Elspeth put Darkwind to bed after helping him get dry. He was asleep before she even covered him up. Vree was perched on the headboard—the old bird was still shivering with reaction. When Talia had struck Darkwind with her Gift, Vree had fled to the rafters. Only coming down after repeated coaxing.

She walked back out into her sitting room, leaving the door half open. She sat down next to Neave on the couch. Kero and Eldan were leaning against each on the window seat. "What I don't understand," said Eldan slowly "Is what made Talia lose control of her Gift Like that?"

Neave stirred, "What makes you think she lost control?" he said softly.

"What else could it be?" asked Eldan

Neave looked at the floor.

Elspeth took deep breath, "She was back in Ancar's cell. She was trapped in her nightmare and Rolan couldn't reach her. She thought that Darkwind was one of Ancar's mages." Elspeth's voice shook, "Sh-she did to him what she'd wanted to do to them, but couldn't. She turned it all on him."

"How do you know that?" asked Eldan

Elspeth leaned over and put her head in her hands, remembering those days from the beginning of the war with Ancar. Neave put his arm around her shoulder again. "Eldan, you were on the border with Selenay," said Neave, "And you remember how Elspeth was sent back to look after things here?"

"Yes."

"You know how badly off Talia was—she needed someone with her all the time." Neave continued "With so many healers away, they had some of the Trainees take it turn and about to look after her. I'd just come home from my internship so I was pressed into 'Talia watch' as well"

"I'm not sure I've heard this story before." said Kerowyn "I knew she was bad, but I never wanted to ask."

Elspeth hated the remembering, "She couldn't walk, they'd completely crushed her feet." she said lifting her head, "She had more bones broken than anyone had a right to have and live. The healers said that her internal injuries were...bad." Elspeth swallowed, "They weren't sure she'd ever be able to bear children."

"Ah." said Kerowyn said, understanding.

Neave sighed, "Elspeth and I were looking after her one night. The healers said that it would be better if people she knew well were with her at night." Kerowyn looked at him quizzically "She was a year ahead of me in the Collegium." Neave answered her unspoken question

"Where was Dirk during this time?" Asked Kerowyn

Neave sighed, "Skif took him home to see his family. Talia needed some time. The mind healers thought it would help. They'd only just discovered their lifebond—they were both fragile."

"Anyway," Neave went on "We were watching her one night and she had that same nightmare. She thought she was being attacked. Struck at us. Rolan woke her up and our own Companions pulled us out. She never realized what she'd done and I didn't like to tell her"

The way Neave told it was so simple, thought Elspeth, leaving what happened between them out of it.

"Some of the Skybolts have nightmares like that." said Kero "Its more complicated with the Gifted, I guess."

There was a knock at the door, "Come in" called Elspeth. Selenay opened the door, and stood there looking a little lost, "Mother!" Elspeth jumped up and ran to her. Selenay was as white as her Companion. "Has something else happened?"

"No." Selenay put her arms around her oldest child and hugged her hard, "I was out in the Field when it...happened."

"Yes," said Elspeth "Gwena told me. She said you were going to talk to the healers"

"I did" Selenay took the place on the couch Neave offered her. He grabbed the desk chair and pulled it over for himself. Elspeth sat down next to Selenay.

"They said she had some kind of brainstorm, but thats all they could tell me. They were calling in some specialized healers from the Collegium." Selenay told them. "Devan is still with her, but he says he'd like to talk whoever witnessed her fit when he's finished"

"Well, we're here," said Elspeth

"How are they coping with the, ah, arrangements?" asked Eldan

Selenay smiled a little "Oh, it put their Greens in a twist. The younger healers were going on about having to Heal in a stable—when they thought I couldn't hear, of course. Devan agreed to it and he's got charge of her case so there wasn't much problem."

Elspeth leaned her head against Selenay. Everyone was quiet for a long time, wrapped in their own thoughts. Elspeth reached out to Gwena :Can you tell what's happening?:

:No: Gwena replied, :But Sayvil's gone to help Rolan. :

"I'm very glad this happened now, while the trainees are away." said Elspeth after another long silence. Everyone else made murmurs of assent.

The morning wore into afternoon. Elspeth's maid came to see if they wanted any food at luncheon. She'd been crying too, Elspeth noted. "Mardi," said Elspeth to the older woman, suddenly feeling very affectionate towards her "Do you remember the first time you met Herald Talia?"

"Yes, milady Herald."

"You swatted me with a hair brush." Elspeth held her hand out to Mardi, who took it. "I don't think I ever thanked you for that."

Mardi smiled crookedly, "You're welcome, milady"

"Would you bring us something cold? And some wine, if you please?"

The wine and food was brought and cups were filled. No one spoke very much that long afternoon. They picked at the food, but more for something to do than out of hunger.

Just before dinnertime, Darkwind emerged from the bedroom with Vree hidden in his hair. "Any news?" he asked. He sat on the floor next to Elspeth and put his head against her knee. Vree he coaxed out of his hair onto his lap.

They shook their heads as one. Selenay had been sitting staring out the window for the last hour, "I've always blamed myself for...what happened." she said softly.

Elspeth opened her mouth to disagree, but Neave beat her to it, "So have I." he said.

'How do you figure that?" asked Eldan,

"I'm from Hardorn, remember? I was Chosen two years after Ancar came of age. And the stories about his escapades even before he came of age were pretty dire."

"Oh, but Neave," said Selenay, "It was just rumors then."

"No, Highness. Not to me, they weren't." he rasped. He stood up as though he couldn't bear to keep still anymore. He turned away from the group, "Before I was Chosen, I was raised in a brothel half a day from the border by horse. Ancar and his cronies didn't want his antics to get back to Alessandar, so they must have visited every cathouse on the border that first year. When he got done with the girls, they usually weren't pretty. And some of his crew had a taste for boys."

Selenay gaped, Eldan and Kerowyn winced. Elspeth couldn't see Darkwind's face, but heard a small intake of breath. Neave continued without turning around. "When you announced that you were considering Ancar's suit, I thought of coming to the Dean with what I'd heard and seen. But I told myself that Elspeth was highborn and that made it different. I have regretted it ever since."

Elspeth knew all of this. He'd told her this when she'd been struggling with her own guilt.

"But, the truth is, the blame lies solely with Ancar. And I believe that Talia will tell you that herself." He walked to the sideboard to refill his wine glass, "I don't think any of us came out of that war without scars."

Someone knocked, Elspeth jumped up to answer it. She opened the door to a young woman in Healer's Greens. "Herald Elspeth? Healer Devan said the Queen would be waiting with you."

Selenay stood, smoothing her skirts "I'm here." she had put on her serene "audience chamber face" by the time she reached the door. "Do you have a message from Devan?"

"Yes, Highness" the healer bobbed a nervous little curtsy towards her "Herald Talia is awake and asking for you and Herald Elspeth. "

"She's talking?" asked Elspeth, her stomach gave a nervous lurch

"Yes, Herald. Devan said that Her Highness and you should both come and see her now."

"Is she...is she -- all right?"

"I haven't seen her myself, Herald."

Elspeth turned towards Darkwind, he was still sitting down next to the couch :I'll be fine bright feather. You go and let us know how she is: