Most do not realize it, but although I am a foreigner of Ferelden, my bloodline is anything but unknown. At the time of Ferelden's unification more than 400 years ago, my ancestors had occupied Highever and attempted to maintain its independence. This ancestor, a Teyrna, had united the Banns of Highever in a rebellion against the unification. She was eventually defeated by the man who would become the first King of Ferelden, and although she maintained her title of Teyrna, she did so only by swearing loyalty to the King that had taken her independence. Naturally, this forced loyalty was met with distain by her kin.

This distain resulted in her eldest son leaving Ferelden permanently. He eventually settled into a new land across the sea, and although he had lost his noble status by leaving, he managed to regain it by becoming a Knight-Commander and forming the Order of the Paladins in the kingdom he now lived.

Although I am of a foreign branch, my bloodline still resides here.

The Cousland bloodline.

I rode along the same bridge I had crossed almost three months ago. It was drizzling slightly, but I welcomed the rain as it cooled my horse. My helm covered my face, keeping the drizzle from hitting my eyes. It was much busier than it had been those months ago. Soldiers walked about the ruins. I saw marabi war dogs following their masters, men leading horses, and Templars keeping watch over mages. Multiple campsites were spread about, leaving trails of smoke rising into the air.

I looked around, trying to find the Warden camp. Dismounting and removing my helm, I asked a mage where the camp was. She was a pleasant woman, and pointed me in the correct direction. She said her name was Wynne, and after asking her a couple questions, she respectfully excused herself. I soon found the Warden camp, my horse trailing obediently behind. A hound barked, and suddenly a rust coloured marabi was at my feet, tail wagging.

At first, I was a little confused, but quickly recognized the hound as Axel, whom I had been acquainted to during my few visits to Highever Castle. Although my blood was much different than the Couslands in Ferelden, the current Teyrn had welcomed me into his home. He called me 'cousin' and allowed me to interact with he and his family as though I was very closely related, rather than simply being a member of a very distant branch of his bloodline. I had been very pleasantly surprised, to say the least.

The hound wagged his tail, tongue hanging from his mouth and eyes wide, and I knelt down to rub his ears. But what was he doing here, and not in Highever Castle?

"Lady Ryda?"

I looked up to see Aedan Cousland. He was the youngest child of Teyrn Bryce and Teyrna Eleanor. He was no older than sixteen, and an aspiring warrior, as was his twin sister Elissa. The two of them were nearly inseparable, but here stood the boy beside the Warden Commander, alone and looking very much unhappy. What was going on?

"Aedan?" My eyes widened in surprise and Axel retreated to his master. "What are you doing here?"

The young man's eyes dropped. "Something happened, in Highever..."

I looked to Duncan, then back to the teen.

"He's here to become a Grey Warden," Duncan stated, an uncharacteristic frown on his face.

My eyes narrowed. This didn't make sense. Teyrn Bryce would never allow any of his children to become a Warden. Not even if there was a full-blown Blight on the horizon.

I shook my head and took a step forward. "What happened?"

Aedan looked to me. I could see that tears were threatening to break. His father had always taught him emotion was nothing to be ashamed of, but I knew that if he was near tears, something terrible had happened.

Duncan bowed slightly. "I will leave you two to talk. Ryda, we can speak later. We have a Joining to perform however... Could you go find Alistair and the other recruits when you are done, please?"

I nodded, and the commander disappeared to the fireside. I walked close to my 'cousin', placing a hand on his shoulder.

"Come, let us walk. You only have to tell me what you want to." I looked at Cael and ordered him to stay at the camp.

Aedan sadly nodded and we started off into the ruins. We had found the two other recruits and were searching for Alistair before he said a word to me. His face was hard, sullen, as he explained what had happened in Highever Castle only a week before.

I felt my stomach go into knots as grief and anger boiled inside me. Arl Howe, the traitor! He had killed Aedan's family. His parents, his twin, his brother's wife, and his nephew were all dead. I did not know them well, having only met them a year ago, and seeing them few times since, but they had been very good to me. They had treated me with dignity and respect, and were a very kind and generous family. I gritted my teeth as he told the story. The greed of some men appalled me.

"I'm going to find him, and I'm going to kill him," Aedan clenched his fists. He looked at me, determination and pain in his face. "All I want right now is revenge."

I nodded. I did not know about revenge, as I had never felt the need to take it, but the fire in the young man's eyes told me everything. Realizing I would be travelling with the Wardens, and so with the teen, I came to a conclusion. "I can train you, Aedan, if you would like."

