A Lost Cause chapter two
Okay, so I understand that in the last chapter Levi was a little out of character. But no more! I'm going to give him the emotion and personality of how he is in the English dub. To be honest, Levi in the Japanese version kinda scares me because he's almost just completely deadpan. So… enjoy!
And btw this story is going to have a lot of content in Levi's POV and a lot of flashbacks to when you were a cadet. Just a heads up. Happy reading!
Levi just stood there. With a blank expression on his face and no emotion in his grey eyes. It was scaring you a little. Was he mad at you? He shouldn't be. It's not necessarily your fault.
"Uh… Levi?" You asked him quietly. He was silent. Not even looking at you. You were nervous.
"Levi. Hey. Talk to me." You said, snapping in his face. He stood up and sighed.
"I need a minute." He said, and walked out of the room.
You have got to be kidding me… You thought. You didn't want him to be pissed off. Because first of all, you were a little happy that you were pregnant. You thought that it wasn't wrong to have a child, even though it was going to be a little difficult since you both were important people in the Survey Corps, but you could make it work somehow… right? And second, it wasn't your fault.
Levi's POV
I walked out of the infirmary, leaving (y/n) there. I couldn't believe that she was pregnant. I didn't want her to be pregnant. We barely even have enough time to ourselves. How could we have time to raise a child? If we were in any other situation, I would be ecstatic. I wouldn't show it of course, but that doesn't mean that I'm not. But we are in the Scout Regiment. One or both of us could die at any point in time. Then the child will have no family. I don't want that. Especially since I had to deal with it.
As I was walking in the hallway back towards my office, Hange was walking my way.
No. Do not talk to me. Do not think about talking to me. Do not even look at me. I thought. I did not want to talk to her. Especially not now. I had my own matters to deal with.
"Hey Levi!" She said quite loudly.
Great. Just great.
"How's (y/n) doing? She took a pretty bad fall." Hange said.
She didn't fall. You weren't even with my squad. Stop talking.
"She's fine." I said. More like mumbled.
"Hmm… You don't seem too upset about that…." She said condescendingly. That pissed me off. Of course I was upset, but I said that she was fine. I clenched my fists and fought back the urge to connect my hand to her face.
"She is fine Hange. Why would I worry if she's fine." I said in a deadpan tone. She was really starting to make me mad. She raised her hands in defense.
"Sorry, I'm just saying." She said. I rolled my eyes as I was unlocking my office door.
"Tch." She walked into the infirmary to see (y/n), leaving me alone in the hallway. I breathed out a heavy sigh that I was unaware that I was keeping in as she left.
I walked into the office, and opened the curtains. The sunrays beamed through the window, leaving a very visible trail of dust particles. I made a face of disgust.
"Great." I mumbled. I closed the curtains, feeling unusually unmotivated to clean the filthiness of the room. I sat down at my desk, and just stared at it, not even thinking about anything. I didn't even know why I was so upset. I wasn't really mad at (y/n) for being pregnant, as it wasn't necessarily her fault. I actually had no idea. I stared at my desk, thinking of nothing in particular. I didn't even know why I was so upset. With gritted teeth, I rubbed my temples, trying to soothe the impending headache.
I remember that (y/n) used to get a lot of headaches… I thought.
(Flashback)
I was watching the rookies that had just joined the Scout Regiment train. They were training for a test that Commander Erwin had given to basically see everything they know, strong points and weak points, and all that.
'I really do not want to watch these brats. I'll be damned if I don't end up vomiting due to watching these idiots and their horrid skills.' I thought. I was just getting angrier and angrier by the minute.
Just then, a whole group of kids in their late teens were gliding through the woods on 3DMGs. It wasn't until almost all of them were out of sight that a few actually caught my attention.
"Come on, (y/n)! You can do it!" Someone said. I moved my eyes toward where the voice was coming from.
"She's right, (y/n), you gotta push through the pain!" A male voice added. I turned to face them.
I knew all about (y/n). She was a quiet, yet determined girl, very good cadet, but had a bad tendency of pissing me off on a daily basis. It was almost a little funny. Yelling at her had no effect on her whatsoever, so I made her clean extra. She would say something wrong, I would catch her, I wouldn't get mad, I would just make her clean. But somehow she never learned from it. Sometimes after a long day of cleaning I would walk by her room and hear her yelling. I really pushed her. And I could tell she really didn't like me.
"I know I know, but it just hurts so much!" I heard (y/n) say in a tiny voice, and anyone could tell she had been crying. I looked at her, her eyes were red and puffy, and she was clutching her hand to her head. She was starting to piss me off even more than I already was. I knew it wasn't her fault, but this was her sixth headache in a row and I didn't have time for this. I walked over to her with my eyebrows in an involuntary furrow.
