Chapter two: "Forget it. I'm going. Don't try and stop me."
"Are they like that all the time?" I asked Seth as we walked side-by-side along the gravel road towards our house.
"Well...Not all the time," he admitted with a shrug, not wanting to tell tales on his idol, no doubt.
"Sure seemed like it," I muttered darkly. I expected Seth to just ignore me and carry on, but I was not anticipating his reaction. He took a deep breath, and then started to speak, gaining volume with each word,
"So what if they are like that all the time? What's your problem Leah? Do you get a kick out of other people's misery or something? They're in love, that's all! Stop being so...unhappy all the time! Get over yourself! There are other people in this world besides you, you know!" He broke off, panting. His hands were shaking slightly. I looked down, and saw that mine were shaking too.
"You finished your rant?" I snapped, after a while. Seth exhaled sharply, his usually smiling face a mask of sadness.
"You needed to hear it, Leah," he whispered.
"But from you?" I demanded.
"Maybe," he shrugged, "You needed to hear it from someone. Dude, you have to get over Sam. I know you've tried –"
"No. You can't say that. Yes, I'm unhappy. Yes, I'm not exactly in a good place. But I am over Sam. Really," I admitted. Seth raised his eyebrows sceptically. I growled, "I. Am. Over. Him. Ugh! Why won't you believe me? It's not him that's making me unhappy. To be honest, I've given up trying to make him pay. It's not his fault. I know that. I just want him to be happy, whoever he's with... What bugs me is imprinting. The fact that you don't have a choice. The fact that practically everyone in the pack has a 'soul mate'. The fact that I'm never going to be loved by someone anyway; imprinted or not." I turned away so he couldn't see my face. Usually I kept up the tough façade, but every so often I would forget, and let something slip.
"I'm sorry Leah. I didn't know you felt that way," Seth mumbled. Then, attempting to lighten the mood, he added, "If it helps, you know I love you. Just, not in that imprinting way, 'cause that'd be creepy," he amended quickly. I smiled to let him know that he'd been forgiven. By that point, we were at the door to the house. I exchanged a glance with my brother. We nodded, and then walked in, where we were greeted by a shriek of joy and lots of hugging.
As the day came to a close, we were surrounded by empty plates and many happy people. There was Mom and Charlie, recently married, and acting like a pair of lovesick teenagers. I came back for the intimate ceremony last year. Somehow, Charlie still did not know about the Cullens being vampires, though he knew about the werewolves. He was strong enough for that. Most people in Forks were under the impression that the Cullens had moved house, gone to university, were travelling the world, but really they still lived in the same place as before. They would have started to cause suspicion, what with the whole 'not ageing' thing. Renesmee had been to school on the reservation for a few years with Seth, and Jacob was there for one year too. She was only allowed to go once her growth rate had slowed down enough. It's weird, because with Charlie married to my mom, Nessie was actually, in a way, my niece. Confusing?
Paul and Rachel were there too, with their eight year old son Kai. Paul had really grown up those past years; I gave him credit for that. Becoming a dad at eighteen was a shock for him. A shock for everyone, to be honest. Kai liked to play with Claire, who was also at the house, with Quil. Claire was nearly ten at that point. Unluckily for him, he had to wait another eight years or so before her feelings towards him would turn somewhat romantic. But at that moment, Quil was being a supportive best friend to her. Jared and Kim weren't there – they were on holiday in Hawaii. It was their first holiday with their young twins, Logan and Lara.
The hardest part for me was watching Sam and Emily with their family. Their oldest son, Luke, was eight, they had another son called Toby who was five, and another child on the way. Looking at their family, laughing and having fun, made me think about what could have been. I stood up quickly and went out to the beach. I sat on a driftwood bench, with my head down. It seemed everyone had that special someone. Except me.
After a while I was joined by someone. I didn't lift my head to see who it was. He just sat there next to me, our arms touching, and no other noise apart from his heavy breathing and the gentle lap of the waves on the shore. We sat there together for a short time. I realised I had tears on my cheeks. I reached into my pocket to find a tissue, when I saw that a familiar hand already held one. He offered it to me, and I took it carefully.
"Thanks Sam," I whispered, looking across the ocean. He just nodded. A few minutes later, I turned to face him, and started to speak once more. "Sam, I'm-I'm-I'm so sorry. For everything. For blaming you. For making your life miserable." Sam looked me in the eye and just said, with a small smile,
"I know." I sighed. Why wouldn't he be annoyed at me? I started again,
"Bet you're glad I haven't been around for these past few years. At least I wasn't making you unhappy." Sam's forehead creased into a frown, as he replied,
"No, I'm not glad. I miss you when you're not here Lee-Lee. I know that it will never be the same again, but I hope you know that I do still care about you. And I guess I still love you, in a way. I just...I have my own life now. And you should make more of an effort to have your own. It's time to start living again Leah." My eyebrows rose slightly in surprise. He missed me? He loved me still, after everything I did? I didn't expect that. I took a deep breath and said,
"You're right. You do have your own life now. But I'm not going to be able to move on like you have. I'm not going to imprint. I'm a freak of nature." Sam's head shot up when I said that, and he shook his head as he replied,
"No Leah. You're not a freak of nature. There is someone out there for you. Just...Be patient. I know you have a soul mate, somewhere. And I bet he's just as unique as you are." He added with a smile.
"You know?" I asked sceptically, "How exactly?"
"I don't know," he admitted, then, smiling, "It's an Alpha thing. You wouldn't understand." He winked at me then, and I rolled me eyes.
"Oh, lord Sam, with your almighty power," I muttered. He chuckled quietly, and I gave a short giggle. I was amazed – that was the first time I'd laughed with Sam since he'd chosen Emily. I sighed in wonder.
