A/N: A few reviewers pointed out that there were no female ambassadors in the last chapter...but I never said that. I'd like to point out a line:

"She found it much easier to talk to them than to the men, and many of them were politicians themselves."

See? :) It was a bit of an obscure passage but I'll try to make this fact more noticeable in the future.

Chapter 2: Communication

Sarek's eyes slowly lowered from hers. He did not reply to her declaration and instead concentrated on stroking her hair, the silken strands sliding between his fingers.

After several silent and tense seconds of waiting, Amanda placed her hands on his face and forced him to look up at her. She couldn't bear the anticipation- she'd finally gotten the courage to say the words and the silence that followed was not what she'd hoped for.

"Say something," she bade him. His dark eyes looked into hers steadily.

"What do you expect me to say?" he asked. She sighed, shaking her head.

"I don't know. Whatever comes to mind first."

His eyes lowered again- this time in thoughtfulness, not avoidance.

"I sensed something was disturbing you during our melds and on occasion through the bond. Out of respect for your privacy I did not delve deeper to seek out the cause. I assumed it had something to do with me...but I was not expecting this." His voice was quiet and she felt nothing from the bond. He was blocking her.

"You're still avoiding what I said," she said, moving out of his embrace and sitting upright so she could look at him.

"I am not. I am curious as to why you kept this desire from me for so long. I thought I made it clear when we first began our relationship that I welcome communication and honesty. Why did you not mention this sooner?"

"Does it matter?" she asked tensely, folding her arms and staring at him.

"It does to me. I had thought we developed a level of trust that would allow you to speak to me about matters that are important to you, no matter how personal. This has bothered you for months and yet you did not tell me sooner."

She touched on the link, seeking entrance into his mind. She needed to know how he felt...and when he let her in she felt...sadness. She had kept this from him- he thought this meant she did not trust him, could not confide in him...

A part of her relented and she scooted closer to him.

"It's not that," she said aloud, stroking his jaw. "I do trust you. It's just that this is a very sensitive subject for us both. It took a lot of courage to finally say it because saying it out loud makes it official. There's no guarantee it's even possible and..." She broke off, biting her lips and looking down.

"As humans say...you do not want to get your hopes up," Sarek finished. She nodded and then took a deep breath.

"I need to know how you feel about this, Sarek. I need to know if you want to start a family too."

He did not reply right away, once more threading his fingers through her hair- something he did when in deep contemplation. She waited as patiently as she could but her posture was rigid with apprehension. Finally he spoke.

"As it is what you want," he said, "we will make an attempt."

"Sarek..." She sighed. "You can't agree to this just because I want it...you have to want it too."

"If it were entirely up to me, I would not take the risk," he said quietly, his eyes once more lowering from hers.

"What?" she said incredulously.

"I would rather have only you than risk the possibility of losing both you and the child," Sarek explained calmly. "We have already lost one and that experience was painful enough."

"That's a risk I'm willing to take!" she said, climbing off his lap and standing before him with her hands on her hips. "We have to try, Sarek! Don't you want us to have a complete family?"

He folded his hands before him, looking down at the floor.

"I do not deny that the idea of having a child with you is pleasing. But if it is even possible I am sure the required process is dangerous and full of complications for both you and the child in question. I would prefer not to take chances."

"But it would be worth it!" she cried. "You aren't even willing to try! You're being selfish!"

"I believe I already said we would make an attempt, as it is your wish to do so."

"That's just it- I'm the only one wanting to give it a shot! It can't be that way, Sarek! This has to be a mutual decision. And since you obviously don't want it...I guess I don't either." Her fists clenched at her sides as she turned her back on him.

Amanda was hurt. She'd wanted to give it a try so much...the fact that he obviously didn't pained her. She'd hoped he wanted a family too but she was wrong. He didn't care one way or the other. And at the moment she didn't even want to look at him.

"I'm going to bed. Good night, Sarek," she said sadly.

As she moved back to the bed tears formed in her eyes. And when she drew the covers around her she heard him moving around, presumably changing out of his clothes. A few minutes later she felt his weight on the mattress and moved farther away, her back facing him. She wasn't going to yell and scream or even cry like she wanted to...but that didn't mean she had to pretend he hadn't just hurt her more than he ever had before.

Sarek commanded the lights to turn off and they lay in darkness, silence stretching on between them. Each knew that the other was still awake and the absence of their nightly banter made the silence deafening, the tension thick between them. Every muscle in her body was taut with it and she wondered if she would be able to sleep at all that night.