"Come on cadet (l/n)! What the hell is wrong with you? I don't have all day." I snapped at her. "
"Corporal… it's my head…" She complained, hand still on her head, trying her hardest not to cry in front of me. I know that she wasn't faking it, I could see the pain clear as day in her (e/c) orbs.
"Tch." I grabbed her by the wrist and looked into her eyes. The pain in her eyes suddenly mixed with fear, as she tensed up. I sighed and started dragging her to base by the wrist. (y/n) started to panic.
"Uhh.. Corporal…? Where are we going?" She asked, shakiness in her voice. I sighed once more.
"Where do you think? I'm taking you back to the base so you can see a doctor." I said coldly. She looked confused.
"Why?" She asked.
"Don't think I haven't been noticing your headaches. You've been having too many and I don't need a soldier not being able to fight because of something as pathetic as a headache. And I told you. Call me by my first name when we aren't in front of our comrades." I said sternly. She looked nervous.
"Yes Levi…" She said so quietly I could barely hear her.
"Tch."
We made it back to the base and I took her to the infirmary to try to understand what's wrong with her. Turns out she was near sighted, and desperately needed aided vision. I was confused. Nevertheless irritated.
"If your vision was blurry then why the hell didn't you say something in the first place?" I asked in an annoyed tone.
"I don't know.." She said in a small voice. I sighed.
"So are you going to give her a prescription or not?" I asked, wanting to leave. I could tell that (y/n) wanted to leave too. She didn't look too happy.
"Yes, I was just getting to that. Stay here, I'll be back in a few minutes." The doctor told us. Then she left us alone. As soon as she left, (y/n) looked to the ground and crossed her arms. She looked a little sad. I didn't really care, however I acknowledged it.
"How's your head." I asked her more in the form of a statement.
"Alright." She mumbled.
"Tch."
After about ten minutes the doctor finally came back.
"Here you go, (y/n)." She said, holding a pair of black plastic glasses out to her. "Try these on. You should be able to notice a significant difference." (y/n) took the glasses and placed them over her (e/c) eyes. Her eyes widened.
"Whoa." She said. I mentally chuckled to myself.
"Can you see?" She asked.
"Yeah… I can see."
"Not blurry at all?"
"Nope."
"Well good." The doctor said and smiled. I rolled my eyes. About five minutes later, (y/n) and I were walking out of the infirmary, (y/n) wearing the glasses. The doctor had instructed her to wear them all of the time, with the exception of sleeping and showering.
"How's your head now." I stated.
"Better." She said. She started to follow me back outside where the training was taking place.
"Where do you think you're going?" I asked her sternly.
"Uh, back outside to train?" She said, with a little attitude in her voice.
"Watch your tone." I hissed.
"And you're not going back outside to train. You're going to stay inside the base and you're going to clean the mess hall." I said.
"But-" She interjected.
"No." I said simply. "You need to pace yourself with movement today, so we can be sure that your headache doesn't come back. Like I said earlier, I don't need you not being able to fight because of a headache." I said.
She "tched" her tongue, and started to walk in the opposite direction from me.
"What was that?" I asked her. She was not going to survive with this attitude problem of hers.
"Nothing, Corporal." She said. I smirked as I watched her go toward the supply closet for cleaning supplies.
Just then an ecstatic Hange, bursting into my office without even knocking, pulled me out of my flashback.
"Levi did you hear?" She asked with the creepiest smile on her face, ever. I couldn't get madder.
"What the hell do you want, four-eyes? And why the hell are you bursting in here without knocking?!" I asked her, clenching my fists on the table.
"Oh! I almost forgot!" She then exited my room, and knocked on the door before entering again. I let out a frustrated breath and rubbed my temples some more.
"What exactly do you want? Get out and leave me alone." I said, annoyed. She rolled her eyes at me.
"Did you hear the news, Levi?" She asked.
"I think I may have…" I mumbled under my breath. I really didn't want to talk about this at the moment. Especially not with Hange.
"What was that?" She asked. I couldn't put up with this anymore. I needed this madness to end now. I got up from my chair and walked over to Hange. I picked her up by the collar of her shirt and raised her face to see mine. I looked into her eyes and tried to be as intimidating as possible.
"Leave me alone. I do not want to talk to you right now. Now get out." I hissed, pointing at the door. Hange frowned, and walked toward it.
"Well fine, Mr Grumpy." She said, walking out of the door.
I sat back at my desk and sighed.
What the hell am I going to do about this?