"My Alpha senses are also telling me that there's a storm coming. We'd better get back to the house," Sam pointed out, grinning. He reached out his hand hesitantly, and I took it to help myself up. We walked side-by-side back to the house, where Seth was waiting, impatient.
"Where were you two? We want to eat the cake!" He exclaimed. Sam smiled at Seth and I, then, bending slightly to get through the doorframe, he disappeared from view. "Wait, that was Sam," Seth observed, then asked quietly, "So, are things good between you now?" It took me a minute to answer, and I said,
"Not entirely. But they're getting there."
It seemed only a few moments later that I was preparing to leave. Of course, I had stayed with my mother at the house for nearly a week – longer than I had been planning on staying – but I still felt the familiar tugs of sadness as I hugged her as a way of saying goodbye. True, I did enjoy spending time with my family, when they weren't being irritating at least, but I started to feel excited about returning to my wolf-self. Naturally, Mom tried convincing me to stay longer, as she did every time I visited, but as always, I refused, only somewhat placating her by assuring that I would be back within six months. With a sigh, she released me, looking me up and down, and trying for one final effort to keep me home,
"Please Leah. Just another few weeks or so. We've barely seen you – you've been at the beach most days," she pleaded. She knew my answer even before I shook my head. Truthfully, I had been avoiding my family as much as possible. I couldn't bear to be surrounded by such radiant happiness – it was almost sickening, but mostly just saddening for my part. I hated to admit my weakness, and as much as I took pleasure in seeing the people I loved happy, I just couldn't stand being around them when I knew that my own fate would not be nearly as cheerful. However, I brushed those feelings aside, and switched them for my hard-faced demeanour, wanting to show my mother that I was strong. I spoke directly to her,
"Really Mom. There's nothing for me here. I'll visit, I promise. I'll be back before you know it. Honestly. Bye." I looked at her one last time, gave a wave, and then started the walk up the driveway with Seth, my companion for the remainder of the afternoon.
"What do you want to do before I take off?" I asked him in an effort of being casual.
"Well. Jake will probably want to say goodbye. We'll visit him at the cottage."
"Okay..." I agreed unwillingly, thinking about how he was last time I saw him. I didn't really want to be with him if he was planning on spending the entire time snuggling up next to Renesmee.
"Don't worry," Seth explained, seeing my face and reading my thoughts, "He's alone there. Nessie has gone up to the house to greet her parents. They just came back from a weekend-long hunting trip."
"Really?" I wondered if Edward knew about Jacob staying at their cottage during the weekend, then voiced my question, "Edward allows Jacob to stay there? While he and Bella aren't around?"
"He trusts Jacob – to an extent. Much as he wishes he didn't. I don't know. Besides, I don't think he completely trusts Jake not to try something while they're away. Alice stays in the cottage when Edward and Bella aren't there," Seth explained to me. I nodded in understanding. We reached the small clearing where the cottage was situated, and in a few strides were inside the small house.
"Leah! Hey there," Jacob called, turning the TV on mute. He had an empty packet of king-size Doritos next to him, the remnants of which were sprinkled down his shirt. There was also a half-empty bottle of Coke on the coffee table, and a triple-decker sandwich balancing precariously on a plate. I made my way to the sofa, upon which he was sprawled lazily across. He grunted, swinging his legs round to touch the floor so that Seth and I could fit on. It was a tight squeeze – I had a difficult time squashing myself between both boys. I looked pointedly towards the food, and turning to face Jacob – with difficulty – I said,
"Dude. One day in the future you're gonna wake up and find yourself obese. Seriously, all you boys eat so much!"
"Comes with the territory," he shrugged.
"Well I'ma werewolf and I don't eat half the fridge in one meal."
"You're a girl," Seth said, peering round my back so we could see him, "You have stronger willpower than we do." I rolled my eyes and faced the silent TV.
Suddenly, the front door opened, and we all turned to see who it was. Bella entered the house, not at all surprised by Jacob's company.
"I thought I smelt wet-dog," she smiled, "Really, if you spend any more time in my house, I'm never going to get rid of the smell!" I wrinkled my nose in response. She didn't smell too good either. Bella started to talk once more, "I just came to get you Jacob. Esme has made some omelettes, and I don't think Ness, uh, Renesmee will be able to finish them by herself. But it looks like you've already eaten," she said, eyeing the plates surrounding him.
"Always room for more," Jacob said, patting his impossibly flat stomach.
"And you two, Seth, Leah, feel free to take some food; from here or up at the house. We have no use for it," Bella offered. A few moments later, Bella's phone rang, and it was at her ear before I had a chance to process that it had rung.
"Edward?" She asked, moving away from us. Even with my sensitive ears – though not as sensitive as my wolf ears – I couldn't hear exactly what was being said, just that Edward sounded agitated. I wouldn't have been able to understand anyway; both Edward and Bella were speaking so fast their words turned into a blur. Within thirty seconds however, she was back, next to us – a little too close for my liking in fact.
"I have to go," she whispered, and was out the door before we could blink.
"What?" Seth asked, puzzled, looking at me. Jacob jumped to his feet, and growled,
"Nessie!" He too was out the door at inhuman speed. We heard him transform into a wolf just outside the door. My brother and I looked at each other, and then sprinted after him, changing to our wolf forms also.
As we were flying through the forest, we felt Jacob inside our minds. He was incredibly worried, his thoughts incoherent. He reached the house before we did, his presence in my mind disappeared abruptly, and a few seconds later, Seth also disappeared. I slowed to a walk. There was no point in me being there. Soon though, my curiosity overruled, and I phased back to human form, locating some clothes I had stashed earlier on, and wandered towards the big white house in the meadow.