I don't own Harry Potter or LOTR. Thanks for the reviews GinnyWeasley77, FuzzyDeMash and kept on laughing!
11) I am not allowed to refer to myself as the New Dark Lord.
"Mr. Weasley?" an annoying first year asked. "George Weasley? Professor McGonagall wants to talk to you."
George whipped around. "Who are you talking to?"
"You?"
"I don't know who George Weasley is. I am the new Dark Lord. Tell your friends."
"Okay?"
...
12)I will not replace Madam Pomfrey's Skele-Gro with pumpkin juice.
"Owww!" the third year Hufflepuff chaser moaned.
"Don't worry, I'll get you some Skele-Gro now," Madam Pomfrey. She handed him a flask.
He raised the flask to his lips shakily and tasted . . . Pumpkin juice?
...
13) I will not replace Professor Snape's pumpkin juice with Skele-Gro.
Snape took a sip from his goblet. He didn't taste pumpkin juice. What ever it was, it hurt. He heard a gasp of pain escape his lips. He also heard sniggers from the Gryffindor table.
...
14) I will not ask Lupin to get me Wolverine's autograph.
"Professor?" Fred asked.
"Yes?" Lupin answered warily.
"Can you get me Wolverine's autograph?"
Lupin slowly looked at Fred. "No Fred. No I can't."
...
15) I will not tell Lupin that Jacob Black invited him to pack night in La Push.
"Sir, Jacob Black -"
"For the last time Mr. Weasley, whoever Jacob Black is, I will not be going to any pack night."
...
16) A Muggle "vacuum cleaner" is not acceptable Quidditch equipment, even if it has been enchanted to fly.
The Gryffindor team marched out from the changing rooms. Then a yell pierced the sir,
"MR. WEASLEY! WHAT IS THAT?"
"Well its-"
"I KNOW WHAT IT IS! BUT WHY DO YOU HAVE IT INSTEAD OF A BROOM?" Madam Hooch shrieked.
"It can fly!" George said defensively.
"WEASLEY!"
...
17) I will not tell Professor Trelawney that I prophesied her death.
Fred gasped.
"What is it? What do you see?" Trelawney said excitedly.
"You!" Fred said mysteriously. "You are in grave danger! You shall die!"
...
18) I will also not tell Professor Trelawney that I had a vision of her killing the Dark Lord.
"Thank you for that Mr. Weasley," Trelawney said, pursing her lips.
George gasped. Trelawney didn't say anything to him, but he continued anyway.
"You shall kill the Dark Lord! You shall save us all!"
...
19) Sending rings to the nine senior faculty at Yuletide, with the return address "Sauron", is not funny.
Fred and George went quietly to their tables for the Christmas Feast. When they looked at the Staff Table, they didn't seem too happy and their fingers were bare. Gred and Forge grinned.
...
20) Calling the Ghostbusters is a cruel joke to play on the resident ghosts and poltergeists.
"Who you gonna call? Ghost -"
"Ghostbusters, eh? Well bust this!" Nearly Headless Nick said then tipped his head off his neck.
"AAAAHHHHHHHH! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!"
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