Mockingjay: In My Eyes

by Kittycat32

In this version of Mockingjay, Kantniss is pulled between Peeta and Gale, and with Peeta kidnapped by the Capitol, there is only little time left. She will go through pain and suffering to get the world to become one of peace, not slaves and suffering.

2. Chapter 2

I go back to my room then, because I feel weak. It's something I hate to feel. When you're the one supporting your family, you never want to feel weak, because if you're weak, your whole family suffers.

When I reach my bedroom, I see my mother and Prim sitting in it, waiting for me. They don't say any words, and neither do I. But there still is something, family connection that fills us all, and we run to each other and hug as a whole family, or as much as we can be whole with one spot missing. I remember my dreams of my father dying in the mines, and for a second I'm glad that I volunteered for the Hunger Games and spared myself and Prim from working in the mines where tunnels collapse, toxic air pockets wait hidden, and the dust of the coal gets into our lungs and slowly kills us.

But something stops my little bubble of happiness. If I hadn't volunteered for the Games and Prim had never been chosen, I wouldn't have led Peeta to his demise of being tortured by the Capitol.

Once again I am sick with the thought of him being whipped and starved while I'm here, on this stupid moving ship with food and showers and helpers and friends.

With that thought, I realize something. I will not rest peacefully until Peeta is safe, back with his family, if they have survived, with me. Is my heart trying to tell me something? Is Peeta truly the one for me? But what about Gale? Again, my head is confused, because this is nothing I've ever had to think about before.

I loosen out of my mother and sister's grasp and sit on the bed overly tired again.

"Can I sleep please?" I ask them, and they leave the room.

Now I have my own thoughts. How am I going to rescue Peeta? I remember Johanna, Cinna, Darius, and Annie. Surely Finnick would come with me to save Annie. What about Gale? If I asked hard enough, maybe he would. Prim would want to, but there is no way I am bringing her along on such a dangerous mission. I am still planning my break-in when I fall asleep.

I am on a misty ledge with no visibility around me. I can see the edge of the rock, but not how far down it goes.

Suddenly the mist clears. There is Gale and Peeta. Both are dangerously close to the ledge, which now seems like a bottomless pit. I reach out to save them, but I realize that only one of my arms is working. The other is in a sling. I begin to reach for Peeta, but then I remember Gale. I turn to get him, but he is gone. I turn back to Peeta, but he is gone to. I have lost them. I have lost them….