She wasn't sure how much time passed during which they simply lay there- awake and not saying a word to each other. Finally, his weight shifted and she tensed as she felt his warm presence behind her.

"I never said I do not want us to have a child," he said, breaking the silence.

"Not in so many words," she replied bitterly.

"Not at all," he corrected. "I only said that if it were solely my decision to make I would not do it because of the danger involved."

"But wouldn't the danger be worth it if it was successful?"

"Precisely, Amanda...if it was successful," he said. She sighed in frustration, trying to keep her anger at bay.

"We'll never know if it will work if we don't try at all. I know it might be dangerous, Sarek. But this is a situation in which you have to look at it with optimism, not with a negative Vulcan mentality."

"It is not a negative assumption, Amanda. It is a simple fact that you could die from such a pregnancy and I do not want harm to come to you," he said gently, laying a hand on her arm.

"And I'm willing to take the risk- as I've already said. But since you don't think it's worth the effort, I guess this conversation is pointless."

She drew her arm away from him and resettled herself, drawing the covers over her shoulders. She could still feel him behind her, his heat soaking into her.

"I never said I thought it would not be worth it, either. I distinctly remember saying that the idea of you having my child was pleasing."

"But you don't want to try to have one."

"I do want to," he said so quietly she had to strain to hear him. "I want it very much."

'Then why not just say so?" she asked in exasperation.

"My desire for it does not change the fact that it is dangerous."

She looked over her shoulder at him. "Do you or do you not want to try?"

"I am unsure," he said, his voice low. "Aside from the possible dangers..." He hesitated for a moment before speaking again. "Have you taken all the facts into consideration? Your time is occupied enough as it is. A thirteen-month pregnancy would only-"

"Wait- thirteen months?!" she interrupted, her voice rising. Even though it was dark, enough moonlight filtered through the window to illuminate Sarek's face. She could see his eyebrows rise.

"Yes, Amanda. The average Vulcan gestation is thirteen months. You did not know this?"

"No, I didn't," she admitted. She thought about this for a moment...a whole year of pregnancy? She hadn't expected that...but surely it would be bearable... "It would be less for a half-human though, right?"

"I do not know...but you must take all facts into consideration while making your decision, Amanda," he replied.

"I don't need to consider it any more. I'm resolved," she said with a finality Sarek knew he couldn't argue with. "All I need to know is that you want a child too- and not just because it's what I want. You have to want to make an attempt for your own reasons, not mine."

"I do," he replied softly as he lay a warm, heavy hand on her waist. "I should have said so to begin with. I do want a family- and for illogical reasons. Yet I cannot deny I am wary of the possible risks. I leave the decision in your hands, my adun'a. Whatever you decide I will support despite my reservations. But know that I do want it as much as you do."

Relief washed over her and she finally turned over to move closer to him, into his warm arms.

"Then we both want the same thing. And as for the dangers...we'll worry about that later. The fact that we both want to try is enough for now. First we have to find out if it's at all possible."

"We must consult a geneticist," Sarek replied as she nuzzled her face against his chest. "And I am acquainted with one. I could schedule an appointment if you would like."

"You do that," she said softly, relief once again rolling over her. He was willing, then...his only concern was the danger. Of course that was all...she should have known as much. "I'm sorry for yelling at you. I know you're only concerned that something might happen to me."

"It is illogical to apologize. There is nothing to forgive," he replied and she smiled before kissing him.

"I think I said earlier that you would have a chance to prove to me how interesting you are," she said. He pulled her closer to him, lifting her leg and placing it over his hip so they were pressed flush against each other.

"So you did," he said.

Sarek looked over at his wife, who sat in a plastic chair with her legs crossed; one foot jiggling nervously as she wrung her hands in her lap. They had only been waiting for ten minutes, but she had been nervous ever since the journey from Earth to Vulcan the night before.

It had been a week since they'd decided to check into the possibility of conception. As promised, Sarek had made a consultation appointment with the geneticist and then they had come to Vulcan for the weekend. Now they waited in the lobby of the building that housed a laboratory.

Amanda's nervousness was in part because today they would find out whether or not they could have a child- but he also suspected it was because the geneticist was Sarek's former betrothed, T'Para. The first meeting between the women had not gone particularly well and she feared she'd made a bad impression on the Vulcan. She'd tried to get Sarek to find someone else- but T'Para was highly experienced with genetics from all known life forms. There was no better person for the task at hand and he'd told her so.

