Ryan had grown up as the only child in an upper middle class family. His father had been a high-powered attorney in Philadelphia, representing everyone from politicians to major corporations. His mother had been a socialite who spent her days lunching with the girls at the club and heading up one charity fundraiser or another. A good majority of his childhood had been spent with his nanny playing in the park. He had never really had much in the way of family, something that had always been drastically different from Kelly. While she talked to her sisters every night on the phone and asked her parents before she made any significant choices, Ryan barely spoke to his on major holidays.

Perhaps that was why he had never fully grown comfortable with how much Kelly seemed to care about him. In addition to the overwhelming need to escape he felt every time she talked about the future, Ryan had also been afraid that Kelly was right. She had wanted a life with him right away, marriage, kids, a home, all of it. She had stood up to her parents and turned down the chance to be married to one of the country's foremost surgeons just to stay with him. He had just been a business school student at that point and had less than two months under his belt as an official salesman. He hadn't made any sales, and his biggest goals were to go to Tahiti and buy an X-Box. Still, despite all that, Kelly had believed that he was the one she was supposed to be with. Whenever he asked her how she could be so sure, she had smiled at him as if he were the stupidest boy on earth and replied, "Sometimes, Ry, you just have to faith faith."

Faith was just one of the many things Ryan had struggled with throughout his life. It was hard to believe in much of anything when all you had ever known was a father who was never around and a mother who was bitter about it. It felt like his parents sometimes held it against him that he was even born. Ryan knew that it he was far too old to blame his decisions and mistakes on his parents, but it was hard to deny that his childhood hadn't messed him up. They knew it and he knew it. Maybe that's why they were trying to hard now. Maybe they had finally seen just how bad he was and how much he needed their help.

It was help that he was looking for that first night back in Scranton when he had sat alone on the couch in the basement, starting up at the ceiling and praying for someone to help him get through this. He wasn't sure what higher power he was praying to, but he had to believe that there was something up there. How else could he explain the fact that he was still alive after everything he had put his body through. He could think of at least three times he should have died while he was strung out, but someone had always been there to pull him back from the edge. There had to be something else bigger than him running things. It was the only way he could have survived this without completely losing his mind. It was that very realization that helped him come to terms with the next step he needed to take on his road back.

I came to believe that a Power greater than myself could restore me to sanity.

Ryan had a long way to go before he was going to be what he would call sane. All he could do was pray that his higher power would be there to guide him in this. He knew that he couldn't do it alone, and so he started to pray for an angel. With his bright azure eyes squeezed tightly shut, he had asked for a savior over and over again. It became almost a trance after awhile as he repeated the words, at first in his head and then aloud. "Please come, I need you. Please come, I need you."

And just like that, his prayers were answered. He felt a weight on the end of the couch as his eyes slid open to see her beautiful smile looking down on him. He was up in an instant, pulling her into his arms. She was the best thing he had seen in the last thirty days, if not his entire life. "I'm right here, Ryan," she murmured as he hugged her tightly. "I promised that I woulds be here. I told you that I would come whenever you needed me."

"Yeah, you did," he sighed happily, starting the process of thanking his higher power all over again. He had been sent his angel in the form of a very curvaceous and bubbly Indian girl with a passion for pop culture and Ryan Howard. "I'm so glad you're here."

"I'm glad you are here," she told him proudly. Kelly had wanted to be there at the airport, but Ryan's mom had insisted that his parents pick him up. They were reluctant to let their son be around too many of his old friends. All the doctors had said that going back to his old environments would only make the temptation that much greater. However, they had all agreed that Kelly was the only exception. She seemed to help Ryan now more than hinder him. "You look good, Ryan, really good."

Ryan blushed uncharacteristically from her compliment as they settled back onto the couch. He hadn't had a girl in the basement for at least a decade when he'd invited his girlfriend over to watch Dawson's Creek junior year. He briefly wondered if he would have dated Kelly in high school. She had been a cheerleader and voted homecoming queen. He had played tennis and ran the business club. She probably would have been the one turning him down in those days. She should still be turning him down now.

"Kel, I want to thank you for coming down to Florida that night. If you hadn't come, I honestly don't know what I would have done," he confessed. "My life was at its absolute lowest point, and I just want you to know how much I appreciate you being there for me."