The young man looked at me. "You can?"

I nodded my head. "I will train you the best I can. I will help you the best I can."

He sighed, looking at his hands. I felt terrible for him. He was just becoming a man, and already he had so much to deal with. His family's death, his sudden initiation into the Wardens...

"Where is Fergus?" I asked, shifting my weight. He had said his brother was absent during Howe's attack.

"King Cailan said he was here. He went to scout the wilds, and won't be back until after the battle."

This surprised me. He had spoken directly to King Cailan? And there was a battle so soon? I had not been informed a battle was so near, although the amass of troops made me wonder. Duncan was probably going to inform me when we spoke.

I bowed my head. "I'll help you find him when this is over, Aedan." But something told me he was already dead...

The teen nodded, than breathed in deeply, unclenching his fists. He looked straight into my eyes. "Lady Ryda, I-I know I do not know you well, and it is unfair of me to ask, but can you promise me something?"

I tilted my head slightly, but kept silent. I could hear the hint of doubt in his voice.

"Something tells me that this ritual, this Joining... I-I think it may be the end of me." My eyes widened a bit. "If I don't survive it, or the battle afterward, or if something happens... could you take my family's sword and take revenge for me?"

"I..." My stomach clenched tighter. He had been through a lot, and I knew the Joining was dangerous. There were so many ways to die if you were a warrior, but the risk increased ten-fold when you were a Warden. I would not lie to this man and tell it he would survive, because I did not know if he would.

But that was a hefty request.

"Please, cousin..." his gaze was unwavering. "I know you are a great knight. Those stories you told us, the sparing I've watched, how you are with a sword and shield... you're a great warrior. You're noble and honourable, and you are a Cousland. Please, I cannot trust anyone else. Just promise me that peace will be brought to my family..."

What could I do? I could not refuse him. He was broken, he was family, and he needed hope.

I nodded, reaching forward and gripping his armoured shoulder tightly. "I promise you this, my cousin. On my honour and my life, I will find and kill Arl Howe if you cannot do it yourself."

Aedan reached forward and gripped my own shoulder. "Thank you… Ryda."

With a crooked smile we continued on, searching for the Warden Alistair. I spent my time wondered if I had made the correct decision...

We found the Warden arguing with a mage. The blond said something about naming his future son, the grumpy one, after the magister before the man stormed off in a huff. We walked up to the Warden, who shrugged.

"You know, one good thing about the Blight is how it brings people together," he turned to us, and I couldn't help but roll my eyes and cross my arms.

"War seems to do that to the best of us. You're being nice as always, I see."

He face lit up a bit when he registered who I was. "Lady Ryda! Good to see you again!"

I couldn't help but smile. "Likewise, Warden Alistair. We were sent to retrieve you."

He grinned, shifting his weight. "You're business as always." He looked at Aedan beside me. "Nice to meet you..."

"Aedan," he replied. "Aedan Cousland. You seem to know my cousin already."

Alistair looked from Aedan to me, then back. "A Cousland? Seriously? Ah, nice to meet you..." he looked to me. "You're a Cousland?"

I shrugged. "I'm a different kind of Cousland. Aedan and I share an ancestor." A pause. "But we'd better get to Duncan. We have a Joining to perform."

Alistair nodded, and followed as we started back towards camp. I could feel him at my shoulder as we walked. "Good to see you survived."

"Same to you, Ser."

"We'll have to dual later." His voice was happy, and was that a hint of teasing I detected?

I chuckled. He had remembered.

We returned to camp, and I followed Duncan off to his tent, leaving Alistair and Aedan with the other Warden recruits. He rubbed his temples as the tent flaps drew closed. I stood at attention.

"We have a battle ahead of us, Ryda. Darkspawn are coming. A large army is about to attack." He paused and looked to me. "You have done a good job. Gathering all the Wardens in three months is no small feat. We were quite scattered."

I nodded, pride filling me. I had done my best, and was glad it was to his liking. "Thank you, Ser."

The commander breathed in deeply, gathering his thoughts. "I do not know if we are in a Blight, Ryda." He sat down at the table at the side of the tent. I remained standing at attention. "The King does not think so, but I think King Cailan is not taking everything into account. But never the less, we need to be prepared, and we need to be cautious." He looked at me again. "I want you to accompany the recruits and Alistair into the wilds and collect darkspawn blood for the Joining ritual."

I shifted my weight. The memories of Alistair's Joining still unnerved me. Looking at the commander, I realized that he wasn't finished. "Ser?"

