I sat in the darkness wishing it would consume me. Wanting it to consume me. Wishing it were Kryptonite. Wishing for once I could just give in and be overcome. It wasn't worth it anymore. She was gone. The darkness was all consuming. But it wasn't enough. It wasn't enough to overtake me. It wasn't enough to pull me down into the depths of hell. I wanted it to be. Because what was this world going to be like without her. I had known her for six years. Six beautiful years, and now she was gone. My world was empty, black and dark.

But the only reason I couldn't and haven't given up was because of them. They were the only reason I was even still on this planet. They had connection here and I couldn't just leave. She was their mother and I was their father. They were the one good thing that came from our love. NO. Everything good came from our love, they were just the one thing that we had to show that came from our love. They were the one thing that we had to show that said we were in love that we were together and that love between an Earth woman and an alien man could exist. They were our legacy.

I looked down into the cribs as they slept. Their mother's funeral was today and as much as I thought we should all stay home, I knew we all had to go. I wouldn't deprive them from saying goodbye to the woman who carried them for nine months. I wouldn't deprive them from being there with the woman who gave her life just so they could live. We didn't know having them would kill her and she wouldn't have decided against it even if we had known. Once we decided we wanted children, there was no changing her mind. We were set on having children, and there was no changing her mind.

But she was gone now because we had made that decision and we were alone because of it. I heard the clock chime from downtown, signaling it was eleven o'clock. Mom and Dad were down the hall finishing getting ready themselves. I had been ready hours ago. Or rather, I had been dressed hours ago. I would never be ready for this. This was my wife. We would be burying her in the ground forever. I would have to live with her being buried in the ground forever. We knew that this is how it would be, but we always thought that it would be years down the line, not after we had only known each other six years. It wasn't fair. It wasn't fair at all.

I leaned over, picking up my gorgeous sleeping son into my arms, holding him close against me, followed by picking up my beautiful sleeping daughter. They would never know their mother. She would never get to hold them. They would never get to look up into her loving brown eyes. They wouldn't get to experience any of the wonderful times that I got to experience just getting to know Lois the short time that I got to know her. She was the love of my life, the love of my existence, and I was laying her to rest today, her children were laying their mother to rest, and we were saying goodbye to the only woman who made our lives what they were.

And it is what they were. Our lives will never be the same. It's not as though I will ever wake up again and see that happy, smiling face looking back at me. Then again, it's not as though I ever need to wake up again. It's not as though I need to sleep. I don't have to sleep. I don't ever have to sleep again. Sleep is not something my body needs. Without sleeping, I should be able to protect the world a whole lot more, but then again, I do have to twins to think about. That's where Mom and Dad come in. They both have decided they'd move into the city to help me take care of them. Even with them in the city, I didn't know if that's what I wanted them to be doing.

They were both getting up in their age and they needed looking after themselves. So I suggested they move in with me. Neither one of them thought it was a very good idea, but I insisted, and they both agreed. Plus, they knew that they could let their foreman work the farm. Dad really couldn't do it by himself much longer, that's why they had hired Hank in the first place. They had decided to let him move into the farmhouse as more payment. He and his family would take care of the farm and the house, and Mom and Dad had nothing to worry about.

I walked into the funeral home, greeting the director with a simple nod. I wasn't letting the twins out of my arms the entire time we were here. I knew Mom and Dad would insist that when I had to talk about Lois in front of everyone I'd give them over to them, but that wasn't going to happen. I wasn't going to let go of my children for the life of me. I held them close to me, kissing the top of each of their heads as the director of the funeral home led me into the room where Lois' casket was set up at the far end of the room where chairs were set up in rows for people to sit during the funeral.

I had decided to keep it small, having the funeral here as opposed to a church, because I wasn't going to let members of the other press in. There would just be Perry and Jimmy and a few others from the Planet. There was no way I was going to have my wife's funeral become a news story. She wrote the news. She had been in the news enough during the last six years because of me, I wasn't going to have them drag her name along after she was dead. She was going to rest in peace. She didn't need to be in the newspapers anymore than her obituary.

But I'd never see her name in the newspaper again, next to mine. I would no longer have a double byline. Lois Lane and Clark Kent, Daily Planet. We were the hottest team in Metropolis for years running. We wrote well together, we did our job well and we were in love. We had a passion for everything we did, especially each other. And now I was having to lay that passion to rest with my wife. I would never feel that sizzle with her ever again. I had to bury it in the ground with my wife, the woman I loved with all my heart.

I stood above her casket, taking a deep breath. I knew once I saw her, the tears would come again and I wouldn't be able to stop them. Mom came up quickly behind me, wrapping her arm around my back. "Honey, why don't you come sit down?" I shook my head, inhaling deeply. "I'm fine, Mom." She looked down at Lois as she stood beside me. I knew she still couldn't believe Lois was gone. I couldn't believe she was gone, but the truth was staring us both right back in the face. Dad came up on my other side. "Let us take the twins, son," he said, looking down at Lois as well. I shoo my head again, holding my children closer to me. "No. You two can sit down. I just want a moment alone with my wife." They looked at each other in front of me before nodding and both patting my back. "Ok, Clark," Mom said, taking Dad's hand. We'll be right here if you need us."