He did want this as much as she did- but his concern and fear for her safety outweighed that. What he'd said to her the week before was true...if the decision had been his they would not be there. But it was hers, and she'd made it.

All week she had been much more cheerful than usual. She was in no way an unhappy woman before- but now she smiled almost constantly, touching him affectionately in some way every time she walked past and kissed him...among other things...every chance she got. He'd never seen her in such a state of spirits before.

But now all that had disappeared, resulting in the jumpy, nerve-wracked woman beside him.

He leaned toward her and she looked at him, chewing on her bottom lip.

"Calm yourself, Amanda," he said gently. He opened the bond and sent her the peace she needed. Her foot stopped jiggling and her hands relaxed in her lap.

"What if she tells us it's impossible?" she asked and he sensed her worry. He knew if that happened she would be extremely upset.

"If that is what occurs, I am here," he reassured her telepathically. Then aloud, "And we have already had confirmation that it is possible. We simply need to find out how to bring it to completion."

"Thank you," she responded in his mind with a small smile.

At that moment a door opened and Amanda sat straighter in her chair. T'Para entered the lobby...she looked as Sarek remembered her. Dark hair twisted up in a complicated coif, her face lovely and yet blank, her gown billowing behind her as she neared them.

"Dif-tor heh smusma, Sarek and Lady Amanda," she said, giving the Vulcan salute as they stood. They returned the greeting before she led them back through the door from which she'd come and down a stark, white-paneled corridor to another door that slid open automatically as they approached.

Once they were seated in her office, T'Para sat across from them behind her desk.

"I have reviewed the case and your medical histories and come to a conclusion," she said. Sarek saw Amanda lean forward, her breath catching in her throat as she awaited the verdict. He was outwardly calm- but he was just as apprehensive as she was. "There are many differences between Vulcan and human physiology, the most notable and conflicting being the placement of organs and the differing blood compositions. As you already know from Lady Amanda's miscarriage of last year, at the end of the first month the embryo ceases to function when the organs begin to develop. This is the greatest challenge your case presents. However, I am certain it is possible for you to have a child. I have already compiled information on procedures that will allow it."

Amanda's breath came out forcefully and she smiled weakly. He felt her intense relief as well as his own.

"It is apparent that we cannot conceive naturally. What are our options?" Sarek asked.

T'Para leaned forward, lacing her fingers together on her desk. "There are two. The first is significantly riskier for the child. The second is riskier for the mother. Shall I outline the separate processes?"

Sarek and Amanda both nodded once and she continued.

"In the first, conception is achieved through natural means. At the end of the first month of pregnancy the embryo is removed from the womb and for the next three months gestated in a laboratory with strict monitoring. After that time the fetus is replaced in the womb for another three months to mature. At that time it is removed yet again for the final stages of development. This is a lengthy, highly dangerous process for the infant."

Sarek could feel Amanda's discomfort at the idea of this plan. He himself did not enjoy the prospect. The idea of their child growing to maturity in a lab was...unsettling. Unnatural.

"And the second?" Amanda asked.

"In the second, a zygote from each of you is genetically altered. Vulcan genes are stronger than human ones, therefore the human genes that negatively impact the hybrid embryo's development will be suppressed to allow for Vulcan development instead. The child's blood will contain human elements to allow for the mother and child to coexist. But mostly, the child will assume Vulcan physiology and appearance.

"The altered zygotes would be combined in a laboratory before being placed in the womb, but this process may have to be repeated more than once before the embryo takes. It depends entirely on chance. But once the embryo attaches itself to the uterine wall there will be a less than ten percent chance of a miscarriage in the first months of pregnancy." T'Para fell silent and observed the couple across from her.

"The second option sounds more agreeable," Amanda said. But Sarek leaned forward.

"You mentioned that this second option would be more dangerous for the mother," he pointed out. T'Para nodded slowly.

"Yes. The human body is not made to accommodate a Vulcan fetus. As the pregnancy progresses there will be a higher chance of complications which may be serious in nature for both mother and child. But I have estimated the chances of the infant surviving until birth to be nearly twenty percent higher with the second option than with the first."

"But it would risk Amanda's life," Sarek concluded. T'Para nodded once more.

"It is a difficult decision. The chances of survival for the child are slim with the first option but her own life could be endangered with the second. Yet these are the only two proven procedures for hybrid offspring. I have assisted in many such pregnancies and although this is my first Vulcan-human attempt, I have high hopes for it to be just as successful as the others."

Silence fell in the room. Sarek disliked both of these options but if he had to choose...

"I'll go with option two," Amanda said suddenly. Both T'Para and Sarek turned to her in surprise.

"Amanda-" he began. That was not the option he would have chosen.

"Don't," was all she said, her voice quiet. She did not look at him, instead looking at T'Para. "How soon will all this be possible?"

Sarek shifted in his chair. He did not like how she was excluding him from this decision. And she was choosing the dangerous option...he felt panic rising within him. He couldn't allow her to risk her life...

"It depends, Lady Amanda," T'Para replied. "I would require experimental zygotes from each of you to test the correct formula for genetic suppression. It may be weeks or even months before I am finished. After that it would only be a matter of having you come once a month for the implantation until it is successful."

"Amanda, perhaps we should discuss this," Sarek said, leaning toward her and catching her eye. "I would prefer-"

"You said this was my decision," she said softly. "And I've decided."

"And yet-"

"Sarek, we'll discuss it later," she said quietly and turned back to T'Para, who had watched the exchange blankly. "I'm not sure I like the whole laboratory aspect. This sounds too much like an experiment and I don't like to think that my child would be conceived in such a way...but this is infinitely better than having it removed and replaced repeatedly. If Sarek will consent, when will you need our zygotes?"

Sarek's jaw clenched as anger flared within him. He would not consent to this. Consenting would mean he approved of his wife endangering herself. He wanted a child as much as she- but not if it cost her life.

"Whenever you are prepared," T'Para replied.

"I must discuss this with you first," Sarek said coldly to Amanda, his knuckles white as he clutched the arm rests of his chair. He turned to T'Para. "We will inform you of our decision tomorrow at the earliest. We must take our leave now."

He stood. Amanda looked as if she were about to protest, but when he looked at her she seemed to see something of what he was feeling in his eyes. She stood without a word and nodded at T'Para as they left.

They did not speak a word until they arrived at the mansion, but Sarek was fuming. Amanda could feel it over the bond- he was far from pleased with her decision. But she would not back down. Her decision was final.

He led her up to the bedchamber and she was somehow sure that if the door was an old-fashioned swinging door he would have slammed it shut behind him as he entered after her.

"I cannot allow it, Amanda," he said. His eyes blazed as he stood before her with his arms crossed. "It is too dangerous for you. You should go with the first option if you are going to insist we do this at all."

"Neither option really strikes me as the perfect one," Amanda admitted. "But I had a choice and I made it, Sarek. It's either put an infant through a torturous process in a laboratory- a process which it isn't likely to survive, by the way- or take the chance that I may have complications with in-vitro fertilization."

"If you refuse the first option then I suggest you not do this at all. I would far rather be childless than wifeless, Amanda," he said icily.

"How can you say that?" Amanda asked angrily, slamming her fist on the night table. "The whole point of going through this is to have a baby! What's the use if I'm going to pick the route most likely to result in its death? I would rather pick the option most likely to result in a live birth- even if I have to endanger myself for it!"

"I want a child as well- but I also want you to survive. If forced to choose between one or the other I would choose you."

"How can you claim you want a family and then turn around and say something so heartless as that?" Amanda asked angrily, shaking her head. "You're asking me to make a choice that could kill your own flesh and blood. And you want me to make that decision? You want me to take that risk? I would far rather risk myself than the life of an infant! I don't think you want this as much as I do. I would gladly endanger myself to give you a child. I don't even have words for how selfish you are!"

"The child could very possibly live, Amanda. You seem convinced it could not survive the process. I admit there is a higher risk factor and it may be selfish to ask you to take the chance- but that is what I believe you should do," Sarek said grimly. "There is no need to risk your life. If you do not choose the first option I will refuse to participate."

She stared at him in disbelief for a moment. Then her face hardened and she advanced toward him. She raised a hand and brought it down sharply across his face- smack!

He barely flinched but she knew he felt it. He stared down at her calmly, his arms slowly lowering to his sides.

"You disgust me," she hissed as hot tears started to fall down her cheeks. "How could you ask that of me? I refuse to take that chance, Sarek."

She moved around him towards the door. All she knew was that she needed to get away from him- far away. She had never been more furious.

And for once he didn't try to stop her.