Duncan's eyes were hard. They were full of strength, but also full of desperation. "Ryda, I know that you want to help the Grey Wardens. And I know that the reason you suggested becoming a Consort is so you could do so and not have to become a Warden but..." he rubbed his eyes. "If this is a Blight... we need as many Wardens as possible. I cannot force you to become a Warden, and no matter your choice, you are still one of our own, but for now I ask you to consider it."

A jolt ran down my spine, filling me with a sense of dread. I did not like the prospect of becoming a Grey Warden. Unlike the recruits, I knew the repercussions of undergoing the Joining: the nightmares, the shortened life span, the Taint... not to mention a Warden's relationship with the darkspawn. It was a life-long and life-altering choice. A choice I was not sure I was brave enough, or able, to make.

There were people – people I could not let down – waiting for me to return to my homeland. Although I had postponed it – and did not want to think of them – I did have duties there, and I could not simply ignore them. I had to go home at some point.

My eyes broke away from Duncan as I replied. "Ser, I… I will consider it."

His only response was a nod and a hand motion telling me to follow him as he exited the tent. I drew the tent flap closed with a deep exhale, my mind unfocused as Duncan explained to the recruits what they needed to do.

Before I knew what had happened, we were off towards the wilds – to collect the dark blood we needed.

The recruits' orders were thus: each was to collect a vial of blood from a freshly killed darkspawn. Alistair had been ordered to collect several treaties from a sealed chest at an abandoned Warden tower. My orders were to make sure all of them survived.

My orders were simple enough, and I was not terribly worried about what we may encounter in the forest. What worried me was the decision I would have to make, very, very soon. Not long ago I had spent a good amount of effort in order to prevent myself from dealing with the choice of becoming a Warden, and now I was faced with it again. Would all that persuasion to allow me to become Consort go to waste?

I contemplated this as we travelled along the path unhindered, eventually coming to an injured soldier, who we patched up and sent back to camp. He said that his party was decimated by darkspawn.

One of the recruits was obviously unnerved. "If those things were able to destroy an entire seasoned scouting party, what makes you think five of us can protect ourselves?"

I sighed, shaking my head. "That's why Alistair and I are with you, to make sure you survive this."

The man all but threw his hands in the hair. "Great! A new Warden and a woman to protect us. We're doomed!"

I saw Alistair glare at the man, and pondered whirling around and pushing the recruit into the dirt – a kneejerk reaction caused by my unstable state of mind at the moment – but I composed myself.

"If Alistair is a Warden, he knows what he is doing," Aedan commented, eying his sword. "And my cousin is the best warrior I have ever seen. You do not want to be on the wrong side of her shield."

The recruit huffed, but remained silent. I nodded to Aedan, thanking him silently, and looked at Alistair, who had a brow raised. I motioned for him to lead, and he did so.

We quickly came across darkspawn, and nothing could have prepared me for what I saw. These beasts were strong, ugly, and had no mercy. They smelled of decaying corpses and looked much worse. As I sunk my blade into the flesh of my first darkspawn kill, I felt a wave of dread wash over me: this was definitely not the last time I would fight with these beasts. Keeping an eye on the recruits as they fought, I aided them if I felt they needed it. I kept a very close eye on Aedan. He was a good warrior, but inexperienced, and I could tell he was extremely unnerved by these creatures.

Of course, anyone who was sane would be unnerved right now.

When the last darkspawn remained, I knocked him back with my shield and quickly finished him with my blade. My armour and skin was covered in darkspawn blood, and my hair was matted in the dark sticky liquid. How I wish I had worn my helm; this gore felt utterly terrible on my skin and in my hair.

The recruits went about collecting vials of blood as Alistair observed them. I quickly collected a forth when no one was looking. I had not told my cousin that Duncan had asked me to become a Grey Warden, and I did not know how he would react to the news. The next task was to find the tower and collect the treaties, and so we continued along the forest path. We met several more parties of darkspawn, as well as an Emissary – a darkspawn mage – but eventually reached the tower.

Unfortunately, the sealed chest was smashed, and the documents were gone.

Alistair was busy grumbling about the papers when a woman suddenly appeared. The men worried she was a 'witch of the wilds', but I pressed that thought aside, trying to be friendly, asking her name.

She called herself Morrigan, and more importantly, knew where the documents were. She led us to a hut, where her mother apparently resided. Her mother, also a 'witch of the wilds', had taken them long ago, and handed them to us without much of a fuss. I knew that retrieving the documents could not be that easy, but I accepted them anyway, eager to leave the forest. We returned to the Warden camp, where Duncan greeted us warmly, taking the darkspawn blood and treaties. Shortly after, we waited at the temple as Duncan prepared the mixture for the Joining.