I nodded my head as they walked away from me, not taking my eyes away from Lois. I took in a shaky breath, letting it out slowly. "You're beautiful, Lois. You're always beautiful. Death could not take that away from you. We miss you," I whispered, kissing the tops of each of my children's heads. "I don't know how we're going to go on without you. Mom and Dad have moved in, but they're not you. I can't hold you in my arms. You can't hold the twins like they need you to." I took a deep breath, calming myself down, determined not to break down.

"We love you, Lois, and we will never stop. That love we have will never fade." I felt a hand come down on my shoulder, clapping it tightly. It wasn't as tight as I was used to his grasp being, and I knew it wasn't just because we were losing Lois. Perry's health had been declining over the past year, something both Lois and I had worried about daily. He wouldn't slow down either, no matter how much Lois and I begged him to. Alice tried her best, but she kept telling us that he needed the Planet. I was sure sometimes she still felt the way she had years ago that the Planet was more important to him than she was, but I could tell that she loved him, even more than she did back then. When he got sick, she swore to Lois and myself, even though she didn't need to, she would take care of him. I guess it was because we had told her we were there for the two of them no matter what they needed.

"She looks beautiful, Clark," Perry said, his voice nowhere near as strong as it used to be. I took a deep breath again, nodding. "I was just telling her that, chief." He took a deep breath beside me, looking down at the twins. "How are you holding up, son?" I closed my eyes, swallowing hard. "This is hard, Perry," I said, opening my eyes to look over at him slightly. "This is the hardest thing I've ever had to go through." Perry hugged my shoulders a little tighter in his weakened state closer to him. "I know how strong you are, my boy. I know the things you go through on a daily basis," he said, referring to my other job, something he'd known about for a little over two years now, "but I know this will be by far the hardest thing you will ever have to deal with. I just want you to know, you have Alice and me. I know you've got your parents. And Jimmy and Hannah." I nodded.

Hannah was Jimmy's fiancée, a girl who works at the Planet on the Copy Desk. They'd been together for about two years now and he had just asked her to marry him a few months ago. Lois had been so shocked. She thought he would be a confirmed bachelor his whole life, but she loved Hannah. She fit in with all of us very well and we accepted her as part of our Planet family. She had spent a lot of time with Lois picking out baby stuff and shopping with her. Lois even went with her to do some of her wedding planning. They got along really well, almost like sisters at times.

"I know," I said softly, looking around to see others entering. I had to let them say their goodbyes to my wife as well. As much as I would prefer to stand here in front of her coffin all day long, I knew others loved her as well. Taking a step back, Perry walked with me to sit down by my parents and Alice. "Would you like me to hold one of them for you, honey?" Alice asked me and I only shook my head. No longer looking at Lois, I kept my gaze on my twins in my arms. I had to keep it together if for no one but them.

Once everyone had arrived and said their last goodbyes to Lois, the funeral director stood to say a few words before turning the time over to me. I refused my mom's and Alice's offers to hold the twins again as I stood up in front of Lois' and my family and friends. I looked out over all of them. Jimmy and Hannah were sitting beside Perry and Alice and I was glad they were here with us. Lois' parents were there, as was her sister and her sister's husband. The day Lucy told Lois she got married, in Vegas of all places, Lois about flipped, but we all really liked the man she married, and they stayed married, unlike some Vegas weddings.

I looked down at the sleeping twins in my arms and over at Lois, breathing shakily. Closing my eyes, I gathered my thoughts before turning back to look out over everyone. "Lois was my best friend. She was my partner, but above all that, she was the love of my life. She brought something to my life no other woman could, something no one else could. She was the most vivacious woman I knew. She was always getting herself into trouble, always knowing that I would get her out of it. Even if I told her no, she'd never listen." I laughed, taking a deep breath.

"Lois was everything to me. I'm sure few of you would ever believe that Lois and I didn't always get along." I smiled, remembering the day we met. Perry had paired us together and it had her fuming mad. "Let's get one thing straight. You are low man," she had said as we approached the elevators, "I am top banana, and that's the way I like it. Comprende?" We walked into the elevators and I had tried my best not to laugh. "You like to be on top. Got it!" She turned to glare at me. "Don't push me, Smallville." I'd never cease to remember that day. I knew I was in love with her from the moment I saw her and Perry introduced us.

Now she was gone and here I was giving a eulogy at her funeral. I never thought this day would come. I knew I'd go home and expect to have Lois there waiting for me, but she wouldn't be there. She'd be six feet under and I'd never see her perfect face ever again. I looked over at her one more time before finishing my thoughts I was sharing with everyone. "I love you, Lois. I loved you the day we met and I'll love you even after I die." Taking a deep breath, I turned back out to look at everyone, nodding and taking my seatback next to my mom and Alice.

I had finally let them take the twins when we arrived at the cemetery. When they lowered Lois' body down into the ground, I fell to my knees. Jimmy, being the youngest of everyone we were with, knelt beside me, holding me in his arms as I cried, wishing I could bring her back. But there was nothing I could do for her. I couldn't have saved her when she died and there was nothing I could do now. She was gone.