We are all insane in our own way, of course some are crazier than others. Insanity is just a word used to describe a relatively permanent disorder of the mind. So, when does our own insanity become an illness of the mind? When do we need to tackle it down with a good therapist and support? The question "when?" is the question of the year. But, he was fine. He didn't have any problems. Yes, he admitted he had some problems with his sleeping patterns, but who didn't! Everyone has their own nightmares... albeit those probably didn't force a panic attack to rise from the deepest parts of his mind. He was fine. He had work to do... piles of it in front of his desk. He shouldn't be thinking about anything else but work. Work. Work. Work.
Beep beep beep
Owen heard a beeping sound coming from somewhere under the shitloads of paperwork on his desk. He gently, but hurriedly, brushed apart the papers until he found his pager. He grabbed it and ran to the ER.
"Male, 46. Several gunshot wounds to the chest and left arm." Said one of the paramedics while pushing the gurney. "He crashed once on the ambulance but he is stable" as if on cue his heart monitor started beeping like crazy.
"He is V-FIB!" He grabbed the paddles a nurse was offering "charge 250... clear!" After a while his monitor went back to normal. The nurses pulled him into a room where Jo was waiting for them. They wheeled the patient inside where Jo began counting the bullet wounds. They held the patient on his side to keep track of the exit wounds of the bullets on his chest.
"There's no exit wound to the chest, just the arm" called Jo prodding the skin around the bullet's exit wound "looks like a clean exit"
"Get an X-ray in here!" Yelled Owen, a nurse gave him a metal plate to place under the patient while taking the scan. He stopped the bleeding partially with Jo's help and yelled to a nurse "Ok let's get an OR"
"Right away Chief" Owen and Jo started running with the gurney to an elevator.
"Chief I think the bullet is lodged near the heart"
"You think or you know Willson?" Snapped Owen.
"I ah I know it's near the heart" Owen nodded.
"Page cardio and get me those scans quickly, you're scrubbing in Willson." The elevator came to a stop and Owen and Jo ran to the scrub room.
It turned out it almost hit the heart but the heart wasn't really affected at all, so cardio just left as fast as they came.
"Have you ever taken a man's bullet outside of his chest Willson?" Owen looked at Willson. She new whatever she said next was important.
"No sir, but I'd like to do it" ok she could have said something better. She relaxed when Owen smiled.
"Well you are about to" he took out his hands and set his instruments on a tray.
"It's right by the heart!" Owen yelled while cracking open a chest that belonged to a young private. He was not in a OR but at a makeshift ER outside a plundered medical base with 2 ORs barely standing. "Someone get me Teddy!" He yelled at a nurse that was on fetch duty
"She is in surgery Major Hunt" a nurse who was helping him answered hurriedly.
"Damn it... I'll do it then. Is there an OR?" The nurse shook her head "he can't wait any longer, scalpel" he opened his chest and cut his flesh until he found the bullet poking the heart, literally holding the heart together. He didn't take it out because the bullet fell deeper into the heart, rupturing the walls and killed the man.
Owen woke up panting and breathing rapidly to steady his heart rate. He took a swig from his mug and relaxed after a while. He was in his desk, working, he should keep working. Work means no sleep. No sleep is good.
Meredith was walking slowly through the halls when someone pulled her inside an on-call room. She was about to slap the person when she realized it was actually Derek.
"Derek! Why are we here?" There was a time where they didn't have to ask each other why he had pulled her into an on-call room. She tried no to show the sadness that her thoughts just caused her and tried to keep a stern look.
"I just wanted to talk" Meredith glared and tried to get out of the room, Derek held her arm gently and turned her towards his body. "Please Meredith" she stared deep into his blue eyes and nodded slowly.
"This is exhausting" she murmured while looking down, Derek brushed her cheek lightly and held her chin to make her look at him.
"I know... and your eyes are doing that sparkly thing" he smiled slightly.
"It's not my fault that my eyes have a certain shine in them" she smiled back.
"What if I left for a moment to try to convince them of letting me stay here?" Derek cupped her cheek and looked at her with sad eyes.
"They won't like it... and the chances of you staying there after you go are" Derek placed a finger on her lips.
"They either let me keep it all here or there'll be no Derek Shepherd for them... I've always wanted to do that" he removed his finger from her lips.
"Do what?" She asked a bit confused. Had he always wanted to tell someone to let him do whatever they want or what?
"Shush you with my finger" Meredith couldn't help but giggle, he smiled at having her laugh again. Meredith sneaked her arms around his waist.
"I feel like I'm keeping you back" she whispered with her face resting on his shoulder.
"There's nothing else I'd like to do but be here with you" he hugged her back.
"Well now that that's settled we could use this on-call room" she started kissing his neck gently.
"I like how you think" he picked her up and kissed her with passion. He walked until they were with her back against the wall and her legs wrapped around his waist.
