TW: Self Harm
Jennifer Osgood sat at her desk writing furiously, her science homework was too basic for her to think too heavily about it. She could hear her sister singing away from the bathroom, her Walkman blaring.
They now lived with their grandparents in a small village. Jennifer missed the hustled of London, but not as much as Alice. In this town Alice was like a goddess, every boy wanted to date her, every girl wanted to be her friend.
Alice came dancing into their shared room, singing loudly. Although she didn't need the quiet Jennifer felt herself getting annoyed. Things had been tense, the two of them had never got on very well, but now when everyone expected them to bond, they had grown even more distant.
Jennifer resented how happy Alice seemed, their family had been slaughtered only 8 months ago. She knew Alice would be leaving soon, to university, but she couldn't help but feel anger at her sister moving on so easily.
Jennifer had not been coping, she had made a few friends, at the new school. They were friendly, and many were relentlessly teased by Alice's friends. Jennifer often heard people laugh at her, whispering loudly enough for her to hear, that she was so ugly compared to her sister. She tried to not let it bother her, keep her feelings buried. She knew deep inside it wasn't Alice's fault but it stop her feeling angry at her. Secretly she was slightly jealous, everything seemed so easy for her.
Alice leaned over Jennifer's shoulder, "How's the work going?" she asked, even the sound of her voice annoyed Jennifer for no reason.
She pushed her glasses up her nose, "It's fine, easy." She muttered continuing to write
Alice plonked herself on the bed, watching her sister writing away. "I'm going to miss you, you know." She smiled, looking at the half packed suitcase at the end of her bed. She was leaving early, she didn't want to remain in this town for summer.
Jennifer pretended to keep writing, she had no response.
"I know, we have never really got on, but….your my sister and I…..love you." She blushed in slight embarrassment, and shame, she couldn't ever remember telling Jennifer before that she loved her.
"I know. I'm sorry, I've been so cold. I just miss them." Jennifer whispered, feeling her eyes sting with tears.
"Me to." Alice replied quietly, she felt she should hug her sister, like she didn't do when they were waiting in UNIT, but she just couldn't. They had barely touched since their parents' death, as if they were scared showing any affection to one another would just remind them of the hugs they would never get again from their parents.
They both sat in silence, going through their own thoughts. Alice put her music back on, rising from the bed "I'm off to the shop, want anything?" she asked trying to sound as casual as possible.
Jennifer shook her head, and let Alice leave her alone. She waited until she heard the front door open and close, before she reached into her bottom drawer and pulled out a small box.
Jennifer took the box into the bathroom, locking the door. She sat on the toilet and slowly, her fingers shaking opened the box. Inside was steel and a little bottle of disinfectant. Jennifer poured a little over the blade. She pulled up her sleeve, revealing scars healed to various degrees. She hates herself for doing it, but at the same time she needed it. She felt alone, and knew once Alice was gone it was going to be worse. She felt a fat tear roll down her check, and pulled the blade across her skin. It gave instant release.
Jennifer dapped tenderly at her wound, clearing away any evidence, then rolled down her sleeve. She stood up slowly, time to finish that homework she sighed. She thought about when she used to believe a magically man named The Doctor would save her. Where was he when her parents needed him, she used to believe he had been there, with his long scarf, but now she knew it was just her imagination. There was no one out there trying to protect her.