"You would have done the same for me," she shrugged. They both knew that he wouldn't have, especially then. He would have likely ignored her call and deleted her voicemails without listening. He still did have a few of the emails that she had sent him in New York, though. Okay, and maybe there were a couple of voicemails too and that one text message. "And just so you know, no one knows what really happened. As far as everyone at the office knows, you are still in Thailand. I didn't tell anyone, not even my sisters."

He appreciated that she had kept his secret without him having to ask, especially since he knew how hard it was for her not to confide everything in Rupa, Neepa and Tiffany. "So, um, we have these meetings that we are supposed to invite our families to go to. It's called Nar-Anon," he started to explain. They had encouraged his parents to join, and Ryan thought that Kelly might like to go, too. It had to be hard for her, and everyone could use a little support. If he had learned anything from all of this it was that it was okay to ask for help. "I was thinking that maybe you would want to go."

Kelly had actually read the fliers that the facility had given her the day she had taken him to rehab, but she had never told him about the meetings she had been going to back home in Scranton. They met in a church basement across town from her apartment every Thursday evening. While she typically would have been home watching Grey's Anatomy and polishing her toenails, Kelly had been meeting people that were struggling with the same things that she was. One thing she had learned from all of those sessions was that honesty was important. "Yeah, I've been going to them for awhile."

"Oh, well, good," he said shortly. Kelly smiled at him kindly before reaching over and squeezing his hand. "I'm glad that you didn't have to go through this alone."

She rested her head on his shoulder as he flipped on the television and turned it automatically to some reality TV show he knew that she liked. They were both quiet for a few minutes as two of the contestants argued over something inane, much like the fights he used to coax Kelly into in the annex just so that he could makeup with her later. The old Ryan had had to play games to get what he wanted. The new one had to believe that his high power would provide it for him. It was hard to put your fate in someone else's hands, but he could see where his own decision-making abilities had gotten him.

Kelly reached for the remote and put the television on mute. "I've really missed you, Ryan."

"I've missed you, too."

"Not just this last month, but for the past year when you lost who you were completely," she told him. "You were such a douche when you were in New York, with your stupid fancy beard and ridiculous clothes and made-up stories. I wanted to hate you. I wanted to forget you. I guess that's why I went after Darryl. He was the antithesis of you. However, even when you were being a huge tool and I was with Darryl, I never stopped caring about you. That's how I knew."

"You knew what?"

"Duh, Ryan," she rolled her eyes. "That I'm always going to love you." He felt that familiar sense of panic rush through his veins before he forced himself to calm down. "But don't worry, we're totally not ready to be together. I mean, yeah, you're hot and all, but you're also all kinds of crazy right now. You have some major issues to work out before you can get with this."

He laughed at her then, enjoying how even when they were talking about something so serious, she was still so completely her. "Yeah, I do," he agreed. "But I like knowing that you're going to be there waiting for me when I get through."

"Of course I will," she assured him as she looped her arm through his. It wasn't a romantic gesture in the slightest but one filled with the comfort that comes only after knowing someone really well for a long time. Kelly knew Ryan better than he knew himself. She had been able to believe in him when there wasn't much to believe. "Maybe I could even go to one of your meetings with you."

The doctors had suggested that Ryan take someone that he loved to a meeting at least once, just so that they could see what he went through. He had thought about taking his mom at first, but she always seemed to have a last-minute appointment come up whenever he told her that he needed to talk. Even now, when she would drive him to the paltry job he'd found at the bowling alley, she would keep National Public Radio turned up loud enough that they couldn't talk. She wouldn't want to go to a meeting with him anymore than he would really want her there, and his father definitely wasn't an option. Truly, Kelly had always been the really the only option.

"Yeah, I think I'd like that."

"Good," she smiled as the show came back on and she returned her attention to the television screen.

It had taken him thirty days to take just two steps, to admit that he had a problem and that he couldn't do this on his own. He had come to terms with his faith, though he still wasn't entirely sure what that meant. He had forgiven his parents and himself for their past transgressions. He had accepted help from Kelly when she had offered it and even asked her to help him return. It might have been baby steps for anyone else, but it was a giant leap for a guy of Ryan's kind.