Chapter 2: I can't take this anymore!
I was tired of this mess. Now that I think back on it, the whole thing was pure Sherlock through and through. A small part of me always felt that he was capable of it, but as much as I wanted him to stop being dead and come back to me, I just couldn't bear to let myself hope.
I should have known better, after all, he is quite an actor. Apart of me wants to believe that he was not crying crocodile tears before he fell, because I could hear him crying, even though he tried to hide it. I want to believe that that at least was real, out of all the deceptions of that day. I just would not be able to deal with it if his sadness upon leaving me was faked too. I'd rather have the Sherlock of my dreams than one who only pretended to care about me.
"Arrgh! He is UNBELIEVABLE!" I just had to let out my frustration. Maybe when I calm down I can stand to listen to his explanation, but right now, frankly, my emotions are all over the place.
When I first saw him, I was startled because I couldn't tell if I was really awake or if I was still sleeping. Once I realized that I was awake and that Sherlock wasn't a figment of my imagination, I was in shock. Completely. This couldn't be possible and yet it was. At that thought, my shock melted into anger. I was so angry that I couldn't see straight. I barely heard Sherlock's apology. I know he wanted to explain but it was just too much. Too much, too soon.
To be continued...