2: So much rage: EPOV

It felt like my body might explode from rage and fear how could she ride a motorbike after she promised me that she would keep out of danger that she would keep herself safe? No this was anything but keeping herself safe, with her clumsiness Bella was likely to fall off of that death-trap soon. But I wouldn't let that happen I had to keep her safe I would not let her hurt herself. I still loved her I had never stopped and to have Bella yelling at me that it was none of my business how she lived was heartbreaking. But she didn't know, she didn't know that I still loved her that I had never stopped loving her or that I had lied that day in the forest. I hadn't left because I didn't want Bella, she was all I had ever wanted, I had left because I was afraid that Bella would die if I stayed with her and I couldn't bear to know that I was living in a world where Bella was not, because a world without Bella would be a lesser world so I left so that hopefully Bella would get to live a safe long life.

But now I saw that safe was not how Bella planed on living so I would stay near her hopefully in her life if she could ever forgive me but why would she? I had broken her heart the last thing in the world I had ever wanted to do. And now it was my job to repair what I had broken I would make her whole again if it was the last thing I ever did. I would earn back Bella's trust and love and this time I would not break her heart I would give her whatever she wanted including vampirism if that is still what she wants. I'll give her the world if she will let me, Bella will know true love again I will not leave her unless that's what Bella wants.

"Yo man" Emmett said to me knocking me out of my train of thought.

"What" I nearly growled I was still mad but now I was mostly scared for Bella's safety.

"So Bella's changed huh?" Emmett smiled I'm glad I got to see heragain he thought.

"Yes she has changed a lot she rides a motorbike now" I hissed.

"That's hot man and she was also wearing leather, dude she's hot" Emmett smiled Jasper and Emmett had always had a thing for girls in leather but they never told anyone except me mostly because Alice and Rosalie would growl at them Emse would give them a weird look saying as if and Carlisle would give them a talk about treating girls right while having sex which neither of them wanted. The only reason I knew was because they had told me before I could read their minds and find out that way so they had decided to tell me before that could happen and have me tell the girls.

"She's a danger magnet and she's always been beautiful" I corrected my brother.

"I know but dude she was wearing leather! You so can't say that it didn't make your downstairs brain jump a million miles in the air" Emmett exclaimed

"Not the point" I couldn't help but smile after all he was right the pants were so hot and tight on Bella it was hard to stay in control of my actions and not walk over to her kiss her senseless and rip that gorgeous leather off her gorgeous body.

"Emmett has a point man, she was smoking hot in those pants and besides she has always been a danger magnet" Jasper smiled and Emmett gave him a high five while I glared at them. For someone so old they could be so young!

"I know that but on a motorbike there's even more chance that she'll be hurt" I hissed and instantly felt Jasper calm me down with his power.

"Well she's done fine so far I mean she's an independent beautiful woman isn't that why you left her so she could become a woman? And grow old?" Jasper asked

"Yes and so that she would be safe and not be in danger" I frowned at my words realizing how stupid they sounded Bella was never safe she wasn't even safe from herself with the way she was always falling over.

"Dude that's the most stupid thing you've ever said and I've heard you say some really stupid things over the decades Bella's never safe like you said she's a danger magnet!" Emmett nearly yelled.

"I know that more now than ever" I whispered knowing that they could hear me.

"What do you mean?" Jasper asked sounding concerned and it showed in his eyes.

"Something Bella said she said 'I've nearly died 5 times in the last three years' I wanna know what she was talking about" I said trying to figure it out.

"Did she tell you how?" Emmett whispered she didn't mean like, um, suicide did she? He thought frowning he hated the thought of Bella hurting herself, Emmett had always loved Bella like a sister and that thought was tearing him up.

"NO!" I yelled "at least I don't think so" I whispered I had to know what she meant.

Jasper gave Emmett a strange look wondering what he had just thought and I heard Emmett whisper "suicide" to Jasper oh that explains the yelling but she wouldn't as if he had to ask that what an idiot! He thought.

"I gotta go I'll see you guys later" I said and walked off.

"Where you going?" I heard Emmett ask.

"To Bella" I replied and ran at human speed the rest of the way trying to track Bella's scent.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

It took around 45 minutes to track Bella's scent back to her apartment I kept smelling her scent going in the other direction just to find out it was from a couple of days ago when she must of gone to the supermarket. Bella lived on the fourth floor of her building her apartment was a box how could she breathe in here? It's so tiny. But at the same time it was so much like Bella clean and tidy. Bella didn't have many personal items but she had always been that way, there were a few pictures of her with her mum and dad and then there was one with her and three males who I did not recognize and there was one with the girl that I had seen it the bar. Bella also had a few candles around the place and books and cd's scattered here and there. I knew Bella had plans tonight so I decided that I would wait for her in her bedroom. I sat down on her bed inhaling her sweet scent I wanted this scent to stay with me forever and never again could I live without it, she was my drug again and I would not starve myself of it any longer. I loved her to much to be able to leave her again.