"April what do we have here?" Owen entered the Pit and saw Kepner patching up a man with several cuts in Trauma Room 2.
"Man vs chainsaw accident, I'm guessing 4 cracked ribs" an intern came near them "get me an x-ray scanner... he could have inner bleeding"
"Good job Dr. Kepner" they took the scans "well only the spleen was damaged, let's take him upstairs."
"Excuse me Dr. Hunt... but aren't you supposed to be home resting"
"Yeah but the pit is busy" he unlocked the wheels and started to push the gurney to the elevator.
"But Dr. Hunt..." She couldn't finish her sentence because Owen gave her the kind of look that clearly tells you to back off and mind your own business.
"I can sleep here if needed Kepner" Owen snapped at April. He pushed the gurney without help towards the elevator. Kepner stood there in shock after actually remembering to run after him before he gets in the elevator.
They found wood splinters inside the man's chest and had to take out every single splinter and clean everything else. They had spent one hour of doing just that after removing his spleen. Owen suddenly yawned slowly and took his hands out of the man's chest. Nothing bad happened, so April decided not to stress herself about it. Stress was not good for the baby. Owen yawned again and kept working this time.
"When was the last time you slept?" Asked April carefully.
"This afternoon" answered Owen with a cold stare.
"Glare at me all you want" April glared at him for a moment before returning to taking out splinters "but you look like you haven't slept well in a week"
"Dr. Kepner" Owen raised his voice "your job is to worry about the patient in this table, whose wife is worried sick about him. This patient needs a doctor that is focused on him and not on another doctor's wellness" while he barked at her, he didn't look at her in the eye.
April had the urge to drop everything and slam the door on the way out, but she knew better. He needed help and she was going to give it to him.
"I'm sorry for shouting... I'll go home after this"
April did not respond, she just nodded. She was feeling angry and needed to show it somehow, so she didn't speak to him for 1 more hour and basically fled the scrub room after he entered trying to speak with her.
He did go home, well it wasn't his home it was Derek's trailer but still. He took off all his clothes and laid in the bed in boxers and a shirt. He couldn't help but try to stay awake, but Kepner was right he did need sleep. He was so tired that he drifted off fairly quickly.
As expected he woke up feeling worse than when he fell asleep after a nightmare where he was somehow operating on himself. He couldn't remember much thanks God, but it still bothered him that he saw himself on the OR table. He laid on his bed for a couple of seconds, just looking at the ceiling and trying to keep his mind blank. But thinking about not thinking is thinking and somewhere on his train of thought he decided to take a shower and go to the hospital. He went right to the Pit and spent most of the day either on the trauma rooms or in the OR, by 7 pm he decided to crash in an on call room.
Meredith choose that moment to find an on-call room to her charts, she would finish them and pick up the kids from the daycare and go home to feed Bailey and clean the bottles. She would make Zola take a bath and try to read a couple of medical journals she had since last month. She would read Zola a story by herself because Derek had a surgery and would be home at 1 am. She was going to start her breast pumps (both at the same time) and then... wait who is sleeping there? Is that Owen? Yup Owen. Meredith decided to wake up and make him go home (trailer) for the night. She left her charts on one of the empty beds and gently touched Owen's arm.
"Owen wake up" she nudged him lightly, barely noticeable but enough to startle Owen. He woke up with a start and grabbed her wrist in a strong grip. "Owen let me go" Meredith suddenly realized how stupid she was by waking him up physically. "Owen!"
He suddenly realized that he was holding Meredith's wrist and let go.
"I'm sorry I ah I" He started looking for words to tell that he was having nightmares again, that his PTSD had gotten worse lately but instead he looked at the red imprint of his fingers in her wrist "I'm so sorry Meredith"
"It's not OK Owen" Meredith said with an angry tone, he looked at her with pained eyes and he felt his own blood leave his body. "It's not, it hasn't been ok since she left usn Owen" Meredith saw him become suddenly angry and she knew that she had hit the right button.
"This is not about her" he said each word carefully and stood up slowly not really trying to intimidate her. He looked down and her and pointed a finger at her. "This is not about her Meredith"
"No? Then what is it about?" He shook his head in disbelief and grabbed his white coat and tie from the hanger. "You basically work every single day with no sleep and when you do sleep it's here or in your office. I heard from the nurses how April forced you to go home and you snapped at her."
"Meredith this isn't your place to..."
"You were my person's person, it is my place Owen. She made me promise not to let you go all dark at twisty while she was gone."
"Meredith I" he tried to speak again but she just wouldn't let him.
"No Owen" she held her hand to stop him from speaking again "I promised her and I will drag you myself to therapy if needed"
"I don't need therapy!" He raised his voice almost to a shout, it was just the tone he used to bark orders at the nurses down in the ER. He placed his tie around his neck and stormed out of the room leaving a stunned Meredith behind.
(edited version)
Since its summer and I literally have nothing to do I will post next chapter on Friday.
P.S. I love reviews