You Can't Rescue Me
Chapter 2
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Author's Note: Italics are Brooke's point of view. Also, some parts of this might be "gross" and it might be triggering, so you're forewarned.
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So yes, Brooke Davis is bulimic. And nobody knows about it but me. I can't imagine what my friends would say if they found out. It's something I've been able to hide really well. It's my most intense vice. I've been throwing up since I was 14, when I started drinking. It's such a release. I know it's bad, yadda yadda yadda, but it's who I am. It's what I do. It's all I know.
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"Love is watching someone die…"
Brooke awoke after sleeping for nearly 12 hours, having no idea how she got from the bathroom to her bed. She sat up very slowly and opens her eyes to find Rachel studying her disheveled roommate.
"What?" Brooke asks, groggily.
"You're gross, you know that?"
"Huh?" Brooke asks, confused, as she gets out of bed and walks to her nightstand to get out some aspirin.
"There's puke in your hair", Rachel points out matter-of-factly.
Brooke stops in her tracks and turns to face Rachel, "I got sick last night. I drank too much. I must've forgotten to hold my hair back", she shrugs.
Rachel seems to believe her, "Whatever. Just shower because your puke is making me want to puke."
Brooke smiles a crooked, nervous smile and walks to the bathroom, closing and locking the door behind her.
She stares at herself in the mirror, "Fuck! You've got to stop purging when you're drunk", Brooke mumbles. She begins to strip down, turning the handle on the shower, staring at the nicks and bite marks on the knuckles of her right hand.
Brooke steps into the shower slowly, still dizzy with a hangover. She lets the steaming hot water nearly scald her skin. She begins violently scrubbing her skin, cursing herself and hating her body. Brooke lets the water cascade over her body, and then turns the faucet to cold. She leans over, shoving her fingers down her throat, and throws up a painful mixture of punch, water, and bile. Washing the bathtub clean, Brooke continues her shower, completely disgusted with herself.
Brooke towels herself dry, and then steps back into her bedroom to find Rachel still sitting in the same place where she had been sitting before.
"Are you okay?" Rachel asks.
"What makes you think I'm not?" Brooke snaps back, slightly offended.
"It's not like New Brooke to get fall-down, throw up drunk."
"I know. But isn't it okay to have fun?"
"Of course. But did you have fun last night?"
"Ugh, no."
"What's going on?" Rachel pats the spot on the bed next to her. Brooke laughs and sits down.
"Lucas and Peyton are making me sick", admits Brooke.
"I thought you were okay with it."
"Ha. I might be New Brooke, but I'm not Pod Brooke."
"Are you still in love with him?" Rachel asks.
"He's the first guy I ever loved. He can be an asshole, but I guess I'll always love him."
"At least you can admit it."
Brooke sighs, "Right, sure. I'm just going to get dressed. Want to go shopping today?"
"Definitely", Rachel smiles and leaves the room so Brooke can change and get ready for their day at the mall.
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Brooke and Rachel, especially as a team, can command all attention from a room. This was definitely true somewhere like the mall where men and boys oogled and girls sighed in jealousy. The mall was Brooke and Rachel's favorite place, especially to blow off steam.
"I know", Rachel states out of the blue.
"What? You know what?"
"I know why there was vomit in your hair this morning."
"I told you. I got too drunk last night."
"Maybe, but that's not the reason you threw up."
"Mind your own g-ddamned business, Rachel."
"Fine, but I'm here if you need to talk", Rachel genuinely offers.
"Whatever. Let's just leave."
"What? Brooke, why?"
"Because I don't want to deal with you anymore", Brooke starts walk fast towards the exit.
"What the hell did I do?" Rachel walks faster to try to catch up to Brooke.
Brooke stops abruptly and looks Rachel in the eye, "You think you know everything about me. Why I do what I do. But you don't, so leave me alone."
"Brooke."
"What?" Brooke responds angrily.
"I used to do it, too."
"Do what?"
"Purge."
"Right, like I would believe you."
"I was fat as a kid, I know that. But when I got to middle school, I started to lose weight. I started puking when I was 14."
"Me too", Brooke mumbles under her breath.
"What?"
"I said, 'me too'. I was 14 when this all started, too."
"Oh, so you admit it."
"You had me pinned against a wall, what else was I supposed to do?"
"I didn't mean to pressure you, Brooke. But admitting it is the first step to getting better."
"I'm not going to get better, Rachel."
"Why the hell not?"
"Come on, I'm going home", Brooke begins walking towards the exit again.
"You've got to stop running away", Rachel calls after her.
"Ugh, shut up!" Brooke calls back without looking behind her, and both girls leave the mall in a huff.
"…so, who's going to watch you die?"
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Leave review and let me know what you think. It's a bit weak, but I do intend for it to get better.
Lyrics and chapter title belong to Death Cab for Cutie, as does the chapter title for Chapter 1.