A nice soft padding was under me now, unlike the hard platform my body had fell on. My body aches terribly from the fall. Everything was so confusing right now; it is very difficult to think. Even through the haze of everything I am able to feel a familiar presence. It is not Anakin; I would've been able to tell who that was right away. I open my eyes, and see Obi Wan standing above me.
"Obi Wan? Is Anakin alright?" I ask, extremely tired.
He doesn't reply, he just looks terribly sad. I need to think this over...
As Obi Wan pushed my hair back I drift off, and everything becomes much clearer.
Even though I am unconscious I can still think. I can think a lot better now; it is not clear to me why, but I accept it.
So Obi Wan was truly right. Anakin has been seduced by the dark side. Oh Ani.
What could I have done? Why did I wait until the last minute? I could've done so many things to save him. If only I had woke him up before he had is dream, or if I told him about my suspicions of Palpatine. I could have never confessed my love to him, or I could've made him run away with me right after we were married. I should've never brought Palpatine to power, or made Anakin go to Geonosis to save Obi Wan. I could've done so many things differently, but I didn't. Now I can't change it. My poor husband.
I have failed again. I failed the Republic, and I failed my husband. I have only one duty left now, my children. I have to do what is best for the children.
But what is that? Should I allow them to see Anakin? They have a right to see their father….but Palpatine will hurt them. No, they cannot be allowed to see Anakin. Not until they are grown, and can defend and think for themselves.
Anakin….I'm so, so, so sorry. These children belong to you; it is your right as a father to see them. I have failed you Ani, but I will not fail them. Please understand this, please.
So I will give birth to my children and hide.
One of my children moved in my stomach, and I realize that hiding will not work. Anakin will look for me that much is obvious. No, I can't be with my children. They can't have my feel, they need someone else hide their force ability.
So I should live out my term….and put my children up for adoption. It will be terribly painful, but that is how it needs to go.
No, that won't work either. Anakin will come looking for me right away, and Palpatine will encourage it so he can have my children. I would have to ask Obi Wan to deliver them as soon as possible. There, that should work!
If I was awake I'm sure I'd laugh at myself. Do I really think that I can give up my children? Honestly? Oh Padme' you may be strong, but you're not that strong.
I have no idea what to do.
My Republic has died, my husband has turned to the dark side, and my children whom I can't bear to let go are not safe with me.
I'm jolted awake, but I don't open my eyes. I can, however, here voices.
"Wrong about the Chosen One, you were." Yoda's backwards talk said.
My eyes flung open. I knew who the Chosen One was…or was supposed to be. Yoda was talking about Anakin. But with who?
My eyes slide everywhere, looking to find Yoda. There he is with…..
Qui Gon?
What?
No, no, no. Qui Gon's dead.
Unless?
"I can't believe I am. How is that possible? His midichlorian count was so high…" Qui Gon replied.
"Perhaps the child the Chosen One is."
"No…I had been so sure when I was alive."
I closed my eyes. So Qui Gon is dead, and yet he was here….
That's it! If I die….my children can be hidden, and I can still watch over them. The situation was so perfect!
Except….
My children would have to live without their mother. And I would have to be without them. Right now I want more than anything to just run away with my children. But I can't. I failed the Republic. I failed Anakin. I will not fail my children. I will not fail at everything I have ever loved.
So I will let myself become one with the force. Perhaps Qui Gon will teach me to communicate with my children. Even if he doesn't I can still watch over them, make sure that they will be safe.
Yes, the plan sounds great.
Except….
Anakin.
My hand grabs the japor necklace he gave me so long ago ,and I slip it off my neck. They will make me change clothes, but I'm going to take what I can of him into the operating room.
Speaking of Anakin….I wonder how he is. Obi Wan had looked sad when I asked him if he was alright…oh no. No, no, no, no. Anakin!
One of many good things about my children is they have made me force sensitive; I remember communicating with Anakin from across Coruscant…. I suppose that was right before he turned. Could I still reach him anyway? I have to try.
My grip tightens on the japor pendant, and I do my best to search for him. I feel a kick in my belly, and I feel terrible.
I'm so sorry my children, but I have to leave. You will be loved, and you will be safe. It is better for me to leave before I get a chance to know you.