My cousin shifted beside me, nervous. I patted the shield on his back. "Your parents would be proud, Aedan. Be brave."

He nodded, looking forward at nothing in particular.

Duncan explained what the Joining consisted of to the recruits. They would drink the darkspawn blood, and if they survived, they would become Grey Wardens. This was a process I had seen several times, but it always sent a chill down my spine. The recruits were shifting in place. The first recruit looked at the cup with obvious fear in his eyes. He quickly took a drink and handed the goblet to Duncan. At first, he examined his body. In a moment's notice he collapsed to the ground, choking and grasping his throat. His body convulsed, and then he lay still, never to move again.

"I'm sorry, Daveth," Duncan kneeled and closed the dead man's eyes, bowing his head.

The other recruit began to panic, drawing his sword. He began shouting how he could not do this, and how he had a wife and child. Duncan quickly drew his dagger and plunged it into the man's heart, killing him instantly. I looked away, and could hear the commander whisper an apology as the body slumped to the ground.

The Wardens' secrets were necessary to protect. They could not let a recruit who knew them leave alive.

I know that there is death during the Joining. One death was not uncommon. Two was also not uncommon. I turned to my cousin, and hoped he would not make three.

Aedan looked to me. I could see the utter determination on his face. For his age, he was a brave man: much braver than I had been when I was that young. I nodded as he stepped forward, taking the goblet in his hands. With a deep breath, he took a drink, handing the goblet to Duncan.

I stopped breathing.

For a moment, Aedan was fine. He too, was holding his breath, and for a second, I saw a glimpse of hope. Suddenly, he collapsed to the ground, grabbing his chest and coughing up blood. His body convulsed several times, and I looked away.

After what seemed like an eternity, I looked back at my cousin's lifeless body, and bowed my head.

There was a heavy silence in the time that followed. Three bodies lay on the temple floor. The commander bowed his head in shame, the recruit's blood still slick on his armour.

I kneeled down and touched Aedan's face, still warm, and closed his lifeless eyes. "Sleep well, cousin." I remained there, not really able to move. He was so young, and had gone through so much. I could not believe what had happened.

I felt a hand on my shoulder, and knew it was Alistair's. I silently thanked his kindness. Duncan gave me a while to grieve. I felt his eyes on me when I stood. He wanted me to make my choice.

The cowardess in me told me to run. To grab my gear and head back to my homeland before a war broke out. But had not something like this been my plan? I wanted to begin anew and leave my past behind for a while. I wanted a purpose. And what purpose was greater than this?

They needed Grey Wardens. They had just lost three recruits. No new blood to add to the order, and no new warriors to fight the darkspawn. Something in me said that they needed experienced soldiers to survive the onslaught of the darkspawn. Honourable soldiers who were willing to give their lives fighting demons to protect the innocence of this land. I had spent my entire life doing so in my homeland. They could use me.

The Paladin in me told me they needed me.

I stared at Aedan's shield. The Cousland crest was vivid on the grey metal. I had come to this province looking for a purpose – looking for a way to forget my past and to become something. Was this it?

I am a Cousland, aren't I?

In that moment, I realized what I had to do. Swallowing my fear, I looked Duncan in the eyes.

"I'll do it, Duncan."

The man nodded.

"What?" It was Alistair from behind me. He was worried. I could hear it in his voice. "You'll do what?" It became fairly obvious when Duncan lifted the goblet that had just taken three lives.

I didn't respond or look at the man behind me. Simply stared at the goblet. I am determined to see this through.

I stepped around my cousin's body, standing in front of the commander. "I'm ready."

He nodded, handing me the goblet. "You know the risks, Ryda. You will be one of the first to undergo the Joining with this knowledge."

I nodded and brought the cup to my lips without a second thought, gulping down the liquid. There was dragon's blood in here, I could taste it.

And then suddenly, I was on the ground.

I vaguely remember a searing pain that began in my throat and ran down into my chest, and I vaguely remember coughing uncontrollably. It was one of the worst pains I have felt. Vivid images flashed through my mind; of battles and dark places and of a roaring dragon that seemed to call to me.

Then I was suddenly staring at the white stone, suddenly pushing myself to my feet. Duncan's hand was on my shoulder, and Alistair was hovering behind me.

Through the fog that was my senses, I could hear Duncan state with pride: "Welcome to the Grey Wardens, Ryda."