose her somehow." She said looking around. She let out a sigh of defeat and rested on the barrier. All of a sudden everyone started cheering and I turned around and saw five guys come out. Five? Well that's weird…. They have two guitarists. Oh well. "hey guys we are the maine. And I want every single one of you to get dirty tonight. LETS GO!" the lead singer said. I laughed. Nice way to start a concert I suppose. I started dancing to their songs. They were pretty catchy to be honest. When Lindsey and I got tired we both were resting on the barrier. "dude… what are you staring at." Lindsey said laughing, I shook my head. "nothing." I said and bit my lip. "you were tottaly checking john out!" she started laughing again. "who?" I didn't know who she was taking about. "the shirtless hottie singing. You should really check up on people girl!" she bumped my hip and I just started laughing. It was inbewteen songs and everyone was quiet. All except for the girls saying "MARRY ME JOHN" I remember when I was like that. Haha that was so long ago. "HEY JOHN MY FRIEND HERE THINKS YOUR CUTE" Lindsey shouted during silence. "I blushed and looked down. "well she isn't that bad herself. After the show?" He winked and did a little half smile smirk thing… oh my god… he is so cute. "not in your wildest dreams" I said back. "haha john got turned down…. That's never happened before" the bassist said. "Shes alex gaskarths sister to." Lindsey screamed again. The crowd went wild. Oh shit. Everyone started pushing their way to the front. "HEY. Everyone back the fuck off." John screamed into the microphone. I smiled up to him letting him now I was thankful. The guy at the barrier let me out and I walked into the pathways again. I looked at my phone. I got 10 miniutes until my brother goes on… shit… where do I go! I found girls with all time low shirts on and just followed them. I made it backstage and found alex warming up. "alex. Im here." I said and hugged him. "knew you would be." He let go and looked at me like there was more for me to say. Oh yeah….. "alex. I don't know. I don't think its best for me too." I said looking down. I didn't want to disappoint him but. I couldn't get up there. "alex. You have to go. Now." The stage manager said basically pushing him onstage. "get me a mic." I said to him. " I guess im Juliet for the night." I said to my self. A few songs passed. They were awesome tonight. They brought alex a stool and an acoustic guitair. Fuck. I guess its now or never. I was sweating. I just closed my eyes and listened to my brother sing.
"Oh, I can see now
That all of these clouds are following me
In my desperate endeavor
To find my whoever, wherever she may be"
I stayed backstage but gave it all I had. As I sang the first few words I started walking out. Alex looked at me and smiled. I walked over to him and he put his arm around me. Fuck guitar.
"I'm not coming back, I've done something so terrible
I'm terrified to speak but you'd expect that from me
I'm mixed up, I'll be blunt
Now the rain is washing you out of my hair
And out of my mind, keeping an eye on the world
So many thousands of feet off the ground
I'm over you now, I'm at home in the clouds
Towering over your head"
When I was done he finished the sang and everyone cheered.
"guys. This was a total surprise. But this is my sister. Emily rae gaskarth."
He hugged me and hugged me tight. "thank you so much" he said while hugging. "no problem" I said and kissed his cheek. I put the microphone to my lips again. "can I please do something though?" I said looking sat the stool. "do itt" alex chanted with the crowd. I picked up the stoll and threw it on the ground. It didn't break….. the crowd erupted with awes. "sorry guys." I said shrugging my shoulders. The guys came out and that was my cue to leave. "oh and im engaged to Emily guys. She took a bite out of my burrito and everything." Jack said to the crowd. "it was pretty magical" alex said with a straight face. I just laughed and shook my head. Boys will be boys. I just sat backstage for the rest of the concert.