Anakin…..Anakin….where are you? How are you? Ana-
Pain.
Where are my legs? My left arm? It's gone, gone! How? Why? Why did every part of my body burn? It was as if somebody had lit me on fire, and finally it has gone out.
Ow, ow, ow, ow! Even though the fire was out, every part of my body burned. My blood oozed out, and everything was hot. When I was younger I had been boiling hot water, and a little of it had splashed on me. My mother had held me, comforted me as I cried. Nobody was here to comfort me now. And this is worse, much, much worse.
All I want is to die. To curl up in a ball and die. Living is no longer desirable now. Too much pain. No, I have to die.
I want to die. I want to die. I want to die.
Why am I here? Why am I in this mess? How did this happen? The last thing I can remember is smiling at Bail Organa…..He had told me something. What was it?
"You're right. Now is not the time. But it will come." He had said.
The time for what? What was I right about? Nothing makes sense.
Republic and Jedi have fallen. Empire and Sith have risen.
Oh. I remember everything now. But why am I feeling this pain?
Anakin! I have connected with him! He feels this….this pain? No, not Ani! A few seconds ago I thought my pain couldn't get any worse, but it has. My heart aches from remembering everything, and it aches for Ani. He is going through this pain. No, he does not deserve this. Not Ani. No, no, no.
Padme'.
Anakin. It's Anakin!
Oh Ani.
Padme'….I'm so sorry. Will you be ok? Did I hurt you?
I shielded my thoughts from him. He could not know the plan, and he could know that I was going to die. He could not know about the twins. But since I felt his pain will he feel mine? Will he feel the pains of labor? If he does, then he'll assume it's a dream after I'm…gone.
Yes Ani, I'll be just fine. Your force choke did not hurt me.
Other than crush my heart, I add to myself.
I'm so glad. Padme'…..I hurt.
I know Anakin; I can feel. But I'm here. You're fine, you're ok.
Where are you?
There will be time to talk later. Right now just rest.
I will.
I feel his thoughts fade away, but the connection is still there. I feel everything he feels. I can feel the rain falling on his burnt skin, burning him like holding a cold ice cube for too long.
I need to return to the twins, block him from reading my mind. He would be able to feel everything, but we will never communicate again. I just had to tell him one more thing. It was one of the last words I had verbally told him.
Anakin, I love you.
He is surprised, and he is not able to understand how I can love him after everything he has done.
I will always love you.
Padme…I love you too. More than you know.
I didn't reply, but I just blocked my thoughts from him, and started to become conscious. Even though I was not longer asleep the force connection was still there. I felt everything he felt.
But heard nothing of his mind. He hears nothing of mine.
And now….I will myself to die.
It isn't really that hard. After everything I have been through... and everything I feel…. it is no wonder that I am exhausted.
It will be better this way. It has to be.
My plan seems to be working, because I hear the Medical Droid say "Medically, she is completely healthy. For reasons we can't explain, we are losing her."
"She's dying?" Obi Wan's shocked voice blurted.
I'm sorry Obi Wan, so sorry. You lost your both of your best friends in one day. Not to mention all of the other Jedi…
It's getting harder to breathe. So much harder. I'm sorry my dear children, so sorry.
"We don't know why. She has lost the will to live. We will have to operate quickly to save the babies."
I am right. My child that I thought I had been carrying is actually two children.
"Babies?" I heard Bail ask. Oh good, Bail had survived. Maybe he could keep the rebellion going. Him and his wife.
His wife. I remember talking to Bail about children once, right after I had found out I was pregnant.
"Bail….can I ask you something personal?" I asked.
"Of course m'lady." He assured me with a smile.
"Have you ever thought of having children?"
"My wife and I have always wanted a baby girl. Unfortunately, my wife is unable to conceive. We have, however, talked about adopting a girl. Why the sudden interest?"
"I'm just wondering."
Oh please let one of these babies be a girl. I trust Bail, and know that he would love her.
"She's carrying twins." The medical droid replied.
"Save them we must. They are our last hope." I couldn't help but notice the sadness in Yoda's voice.
