"Mikey's gone."
Donatello spoke the words in disbelief as he held Mikey in his arms. Donny was perplexed at the choking sound, the deep, deep sigh, and then, the silence after the breathing stopped. Numbly, Donatello lay a shaking hand over the vein inside Mikey's wrist and waited for a few endless, tortured moments for a pulse. There was none. Raphael roughly shoved him aside, snatched Mikey from his protective clutches, and rattled the limp body.
"Mikey?" Raphael snarled in disbelief, pawing at his baby brother, searching for something, anything other than this…
"Mikey?" It was soft, and uncertain, and full of disbelieving fear, as Raphael started shaking with the horrible realization.
"Mikey!"
Raphael's wailing cry echoed all of their grief as he crumbled. Raphael buried his face against the still plastron, his hands still clutching at Mikey in anguish. Donnatello trembled with the finality of the whole thing, chafed under the need to scream in the sudden, heavy hush of astonishment. Trembling, he lay a finger underneath Mikey's chin, felt for the pulse, lay a palm over the open mouth to feel for the breath. There was neither. Just that long, scraped out breath, the spasm, and he was gone. Leo rigidly lurched forward, stared unseeing at Mikey's face, blinking. Raphael finally relinquished Mike's hand. Donny's heart broke anew as Raphael caressed the flaccid knuckles, and lay Mike's hand on his chest with a gentleness he had never seen. Splinter had his paw laid across the forehead, eyes shut, head bowed, quietly praying.
Raphael narrowed his eyes, and jerked his head towards Donny with a sharp glance at Mikey. Donny swallowed hard. Raphael needed it confirmed that Mikey had died. Donny's eyes flooded as he gave them the agonized nod, and the even more horrific truth.
"I'm sorry, Raph. He's gone." Donny mouthed the words to spare Splinter and Leo. Raphael's face contorted in tortured understanding, as he glanced at Splinter and Leo. Trembling, he rose, and draped an arm on Splinter's quivering shoulder. The old rat leaned into the partial embrace, and lay his spindly, shaking paw over Raphael's hand for strength.
"Thank you, my son." Raphael felt the quick squeeze of grateful fingers, as Splinter bowed his head, and whispered. "Your strength will be needed, Raphael, to get through the dark days to come."
Raphael's tears had stopped, leaving in their place a frigid anguish far too deep for something as simple as crying any more. Leo's wrenching, keening whimper sounded like a trapped animal as he reared his head back, and screamed, a soul-deep scream of grief. Raph had whipped his head around at his older brother, and stared at him for a long silent moment. Lurching to his feet, Raph caught Leo before he collapsed to his knees, and held his oldest brother long enough to gently lower Leo into the chair.
Giving Splinter and Donny a helpless glance, he awkwardly draped a protective arm over the quivering shell. He didn't speak any soothing, false words. He didn't have any. Leo's tremble approached the level of a spasm. Raph just sighed, and allowed Leo to fling his arms around his neck and cling to him like he was drowning. Or like he was scared of losing him.
The silence was broken at last by Master Splinter. Quietly, he lay steadying, reassuring paws on all of them, let his touch linger long enough to convey comfort. Splinter gently direct their attention away from the horror of the loss by quietly clearing his throat, and waiting. Even grief was not enough to break their loyalty, or their respect for him. His remaining sons turned to him, brokenly, as Splinter wiped a tear.
Splinter gazed at them all, the sorrow and love mingled together as he spoke. "My sons…my brave, brave sons…" his words were halted as he shut his eyes to control the sudden chokehold that the sobs had left in his throat.
"I have no words to offer comfort, my sons, for this pain is much too raw, sudden, and deep for us all to accept. This grief is as a wound for us all that I do not know yet how to heal. Draw comfort in each other, my sons, for while four may now be three on earth, four can never become three in our hearts."
Splinter bowed his head, as if he were bearing a terrible, terrible load. Running a hand tenderly over Mikey's cold temple, he continued, "Tonight, we will rest here, together, and tomorrow, we will call Miss O'Neil, and make arrangements for Michelangelo's resting place."
They all flinched at the sudden growl from behind, as Raphael jerked to his feet, spat, bitterly. "Where the hell are we holdin' his funeral, Masta Splinter? The humans killed him, ya really think they're going to let him rest in peace?"
There was the soft, apologetic sigh, as Donatello swallowed hard, and answered for Splinter. "The farm house, Raphael. Mikey and I…found a place at the farm house in case this sort of…thing ever happened."
Raphael narrowed his eyes. "Ya think of everything, don't ya, Don? Why the hell were ya looking at places to bury us, huh? Ya anticipated this sort of thing ahead of time, and this is just part of the plan?"
Donny's eyes slid into glittering slits of anger as he turned to look at Leo, and Splinter. Splinter looked old, and fragile, and Leo was staring at the confrontation, wide-eyed and wounded. Gritting his teeth, each word came out, soft, and biting as a whiplash.
"Raphael, in case it hasn't escaped your notice, we are mutants. We can't just hold a funeral service for Mikey, unless you want his remains to be desecrated for nothing more than the satisfaction of depraved curiosity. As for planning this sort of thing in advance-"Donny snarled and lurched forward until he and Raph were only inches apart. His face was contorted in alien rage. It was the same horrible expression that he wore as he took down Mikey's killers. Raphael inwardly shivered.
"if I knew this was going to happen, I would have stopped it, you bastard!"
Raphael's jaw dropped, and Leo whimpered, as Donny continued, anguished. "You really want to know where we found the place, and why we were looking, Raph? It was for you!"
Raphael was torn between bewilderment and anger, as Leo whispered, pleading, "Donny, stop! Please, just-"
Donny's lip twisted against his teeth, as the words burbled forth. "It was after you were beaten into a coma and suffering a head wound of your own, Raph. It's a good thing for you that you're so hard-headed, because you lived through it, and Mikey didn't."
Splinter exhaled sharply, the words dying on his lips.
Leonardo winced in horrible waiting for the blows, or the blustering fury of Raphael to explode.
Donny clapped a hand over his mouth in absolute shock at the cruelty of his under the realization of his own viciousness, Donny gulped, prayed that Raph was typically thick-skinned and pissed off over the whole thing.
"Raph…-" The apology faltered into miserable silence.
The words seared like acid to Raphael's soul. The sudden hurt was so overwhelming that Raphael couldn't speak. Leo glanced helplessly at his brothers, as Raphael just stood there, wounded like he had been stabbed, and simply hadn't fallen yet. Raphael started tremoring, his fingers lacing into fists, the tension in the room exploding as he gave them all a tortured look, and fled.
Donny's dash after him was halted by Splinter's insistent paw on his shoulder. At his small sound of protest, Splinter raised those burning eyes to his.
"Donatello, your words were spoken out of haste and grief, and I know that you did not mean them. Do not let your hurt poison your love for your brother, or I will lose another son, and that would be unbearable for us all. Allow Raphael his time of solitude to heal before you apologize. To seek him out now would only provoke his anger, and that would be too much for Raphael to face now."
Donny exhaled a shaking breath that bordered on a sob, as he flung out his arms, helplessly. "I'm sorry, Master Splinter, I just-"
The old rat shushed him with a gentle paw. "Grief can make even the most stalwart mind lose its focus, my son. Have a care with how you treat your brothers, but do not let guilt control your actions. It is both understandable, and forgivable."