One of the babies kicked. Yes, sweetie, you are the hope. You are the new hope.
As they drug me, I can feel a new arm being installed on me. No, not me. Anakin. Anakin.
Suddenly, I feel my own pain.
My eyes open, and I see Obi Wan staring down at me. "You're about to give birth. To your twins."
I wanted to tell him that I knew, but I was already too exhausted. For the good of the galaxy, my life was draining from me. Maybe my children could the fix the Republic that I had ruined.
"Push." The Medical Droid said, and I did.
I've never given birth before, but I have a feeling mine was a lot harder than any normal mother's was. Perhaps it was because it felt as if my skin burned, and it didn't help when I moved it.
I cry out as I push, and so did Anakin. He feels my pain, but he was confused. As my back arched of the table, so did his. Both of our arms flung out, and his hit something….a droid maybe?
I push harder, moving the burned skin, and felt more of my life drain from me. Oh my, this was so hard. Will I be able to get the babies out? Yes, I have to. I will not fail them.
Obi Wan takes my hand and encourages me, "Don't give up Padme'." Even though him touching my burnt hand hurt, his words gave me strength. One. More. Push.
Yes! One of my babies is out. What does it look like? Was it the boy I have wanted so badly, or the girl Anakin so desperately longed for?
"A boy." The medical droid answered my unspoken question.
Obi Wan held him to me, and I slowly reached my hand up, the one that was holding the Japor pendant. Luke should be touched by his father, he needed to be. This way, he would still have love for his father, even when he found out who he really was.
"Luke…" I whispered while the Jabor pendant and my hand glided across his forehead. I would love to stare at him for eternity, but I can tell I'm fading fast. I still have one more child to deliver. Perhaps this would be the one to fulfill Anakin's hope.
"Oh Luke." I whisper.
Getting the child out was even harder this time, I'm so exhausted. So tired. But soon I will rest. Rest for eternity.
The child is out, and my heart quickens to see what the gender is. Oh please let it be a girl, please, for Anakin. Please.
"And a girl." The medical droid said.
A girl. Oh Anakin! You have a girl! I feel things being laid on Anakin, but can't figure out what it is. Anakin had felt the birthing pain, and he is even more confused. Later he will think it was just a dream. Part of me wishes he could know, but for my children's sake he must not.
"Leia." I whisper, staring at the beautiful girl Anakin wanted. I stare at both my children, and squeeze the japor pendant. Somehow, even in this moment we are somehow all together. Sharing our first and only family moment.
The medical droid takes the baby away, and I feel a tear slip away from my eye and roll down my cheek. I'm so sorry Luke and Leia! I want to be with you so bad, I love you so much! But I will not fail you; you will not go into the hands of….Sidious.
"You have twins Padme', hang on. They need you." Obi Wan begged me.
For the barest instant I almost did. I almost started to fight. I was almost selfish, and almost endangered my children's lives. I almost made Darth Sidious be able to find them. I almost ruined my children's lives. I would've too, if I hadn't been flashed to Anakin's eyes, where a mask with red eyes was lowering down.
"I….can't…." I moaned.
I take Obi Wan's hand, and he feels the japor pendant. He looks down surprised, and realizes what it is. Then he looks at me.
"Save your energy." He told me, still trying to encourage me.
Obi Wan. He lost his apprentice. His friend. His brother. I was almost gone now, but before I was leave, there was something Obi Wan had to know. He needed to know that the goodness in Anakin he thought had died along with all his other Jedi friends was still there.
"Obi Wan….there…is good in…him. I know… there is still…"
Luke. Leia. Anakin.
I'm no longer in my body, but watching Obi Wan stare at me, his hand holding mine and the japor pendant.
In the middle of all the chaos threw the galaxy, the death of loved ones, the pleas for help, the sadness of what once was, the bloodshed, the pain, and the start of a new yet horrible Empire, one good thing had happened. I had managed to give birth to Anakin's twins. Although nobody knew these little ones existed; they would someday.
Now that I was one with force; I could hear everything. I heard screams of agony, evil laughter, sighs, sobs, and a raspy breathing that had never been heard before. But here, all was silent. My children slept. They were the best thing that the galaxy could have wished for. A New Hope.